As promised, here's the next chapter!
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Suzanne Collins.
I'm counting. No longer counting the ways he could be hurting, but counting something else.
Numbers cloud my head. The best thing about counting is that you can stop and start over. You can pause and rewind. You always know what's coming next.
Sometimes it takes me a long time to count some things, like the number of lights in District 13. I often get lost and have to recount again. After getting lost at least five times, I finally memorized the place.
Sometimes it takes me less than five minutes to count some things, like the number of steps there are in mixing a chemical or something.
But no matter what it is, whether it takes me one day or one minute to count it, I write it down in the notebook Finnick gave me. The pages are all neat and ordered, the question printed neatly with the answer underneath. The notebook slowly fills up.
I spend the day reviewing the numbers in my head – always starting at one. Always starting back to the beginning again. Looking for new things to count. Over and over again. Repeat it again and again.
Sometimes I bump into other victors, all of which don't look any better than I do – except for Beetee. I talk a little to Haymitch about the rebellion and their plans. I listen to Katniss when she speaks. I help Beetee in his office with anything he needs help with. I talk to Finnick all the time.
I started eating again. I started sleeping again. Things almost seemed normal.
Except for the dreams.
I'd always get nightmares. Nightmares of being in the prison cell but not being able to help. Nightmare of watching him in pain.
But worst of all, nightmares of memories I wished I could forget.
"You're beautiful, Hannah. Don't be insecure about your looks. I think you're the most gorgeous person on earth." The boy said, smiling sweetly at the girl.
The girl only lowered her head further. Teardrops were falling faster.
The boy gently lifted the girl's head up, holding it steady.
"I love everything about you. I love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. I love the way your nose scrunches up when you're angry. I love the way your eyebrows knit together when you're concentrating." The boy whispered.
"Really?" The girl trembled.
"Really." The boy smiled reassuringly at her.
The boy held the girl into a tight embrace, his arms going around her protectively. He continued whispering into the girl's ear.
"I love the way you blush when you're embarrassed. I love the way you bite your lips when you're nervous."
The girl laughed softly.
"I love the way your eyes sparkle when you're delighted. I love the way you stick out your tongue when you're writing." The boy said tenderly.
"Please don't forget Hannah. You're beautiful. Every expression, every emotion you show on your face is beautiful. Every little thing about you lights up my whole world." He stared straight into the girl's eyes. "I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Every little thing about you I can see. Every expression feels like its mine."
"I love you, Hannah."
I'd wake up, sweating and crying. I wished I could forget. I wished I could just delete those memories and make things a million times easier for me.
But at the same time, I didn't want to let go of them.
The dreams seemed so clear, so sharp. I could see every detail. It's like he's there. Like he's real.
I don't know which one is worse – the nightmares in the prison or the nightmares of my memories.
So. Hope you guys all liked it! It's a lot shorter than usual (sorry, sorry) and they probably will get longer.
I guess I'm going to try posting a chapter every few days or so, but definitely one chapter per week at least. That'll be my goal.
Seriously. I really intend to keep this going because it's really bugging me how this story took so long to finish.
I would really just like to give a big THANK YOU to all who have reviewed so far! I really appreciate all of your comments and feedback, and just thank you so much.
Any comments, feedback, questions? Feel free to review!
Thanks for reading!