A/N:Bioware owns all; I just played Kaylie Shepard throughout Mass effect 1 – 3

Hey guys I know its been a month, but this chapters a big one so I hope that makes up for it. I hope you guys like the flashbacks,I put them in so you can get to know who Kaylie Shepard is. Also it explains alot about Shepards and Kaidans relationship before Mass Effect 3.

Thank you guys so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites =)

It was the morning of the surgery. Kaidan had been by Shepard's bedside since the nurse had wakened him up for his medication.

"Today's a big day..." Kaidan sighed as he held her hand. He caressed Shepard's engagement ring. "Today your going in for what I hope is one the last surgeries you'll ever have to go through. "

"Then you'll be off life support,and you'll finally be able to wake up." He finished as he he looked at all the machines attached to her. He felt his eyes start to water.

"I really miss those blues looking back at me Kay. I miss your smile...your touch...I just... I miss you so much Kay." He leaned in and kissed Shepard's forehead.

Tali had been right yesterday when she had said it was unfair for Shepard to go through all this after what she had been through these last few years. Life was never easy on Shepard, even when she was a kid.

...

Kaidan had ordered breakfast for both of them while Shepard took a shower. He had ordered pancakes, scrambled eggs, sausages, and fresh strawberries. While they were on the Normandy, she had mentioned that she missed real food. Kaidan had made sure that he had gotten all her favorites.

"She'll love it. " He smiled as he finished setting up everything.

"Kaidan, I forgot to grab my shirt out of my bag, could you get it for me?" Shepard called out from the shower.

"Yeah, sure." Kaidan replied as he went over to Shepard's bag and grabbed the shirt that was set on top. As he did, the bag fell over and he saw something fall out of the bag. He bent down and picked the paper up. It wasn't just a piece of paper, but a photograph. It was a picture of a young man and a woman who strangely resembled a lot like Shepard. The couple looked really young; about 18 years old in the picture.

"Kaidan, did you find it ..." Shepard said as she walked out of the bathroom in a robe and a towel holding her wet hair. She stopped as she saw what was in Kaidan's hand.

Kaidan looked up at her, with the picture in his hands.

"Kay are these your..."

"Yeah...they are." Shepard interrupted as she went over and grabbed the shirt.

Kaidan didn't know what to say. When he first meet Shepard she had told him she didn't have any. He had assumed that they must have died when she was younger. She had never talked about her parents and since she didn't, he never really asked.

He looked over at Shepard as she slipped on her shirt. She was trying to avoid any eye contact with him. He walked over to her and delicately touched her shoulders.

"Kay...if you don't want to talk about it... its okay but know that I'm here for you if you do."

Shepard Sighed as she looked down at the floor. "There's nothing to talk about Kaidan...They...They left me when I was only a week old."

Kaidan protectively put his arms around kissed her cheek softly. "I'm sorry."

"It's not what you think Kaidan." Shepard said as she slowly got up. She went over to the glass door where it looked out to the beautiful view of the Citadel. She crossed her arms, and leaned against the glass door. She closed her eyes as she went into deep thought.

"They left me at an orphanage when I was a week old."

Kaidan sat on the bed, looking at Shepard. He could tell that it was hard for her to talk about her parents. On the Normandy, he learned that Shepard had never talked about her life outside the Alliance. That night before Illos she had let him know that he was the only one that she ever let her guard down for.

"They left me there with only a note saying "Please take care of our baby girl. Kaylie Shepard. We can't give her the life she deserves."Shepard touched the glass gently with her finger.

"When I was a little girl, all I could ever think about was why they didn't love me enough to keep me. Didn't I deserve to be loved?"

Kaidan got up and put his arms around her. He kissed her forehead. "You do deserve to be loved Kay...I love you."

Shepard leaned back against Kaidan's chest. She gently caressed his hands that were wrapped around her stomach.

"I love you too, but when I was that little girl in that orphanage, I felt that nobody in the world loved me or even cared that I existed."

