Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Eclipse, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.

Chapter 10

Understanding

What on earth could have happened? What did she say?

The corners of Carlisle's eyes crinkled as they narrowed, trying to interpret the meaning of my words. His head oscillated between Jasper and myself – begging Jasper for an explanation of my emotional state and searching my face frantically for any sliver of reason.

My head – filled with all the images of what life could be like without Bella by my side – throbbed and I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes, trying to dull the ache. A low buzzing pervaded my eardrums, making it nearly impossible to hear anything else around me but the frenzied thoughts of my family and my own apocalyptic visions.

I had to get back to her. I had to make this right. I couldn't let something like this tear us apart – allow my own pigheadedness and jealousy to come between us. All she wanted was my love. All she wanted was my trust. All she wanted was my understanding. And I was either too blind or too stubborn to see that. And now, as the terrifying conclusion that it could be too late engulfed me, I felt myself suffocating under the implications.

I shifted my weight, shakily standing as Carlisle continued to grip my shoulders.

What is he doing? He can't possibly…

I took several unsteady steps forward before Jasper reached out a calming hand to me. I wrenched myself away and took several more uneven steps, heading in the direction of home. I had to go back. I had to make it right.

"Edward, wait…"

Oh, no you don't.

I heard Emmett's thoughts just before he came up behind me and wrapped his sturdy arms around my chest, locking his hands together in an unbreakable grip. I didn't have the strength to struggle against him. I felt my weight sagging, giving over to the power of gravity, with only my brother's arms to support me.

"Edward," Carlisle whispered, his voice calm and composed, yet laced with a hint of anxiety. "Talk to me. Please."

Emmett's grip loosened and I stumbled forward, reaching out to brace myself against a nearby tree. The soft bark crumpled like paper as my fingers clenched around it. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on my breathing. The knots in my stomach continued to tighten and a wave of nausea crashed over me. My overfull stomach twisted and groaned in protest. I gasped just before my body revolted and expelled its contents onto the undergrowth below.

"Edward!" Carlisle exclaimed, bracing my shoulders as my stomach continued to heave. When the retching ceased, he led me back to the campfire. I eased back down to the forest floor and buried my face in my hands. Jasper laid his palms on my back and I could sense the peace he was struggling to exude. I imagined it was quite difficult for him to concentrate on remaining calm given my tumultuous emotional state – not to mention Carlisle's worry and Emmett's confusion.

"Carlisle," I muttered, not bothering to look up. "We have to go back. I need to fix this."

"Edward," Carlisle soothed. "You don't even know if anything is wrong. You heard a phone message – a relatively vague phone message at that. Don't you think you may be overreacting?"

I lifted my eyes to glower at my father, but was distracted by the shrill ring of a telephone. All eyes were on Emmett as he fumbled with his pockets to retrieve his cell phone. His brow furrowed as he pushed the button and brought the phone to his ear.

"Emmett, what the heck is going on?" I could hear Alice's demanding voice emanating from the receiver. "Why do I see Edward running home in a panic?"

"Well, Alice…" he began.

"Just let me speak to him, Emmett," she sighed.

He cringed, glancing hesitantly in my direction. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Alice," he stammered. "He's pretty broken up."

"All the more reason for me to talk to him," she insisted.

"But Alice…"

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, I know he can hear me whether he has the phone or not. Edward, you are being completely ridiculous. Did you honestly think that Bella would be okay with this little plan of yours? Of course she was upset. For all intents and purposes, you asked me to kidnap her and hold her hostage."

I cringed at her words and lowered my head. She was right. But how else could I be absolutely sure that she was safe? How could I know that she wouldn't be in danger unless I had someone there to watch over her?

Alice continued. "Do you want to know what she said about this? She said it was controlling and psychotic. Honestly, Edward, how did you expect her to react? Not to mention the fact that her life is in upheaval for two days and she had to cancel her plans with Jacob."

"I tried to tell him," Rosalie sang, unbidden, in the background.

"Emmett," I growled. "If you care at all for your wife's safety, you will remind her never to utter the words I told you so."

"Rose!" Alice hissed. "You are not helping."

