AN: Okay, so my hectic week of activities for the summer is finally at its end. No more worries. For the next two weeks, I should be able to update every single day like I would like. Unfortunately, once school starts, I can't make much promises. I'll update as much as I can, but with so much to worry about with my work and colleges and the lovely attributes of being a senior in high school taking 5 AP classes, I'm not sure how often I will be able to update. But, for now, I can cheer and have fun because I have 14 days to continue this story unimpeded by school! Thanks again to my lovely reviewers! I'll never get tired of hearing from you all and writing back!
Seraphyn: Haha. So very glad to have dear Edward back too! It definitely doesn't feel the same without him there. Fights are a pretty big possibility.
Danamarin: Glad you liked it. I tried to put some light-heartedness into this chapter. Sometimes Bella needs a break from drama, even for a moment. She IS human after all.
Ruby Red 17: Aw. Well, thanks so much for reviewing like you have already. I hope that you get a chance to at least continue reading. I know how it is, not having internet access, considering I crash computers quite frequently and go without for awhile while that gets repaired. Unfortunately, I won't be able to update as often once September starts anyway, since I'll be off to school once more, carrying half my weight in text books. But I will try to update as much as I possibly can between sleepless nights of homework. Thanks for being such a lovely reviewer!
Midnight 1987: Haha. Thanks for the review. Had me laughing and smiling and you are pretty dang awesome for doing that!
Asquared91: once again joins you in the happy dance Glad to have him back too! I'm a picky eater for the most part and stick to what I know, and Mexican food happened to be something that was on the menu amidst at these different entrees that, quite frankly, frightened me all the more. But it's a mistake I never again shall make, thank the Lord. Thanks for reviewing like you do! You rock just as much!
Liz: Completely understandable. With two brothers myself, privacy is something that I have to maintain with constant vigilance if I don't want my stories, information, etc to be ruined entirely. Glad that you liked the chapter. I thought I would try something new with the dream or, rather, the nightmare. Very nice to see that you enjoyed it! Thanks again for the review!
Iamcool511: Haha. It's so fun to see all of you glad to have Edward back. Can't say I blame you. I had my fair share of excitement when I began typing his lovely entrance. Good ol' Zane. Unfortunately, he shall not be gone for quite some time, but I can say that there shall be more character development with him as the story progresses.
Bright Green Eyes: I'm just as ecstatic to have Edward back, believe me. ;P Haha. There will be lots of talking this chapter, and further clarifications in the next few. I just thought I would indulge myself and allow Edward and Bella a nice happy reunion before they dive headfirst back into the drama. Thanks for the review!
Andie Wolf: Aw… your comments make me smile. blushes with modesty It's always nice to hear from you guys what you think, and your complimentary reviews make this experience so very worth it!
Chopperchick123: Haha. I must agree with you on the aggressive part. Especially when it's added in with Edward. Makes everything all the more exciting and enjoyable, I think. It is good to know you like my portrayal of Alice. I wanted to add more dimension to her character, especially since she is my second favorite vampire, next to Edward who's number one, of course. I'm sure that's not much of a surprise. P No problem about the randomness. Those who know me know I have my random spurts of spontaneity as well.
PageGirl: Aw… thanks so much for your review. I always take great pleasure in welcoming a new reviewer and seeing I have a new person who likes what I'm doing. It's also such a relief to hear that you think my plot to be unique. I was trying so hard to avoid the clichés with this one, and I wonder sometimes if I stray towards the typical plotlines of many stories already. Thanks for the appreciation on the chapter lengths. I try to make them long, since that's how Stephenie did it, but also because it's hard to stop once I begin because I love these characters so much and I get lost in it all far too often than I should. Thanks for the review!
Angelalways17: First of all, I must say… right on to drama queens! Then, I must say… thank you very much for your lovely review! Well, as I said above, my week of finding time to update is finally at its end. After this, I should be completely fine, at least until school starts in 2 weeks. Yuck. But at least for the time being I can update asap every single day. Yay! Glad you liked the fluff. I can't resist myself. When Edward's with Bella, it just seems appropriate, especially because if I were with Edward alone in his room like that…. Haha… I'll spare you my little fantasies…
Rebel.angel.09: Of course the dream shall be explained later on. I can't leave you lovely people hanging like that! ) Thanks for the words of the trip. As nice as it went though, I think the best part is that I get more time to think and write and update. Yay! Thanks again for reviewing!