Kaidan didn't know what to say but just held on to her tighter.

"There's no record of any baby girl named Kaylie Shepard born in anywhere near the Toronto Metropolis area."

Kaidan nodded his head. Shepard had told him that she had grown up on the streets of the Toronto Metropolis area.

"I felt lost as a kid, not knowing where I was born. The orphanage tried looking for my parents but with so many Shepard's in Canada's biggest city, they weren't able too. It wasn't till I was 15 and I had joined the 10th street reds, that I actually started looking for them." She sighed as she closed her eyes.

"I found out that a Daniel Shepard and his girlfriend Elena Myers were killed a month after I was born. I looked at the news story and saw their pictures; I knew right away that they were my parents."

She looked over at the picture on the bed.

"I look almost exactly like her..."

"Yeah she does look like you..." Kaidan said as he kissed her head.

"I know it may sound weird, but I carried around their picture because it reminded me that I came from somewhere. Even though I didn't know the geographical location of that somewhere..." she looked up at Kaidan, "It reminded me that even though I was alone, at least I knew who I came from."

Kaidan took Shepard by the shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Kay, you know how I feel about you, how much I love you. You never have to question where you belong ever again. You belong here, in my arms," He took her hand and placed it on his chest "And In my heart. I'll always be by your side; you'll never be alone again."

A tear fell down Shepard's face as she looked up at Kaidan with an adoring look on her face."I'm so grateful that you walked into my life. You awakened a part of me that I didn't even know existed."

Kaidan leaned in and gently kissed Shepard. His cheeks rubbing off the tears that fell on her face.

"Je serai toujours votres." he whispered.

Shepard looked up with a confused look on her face. Kaidan chuckled.

"I'll always be yours."

She smiled as she cupped his chin. "Je serai toujours votres" She said in her best French.

Kaidan just grinned as he leaned back into a kiss against Shepard.

...

Kaidan looked down at his chest, which read "Je serai toujours votres KS."

He wasn't the type of person who was into tattoos, but when he had thought Shepard had died aboard the SR1, he had gotten it inked on his chest where his heart was in memory of her. Now it stood as a symbol of their love, which he would always carry with him.

"Kaidan?"

"Huh" Kaidan said out loud and snapped out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw a Doctor Chakwas at the end of Shepard's bed.

"I'm sorry to have interrupted you Kaidan, but I have to prep Shepard for Surgery."

"Uh yeah...I'm sorry." Kaidan replied as he carefully removed his hand from Shepard's. Before he let go, he leaned down and kissed her hand.

"I'll be waiting for you." He whispered. He placed her hand delicately onto her bed as he backed his wheelchair away and let Doctor Chakwas in to do her work.

He cringed as he watched her inject Shepard with a needle. Doctor Chakwas looked over and noticed his discomfort.

"Maybe you should wait outside, Kaidan."

"Yeah..." Kaidan replied "I'll be right outside if she needs anything."

Doctor Chakwas smiled warmly as she nodded her head.

Kaidan watched Shepard as he rolled out of the room. He wasn't looking where he was going when he bumped into his mom.

"Kaidan honey, what are you doing out here?"

Kaidan shifted nervously in the wheelchair. "I ugh...I couldn't watch Doctor Chakwas injecting her with all those needles...and...Having to shave a part of her head...it's just too much to watch."

Diana Alenko placed her hand on on top of her sons.

"I know this is hard on you, but keep in your mind and in your heart; that when she wakes up you two will be together, and you can finally do what you promised her and marry her."

Kaidan looked at his mother and smiled. Since being in the hospital, he had been dreaming of Shepard walking down the aisle towards him in a gorgeous white dress.

"I know mom. Thanks for reminding me, and...thank you for being here for me. I know its hard being here when Dads MIA...but I'm sure he's looking for us as much as we're looking for him."

Kaidan's mom nervously played with the locket around her neck. "I'm sure he is."