She exhaled and continued, "Edward, nothing has changed. The visions of Bella are intact – you aren't in any danger of losing her, so you need to just calm down. You need to stop overreacting and jumping to conclusions. You need to have a little more faith in the strength of your relationship. She's a woman and sometimes we get aggravated – you need to let her express her frustrations. If you can't deal with it every time she gets upset, you are going to have some serious issues in your marriage."

Leave it to Alice to lay it all out there – for everyone to see. Jasper grimaced as she continued, unabashed.

"But I will warn you that you are pushing the limits if you rush home. You need to give her some time and some space. Right now, she's asleep. She will be fine. You will be fine. Just please…calm down! You'll see her tomorrow night and, when you do, you'll realize just how absurd it was for you to freak out over this."

Carlisle managed a tight smile and shook his head. Emmett held the phone at a slight distance from himself, almost as though he feared that Alice's proverbial smack upside the head might somehow come through the phone and hit him instead. I blew out the breath I had been holding through her forthright tirade. Tomorrow evening seemed like such a long time to wait. Certainly Bella wouldn't turn me away if I came home sooner. Alice's reassurances were shallow until I had Bella in my arms.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, did you hear me?" she screeched. "Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, don't you dare let him come home any sooner!"

I rested my forehead on my palm, disheartened and forced into a requisite twenty-four hour waiting period.

"Fine, Alice," I breathed. "I'll stay."

"That's a good boy," she commended. "It's for the best. Trust me on this."

Carlisle cleared his throat and gave me a tentative pat on the knee. "Thank you, Alice," he replied, implying that her meddling was no longer warranted or desired.

"Oh, you're welcome," she sang. "And Carlisle?"

"Hmm?"

"Make sure Edward gets something to eat – and keeps it down this time."

My palm splayed across my face, attempting to hide my mortification. Emmett covered his mouth, failing to disguise the chuckle that threatened to escape.

"That's enough, Alice," Carlisle warned, motioning to Emmett to hang up the phone. The resounding beep that followed, signaling the end of Alice's interference, cause us all to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

"Sorry about that," Carlisle apologized. "Her tact leaves something to be desired, but her heart was in the right place."

I rolled my eyes and groaned, allowing my body to sink further into itself, wishing that I could disappear completely. It was one thing to break down in isolation, as I did not so many months ago, but to have my weaknesses displayed and my dirty laundry aired so openly with my family was utterly humiliating.

Emmett shoved the offending phone back in his pocket and rubbed his other hand across the back of his neck. "Glad that's over," he shrugged.

"She means well," Jasper tried to defend his wife.

"Well she's about as subtle as a kick in the…"

"Emmett!" Carlisle warned before he could finish his sentence.

"I don't know what it is about you, Eddie, but first Bella and now Alice. What is with you and women?" Emmett snickered.

I lifted my head to glare, not at all amused by his comments, but he continued on, completely oblivious to my irritation.

"You know, maybe Bella's upset because she doesn't like the bed," he teased.

"Why wouldn't she like it?" I countered, silently wondering to myself why I couldn't just keep my mouth shut. Asking questions would only add fuel to his idiotic musings.

"I don't know, but I bet she'd like it more if you were in it," he goaded, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

One moment, Emmett was laughing uncontrollably at his own joke and the next he was doubled over, having received an elbow to the midsection, courtesy of Jasper.

My lips curved up in a crooked grin and soon I found myself laughing too. Leave it to Emmett to shatter the tension in a moment of pure levity. Nervous laughter joined my own and soon I felt like myself again.

"Come on, Eddie," Emmett slapped me on the back. "Let's go get you something to eat."

After insisting several times that I didn't need Emmett's assistance to secure another meal, my thirst was once again satisfied.

Carlisle and Jasper were speaking softly when we returned and gestured for me to sit. Conversation flowed easily at first, discussions of plans for our eventual relocation and the situation in Seattle, but I could hear in the back of Carlisle's mind that he craved a heart-to-heart with me. It pained him greatly to see me in distress. Just like a father, he struggled against the desire to fix all my problems for me. It troubled him to sit back and watch me make mistake after mistake for the sake of learning the lessons for myself.

"Go ahead, Carlisle," I surrendered. "I know you want to talk about it, so let's just get it over with."

He arched an eyebrow, surprised by my willingness to discuss my relationship with Bella openly. He knew better than most that I preferred to keep those matters private. He opened his mouth, hesitating, unsure of where to begin.

