Okay here's the new chapter! A special thanks to britt395v02 and Mrs. Big Bad Malfoy for reviewing chapter 9!
Chapter 10-Every Breath
I literally burst into sobs.
I was shaking so hard that I couldn't see straight. I blindly reached for some paper towel and used my foot to push it around so it could pick up the liquid. The smell was horrible and made me want to throw up. After the mess was somewhat cleaned up I started to make my way towards the den. I had one hand on my belly and another on the wall. I was about a few steps down the hallway when this horrible pain shot through my entire body. The pain was overwhelming and it felt like someone took a hot iron to my stomach and was slowing ripping out my intestines.
I fell to the floor on my back, and started to cry harder. If that was only one contraction, then what will the rest of them feel like? When my vision cleared up from the pain, I attempted to get up but couldn't. Another contraction hit and the only thing I could do was roll to the side and scream.
I turned to the other side and blindly reached for something to pull me up; the only thing in my reach was the wall. I briefly considered staying on the ground when another contraction hit and I banged my head on the floor. I had spots in my eyes for a minute. I reached for the wall again and began pulling myself down the hallway.
It hurt so badly.
Every inch felt like a mile. Between the contractions in my belly, and the carpet burns on my arms I didn't know which part hurt more. It took me almost thirty minutes to make it to the den, and I still wasn't on the futon.
I crawled to the edge and used it to pull my body up. As soon as I was half way up, a contraction hit and I almost launched myself back onto the floor. When the pain lessened a little bit, I managed to pull my body the rest of the way onto the futon, which was next to all of the things I needed for the baby after the birth.
I knew I was crying, but it was nearly impossible to tell the difference between my sweat and my tears.
As I laid there I thought of the Cullen's. I thought of how they would act if they were here right now. I though of how happy they would be about this baby. If they were here I would be so much happier. I wouldn't be in so much pain. But wanting them to be here wouldn't change anything; I was delivering this baby alone.
It's not supposed to happen like this. I thought I still had time. Why am I in labor? Is the baby ok? Am I really ready for this? And as another contraction hit I asked myself a question I hadn't considered:
Will I survive this?
When you see the pregnant women give birth on tv they push a few times and BAM! They have a baby. This is not like that AT ALL! It hurts so bad, and it feels like I'm being ripped apart. As I pushed again I thought of Edward's smiling face and I felt the pain diminish a little. I reached my hand down and I could feel the little head crowning and I almost screamed with joy. I started to push and gently pulled the baby out. First came the head, and one little shoulder, then another, and then the rest of him. Yes a him.
Welcome to the world little Evan Anthony Cullen.
I pulled him towards me quickly and opened his mouth and airway. He cried out and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard! I cut his umbilical cord and wrapped it like the example in the book. Then I took some soft towels and began to wipe his little body down. Once I was finished I wrapped him in a yellow blanket I had put aside for the occasion and really looked at him.
He was beautiful. He had my round face, but he had Edward's nose and mouth. His hair was a reddish brown, and already appeared to be unruly. I couldn't see his eyes but I prayed they were brown or green. I would rather my child had my eye color then to have the dark eyes of a creature that lives off blood. I nothing against vampires, but I don't want my child to grow up that way. And there's also the part where the baby would need me to hunt for him until he was old enough. And I'm sorry, I can't catch a butterfly, let alone a deer.
I saw his eyes begin to open and I saw a flash of emerald green. And it was the most beautiful thing. I felt a weight lift off of my soul and more tears came to my eyes. I reached my finger out to him and he grabbed hold and held on strong. I pulled him close and rocked him. And as he fell into dreamland I whispered, "Mommy loves you so much."
I've never been this happy.
/One Week Later/
I've never been this tired.
Evan is a beautiful baby. And usually he is very quiet and content to be in my arms and just rock back and forth. But when he's hungry, needs a diaper change, or he is cold in any way, shape or form, he is NOT a happy baby!
I dropped the plate I was washing and ran upstairs to the nursery where ten minutes ago I had laid Evan down for a nap. I picked him up and he instantly quieted down. I looked in his diaper but he was dry, so it wasn't that. But then I felt he little mouth trying to get to my nipple through my shirt, and I suddenly understood why his highness had beckoned me. I gave a sigh of despair and moved to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. I pulled down my shirt to expose my sore and bruised nipple and let Evan latch on, and it hurt like a bitch.
Apparently, I'm one of the unlucky girls with extremely sensitive breasts, and to top it off, my son has a rough mouth. But he has to eat, so I endure it. Sometimes I have to switch him to another breast because he's so rough that sometimes the nipple is rubbed raw and begins to bleed.
After about ten minutes he's done and now I'm rocking him in the chair to get him to go back to sleep. His little eyes start to droop and so I decided to start singing a lullaby my mom used to sing to me when I was a little kid.
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine,
You make me happy,
When skies are grey,
You'll never know dear,
How much I love you,
So please don't take my,
Evan away.
It never fails that by the time I get to the final line of the song, he drifts off to sleep and cuddles deep into my arms. I wrap him securely in his blanket, and place him back into the crib. I check the baby monitor and makes sure it's on and then I slowly and quietly make my way downstairs.
Okay that's all folks! Please Review and tell me if you like it! I'll update as soon as I can!