YOU GUYS I WANT TO YELL AND SCREAM ABOUT THE FINALE BUT APPARENTLY THAT'S SPOILERS SO I'M JUST GONNA VAGUELY CAPS AT YOU UUUAAAAAAAA!
I woke up a few days ago to my awesome bud abelmayfair sending me THAT VIDEO and honestly I don't think either of us have properly calmed down since. Go. Watch. Then come back and we'll scream together, ok?
Anyway, about this story, the whole reason you're reading this. Focus, Plesi. I promise that after this I won't use this trope again, not here. I've got a reason for it though and I will tie everything in by the end of the story. Remember back at the start when I naively thought this might only be about 10 chapters long? Ah, here we are at chapter 10 and nowhere near done. Looks more and more like this is going to be another behemoth and current projections are that it's gonna cover the whole year until the twins' sixth birthday. And that one shot is on it's way I promise! I hope you enjoy it.
*EDIT* also in case it wasn't clear, Dr Armstrong is Muscle Princess.
Content Warning: wild kids, foreign languages (Gujarati, German), remembered trauma, implied peril, personal closure rituals. That's as much as I can say without giving away a ton of spoilers.
Summer break meant long days and time to focus on new projects, for Marcy at least it meant not having to get up early for work since there were no more lectures to deliver until the middle of September when her new herd of idiot first years arrived and had to be taught which way up to hold their cellos. It was long, drowsy mornings in bed letting her brain wake up gently because Bonnie was already up and dealing with the kids-
"I'm going to work, see you tonight!"
Shit. It meant getting up as soon as the front door closed because she'd forgotten that her girlfriend had an early start and the kids absolutely couldn't be unsupervised downstairs even for half a minute. But they were getting older, perhaps they'd learned to be a little bit less wild as they grew? Marcy allowed herself a single moment of naive hope as she stumbled to the stairs and hurried down to an already half-destroyed kitchen. She barely heard the sound of something falling and spilling across the floor around her huge yawn.
"Ina, oh my God, get off the counter! Where's your sister? Sofia! Come here, Blue Eyes! Did you open the back door? Is Philip outside with the puppy?"
Once an entire box of breakfast cereal had been swept off the floor, Sofia had been located trying to climb over the fence into next door's garden and Philip had washed the damp soil he and Schwabl had been digging in off his arms Marcy finally let out a breath of relief. All three kids were still within the limits of the house, all limbs were attached to their owners and it had only cost a box of cornflakes, a few damaged flowers and a sizeable chunk of parental sanity. That was actually pretty decent since Marcy definitely wasn't confident in her solo parenting abilities. Not a terrible start to the day, all things considered.
"Mum, I'm bored. Can we do something fun?"
And that was before she'd even gotten out of her pyjamas and drank a mug of patience-granting coffee. But Ingrid was using her most adorable puppydog eyes and her mother didn't have a heart of stone, she couldn't help but smile and crouch down for a hug. Where had the time gone? Ina was such a big girl now.
"Can you and your brother watch Sofia while I get a quick shower and get dressed? Then we'll see about doing something fun, ok?" she asked gently.
"Kay. Can I watch cartoons?"
Ok, the kids had their cartoons and Ina was bossing Sofia who was ignoring her and trying to make Philip dance instead, they could be left alone for the five minutes it took to get a very quick wash, right? Probably not, Marcy knew, realistically they'd almost certainly have destroyed something or started a fight when she was done but that was just a risk she'd have to take. So she was immediately suspicious when the first sounds she heard on exiting the bathroom a short while later was controlled giggling from downstairs and not shrieking or crying. At least that meant she might even be able to blow dry her hair instead of just tying it back and hoping for the best.
Except that when she walked into her bedroom the first thing she saw was Philip sitting at Bonnie's vanity table and humming to himself while he painted a big smiley face on the mirror in lipstick. He caught her reflection and grinned proudly.
"Mummy, look! I put pretty on the mirror lady!"
So that was Marcy's morning, cleaning the antique mirror on the vanity and trying to stop the kids destroying stuff. She'd almost forgotten what Philip had said about the 'mirror lady', it took a while for her to remember because after lunch she made what seemed like a mundane decision to take the kids with her to the grocery store and after that she had plenty of other things on her mind.
It was as they were paying for groceries and Marcy was trying to negotiate a cart of food, Sofia wriggling around in her baby sling and the twins loudly petitioning to go to the park next. An elderly Indian woman tapped her shoulder and handed Marcy her purse with a smile.
