It was a rare occurrence when Stanley Marsh had seen Kyle mad at him.
The first time was sometime in kindergarten, when Stan had stolen one of the toys Kyle was playing with. He thought it was a toy car, but he couldn't really remember the incident very well. It was so far back in his memory that it had almost disappeared. However, he could remember the rush of fear when Kyle had stomped up to him, his green eyes full of rage. He had almost wet his pants.
The second time was sometime in fourth grade. They had gone years without fighting, but they actually had a few small fights in fourth and fifth grade. Some weren't worth remembering, but Stan could definitely remember an instance when they had found a caveman, and argued who it belonged to. Kyle and he had been really pissed at each other, and once again, Stan had been almost overwhelmed by the angry look in Kyle's eyes.
The last time they had fought, however, had been the worst. They hadn't spoken to each other in a month. It had happened while they were in middle school. The fight had been rather stupid, really. In fact, Stan wasn't really sure how it even started; it was just an argument about what bands they liked the best. However, it had somehow blown up into a huge deal, and Kyle's anger had made Stan avoid the other for weeks out of fear.
It wasn't as if he ever thought Kyle would hurt him, yet Kyle usually only reserved such anger toward Cartman. Perhaps Stan was just uncomfortable to be given similar treatment as Kyle gave his nemesis. Or perhaps it was just because that look in Kyle's eyes was just really fucking scary.
"Are you ok?" he asked, concerned about the wellbeing of his best friend. But as he turned toward Kyle, he could immediately sense the anger. When he looked into Kyle's eyes, he felt his stomach drop.
Fuck.
"Do I look fucking ok?" Kyle spat, his voice trembling with rage.
Stan felt panicked. "I, uh, well…"
"You fucking TOLD someone else that I'm gay? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"I only told Wendy!" he said, taking a step away from Kyle.
"You only told Wendy? You ONLY told WENDY? You shouldn't have fucking told anyone! Now, somehow, the whole fucking school knows! Do you realize what a walking bull's eye I've become because of you?"
"B-but she's my girlfriend…"
"I don't fucking care who the fuck she is. I like Wendy just as much as the next person, but that doesn't give you a right to tell her! If I wanted her to know, I would have mentioned it to her personally, Stan."
"I tell her everything, Kyle," Stan argued, feeling his defenses perk up. "You know that."
"Well, somehow or another, everyone knows."
"Are you accusing Wendy of blabbing? Because she wouldn't!"
"Oh, really? Then who else did you tell?"
"Why do you think it was me?"
"Because I'm not an idiot Stan."
"I didn't…" Stan paused as realization hit. He hadn't exactly told her, but he had accidently let something slip when he was around one of Wendy's friends. "I-I… I didn't mean…"
"I knew it! Shit, Stan, I thought I could trust you!"
"You can!"
"Obviously I can't, if you're telling other people about my sexuality!"
"Is it really that big of a deal if everyone knows?"
"For fuck's sake, Stan, of course it is! Do you realize what those guys were about to do to me? They weren't going to play nice, that's for sure."
"Calm down, Kyle, I really didn't mean-"
"I don't fucking care if you didn't mean it. This is beyond a huge betrayal Stan. How could you treat me with so little respect? You refuse to talk to me for over a week, just because you're freaked out that I'm gay or something, and then you go and blab to someone else, so that the whole fucking school knows? I can't believe you!"
"I'm sorry!"
"If you had been sorry, you should have said something a week ago. It's too late, Stan. You fucked everything up."
"This isn't all my fault!"
"Oh, really? Whose fault is it then?"
"Well, it's not like you tried all that hard to talk to me this week."
"Screw you, Stan, you know I tried to talk to you a few times, and you just ran away like a scared girl."
"I'm not like a scared girl."
"You totally are."
"Fuck you, Kyle. I can't help it if I'm uncomfortable around you."
"You shouldn't be uncomfortable around me! That's my whole point! I'm your best friend!"
"You WERE my best friend. You're completely different! You went to that fucking camp and everything suddenly changed."
"Nothing changed, Stan. I'm who I always was."
"No, you're not. I don't even know who you are anymore!"
"I'm starting to think that I don't know you, either."