Emmett rolled his eyes. Cat got your tongue, Daddy C? Groaning, he threw his arms up in the air, choosing to break the silence himself. "Alice is right, Edward. Enough is enough."

"Emmett," Carlisle chided.

"What?" he shrugged. "Someone needed to say it." He turned to me. "I know you love Bella. We all do, but you seriously need to chill out. You need to stop overreacting over every little thing that happens. You can't shield her from everything and if she chooses to be friends with a werewolf, who are you to judge? I mean, you knew that her being in a relationship with you was dangerous, but she's still here, isn't she?"

My mouth gaped slightly. Emmett was our boisterous brother, our comic relief – he was rarely the voice of reason. But I couldn't argue with anything he said.

Jasper interjected, "If anything, the way she reacted should be a red flag. She's not going to tolerate this domineering attitude from you, even if you say it's for her own protection. You lost her once, we all did, and none of us want to go through that again."

I wanted to protest. I wanted to shout that they were wrong, but I couldn't. Because they were right. Bella wasn't a damsel in distress, she wasn't a child – she was my partner and I needed to start treating her like one. Just as Carlisle sat back and gave me the freedom to make my own decisions, I had to do the same for Bella. After all, how could I know that she truly loved me if I took away her free will?

The gravity of my rumination, rather than weighing me down as I thought it would, surprisingly had the opposite effect. I felt as though a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I would still protect Bella, certainly, but I would no longer be the man who made her decisions for her. I would be the one who supported her, no matter what she decided. I would be the one to hold her hand. I would follow her in whichever direction she decided to go.

The next twenty hours or so passed quicker than I could have imagined, thanks to the distractions my brothers happily provided. Emmett was all too eager to take advantage of the rare opportunity of having me 'Bella-less', as he called it.

As the trees blurred past my window, I tried my best to prepare myself for the possible welcome that awaited me. Would Bella still be as furious as she sounded in her message or would enough time have passed for her anger to subside? I would do anything to earn her trust again, beg and plead if I had to.

I thought back over the weekend. Jasper had managed to tug Emmett away long enough to allow Carlisle and I to have our private conversation. Carlisle told me that he was proud of me for finally coming to the conclusion that I had to let Bella be free to make her own decisions.

He understood my uncertainties and insecurities, however unfounded they might be. I explained that, with Bella, I felt completely vulnerable. I had lived for nearly a century knowing exactly what everyone around me was thinking and then this one person, the only one that mattered, came along and turned my world completely upside down. I'd never known what it was to speak to someone and not know exactly where I stood or how they felt. And it would take quite some time for me to adjust.

My knee bounced nervously as the house came into view. The car pulled into the garage and I wrenched the door open. I was rewarded by the faint scent of freesia that hung subtly in the air. I was preparing to dash up the steps to my room when Alice's meek voice called to me.

"Alice, I need to see her," I protested.

"Please, Edward. It will just take a moment. Besides, Bella is already asleep."

I sighed and eased myself onto the couch beside my sister and crossed my arms.

"Well, don't you want to hear about our weekend?" she asked.

"Of course I do, Alice. I just really want to see Bella."

"About that," she paused, biting her lip. "There's something you should know."

"What is it?' I asked, bracing myself for whatever bad news Alice was about to divulge.

"Promise not to be mad?"

"I can't make any promises, but I'll try."

"Bella went to La Push." She paused, gauging my reaction before continuing.

It didn't surprise me that Bella would see Jacob today, knowing that I would be back tomorrow. However, I was astonished that Alice had allowed it. And what was even more surprising was the fact that it didn't bother me nearly as much as it had before.

"Are you mad?" she asked, cringing away as though she expected me to strike her.

"No, Alice, I'm not mad."

"Really?" she gaped in disbelief. Wow, that must have been some epiphany.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, responding more to her thoughts than her question.

"Oh, well," she stammered. "I could see that you would come to some important conclusions while you were away, but I had no idea. I'm just surprised that this doesn't seem to bother you at all."

"Please don't be under the misapprehension that I'm happy about it, Alice," I reminded her. "I have, however, learned that I can't fly off the handle every time Bella does something I don't like. She is free to be friends with whomever she wishes."

Wow, she mouthed.

"So, tell me what happened because I know you're dying to," I prodded.