Rin09: Aw… I share your joy completely with Edward's arrival back. It's so hard writing without him there, since I love Edward so very much. Haha. I get way too into things, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I do assure you the dream shall have its significance. Just as I believe Bella's dreams when Stephenie writes them hold some importance to the story, so does this dream. And it shall be explained in due time, I promise. Thanks for your reviews! You are completely awesome!
StupidShinyVolvoOwner: Thanks for the review! I love that you love it!
10.
The next day I woke up to the sun rays coming through the window, more like the wall, Edward's room. The blanket draped around me now sat in a balled up heap at the foot of the couch. Again, the aroma of food cooking below had drifted upstairs so that I could smell it, inviting me to join the rest of the family downstairs. Why couldn't everyday be like this?
"Bella, you're up." Edward grinned, checking in on me and standing the doorframe. "Ready for some food?"
"How late did I sleep in?" I rubbed my head, knowing that the sun shouldn't be this perky if I woke up at the appropriate time.
"It's almost noon."
"Noon!" I jumped up. "Edward, what about…"
"Esme called in to explain that you had been extremely stressed lately, and that she thought you were in desperate need of some time to relax."
"Sounds like something Esme might say," I remarked. "But didn't they wonder why Esme was calling, instead of Charlie."
"She just explained that Charlie is currently preoccupied with all his work, and that he didn't want you staying alone so he sent you to stay with us for the day."
"And the school believed that?"
"It is a believable story, I think." Edward laughed. "Esme did use an extremely convincing voice and…"
"So basically she just stunned the school administration with her voice so that they merely nodded to agree to all her claims?"
"I think you have the picture pretty accurate," Edward nodded and we both laughed. "See, no worries, Bella. We have everything figured out. You'll be safe with us."
"Thanks," I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Especially for coming back when you did. I hate having you away for so long."
"You weren't the only one, you know." Edward put his arm around me as we descended the staircase. "While I was away, I worried so much over you. I hated to think that you might get hurt with me gone, even though I trust Alice to watch out for you."
"She did a good job," I replied. "But nothing beats having you there, Edward."
"Good, that's what I want to hear." Edward grinned, pulling me closer to him. "I would not have it any other way."
"I see that Bella's decided to join the conscious world once more," Esme's voice filled with laughter as more plates piled atop the table, more so than before. "It's good that you slept in though. It's been rough for us all lately."
My breakfast went by without much worry. It seemed impossible to think of anything not related to scrambled eggs, omelets, waffles, and French toast as I came to realize how hungry I had gotten these past few days. I wasn't sure how I would explain to Charlie my sudden weight gain after consuming twice my weight in breakfast goods, but the only secondary thought to that question was me asking Alice to pass the syrup.
"You think you ate enough?" Edward asked when I stood up.
"Well, unless you want me to take a bite out of the kitchen table…"
"How about we go for a walk?" Edward suggested, directing me towards the front door.
"Any reason why you want to venture out into the bright world right now?"
"No one can see us from here," the sun glinted off of his body when the rays hit him. "And it gives us some privacy to talk, without my family hearing us inside."
"Alright," I nodded and we walked around the house to the forest in the back. "I thought no forests for me anymore?"
"We're still too close to the house for anyone, or anything, to come near," we entered into the forest, the shadows causing my recently glowing boyfriend to appear far more normal to the average person. "If there was one thing that I cannot regret during my absence, Bella, it is that I was able to talk with Carlisle."
"Alice said that would help you a lot."
"And it does," Edward agreed. "I told him about how I felt. About Zane and the little girl and us. I thought we would have to leave after that, but Carlisle assures we will be fine. But… Bella, can't you at least see what that means… doing that to a little girl?"