"Screw you, Kyle."
"No thank you, Stan."
"Fuck off!"
"What the hell is your problem?"
"YOU'RE my problem! You think you're so high and mighty now that you're different, but guess what – you're just a joke!"
"I told you, I'm not any different!"
"You make me sick."
Stan could sense that his words had hurt Kyle rather deeply, but he was so mad that he didn't care.
He continued. "Just stay the fuck away from me, you stupid quee-"
Suddenly, a blast of pain exploded on the left side of his jaw, his head jerking toward the right. His hand flew up to his cheek, his mind taking a moment to understand what the hell had just happened. He quickly looked at Kyle, whose fist was still hanging midair.
"Don' t use that-"
"I can't believe you-"
"word, you stupid-"
"just hit me!"
"asshole."
"I'm not an –"
"Fuck you and –"
"asshole, you fag!"
"the horse that you-"
"Never hit me again-"
"rode in on!"
"Or I'll beat the shit-"
"Oh, I'm so fucking scared-"
"out of you, -"
"You're so far in-"
"you goddamn-"
"the closet that-"
WHAM! Stan could hear the sound his own fist made when it hit Kyle's face echo down the hallway. Kyle stumbled back from the impact, grasping at his eye, and Stan could hear him curse underneath his breath.
Things were blowing up. Stan shook with rage, fear, and betrayal. He felt lost. Nothing made sense anymore. On one hand, he couldn't believe that he had hit Kyle, but on the other, he felt like the stupid jerk deserved it. This wasn't right. None of it was right. They shouldn't be fighting. They were best friends.
Kyle straightened up, his hand still clasped over his left eye. He stared at Stan, shock written all over his face. As Stan looked back at him, he felt like he was going to be sick. But for the first time since Kyle had come back from the camp, it wasn't because of Kyle's looks but rather the sickening situation they had gotten themselves into.
He had to get away. He couldn't look at him anymore. All of this was Kyle's fault. None of this would have happened if Kyle had just been satisfied with the way their friendship had been. Stan abruptly turned on his heel and stormed down the hallway, not looking back at the boy he had once considered his best friend.
Everything had just blown up, and Stan didn't know how to fix it.
-.-.-.-.-.
"Where's Wendy?"
"She went home. I think she's a little mad at me that I got into a fist fight with Kyle today," Stan mumbled, his face hidden in his arms.
Most of his new friends were originally Wendy's friends, but he had clicked more with Wendy's guy friends than the girls. He was sitting with a small group of them after school. They had decided to hang by the race track, sitting up in the bleachers.
"She'll get over it."
"I hope so," Stan sighed, lifting his head. "I just can't believe he wasn't in the least bit grateful that I saved him from the seniors in the football team."
"Eh, screw him."
"Ugh, look at those girls down there," another guy piped in, pointing at some girls walking across the track. "What is with everyone lately? I don't see why everyone is deciding to change their clothes."
"It's not really about that," the first guy responded. "I mean, they are using it as an excuse to pretend that they are something they aren't. Look at Red. She's acting like a complete bitch now."
"Yeah, I totally agree. I bet you all that by this time next week, more than half the school is going to be wearing different shit, and trying to be someone they aren't."
"That's not comforting in the slightest."
"Not us, though. We all know exactly who we are, and we aren't going to pretend that we're someone different."
"Right!"
"I wish there was some way for us to stop this madness."
Stan listened to them absentmindedly while thinking that hanging out with them was nowhere near as fun as when he hung out with his old friends.
-.-.-.-.-.
"What the hell happened to you?"
Stan tensed, recognizing the voice instantly. He had decided to go home, and was just about to exit the track area when he had heard the voice from below the bleachers. Kenny peered out at him, half consumed by darkness. A girl was with him, one that Stan didn't recognize. She was adjusting her shirt.
Stan pursed his lips, not really wanting to talk about what had happened. "I guess you haven't seen Kyle, then."
Even in the shadows, Stan could see Kenny's eyebrow arch up. A moment passed before Kenny turned and grinned at the girl.
"Hey, I'm going to walk home with my friend here. But I'll see you tomorrow before school starts?"