At that moment they were interrupted by a couple of nurses and Miranda Lawson, heading into Shepard's room. Kaidan followed them in.

"Doctor Chakwas, has she been prepped?" Miranda asked as she looked at her clipboard.

"Yes Miranda she has. We should get going soon; I just called the surgical team and let them know we'll be down in 15 minutes."

"Excellent. Everything's been set up, and all the equipment we needed was brought in last night." Miranda said as she ticked off the clip. She looked at the nurses beside her and motioned them to take Shepard.

Kaidan watched as the nurses slowly wheeled Shepard toward the door.

"Wait..."

He went over and held Shepard's hand.

"I love you." He whispered. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. He pulled back and nodded at the Nurses to proceed.

As they rolled Shepard into the hallway with Kaidan behind them, the Normandy Crew was waiting for them. They all watched as Shepard was led towards the elevator. Kaidan and the others took the next one. No one said anything as the elevator rode to operation room floor. They all piled out and watched as the surgical team took Shepard into the Operation room.

Before going into the Operation room, Doctor Chakwas came towards Kaidan.

"Kaidan, I know you're going to want to be here in the waiting room throughout her whole surgery, but the Surgery's going to last 24 hours. With your injuries you can't be sitting in your wheelchair for more than 2 hours...as your Doctor I have to tell you to go back to your room...You can come back when she's out of surgery."

"No" Kaidan protested, "I promised I would be there for her. I can't leave her now."

"Kaidan, I know that but with your..."

"No" Kaidan interrupted her; he looked at Doctor Chakwas and gave her an angry glare. "You know I can't do that Doctor Chakwas."

"Kaidan, you just had major surgery only a few days ago. You should listen to Doctor Chakwas." Garrus said out loud.

"NO!" Kaidan shouted this time. "Don't you all understand I can't, I won't!"

"Kaidan..." His mother calmly said as she placed her hand on his shoulder. "Honey, I know how much you want to be there for Shepard but you have to also take care of yourself. What would she say if she saw you right now?"

"She..." Kaidan sighed, "She would give me hell and personally make me go."

"Exactly. Just go back to your room Honey."

"Mom, you don't understand." Kaidan said as he looked up at his mother. "The last time I left her side, she almost died again...I just can't..."

"Kaidan...She's in good hands this time. Miranda is on the surgical team, and she helped bring Shepard back to life. Not only that, but the best surgeons in the entire Galaxy are on that team. She's not alone this time Kaidan. You know she wouldn't want you to be disobeying doctor's orders after a major surgery."

Kaidan closed his eyes as he felt another migraine coming on. His mother was right. Even though he wanted to be there with Shepard, he couldn't physically.

"Fine, take me back to our room."

Diana Alenko just nodded her head. "Don't worry I'll be here for the whole time Kaidan." She said as she led her son back into the elevator.

"Yeah, were also here for her Kaidan." Tali said as she stepped beside Garrus who put his arm around her.

"Yeah man, you should take it easy." said Joker.

Kaidan just nodded his head as the elevator door closed. His mother had dropped him at his room. The nurse helped him get back into the bed.

He starred at the ceiling; every now and then he would glance at the clock.

"Their 2 hours into her surgery now." He thought.

He reached over the night stand for the TV remote and turned it on. There was nothing except for news on life after the reapers.

"I'm Rose Smith, and welcome to BBC mornings news. It's day 5 after the war with the reapers has ended and the cleanup has slowly began in many parts of London..."

Kaidan zoned out as the reporter went on about how big Ben had managed to sustain only minimal damage. All he could think about was Shepard, and he knew until she woke up he wouldn't be able to rest easy.

"Everyday we have been bringing you the latest news on Commander Shepard..."

Kaidan quickly turned his attention back onto the reporter.

"Today London General Hospital released a statement saying that the Commander was going in for a vital surgery. They expressed that the surgery is extremely important in improving Commander Shepard's current condition. The commander is still listed in Critical condition, and has been since she was found 4 days ago. The hospital did not respond to further questions, as per security reasons."