"Of course, but you can't help…"
"The thing is, Bella, I can." Edward frowned. "There's always a choice, and Carlisle constantly reminds us that there is. It might not always be easy, but the choice is there, and I was too weak to stop…" Edward shook his head, as if banishing the thought. "But Bella, I get so afraid for you. I've never felt so secure and yet so unstable at the same time. With you, it seems like this existence of mine just might make sense, and yet at the same time I'm so confused I don't know where I'll be the next day…"
"Welcome to the real world," I replied, knowing I would feel like a Hallmark card as I continued. "Edward, no one ever knows what tomorrow will bring. But the thing about love is that it doesn't matter. The one certain thing is love."
"I can't afford for anything to happen to you, Bella." Edward's hand pressed against my cheek, and I shivered from his cold touch. "You're everything to me now. I can't have any harm come your way. Not from Zane or Jasper or me…"
"Edward, I trust you."
"Sometimes I wonder how you possibly can…"
"Maybe it's love or the alluring effect your vampire whims have on me," I batted my eyes at him. "Whichever it is, I trust you Edward. I hope that's not too hard of a concept. I hope you trust me just as much."
"Alice told me about Zane, and I can't stand having him here." Edward told me, growing sullen once more. "He wants you, Bella, whether you're willing or not, and we've already seen what he's capable of doing."
"I just want to wipe away that smugness off his face," my own hands went into fists. "He looks at me so possessively. As if he already owns me and there's nothing anyone can do about it."
"He's never going near you again," Edward declared. "As long as I'm around…"
"So you're going to stay?" I smiled at the thought.
"Carlisle sees no reason for us to leave…"
"Oh, Edward, how can we be sad at hearing something like that!" I hugged him, grinning. "This whole time I've been trying to imagine life without you, and I can't. I was so worried that you would leave and I'd never see you again. And staying in your room, putting some of my own things in there… that's how I want life to be from now on. I don't want it any other way. I want it to be like that forever…"
"Bella, you'll have to move back with Charlie." Edward reminded, holding my hands. "He's your dad, and has legal guardianship over you. Besides, I'll be by your side over there, so it won't really matter where we are."
"Your house was getting kinda cozy to me," I commented. "And those breakfasts… you have a well fed piece of ham right here, you know."
"You aren't a pig, Bella." Edward smiled and closed his eyes, placing his cheek against mine. "I wouldn't be in love with a pig…"
"Do you know of another tasty morsel that compares to this piece of meat, then?"
"You know, with all this reference to food and you, Bella, I might think of having my own bit of breakfast…"
"Technically it's lunch time."
"How about an afternoon snack?"
"Only if you leave some to sit around for three days…"
"Bella," our playful jesting ended when Edward figured out my intentions. "No."
"Can't blame a girl for trying," I shrugged. "Did Alice tell you about my dream?"
"Something about anyone kissing you, especially Zane, does not settle well with me." Edward looked down at me and kissed me softly. "No. These lips aren't for anyone else."
"Perhaps I should wear a sign saying they're reserved for the handsome, deathly appealing…" I suggested before he leaned in for another kiss.
"If Zane comes within fifty feet of you, I'll send him flying another fifty." Edward nodded, confirming his statement. "No one's going to harm you Bella."
"Good to know," I responded. "So, is Jasper alright?"
"After the first twenty-four hours, he had settled down some. Carlisle just explained to him that those kinds of things have to be avoided at all costs. Jasper wasn't so willing to listen, but he seemed genuinely sorry for his actions before we left. I think listening to Alice now will do him more good, to tell you the truth. She was always the one he considered listening to anyway."
"I can't blame him, though. When I was with Alice, she had quite a bit to say to me as well."
"Really? Like what?" Though he asked, I could tell in his tone that he already knew the answer.
"She warned me against my decision to want to be a vampire…"
"And what did you think about it?"
"She made some good points," I admitted. "But I still want to do it."
"Bella…"
"I wouldn't be lonely… because you would be here." I began. "And I don't care about forever because, Edward, it's a forever with you. How could I ever object to something like that?"
"Bella, you deserve to live."
"It's my life, Edward, and I deserve to choose what I want to do with it. Even if that means giving it up to be a vampire with you."
"Bella…" he closed his eyes, looking thoroughly miserable.
