I know, it's been a while. But I won't apologize... I've had some personal stuff that I have to deal with, that's why this chapter is so short. I might take a break from writing for a while, I'm not sure. Anyway, I took a chapter from my own personal book of feels so this short chapter means a lot to me. I don't know if I've mentioned this but this is sort of like a diary. This is Alex's personal feelings and writing. Think of it like the Kane Chronicles, where the main characters are recording their voices. And also, for future reference this is after the PJO series, the war with Gaea never happens, and the prophecy of 7 was never given.

I faced the target closest to me and closed my eyes, picturing where all the others were. My muscles took over and I felt them contract and loosen on their own, firing arrow after arrow, I spun around, imagining each arrow smacking into the targets with a satisfying thump. I opened my eyes and found not only had every arrow hit, but they were all perfectly in the middle.

I grinned, proud of my success, and went over to retrieve the arrows. Instead, I found a certain blond-haired, grey-eyed girl staring at me in amazement. Her eyes wide with excitement and, was that jealousy? "Hi." I said.

"That- that was amazing! I mean, I knew children of Apollo were great archers but, I've never seen anything like that before!"

"Thanks." I said, smiling.

"You know, I've never been good with a bow, no matter how hard I try I just can't shoot."

"I could maybe, uh, I could teach you sometime." I said, somewhat awkwardly.

"Well, people have tried to teach me before, to no avail, but with the moves you have maybe it'll work."

"Okay. Yeah, cool."

We stood there for awhile, me collecting my arrows trying not to look like a complete idiot, and her well, I didn't quite know what she was doing. I tried not to look directly at her.

"So, um, Alex?" Annabeth said.

"Yeah?" I said grunting as I pulled an arrow out of a target bag.

"I just came here to apologize for earlier. I just haven't seen Percy for a long time and I was just so excited to see him."

"Oh... yeah no problem." I told her.

"Ok, and teach me to shoot sometime, yeah?"

"Of course."

She left, and I was now alone with my thoughts. Why would she apologize? I thought. Does she like me? Shut up, she has a boyfriend stupid. Yeah but, that doesn't mean she can't like me.

I sighed heavily, stupid teenage guy brain. I went back to my cabin to try to find something to distract me from my thoughts. I found my ipod, laid down and put it on shuffle. Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas came on.

Once I rose above the noise and confusion

Just to get a glimpse behind this illusion

I was soaring ever higher

but I flew too high...

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man

Though my mind could think I still was a mad man

I hear the voices when I'm dreaming...

Yup, perfect summary of the last couple weeks. My whole life in fact, had been one massive illusion. The song continued to play.

Masquerading as a man with a reason.

I couldn't find a reason to continue to live like this, but I acted normal in front of people.

My charade is the event of the season.

Everyone thinks I'm fine, but on the inside I'm dying.

And if I claim to be a wise man, then it surely means that I don't know.

I have no idea what life is anymore...

On a stormy sea of moving emotion, tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean.

One minute, I'm crying. The next, I'm the guy that jokes around during training. I continued listening to the song, comparing the lines to my lonely little life. Which was very depressing by the way. If you saw me you'd have no idea I was this depressed... I had friends, I laughed and joked around all the time. I acted happy. But deep, deep down... I wanted to die.

Just over a month ago, my life was perfect. I had a family, albeit a small one, but I was loved. I had my best friend Darrin, I had hockey and archery, my two favorite things in the world. Now, I have a bunch of fake friends, have no idea how my family is doing. I rarely see Darrin and when I do it's small encounters. We never hang out like we used to. I can't blame my friends though, they try to make me feel welcome, but I can't escape the feeling that I don't belong here. I was fine the first few weeks, until the severity of my situation really struck me.

Come to think of it, me being claimed was the worst thing to happen to me. I thought it would make me happy, knowing I have a father that's all powerful, instead makes me angry. He's a freakin' god! Why the hell couldn't he save my mother? The one he supposedly loved. He could've done something... but no, he just sat back on his big, comfy thrown... watching her die. Watching me grow up without a father or mother. And what did he do? Absolutely shit, that's what!

You know what? F the gods, F everything. I'm done... this is most likely the last time you'll hear from me. I'll see you in hell... or Hades, whatever... goodbye.