"Excuse me? You dropped this." she said with a heavy accent. And without a thought, without even realising beforehand that the old woman sounded just like her grandmother had or that she wore the same kind of jewellery and sari, Marcy opened her mouth to say thank you.
"Ah, abhara! Mem tene chodi didhum?"
The old woman laughed at the expression on both twins' faces.
"Your mother does not speak Gujarati in your home?" she asked them with a smile. Philip shook his head and slid a little further back behind Ingrid, he was shy around new people.
"I can barely remember any of it, I haven't spoken Gujarati since my grandmother passed." Marcy confessed. "Thanks for returning my purse. Say goodbye, kids. Aawjo."
"Aawjo." Ina repeated, waving hard enough for both herself and her brother as they make their way back out to the car.
"Mummy, why did you talk funny to the lady?" Philip asked curiously once he was buckled into his car seat.
"Because she reminded me of my grandmother and I did it without thinking. That lady must have been form Gujarat too. That's a place in India, it's where my mother's mother was from. I didn't even realise I remembered any of the language."
"But why do they got different words for stuff?"
"Because people speak different languages in different countries."
"Do you know any other words, Mummy?" Ina asked with her eyes sparkling as they pulled out onto the main road.
"Lemme see... uh... Kutaro. That means dog. And biladi is cat, I think. It's been a very long time, sorry guys."
It was one of those perfect moments that would stay in her memory forever. Sofia was asleep in her car seat, Ina was gazing at the back of her head in wonder and Philip was looking out of his window and humming to the traffic. It was just unfortunate that the reason it was forever branded into her memory was because in the next instant the peace was shattered by Philip screaming a single word that had her stamping on the brakes in instinctive panic. The huge truck that had barrelled through the red light at the intersection just ahead missed smashing into their vehicle with all of its force, it caught the driver's side and sent them pinwheeling to face the wrong direction in a bewildering whirl of breaking glass and metal twisting against metal.
...
There were some memories that were burned into Bonnibel's brain, almost too-real. Hyper real. The day Neddy broke his leg and how he'd screamed in agony, how the doctors had given him pain killers and he'd calmed down to just a whimper and how awed she'd been, how she vowed then and htere that one day she'd be a doctor too. Saying out loud for the first time that she was gay and not ashamed of it, saying it to her own fifteen year old reflection in the mirror and reassuring herself it was going to be ok. When Marceline had told her the test was positive, she was pregnant and they were going to be parents. That terrible day when the twins had only been a little over a year old, looking down and feeling like she was going to faint because that was blood and she was only seven weeks gone and she didn't need the medical degree to know what was happening; it had taken four attempts for her to get pregnant at all and she was losing her baby. And now standing in the elevator willing it to go faster and let her down to the accident and emergency department so she could see for herself and still the glacial terror filling her limbs.
The words echoed around the inside of her head like ghosts; car accident, your partner and children. They were only a couple of blocks away from the hospital when it happened and without her usual logical detachment to keep her grounded Bonnie found it all too easy to slip back into the long habits of her childhood; she sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Virgin Mary for the single small mercy of not having to get across town to the other hospital like she had the day Marcy fainted.
Finally the elevator shuddered to a halt. Bonnie was tripping forward into the corridor before the doors were even fully open and hurrying forward, ignoring the stares and mutters from the people on her periphery. They didn't matter, they barely even existed to her. Only Marcy and the kids mattered. She needed to know what had happened.
A&E was plenty busy and disorientating. Bonnie spun on her heel, staring around wildly for any sign of where the four people who made up her whole world had gone. A small hand took hers and she whirled down to hug her child before she even knew which one it was.
"Mummy's got blood on her." Philip sobbed uncontrollably as he buried his face in her shoulder. "Mama, make her better. I shouted and it was my fault."
"Show me where she is." Bonnie replied shakily. He hiccuped a couple of times and wiped his nose against her shoulder before taking her hand and tugging her away in the direction of a screened off cubicle. With her heart in her mouth Bonnie stepped around the screen and came face to face with a doctor she didn't recognise.
"Sarah Armstrong, I'm the trauma consultant on call today. Relax, everything's fine. Your partner is just getting cleaned up by one of our nurses and you can take her home. She has a small abrasion to the left shoulder from her seat belt, nothing's broken."