"I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear," I replied. "Some guys want to hear their girlfriends say they're willing to spend forever with them. I guess for some girls, they have to feel guilty for ever wanting something like that…"
"Don't feel guilty, Bella." Edward opened his eyes, pleading gently. "I just hate that this is where we stand."
"I don't get it though, Edward. Don't you want this too? It's forever… the two of us… together…"
"Do you think I don't want that?" Edward asked. "That there's not a moment that goes by where I fear there will be a time when you won't be there and I'll be left here alone? I feel so selfish then. So selfish that I could ever want to doom you to this life. To know that I took the flush out of your cheeks and stopped your heart from beating. Bella, I can't do that. The greatest thing I can give you is your life. Can't you see that?"
"Alice told me the same thing," I remembered. "But, Edward, my life isn't anything without your love in it."
"Bella, you'll always have my love. No matter where you end up. My love will be with you until the day you die."
"No!" I shook my head, shouting. "No, Edward, I am not going to live my life, knowing that each passing day brings me closer to the day that…" tears fell at the mere thought that I couldn't even say. "Edward, you don't want to be selfish or guilty, and neither do I. How selfish can a person get, to allow the person they love watch them grow farther away with every moment? To have me live my life and grow old and possibly fall in love with someone else to have a family and kids and know that you'll never have that? Edward, I'd rather not live at all."
"I'm sorry this is where we're at right now."
"Don't be. This needs to be discussed and decided upon eventually. I don't have forever to wait for an answer."
"Bella, you've had your answer all along. I don't know why you still ask the question."
"You can be the most infuriating person!" I accused. "But, then again, I can be the most stubborn girl you'll find in the next few centuries. So why can't we put aside our differences and make this work…"
"Because every second with me is a second where you face the threat of death?"
"It could work so nicely, Edward, considering I am willing to face death."
"Bella, you don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes, Edward, I think I do."
"Why can't we just settle for what we have right now? Why can't it just be like this?"
"Because if we keep it like it is now, I am going to get old and wrinkly until I'm keeping company with the worms." I shuddered, acknowledging my current fate and not liking it one bit. "And, like you said, it would just be settling. Why settle something like that?"
"I'll never live through dooming you to this life, Bella."
"Well, lucky for you, you don't really have a life to live through. And it's not my doom, to be a vampire. That's only the beginning. It's only the dawn of a new life…"
"Bella, this is no life."
"How can you ever say something like that?"
"Because it's the truth," Edward's voice was firm. "How many of us do you think willingly want to be like this? Not many kids growing up as humans told their class they wanted to grow up to be a vampire. Bella, we missed out on something that might very well be the most important thing to life. How can someone live when there is no end?"
"What if a person doesn't want any end?" I questioned. "Our love… there shouldn't be an end to it. That wouldn't give it the justice. Don't you think?"
"Bella, you can offer the world something. Me, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie… none of us can do that. As vampires, we don't give anything. We take away life. We destroy life."
"That's not true," I shook my head. "What about Carlisle? What about everything he's done? He's a doctor. He saves lives. He helps others. How could you ever say he's not offering something to the world, or that none of you ever could?"
"I can't, Bella." Edward looked so helpless. "I just can't do this."
"Someday, maybe?"
"I don't know," Edward's shoulders fell. "Just not right now."
"Alright, then." I stood on my toes to kiss him. He closed his eyes, sighing. "But do remember, Edward, that I don't have forever to wait."
(AN: I would put a line here, but for some reason this computer is malfunctioning and I haven't been able to insert line breaks or anything in here for quite some time. Just thought I would explain the sudden change of scenery... etc... so you're all not confused. Sorry about that.)
"You alright?" Alice leaned in the doorway of Edward's room as I continued to pack my things. "It looks like someone you loved just died."
"In a way, I guess something did." I wiped my eyes that were still swollen from tears. "Alice, do you remember your vision of me being a vampire?"
"Yes."
"Do you think it will ever come true?"
"Bella…"
"No, really, Alice, I need to know. How old was I? Did it look like something that was close to my age or was I some eighty-year-old granny on my deathbed?"
