By the time, Anarchy, Anna, Alice, whatever she wanted to call herself, had gotten bored she had lost count five times. Each time she started again from nine hundred and ninety nine.
Which was why Light had muted the sound. L would have compiled if he wasn't as sick of hearing 'what number was I up to?' over and over as Light was.
L was biting his thumb, thinking over the way Anarchy had taken to the questioning. The Task Force hadn't seemed surprised by the answers she had given, they were frustrated but resigned. It was how they had expected Anarchy to act.
But that wasn't how she had acted when he contacted her. The public face of Anarchy was an insane serial killer without a plan, the one he had spoken to had a plan and the ghost of insanity. She was playing with them, no, she was giving them what they expected.
"I know that look." Light watched L carefully. "What are you planning Ryuzaki? Dot try and deny it, I've been chained to you long enough to know when you're planning something." L sighed. This was getting frustrating. Oh for the days he could do whatever he wanted and no one questioned it.
"Sh, Light-kun." He held a finger over the other boy's lips, ignoring the annoyed look that crossed his face. "I'm testing a theory."
"Good morning Anar-" L was cut off swiftly.
"Call me Alice or questions go unanswered. Or worse, I lie more than you." Alice turned her head in what she thought was the direction of the camera. "Is Kira-face watching you?"
"Yes, Light-kun is observing the interview. Where is the weapon, Alice?"
"L, the weapon is safe. Light Bulb, is being chained to 'the world's best detective' as annoying as I imagine?"
"First Kira-face, Now Light Bulb? Is he energy efficient?" Hel mocked a sad voice. "Do you not love me enough to give me a nickname?"
"You are not questioning Light-kun." The distorted voice interrupted the technically non-existent conversation. "Where is it? Safe from whom?"
"Yes I am. And does it matter? To both questions."
"How can I know you're not going to harm anyone if I don't have the weapon?"
"Because if you don't have it then neither does Kira-face Light Bulb... what was the suffix..."
"San?" The voice offered.
"That's it. Thanks Alison. If you don't have it then Kira-face Light Bulb-san doesn't have it."
"I see. Could you please stop the bastardisation of my alias?"
"Would you prefer Elly-Welly?" Alice offered. The voice was silent. "Fine, be that way. What do I have to do to get out of here? Is there some kind of good behaviour plan? Do you have a Kira suspect? I can tell you if he or she is in possession of the weapon ." Alice sighed. "Please, I'm so bored. I'm going to start singing soon. Or telling stories. Or both. No one wants that."
"Maybe." L allowed.
"Oh no. No, don't say that. Everyone who ever said that meant no." When there was not response from L Alice sighed. "What do you call a dear with no eyes?"
"What?" Alice smirked.
"No idea."
"That's horrible."
"What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs?"
"I'm going to regent this. What?"
"Still no idea." Hel groaned. "What do you call a dear with no eyes, no legs, and a bleeding gash on its side?"
"Go on then."
"Still no bloody idea."
"Okay. You will never repeat that joke in my presence again." Hel paused. "In fact, let's just not have you do any more jokes from now on." Alice didn't answer, just smiled wider. "I hate you sometimes."
"Ryuzaki, I think you broke her." Matsuda watched Anarchy as she sang bad songs, badly enough to make them even worse.
"I think he's right." Light agreed. "Solitary isn't good for people. When they're blinded it's even worse."
"I'm so happy, I can barely breath. Puppy dogs and sugar frogs and kittens baby teeth... Arh feck, I forgot the words. A little help from the cheap seats?"
"If we let you out on conditions, would you accept?" L watched as the girl conserved, tilting her head to the side as much as the bindings allowed.
"Those aren't the words, I know that. Would one of those conditions be getting out of the semi-bondage? And actual food? There are only so many protein shakes a girl can drink."
"You would be brought into the headquarters. You would be given a room, and food. Also allowed to aid in the investigation when required." L ignored the outcry from the task force.
"Two things. One, am I allowed books and internet access? And two, what's the catch."
"I want the weapon."
"And how did I know you were going to say that?" The girl sighed, tilting her head to the side and thinking – or, listening? – for a moment. "I can arrange for you to see the Guardian – really, guardian? Eh, it'll do – and she can explain the rest. No one else though. And the weapon doesn't leave her position."
"You have to be completely honest." L was oblivious to the looks he was being given.
"When have I ever lied to you? Hm, Elliot? When have I ever told a lie? I'll help you, just stick to the conditions and stop with the creepy bondage. And yes, if you chain yourself to me I will void our spoken agreement and use everything I know about you to destroy your reputation. Oh, and if Light Bulb gets his memory back then pinkie promise I'll tell you." She waved her hand for effect.
"You can't do this Ryuzaki, she's insane. She'll kill us the first chance she gets."
"She isn't as insane as you think." To the elder Yagami's surprise it was his son who responded. "She seems to have decided that half truths get the desired effect more than lies."
"She's schizophrenic." L elaborated. "She places abnormal significance on trust. She sees lies as breaking that trust."
"So, she won't lie to us?" Mogi asked slowly.
"Not if we don't lie to her." L confirmed.
"So, how does it feel to be let free after fourteen days of blackness and protean shakes?"
"Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, people are jealous of me."
"After this you can never sing that song, or the bottles of beer one."
"I'll stop singing once I'm free." Alice promised.
A/N: Hello, an fyi – Alice was caught on the 15th, woke up on the 18th, and it is now the second of October. Alice is talking funny because she doesn't want to be labelled with hallucinations.
Shade