Chapter 10! I never thought I would get this far. But there is still a lot more story to go. This story is going to get a little dark and twisted from this point on.
WARNING: if you don't like to read about blood, alcohol abuse, or self harm, then stop reading this story now.
That's kind of a spoiler for what is going to happen later in the story, but I needed to warn you. Although, I don't know why it would be a problem, but I guess there is some people who just can't read about it. I personally like to see the character struggle, because it adds more realism to a story. People go through bad things all the time, so why shouldn't characters?
CHAPTER 10
The next few days, I don't leave the bed in Christina's guest room. I don't do anything. I refuse to eat, and haven't said a word to anyone. I don't even think. I don't even feel like I am alive anymore. I am just existing in a world of pain and suffering.
Christina has to leave everyday to volunteer as a nurse, leaving me all alone in my own personal hell. Uriah checks on me sometimes, but it doesn't matter. I can't bring myself to respond to his questions, or eat any of the food he brings to me.
One day, when I can't stand the confined apartment, I decide to take a walk. First I shower and change my clothes, because I haven't since I got here. Once I am done, I slowly step out of the door, trying not to let everything overwhelm me. I take a few unsure steps, before breaking into a run. My feet take me to a place I know well.
I stop when I get to the Chasm. The place full of good and bad memories. It always seems to calm me, somehow. I climb down to our secret place where we would sit and talk sometimes. The water sprays my face, churning against the rocks beneath me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Letting out all of my pent up emotions, I scream at the top of my lungs. Tears pour down my face, dripping into the water below my feet. I keep screaming until my throat feels like it is bleeding. My breathes are uneven, and my skin is sticky from my salty tears.
The pain is just too much to bear. I can feel it in my chest, spreading through my body, like knives cutting deep into my skin. I know it is all mental, but it feels so real. I hunch over, my finger nails digging into my thighs. I can't relieve the pain. My body shakes with my sobs as I pound my fist on the rough rock.
I unsteadily stand up, stumbling up the rocks. I need to stop the pain, somehow. I stand at the railing, trying to breathe through my tears. I am trying to figure out what to do when I hear the scrape of shoes on concrete behind me. I spin around, ready to defend myself. But I lose all composure when I see who it is.
Tobias stands a few feet away from me, his body stiff. He stares at me with wide eyes, and I return the look. He is a lot thinner, his hair is messy, and he looks like he is in pain. He probably did something to his shoulder again. He looks so pitiful and weak, I just want to comfort him. But I can't. I have no idea what he would do to me. Seeing him makes me feel like I am being stabbed in the heart.
He slowly approaches me, but with every step he takes, I take one back towards the railing. I start to tremble. I never imagined that I would be scared of Tobias. I never imagined that he would hurt me. Most of all, I never imagined that he would turn into Marcus. Thinking of that just adds to the searing pain in my chest.
He corners me, bringing his face close to mine. I can smell alcohol on his breath. He lifts his hand up, and I instinctively flinch away. He quickly moves his hand away and backs up slightly. I can see the hurt and pain in his deep blue eyes.
"Tris. I need you back. I don't care if you are a liar. I need you," he pleas, his words slurred, tears forming in his eyes. The fact that he just called me a liar isn't helping anything. I just shake my head quickly and try to find a way to escape.
"Tris, I need you. I can't live on my own like this." He gestures to his shoulder angrily. I just shake my head again, tears dripping out if my eyes. He only wants me so I can take care of him?
"Tris, please come back to me," he says as he leans forward and presses his lips to mine, holding me against the wall with his body. At first I forget the current situation, feeling Tobias's lips move against mine. But then he presses closer, squeezing me so tightly that it hurts. I struggle and try to free myself, but he just grabs my wrists, his finger nails digging into my raw skin from where he clawed me a few days before. I start to bleed again, causing me gasp in pain. He takes the chance to deepen the kiss.
This all just disgusts me. Normally, I wouldn't mind kissing Tobias, actually, I love it. But now that he is forcing himself on me, I really don't like it. I use all my strength to get him off of me, but he just digs his nails deeper into my wrists, causing pain to sear up my arms. I whimper, wishing that I could just die right now.
I kick him as hard as I can in the knee, surprising him, letting go of me. I run away as fast as I can, but he almost instantly catches me, throwing me to the ground.
"You are coming home with me, whether you like it or not," he growls, pinning my bloody hands above my head. I choke out a sob, thrashing around. I end up kneeing him in the stomach. His eyes flare with anger, seeming like black pits, just like his father in his fear simulation. He releases my hands momentarily, slapping me across the face. But I don't even try to get away. I just lay in shock, blood and tears soaking my clothes, Tobias breathing roughly above me. He just slapped me. He just slapped me! How dare he?
