Tenzin coming through her doorway would have been the last thing she wanted months ago, but it was different back then – she was heartbroken and couldn't see things clearly. Now she was just plain confused. She let him pass and flicked on a night light as he did, bathing the room in pale, green glow.
He stood nervously at the foot of her bed, looking strangely out of element in Earth Kingdom clothing. He was rubbing his arms vigorously, giving the impression of someone feeling really cold. "It's awful chilly tonight," he remarked with a slight quiver in his voice.
Lin made her way to the windows, closing each of them swiftly. The hairs at the back of her neck stood on end, and she had this nagging sensation that Tenzin was following her every move. She was sure that if his eyes could burn into her, they already did. "You can sit on my bed if you want," she told him, trying hard not to make eye contact as she put a robe over her sleepwear.
He muttered thanks and sat at the foot of her bed. Lin climbed in and covered herself with the blanket. She was quite unnerved by such a late-night visit, and the thought of Tenzin seeing her bare arms and her bosom made her feel queasy, even though Tenzin has seen it all – and probably memorized her body in every detail.
"I heard my mother earlier," he began. "She was arguing with my Dad. I hope you won't take offense, but Mom thinks you're –"
"Pregnant."
Tenzin looked at her, his gray eyes unwavering. "Is it…?"
Lin looked down at her sheets, resisting the urge to look him in the eye. She bit her lip sharply, relishing the taste of iron slowly seeping in her mouth. We have iron in our veins, her mother boasted. We are steadfast, strong, unyielding. We are Beifongs. But why is she faltering now? She has to let Tenzin know that she doesn't need him anymore and that he had no business meddling with her life after he left her.
"Lin, tell me."
Just tell him, Lin. Look him in the eye and tell him you don't need him.
"You not the only one I shared my bed with, Tenzin," she told him, trying to make it sound like a matter of fact.
Tenzin didn't move – her words seemed to have frozen him for a moment. "We both know you are lying," he said shakily. "I know you are trying to hurt me, Lin." He turned towards her, trying to see her face to face, but she averted his gaze and covered her face with her hands. "Face me, Captain Beifong."
Shit, Lin thought. This was a fight she was bound to lose, no matter how hard she tried. It was apparent that Tenzin had no intention of letting the issue pass so easily.
"I did the math. You are pregnant with my child, aren't you?"
"And if I say yes?!" Lin screamed. "Will that change the fact that we chose to live our lives apart, Tenzin? Will that change the fact that you are getting married to that girl?! She's a child, Tenzin! What does she have that I don't, huh – what made you betray me?!" Tears finally burst from her eyes. Lin clenched her fists, wanting to punch Tenzin's face – wanting him to know all the hurt he has made her suffer for the past months.
"You made me leave our relationship," he said rather calmly. "My greatest dream was for you to be my wife and be the mother of my children. I wanted to grow old with you, Lin. But it's that stupid pride – that Beifong legacy of yours that made me think twice."
She slapped his face, her hand leaving a bright splotch of color on his cheek. "Don't you dare drag my family into this," she hissed.
"Pema is perfect for me." Tenzin told her. There was a certain conviction in his voice that sent daggers to Lin's heart. "She is all that you are not. You have kept me in the dark for so long, Lin! Can't you see that? I wasted many years of my life thinking just about where we stand – I made a fool of myself for thinking you would want to marry me. Why don' you admit it, Lin? You are married to your career."
"At least it won't leave me for some mare so it can breed," she retorted sharply.
"Dammit, Lin Beifong!" Tenzin took her by the shoulders and shook her hard. "Why don't you just look into my eyes and tell me whether that child is mine or not?!"
"THEY ARE MINE! MINE ALONE!"
Silver met emerald in a confused gaze.
"They are my children," Lin whispered, sobbing. "My children, Tenzin. I grew up without a father and I turned out fine. Mother raised me all on her own, and I am determined to the same without your help."
They? Tenzin couldn't believe what he just heard. Could Lin probably be carrying twins? "I don't understand."
"You don't need to," Lin replied, wiping her tear-streaked face. Her cool exterior was back, and so was her trademark scowl. Tenzin listened to her ragged breathing, wanting so much to wrap his arms around her just like he always did when Lin was distressed. "I used to… not want them, you know?" she said when she was finally calm. "When you left, I thought I'd lost everything that mattered to me."
Tenzin shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"So I made it a point to pour my heart out to my job, the only world I knew outside of – of – of us. The day I found out I was pregnant, I felt lost – more lost than when I realized we were over. I'm twenty nine, and well on my way up the Metalbending police – the general shit you'd hear from me all the time, I guess. I told myself, hey, I can't be a single mother. I was worried I might end up like my mom. But when I first felt those tiny hearts beating deep inside me, I found out that – as cynical as I am – I can love."
She laughed – to Tenzin, it was a breeze that seemed to kill all the tension in the air. Here was the Lin he grew up with, the Lin he built his dreams upon, long ago. He felt electricity course through his body as Lin reached for his hand, placing his palm on top of her stomach. This is it, he thought. This was the answer I've been looking for.
"Can you feel them, Tenzin?"'
He closed his eyes, trying to feel the heartbeats she so adored.
"I can love again, Tenzin. And I would never love anyone as much as I would love them. They're all I have," she said, smiling to herself.
"But if –"
"I don't want you to leave Pema. I am happy for you – I really am. I'm sorry if it had to be this way, Ten."
Tenzin's mind flooded with images of a certain air acolyte with auburn hair and dark eyes – a woman who was ready to build a future with him – and his childhood love, the woman he still considered as his twin soul, tall and pale and raven-haired, who was letting him go. He had a mind to kiss her one last time, just to convince himself that the flame was still there – that the embers, dying as they are, could once again be fanned to life – but thought better of it. Instead, he held on to her hand like it was lifeline.
"Ni ai wo ma?"
How he loved it when Lin spoke the Old Language of the Earth Kingdom! It sounded so fluid and melodic when she spoke it. "Ni shi wo de meng zhong qingren," he replied. Lin moved closer, placing her head on his shoulder. He squeezed her hand. "You still are."
"Stay with me?" she asked. "For the last time?"
He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he found himself climbing into bed with Lin, locking her in a deep embrace.
Lin closed her eyes, fighting back tears as she realized that this would probably be the only glimpse she would have of a life that Tenzin had envisioned for both of them – a life that he would soon be living with someone else.
When she woke up and felt the cold spot where he had lain, Captain Lin Beifong, the shining star of Republic City's Metalbending Police, knew that it was too late.