"Sure thing, babe. See you later, Kenny!" She waved, smiled sweetly at Stan, and left them. Stan watched her go and then turned his attention back toward Kenny.
He slowly made his way out from behind the bleachers, studying Stan's black and blue mark on his cheek. "Shit… Kyle really got you good, didn't he?"
"Yeah," Stan mumbled, turning a bit away as if to hide the proof of their fight.
Kenny cleared his throat. "Look, Stan… I don't know what's going on with you and Kyle, but… shit. I'm sorry I accused you of liking him last week. You know how I am sometimes – I can say the stupidest shit."
"I-it's ok, Kenny," Stan stammered.
"Seriously. I told you I wouldn't take sides, and I did. I've been hanging out with the rest of the group, and it felt like you were ditching me too. I mean, you haven't tried to see me since you both started your fight."
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Kenny, but… maybe its better this way."
"Why?"
"Well… I don't want you to get in between our fight. It's not fair to you."
"Yeah, but it sucks if I lose one of my good friends in the process."
"Sorry…"
"Come on, let's walk."
They started walking through the sports field, back toward the school. Stan shoved his pockets in his jacket, knowing that Kenny wasn't going to leave things the way they stood.
"Stan," Kenny started, "I don't want to be a jerk, but seriously, dude, you're acting like a prick. I'm not saying that we have done everything correctly, either. I know I fucked up already, picking that fight with you before. But dude, you have to make up with Kyle soon. The longer you fight, the harder it's going to be."
"I think it's too late, Kenny. Today, Kyle and I really blew up at each other in the hallway. He's really pissed. I don't know if he could ever forgive me."
"I know Kyle can be… stubborn. But he hasn't been himself since you guys started fighting. He obviously misses you."
"I don't know how all of this happened, Kenny. I mean, Kyle came back from camp, and I was mad. He had broken his promise to me that he would talk to me every night."
"I'm sure he got busy, Stan."
"Yeah, I know, but that doesn't give him an excuse to not contact me for an entire month. But I was willing to forgive that. But then, he shows up, completely different. South Park was driving him nuts; he wanted change. He wanted to be himself. I get that. But it still makes me feel like I wasn't good enough for him. Put that on TOP of him not contacting me… It hurt. But again, I was trying to forgive him for that. Now, suddenly, he's come out. I felt… awkward, Kenny. The thought that we have been friends for so long that he couldn't even tell me hurt. Also, I've been sharing a bed with him up until now, whenever we have sleepovers!" Stan could see Kenny shake his head next to him, but he continued. He had to get this off of his chest. "And due to his new clothes, Kyle suddenly looks… looks… good. I'm not gay, but… there's something about Kyle. And I don't want to sleep with him, or dump Wendy, or anything like that. But the thought of him possibly being attracted to me scared me. I overreacted. I acted like a complete jerk. But I didn't have the balls to apologize. Yesterday, I had made a promise to myself that I would finally apologize, but today Kyle and I got into a fight first. We both said… things. Now, I think that it's too late to save our friendship. He's pissed, and I said some horrible things. We threw punches, for god's sake. I just feel like the situation just keeps getting worse and worse."
Kenny was quiet after Stan's small rant. Stan kicked at the ground as they walked. They were now passed the school grounds and heading toward the residential area.
Kenny sighed. "You're an idiot, you know that?"
"Yeah," Stan miserably agreed.
"Kyle would forgive you for anything. He loves you. And not like that, you homophobic jerk." Kenny pushed him playfully to show that he was at least mildly kidding, but Stan knew that there was some truth in Kenny's words. There always was.
"I don't know. It's gotten pretty bad."
"You guys have been through too much for you to just throw away your relationship. I say, give it a little bit of time, and then come crawling to Kyle, begging for forgiveness."
"But am I seriously the only one who should be apologizing?"
"Probably not. But someone has to begin the sorry chain; otherwise this fight is going to last forever. Kyle's forgiving, but you really need to get on the ball. He's not going to wait forever."
"Kenny?" Stan questioned, wondering why his voice sounded so small.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Stan had to be one of the luckiest people on earth of have a friend like Kenny. For the first time since their friendship began, Stan truly appreciated Kenny in a way he never had in the past.
He just hoped that he didn't realize it too late.