Kaidan was thankful that the Alliance had decided to secure London General Hospital. Even with the war over, there still hadn't been any reports on if the Illusive man was found.

"In other major news, the Alliance and the rest of the Galactic fleets have yet to find the Illusive Man. The Cerberus leader was last seen fleeing Cronos Station which was the Headquarters for Cerberus operations. He was headed to the Citadel but no one can confirm or deny that he ever made it there. Fleets are constantly combing through the citadel in search of the Illusive man, but nothing has turned up yet."

Kaidan's blood boiled as he heard the words "the Illusive man." It was because of him that those misunderstandings had occurred on Horizon. The misunderstandings that had put distance between him and Shepard. He remembered the anger and hurt he felt when he saw Shepard on Horizon, and how it tore him up that he had treated her they way he did, and how that letter he had sent to her caused her to breakdown.

Shepard,

I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?

Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me... maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside.

But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die - on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.

When things settle down a little... maybe... I don't know. Just take care.

-Kaidan

He hadn't gone on that date with the Doctor willingly, he was ambushed. He was just at the bar drowning his sorrows,when his friends had told him they had someone they wanted to introduce to him. He couldn't believe them, when they had introduced him to her, he just told them he had to leave because something from work had popped up. He just couldn't do it; the only person he had ever seen himself with was Kaylie Shepard. He didn't know why he had mentioned the so called "date" to her in the letter. He was so filled with his hate for Cerberus he couldn't see that his Shepard was still there. He remembered her reply that almost stopped his heart.

...

Kaidan was back in his apartment on the Citadel from a recent mission. He hadn't been the same since Horizon,since he saw her. He sighed as he sat down onto his sofa. He looked over and saw the terminal light blinking. His heart started to beat faster.

"Had she finally written back?" He thought.

Kaidan nervously got up and checked his messages. He swore he felt his heart stop beating.

It was an encrypted email but from subject he knew it was her.

Kaidan,

I'm sorry I didn't say enough on Horizon. All I wanted to do was to hold you and never let you go, to tell you that I love you. I don't know what happened, it's like after all those weeks I spent looking for you, and there you were in front of me and I was just speechless.

It was 2 years for you but for me it was only weeks. When I woke up the first thing I thought of was you. When I looked around, only then did I remember what happened and even then I didn't know 2 years had gone by. When I realised I was in a Cerberus facility, I wanted nothing to do them. I remember what they did Kaidan; I remember what they did to Rear Admiral Kahoku.

Then I was told about the collector attacks. Obviously I didn't take Cerberus's word on it, and investigated it by myself. I didn't join Cerberus, I'm only using them to get rid of the collectors.

I went to the Citadel once I was done investigating and the Council didn't believe me when I told them that the Collectors were working for the Reapers. They thought I was delusional about the reapers, and still denied that they even existed. They just reinstated me, nothing more. The Alliance did more of the same. When I asked about you, Anderson told me it was classified. He refused to tell me anything about your where abouts.

Do I remember that night before Ilos? Of course I do, that night meant everything to me... it was the best night of my life. Nothing's changed for me Kaidan, I'm still the same woman you fell in love with on the Normandy.

I'm sorry this is probably so long. I should have written to you sooner. I've written this message a million times but didn't have the courage to send it. But that's not what the whole messages about.

We're entering the Omega 4 relay tomorrow...and like you probably already know, no ship has ever made it through before. I just...I just want to say...just in case...if I don't make it... I've always loved you, I still love you, and I will always only love you. You were the only good thing that ever happened to me; the only person that made me feel like I belonged.

"Je serai toujours votres."

-Kay

Kaidan sat frozen on the sofa. She was going through the Omega 4 relay. No ship ever came back. She might not come back. This couldn't be happening again.

He quickly typed up a message

Kay, please don't do this. There has to be another way to stop them. I can't go through this again, I just can't. Please, talk to me in person...I want to see you

-Kaidan

The message pinged back, it couldn't go through.