Relieved by my cavalier attitude to the whole situation, Alice animatedly began regaling me with the details of their weekend. Bella had been upset about being kidnapped by Alice, but was a good sport about it, with the exception of the phone message she left me. I was surprised to hear that Bella had actually defended my actions to Jacob, claiming that I was only trying to keep her safe.

I held back my groan when Alice told me how Jacob had shown up at school on his motorcycle and did some kidnapping of his own. Alice, of course, had panicked and rushed home to enlist Rosalie and Esme. They patrolled the boundary line together until Alice saw Bella on her way back.

Alice showed me the vision of Bella riding her motorcycle through the blinding rain. Bella was angry after her visit with Jacob, but wouldn't explain to Alice why and, of course, Alice couldn't see it because it involved the wolf. I couldn't help but smile a little at this. Bad news for Jacob meant good news for me.

"Is that all?" I asked, preparing to get up.

"She wasn't amused with the bribes," she admitted.

I chuckled to myself. Why was I not surprised?

"You're taking this surprisingly well," she heeded. "I was almost certain you would take the Porsche back the moment you came home."

"Alice," I chuckled. "I'm not vindictive. It was a gift. It wasn't your fault that you couldn't see the mutt when he came for Bella. And it was a split-second decision when Bella went with him, otherwise you would have stopped her."

"Really?" she squealed. She threw her arms around my neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Now can I go see Bella?"

"Yes, yes, go," she smiled, releasing me and shooing me away. Without hesitation, I ran up the stairs, anxious to get to her.

I passed Rosalie in the hallway. I could see in her thoughts the memory of her conversation with Bella the previous night. 'He loves you more than you know. It terrifies him to be away from you.' I smiled warmly at my sister, thankful for her understanding and for trying to show Bella one more reason for her to remain human.

With each step I took, Bella's scent became stronger, her heartbeat louder. I paused just outside the door, my hand grasping the handle, and I listened to the soothing sounds of her breathing.

I eased the door open, careful not to make a noise and disturb her slumber. The light of the hallway cast a faint glow over the room and my eyes fell expectantly on the bed. Bella wasn't there. I could hear her. I could smell her. But I couldn't…and then I saw her. She was curled up on my couch, the gold comforter wrapped around her and spilling over onto the floor.

Alice had mentioned Bella's displeasure in my use of bribes, but she had failed to mention that the bed was one of them. I smiled to myself. She was so stubborn. Or perhaps Emmett was right. I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle the snicker that would surely wake her.

Bella was murmuring softly in her sleep, but I couldn't make out the words. Her clothes were hanging haphazardly out of her bag at foot of the bed. I grimaced as the lingering odor of the dog reached my nostrils, but as I moved closer, Bella's alluring aroma overpowered the offending smell.

I silently leaned over her, watching her as her chest rose and fell softly. I reached out and swept away several stray strands of hair that lay across her face. She was so peaceful, so beautiful. How could such a wonderful creature belong to me? Would she still belong to me?

I frowned. I couldn't leave her on the couch, not with a perfectly comfortable bed sitting right here. I reached down and scooped her up in my arms. The tension I felt for the last twenty-four hours melted away with her touch. I cradled her to my chest and held her there for a moment, just needing to be near her, to feel her body against mine. Even in her sleep, she snuggled closer to me. I kissed her softly on the forehead before placing her gently on the bed and tucking the comforter around her.

I eased myself down beside her, lying on my side, and propping my head on my elbow. The craving to be near her was palpable. I spent every night watching her dream and just one night away from her had been agonizing. And here now, watching her sleep so peacefully, I was awestruck by the serenity it brought to me. Did she even realize how exquisite she was, how unbreakable her hold on me had become? She was a goddess and I would be willing to give her anything her heart desired – even if that wish was her friendship with Jacob.

I needed to touch her. I couldn't help myself. I reached out and tenderly ran the back of my hand along her cheek. Her head moved just a fraction of degree in the direction of my touch. My fingers gently traced the planes of her face, memorizing every dimple, every groove. Her lips parted as I ran my thumb across them, her warm breath making my skin tingle.