Bonnie nodded and replied with something that sounded medical and responsible to the small part of her brain still working, but she was looking over the heavyset woman's shoulder to the examination bed behind her where her daughters sat. Dr Armstrong caught her gaze and hurried to reassure her.
"All three kids are fine too, not a scratch between them. Lucky she was driving a Volvo and hit the breaks when she did or this might have ended much worse."
"MAMA!" Sofia yelled when she looked around and caught sight of Bonnie. And then all three kids were wrapped in her arms without her remembering how and the terror was turning to relief and an almost overwhelming urge to laugh and cry at the same time.
"Are you mad at us?" Ingrid whispered softly when Bonnie didn't let go of them, just kept on hugging them tightly to herself.
"No, sweetheart. I love you all so much and I was really scared when I heard there'd been an accident. What happened?"
"Um, I dunno. Mummy drived into a truck."
"She just... Drove into a truck? Are you sure?"
"Yep. And Philip got scared and yelled but I didn't cause I'm a big girl."
"Looks like a truck ran right through a red light and went into the side of your car." Armstrong informed her with a small smile for Ingrid's confusion. "From what she said it hit just in front of the driver's seat so your partner took the brunt of the impact. She'd have been completely broadsided instead of just taking a glancing blow if she hadn't acted as quickly as she did."
Her throat was dry, Bonnie realised. Suddenly she was thirsty and exhausted and all she wanted was to wrap the people she loved into a blanket and hold them close. Ingrid was talking again and the doctor was saying something and Bonnie just nodded. With the adrenaline wearing off and a real crisis averted she realised she was sliding into shock for the second time in just over a month. First the incident with Violet, now this. It was getting harder and harder to stop everyone from hurting themselves and that terrified her almost as much as the phone call telling her there'd been as accident had. And then the most incredible, familiar arms were wrapping around her and Bonnie didn't even need to hear her voice to know it was Marcy, safe and relatively unhurt. She clung on tightly, just recommitting every single sensation of having her partner in her arms to memory.
"I thought something terrible happened." Bonnie whispered over the reassuring thump of Marcy's heart loud in her ear where she had her head pressed against the other woman's chest.
"I'm ok, babe. The kids are ok. The car's really not ok but that doesn't matter. They said we can go home since it was just a small tear on my shoulder. Come on, let's go home." Marcy murmured in reply. Her voice was almost completely normal, probably no one else would have noticed the tiny waver in her words that gave away her own terror.
It was a squeeze to fit all five of them into the Tesla but the kids were all quite subdued still and it wasn't all that far to drive home. Philip especially barely spoke a word, even when Ina asked him if he was sad and prodded his knee. Everyone was exhausted by the time they were home, it was a quiet evening of TV and takeout because there was no way Marcy was going to cook when she felt like she was about to collapse. Finally Sofia's bedtime rolled around and the twins didn't even complain when they were put to bed earlier than usual. Bonnie finished tucking Ingrid in with an extra close hug and a whispered promise that they'd be right there if she needed anything in the night. She'd expected to meet Marcy out in the hall but her partner was still talking to Philip in a low voice so Bonnie simply leaned in the doorway and waited.
"You were so brave today, little man. I'm so sorry that it got scary, sorry I didn't see the truck sooner. Thank you for yelling and getting my attention like you did, you were a hero. But you understand it was the man in the truck's fault for ignoring the traffic lights, yeah?"
"Uh-huh. Mummy, the lady said I didn't tell you quick enough."
"What lady, darling?"
"The nice lady. She got hair like you and she likes to talk to me. She said to be careful."
"You mean the nice doctor at the hospital who fixed my hurt shoulder? She had dark hair too but hers was much shorter, are you sure-"
"Not the doctor, Mummy. The nie mirror lady! She said!"
"Philip, is this like Clarence again? Is the nice lady a special friend who only talks to you?"
"She only came today because of the car, she lives in the mirror where Mama makes her face pretty. She saw the truck."
"So the nice lady was the one who saw the truck and she told you to tell me?"
"Yeah. Mummy, where's Mr Bat?"
"He's right here, darling. I'm gonna go and let you sleep now, ok? But we're right downstairs if you need anything, you can always come in with us if you have a nightmare or you feel scared, ok? I love you so much, my little man. You mean the whole world to me. Can I get a goodnight kiss?"
"Night night, Mummy."
"Night night, Philip. Sweet dreams."