"You were still young, Bella."
"Edward said he can't change me."
"But you do understand why he can't?"
"As much as I wouldn't like to, I think I do." I nodded. "I get what you both said, about giving me life. None of you ever had it, really, and…"
"I'm glad you get it, Bella."
"But you do understand why I still want to be a vampire, right?"
"Well… as much as I wouldn't like to, I think I do." Alice and I exchanged smiles. "You really are the greatest thing that Edward could possibly have."
"And the same goes for Edward and me," I replied. "I just want to know that someday, hopefully sometime soon, we can pass this point."
"I think you guys will."
"And if you have any visions that give me hope?"
"You'll be the first to know."
"Thank you, Alice. For what you did this week and for listening and talking to me. For everything."
"Like I said, I see what you do for Edward. To me, you're already one of us."
"Blood and working heart and all?"
"Hey, no need to rub that in."
"Well, I'm not the one with superhuman powers," I reminded. "You guys get to move around at high-rate speeds and drive hundreds of miles per hour without a thought of worry… I wish I could have that much certainty in my actions. Half the time I'm unsure if I'll make it down the staircase without falling."
"You've kept your promise so far not to fall down the stairs here."
"Don't jinx me. I still have to do it one more time before I leave to go back to Charlie's."
"How come no home?" Alice asked.
"What do you mean?" I zipped up my bag and looked up.
"Why didn't you say you have to leave to go back home?"
"Oh, I don't know." I shrugged and stood, slinging my bag over my shoulder. "I guess I already consider myself one of you guys too. In my mind, this is already my home."
"You know, for a human, you're not so bad."
"One of the best compliments I've ever received," I smiled and gave her a hug. I was surprised to have it returned. "Thanks, Alice. You've made this whole week tolerable, and you saved my sanity in the process."
"Don't forget, the week's not yet over." Alice told me. "There's still Halloween tomorrow."
"How could I forget?" we both laughed. "It's the one day of the year that doesn't need an explanation for all the abnormal things that are likely to occur."
"Couldn't have put it better any other way."
"What are you two laughing about?" Edward stood at the top of the stairs staring at us in confusion.
"How was your talk with Carlisle again?"
"Don't change the subject, Alice."
"And don't you dare read my thoughts, Edward." Alice warned. "Bella and I were just laughing about Halloween. Have you forgotten about it?"
"Not a chance," Edward responded. "The greatest day of the entire year for most vampires."
"Finally," I said, feeling left out of the conversation. "My first authentic Halloween."
"I called Charlie to tell him we're on our way," Edward told me. "He said that Jessica called. She's having some ball at her house."
"Another dance?" It was surprising that in such a small town, everyone still had reason to party in between the humdrum rain cycle. "You'd think they would have had enough of that with the first school dance. Weird that she would invite me when this whole week she and Lauren have been so hostile."
"Well, you and Edward are still the item of the town." Alice reminded. "Jessica can't risk not inviting you and have half the audience not attend because of that decision."
"We aren't that influential to the teenage population of Forks."
"Actually," Edward rubbed the back of his head with a grin. "Charlie did happen to mention that while you were gone, a lot of students at school called asking how you were doing without me there."
"And we got a few calls here from people that Charlie gave our number to," Alice chimed in.
"Well, so much about that trust factor in the relationship." I remarked light-heartedly.
"I'm sure you didn't really want to hear about all those calls, Bella."
"See, you know me pretty well, Edward Cullen." I grinned and locked arms with him.
"Good," Edward swept me up in his arms, so I guess there would be no wondering if I would keep my promise to Alice not to fall down the stairs. "Because after a year of knowing you, Bella Swan, I would hope that I know that much about you."
"You have no idea how grateful I am that you didn't call me Isabella!" I wrapped my arms around him, thankful to have Edward back.
AN: Okay, for some reason this took a lot out of me to write this chapter. I was going to leave it at the end of the forest talk, but I wanted to end on a happier note. Tomorrow Halloween. Oooooo... loooots of fun with that one! Don't forget to tell me what you think. Those serious talks always take a lot of thinking to type out. Thanks again to my lovely reviewers! I love you all astronomically!