"You are just like him. You have turned into your father," I hiss hoarsely. That seems to get him out of his stupor. His expression changes from one of rage, to one of sadness and hurt. Using the opportunity, I jump up and sprint back to to Christina's apartment without looking back. By the time I get there, I am in hysterics. I sling open the door, falling to my knees. The pain is excruciating, like nothing I have ever felt before.
Make it stop. Make it stop! I think, dragging myself into the kitchen, searching for anything to stop the pain. It was already bad, but the events with Tobias just made it worse.
I look through the cabinets and refrigerator, when I find some of the different types of alcohol Christina keeps here. I grab all of them and hobble into my room. Flopping down on the bed, I open one of the bottles, disregarding the label, and chug it down. It burns my raw throat. I can feel the pain subsiding, my body filling with warmth. I drink bottle after bottle, until I forget where I am, my vision blurring. I eventually pass out.
I am jolted awake when I hear a shreek, causing me to jump out of bed. I hear glass shattering, booming in my ears. When I hit the ground, something sharp scrapes my skin. I curse under my breath as I scramble out of the tangle of blankets and shards of glass from the bottles. Someone grabs me around the waist, and I tense up, punching any body part I can find. But it isn't Tobias. They have two arms, and are very skinny.
I finally open my eyes, the light blinding me. My head pounds, fresh blood dripping from my arms, cutting trails through the dried blood already there. Christina looms over me, her hair messy, a concerned look on her face.
"What happened? Why did you drink all of my-" I don't hear the rest of what she says because I slam my hands over my ears. Her voice rings in my head, making the throbbing worse. I suddenly feel nauseous, my stomach churning. I vomit all over the comforter and the floor, causing Christina to scream and jump back.
"Ok, I'm not doing anything until get you cleaned up," she says sternly. She helps me up and drags me into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I gasp when I see myself in the mirror. I am bruised and bloody, with dark circles under my eyes. There is a large red hand-shaped mark on my cheek. My hair is a rat's nest, and there is glass shards stuck in my skin of my arms and hands.
I don't let my thoughts drift as I brush my teeth and hair carefully, but it is hard since my hands are bleeding. I don't feel any pain though. Actually, I feel fairly good. Except for my pulsing skull. I hear Christina yelling about how I ruined all of her stuff through the bathroom door while I try to pick out some of the sharp glass pieces. I just make the bleeding worse, so I decide to ask Christina for help. I sulk out into the living room, where Christina is complaining to Uriah. When did he get here?
I try to ask for their help, but my words just come out as a high-pitched squeal. I guess I lost my voice. I don't let myself remember how. I just push all thoughts out of my mind.
"Oh my gosh, Tris, what happened?" Uriah runs to me, gently taking my hand and turning it to examine my arms and lightly touching my cheek. It feels strange to be touched like this, instead of the rough way Tobias has the past few days. Tears slip out of my eyes as the memories come flowing into my mind, like a burst dam.
I point to my mouth and shake my head, trying to explain that I can't talk. I guess he understands, because he nods and brings me over to the couch.
"Christina, get something to help get this glass out of her arms." He kneels in front of me, wiping the tears from my face. After a while, Christina comes back with two pairs of tweezers and a first-aid kit. Together, they carefully pulled out every piece of glass, no one saying anything. It takes a while, but I don't mind. I don't feel anything, just the numbness of no particular feeling. Once they finish, they clean up my arms and hands and wrap them in thick white bandages.
Christina gives me some pain pills, but I refuse them. I feel fine. I lay on the couch as Uriah and Christina clean up my room, talking about me.
"Do you thing it was it Tobias again?" I hear Uriah ask.
"It could have been Peter." Christina replies.
"I doubt it."
"I just can't understand why Tobias would do that to her. Why did he just suddenly go off on her about something silly that happened a long time ago?"
"It could just be pent up emotions from everything that is happening, and has happened" he replies.
"But if it was, why would he attack her again?"
"I don't know, but I don't trust him. He could turn into his father, and I don't want that to happen to Tris." More tears leak through my closed eyes. Uriah is right. I shouldn't trust Tobias anymore. He could lure me in and lock me up to keep as his own little punching bag, or worse. The thought sends shivers through my body. How could we end up like that? I had spent the past months trying to piece my life back together, to only have it blown apart again. But are the pieces are too broken to fix again? Or is there a chance that they will fit back together perfectly?
I don't know if it is even possible for me to make you people hate me more. I am going to get a lot of hate about this chapter. The next chapter will be Tobias's POV of this one. I am going to attempt to change the picture for this story to the one I drew of Tris, but I don't know if it will work. I tried to change it on my other story, All I Hear Is Nothing, but it never did. DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!