It was two very subdued adults who snuggled up together on the sofa that evening. Something was on Marcy's mind and Bonnie got the feeling she was going to take a while to process her near-death experience. She sympathised, it had felt totally unreal when she realised that Dr King had been legitimately planning to murder her that night five years ago, it would take some time to sink in for Marceline especially since she was full of unresolved issues about death.
"Philip's seeing a new ghost." Marcy finally muttered.
"Imagining a new ghost." Bonnie corrected her automatically.
"I want to agree with you, but I don't. He's seeing a ghost."
"Marcy, come on. Let's not have this same argument all over again, not tonight. Can't we just snuggle and watch whatever crap is on TV and just be glad nobody was seriously hurt?"
"He was putting makeup on the mirror on your vanity today. He said he was making her pretty. And he said the same lady told him to tell me about the truck. Bon, you know how you made sure the kids all understand German?"
"He shouted it in German?"
"No. He shouted it in Gujarati. I'd swear it on my mother's grave, babe, he said 'atakava'. That means 'stop'. He warned me to stop driving in a language he doesn't even speak."
Bonnie managed not to sigh out loud but it was a close thing. As overcome with relief as she was there were limits. And it sounded like Marceline was convinced their son was haunted by a ghost that spoke Gujarati which felt just a bit too convenient to the redhead.
"So what are you trying to say?" she asked as carefully as she could.
"My mother's spirit is reaching out to him. Don't! Don't you dare tell me it's bullshit or scientifically impossible or whatever. How else do you explain him talking to a woman in the old mirror that I inherited from my mother, and then later the same day warning me about an approaching danger in a language he doesn't speak but that I do? How could he have possibly known that word?" Marcy asked. She pulled out of Bonnie's arms and backed away, unwilling to process even the idea of criticism.
"You said it yourself, he doesn't speak Gujarati. And you do, and you just spoke it to an old woman at the supermarket before the accident. I think the two things got mixed up in your memory and because you had a shock your brain interpreted it as him speaking another language when he probably just screamed or something. I think you need to rest and recover before you start jumping to any conclusions about what happened." Bonnie replied as gently as she could. Marcy didn't reply, she sighed as she was tugged back into a hug and they resumed trying to pretend the whole day hadn't happened. She was perfectly willing to fall asleep wrapped in her partner's arms that night but she didn't forget what had happened and she knew she wasn't going to change her mind just as completely as she knew that Bonnie didn't believe her.
...
"Ok, I've gotta go to work. Are you gonna be alright with the kids today?"
"We'll be fine, my shoulder is sore and I'm tired but I'll cope."
It took a surprising amount of strength to kiss Marcy goodbye and go to work the next day. Bonnie was worried about her, torn between her natural tendency towards overworking herself and wanting to stay home with the family. But luckily from her perspective, unluckily for Marceline, a familiar car was pulling up outside the house as she was about to unlock her own vehicle.
"Bonnibel, how is she?"
"Morning, Hunson. Marcy's fine, the kids are fine. Did you bring the whole house?" she replied with a wry smile when he began pulling bags and boxes from the back seat.
"Just a few things to help. I know how she gets, she'll be trying to climb the roof to fix the guttering with only one hand if someone doesn't keep an eye on her."
"Bonnie, tell me you did not call my father." Marceline interrupted from the doorway.
"What are you doing out of bed? You have a broken shoulder, you need to rest!" Hunson replied before the redhead could, hurrying forwards and taking Sofia out of her arms with one hand while he tried to balance half of his bags and boxes with the other.
"I'm just bruised, Daddy! Honestly, you didn't need to come all this way-"
"Didn't need to but I wanted to make sure you were ok. Oh and Theresa said she'll drop by after the lunchtime rush with some cakes and sandwiches so no need for you to worry yourself about cooking. Come on inside, you can't be walking around all over the place with broken limbs!"
"Not broken, just bruised." Marcy sighed to nobody since her father was already inside the house arranging sofa cushions and directing the twins to help bring in the bags he'd left by the car. She turned to glare at her partner instead but Bonnie had retreated to the relative safety of her car and managed to escape out onto the road before she could be accused of overreacting. Yes Hunson could be hard to handle and annoying, Marceline definitely got her stubborn streak from him, but he absolutely wouldn't let her do anything too strenuous while her shoulder was still recovering. It had been the best compromise Bonnie could think of. She was still feeling a little guilty about springing a surprise visit from her father on Marcy though, as good as their relationship was these days she'd probably have preferred Simon to come over instead. But it was too far to ask the older man to come first thing in the morning, he wasn't in the best health either. Bonnie was still worrying about it as she parked the car at work and it took her a moment to register that someone was speaking to her.