He ran his hands through his Hair. He could feel himself panicking. He had to stop her; he couldn't let her do this again.

He quickly got up raced to his terminal. Anderson, he would know what to do, maybe he could stop her.

"Major, why are you calling?" Anderson answered. By the looks of it Kaidan could tell he was still in his office.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you Sir but this is important. It's about Shepard..."

"What about Shepard?" Anderson said as he raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"She...She's crossing the Omega 4 relay, maybe as we speak."

"Yes, Major... I know." Anderson sighed, "The council has received word that a ship just went through the relay."

"What?!" Kaidan answered back. He felt like he was going to be sick. "But Sir you know no ships ever come back from the relay. She .." Kaidan swallowed as he tried to get the words out, "She might not come back sir."

"I know Major, I know. I don't like the circumstances but you know how Shepard is." Anderson sighed, "Don't worry though Major...She'll be okay its Shepard were talking about.

...

He only found out later on, that Anderson had a mole on Normandy while Shepard used Cerberus. He was thankful to the man for watching over Shepard.

"Major?" a voice called out.

"Huh?" Kaidan said as he snapped out of his thoughts. In front of him was Doctor Hart, the Doctor he had seen when he first woke up.

"Doctor Hart? What are you doing here?"

"Doctor Chakwas wanted me to monitor you while she's in surgery. She said your blood pressure has been a little high lately and you haven't been getting enough sleep..."

Kaidan sighed, "I can't sleep knowing my Fiancé's in critical condition."

"I'm sorry..." Doctor Hart didn't know what to say. "But I have to check your blood pressure Major."

Kaidan nodded as he just fell back and starred at the ceiling while the Doctor took his blood pressure.

When she was done, Doctor Hart looked down at the reading.

"Major, your blood pressure is really high today. It might be because of all the stress and lack of sleep." she said as she looked at Kaidan concerned. "You have to get some sleep major."

"I can't sleep, I try to but I can't."

Doctor Hart crossed her arms. "Well, I know today's a stressful day for you. So I'm going to give you something that will help you go to sleep."

Doctor Hart went over to the medical dispensary.

"This will help you to fall asleep. Just for today."

Kaidan took the pill from the doctor and some water and swallowed it.

Doctor Hart left the room, and before he knew it he was falling asleep.

Kaidan looked around him; behind him he could hear the waves hitting the shore. He could smell the fresh cool breeze. He was at English Bay beach. He was dressed in his Alliance blues, and beside him was Joker. He looked out in front of him where hundreds of people were seated. He looked down and saw his mom who beaming at him. Kaidan smiled back. Here comes the bride started to play, and everyone stood up. He looked ahead of him and saw her.

She was walking towards him, in a beautiful white long, flowy dress. She looked so beautiful. He couldn't stop smiling; he saw her doing the same.

Then everything went very slowly, he could swear he saw her drift away from him.

"Shepard!" He cried out, extending his hand to reach her.

"Kaidan!" Shepard shout trying to run, desperately trying to reach him.

Kaidan woke up startled. He looked around the hospital room. He was sweating and panting. He leaned back onto his bed as he pushed his hair back.

"It was just a dream" He thought.

He looked over as he saw his mom make her way to his bedside.

"Hey looks who's up." She said as gently touched his forehead.

"How long was I asleep for?" he asked looking up at his mom.

"For 16 hours. The doctors said you needed your sleep."

"How's Shepard?"

"She's still in surgery, but that's why I'm here to get you. The surgeries almost over. "

"Thanks mom." Kaidan said gratefully. He called the nurse and she helped him get into his wheelchair.

They made their way in front of Shepard's operation room door. Kaidan looked around and saw Normandy crew all sprawled out in the waiting room.

At that very moment Doctor Chakwas came out. Everyone got up, waiting for the doctor to say something.

She looked down at Kaidan, and smiled."The surgery was a complete success."

Kaidan felt tears coming to his eyes.

"She's going to be okay."