She slid her sunglasses to the top of her head, her curls waving in the slight breeze.
The walk to the grave marker was one she knew she'd be able to do half-asleep, but she still looked up and counted rows as she made her way towards the large tree she used as a guide.
The cemetery held more members of her family than she cared to admit and as she walked passed each row, she offered a small prayer for her fallen brethren.
Tali, her sister. Her cousins Feya and Ramiel. Uncles. Aunts. Her mother.
The grave marker shown against the others, the bronze marker displaying the name: Chaim Hofi.
"Hello, Chaim," she said, stooping next to the plot, placing a large pebble on the grave marker. "I brought that for you from America- I found it last Tuesday and thought you might like it."
"I go running with a friend of mine every week," she said, speaking as if the grave marker was able to reply. "It is a nice routine and I enjoy the company. My partner – Tony – he and I do several miles each night. The trails are rather challenging and ... you'd like him, Chaim. He's a good man."
Ziva paused, feeling herself chuckle. "He's a man, of course, and acts like a pig most of the time. But I think that is part of being a man, yes? You were a pig, too. But you were a good man. Tony is a good man."
"He is infuriating. But he is also the first man that has been able to make me laugh, cry, and want to beat him all at the same time," she smiled. "I think you would approve."
"I want to try to ..." she stuttered, unable to even speak the thought of committing to him – lest she be disappointed should it not work out. "I want to be more than a killer- I want to be worthy of someone's love again. You would be proud. I am an investigator now, not just an assassin. And I think I might be ready to be someone's partner outside of work. I believe Tony and I could be that for each other."
"Don't worry," she said, her fingers tracing the letters on his name. "I will not forget you. But perhaps I will have someone else with me when I visit next time. Perhaps I can get Tony to come and give his respects as well," she smirked. "If it works out, perhaps we will have little DiNozzos one year, too. I think you would like to see that, Chaim. I think you would like to see me live again."
A small tear escaped her, her head bent over his plot.
She stood, squared her shoulders and wiped her eyes quickly. Ziva steeled her features before turning and heading away from the grave marker, away from Chaim, away from her past.
She passed the row of her mother.
She passed the row of her sister.
She passed the row of her cousins, her grandparents, her friends and commrads.
Death surrounded her.
She wondered, briefly, if she caused death bringing it with her wherever she went & infecting others... or if it just permeated her life.