"Morning, Dr Sugar. How are the family doing?"
It was the same heavyset doctor from the emergency department, Bonnie had already forgotten her name.
"Oh, good morning. They're fine, thanks. The kids didn't stay in their own beds last night but that's to be expected. Um, thank you for looking after them yesterday."
"It's Dr Armstrong." the other woman provided with a knowing smile. "You'd forgotten, I understand. If it was my girlfriend who'd totalled the car with the kids in it I'd have been in shock, too. Tell them I was asking after them, ok?"
She waved and made her way to the side entrance while Bonnie headed to the elevators and up to her own department. It was an unusually slow morning, between a couple of consultations that were either straightforward enough to be short or cancelled at the last minute the redhead found herself with a surprisingly long lunch break. She was glad for the excuse to get outside into the hospital's small memorial garden. It was stiflingly hot inside even with the windows open and the fans blowing. What Bonnie didn't appreciate was the hazy peace being shattered by the roar of an engine. She looked up to scan the staff car park, wondering who the hell was making all the noise, and found herself looking at Dr Armstrong again. This time though the other woman was in bike leathers and had her arms locked tight around the waist of an unmistakably female rider as they tore out onto the main road.
"Lyds, do you know a Dr Armstrong down in A&E?" Bonnie asked once she was back to her own department ten minutes later. "Tall, kinda... thick looking? Not like, dumb. Just... you know. Big. Rides a motorbike, short dark hair."
"Oh, you met Sarah?" Lydia replied with her eyes sparkling. "Yeah, I know her. She only started a few weeks ago. Yeah, she usually rides amotorcycle, she only does half-days because her son's still really small. I thought you two might hit it off."
"And why would you think that?"
"You're both fitness freaks who are married with kids and are about the same age. And you're both doctors."
"No way is that woman a fitness freak. Her arms are huge." Bonnie scowled. She didn't want to admit that Lydia was pretty much right about everything else.
"She's not as into cardio as you. But she is a former champion weightlifter, she gave me some awesome tips on how to tone up my butt. And, that's not all you've got in common y'know." Lydia finished, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "She bats on Team Ellen, if you know what I mean."
"Thanks Lyds but I'm not automatically best buds with every lesbian on the planet. There are a lot of us."
So, Dr Sarah Armstrong was a muscular, butch biker-dyke who'd seen her emotional and panicking about her family yesterday. Bonnibel could already feel a distinct bad opinion forming in her mind. One thing she absolutely couldn't abide was competition. Small mercies though; everyone was mostly unhurt, Marcy must be feeling better if she'd already moved on to some imagined drama involving the ghost of her dead mother and the only real casualty was Bonnie's ego. If it took her looking like a weak mess in front of some big muscly lesbian cliche then she'd still count that as a win and be thankful about it.
Once safely enclosed within her office Bonnie took a steadying breath and unlocked the bottom drawer of her desk. That drawer contained secrets, things she couldn't keep at home for whatever reason. This was one of them, one of the ones she was most ashamed of. Because if she revealed it to Marceline she could at best expect to be mercilessly teased about it and at worst... No, it was easier to just keep it at work which was where she used it to the majority of the time anyway. She reverently lifted out the worn string of wooden rosary beads that had been passed down from her grandmother and with the grace trained into her since childhood she began to recite the Lord's Prayer silently as the first bead slid through her fingers. Bonnie didn't believe, not in her heart of hearts, but she needed to do something to find a sense of closure and giving thanks in a habit established so early in her life had always proved to be the best way to do it. Sometimes a patient pulled through when she hadn't expected them to and she wanted to acknowledge it in some way, sometimes a diagnosis blindsided her or found a weak link in her professional armour and left an emotional wound. As amazing as logic and science were they didn't allow any room for the messy side of human emotion and Bonnibel wasn't stupid enough to pretend she didn't need that sometimes. Not anymore, not since the twins. By the third Hail Mary Bonnie was murmuring the words out loud to herself as she had so many times in the past and falling back into the meditation-like calm that always fell across her mind when she allowed herself a moment of ritual thanks.
"Gegrüßet seist du Maria, voll der Gnade..."