Her eyelids fluttered only slightly and I quickly withdrew my hand, silently chastising myself for waking her. Her mouth opened in a wide yawn and she stretched her arms above her head before rolling over onto her side. Her heart rate increased marginally and her hand reached out to feel the surface she was resting on. She rolled again, her lips pursed, and she blinked several times as her eyes adjusted to the darkness.

"Sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you." My body stiffened, awaiting the fury that had been promised to me. A small smile graced her lips.

She was smiling?

Her hands reached out and found mine, her fingers intertwining with my own as she shifted closer to me.

This was not the welcome I had been expecting. This was the welcome I had hoped for. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest, rejoicing in the sweet reunion. She began peppering me with soft kisses, blazing a trail from my neck to my chin and ending with my lips. The feel of her lips on mine chased away any remaining doubts and fears and my heart rejoiced in the reaffirmation of her love.

My happiness bubbled over and a laugh escaped. "I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get?" I teased. "I should infuriate you more often."

"Give me a minute to work up to it," she hummed, reaching up to kiss my lips again. The electricity flowed between us, exciting every nerve ending in my body. I tangled my fingers in her long tresses, drawing her even closer.

"I'll wait as long as you want," I breathed, my lips never leaving hers. Her heart began to beat faster and her respiration increased.

"Maybe in the morning."

I was surprised at how quickly her resolve had crumbled under my touch, but equally as surprised at the intensity of my craving. I withdrew from her mouth and my lips found purchase on the supple skin under her jaw.

"Whatever you prefer," I whispered between kisses.

"Welcome home," she breathed, weaving her hands into my hair and arching her back slightly as my lips continued to trail down her neck. "I'm glad you came back."

"That's a very good thing," I agreed.

"Mmm," she murmured in agreement, pulling herself even closer to me.

Her scent was intoxicating, making my head swim. She was so soft, so warm, so perfect. And she was mine. All mine. For the briefest moment, I entertained the notion of giving in to my desires, of showing Bella exactly how much I loved her. That fraction of a second was enough to open the floodgates.

My hands splayed across her back and down her arms, needing to feel every inch of her. My fingers danced along her back and skimmed her waist before running across her hip and down her leg. My own breathing started to become erratic and every cell in my body felt like it was on fire. My body was rejuvenated from a fresh kill and the energy it provided surged through me. I could feel the heat rising within me and I couldn't wait any longer. I had to have her.

My fingers grasped her calf and I pulled her leg, hitching it up over my hip. The kisses I trailed along her throat became more urgent and the lines of my carefully drawn boundaries began to blur.

"Not to bring on the ire prematurely," I teased, "but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?"

I tightened my hold on her and rolled, pulling her on top of me. I could feel every detail of her body through the thin layers of fabric that separated us. My hands cupped her cheeks and I continued to press kisses along her chin and throat. Her breath came out in soft gasps and I realized she hadn't answered my question.

"The bed? I think it's nice."

"It's unnecessary," she panted.

I recaptured her mouth once again. It thrilled me how her lips, so soft and warm, molded to my own. Like two puzzle pieces, we seemed to fit together perfectly. She had no idea what a sensual creature she was – tempting me with her very presence.

I shifted slowly until I was hovering above her, our bodies still pressed together. Our chests rose and fell with one another and the beat of her heart sent vibrations through my own.

"That's debatable," I chuckled. "This would be difficult on a couch." Why hadn't I thought of purchasing a bed sooner? Bella's entire body flushed with heat, only stoking the fires of my passion. All I had to do was place my hands just so and every scrap of clothing would be torn away. The thought of being with Bella with nothing separating us was too much to bear. I could feel my last shred of control slipping away.

She squirmed underneath me and traced her fingers along my back. I couldn't help myself. I had to taste her. My tongue darted out, slowly tracing the velvety smoothness of her lips. Her lips were sweeter than honey, more delicious than the finest wine.

"Did you change your mind?" she panted.

And instantly I was brought back to reality. What was I thinking? I breathed out an exasperated sigh and rolled away from her. She sat up, her eyes questioning me.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella," I reproved. I was mortified that I had allowed it to go so far – how close I came to giving in to my desires. A few more moments and I knew that I wouldn't have been able to control myself any longer. I shuddered to think of how I could have harmed her. I had to keep a tight rein on my emotions. I couldn't let her know how much I struggled.

"I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don't seem to like. Don't get carried away."

"Too late," she murmured. Her shoulders slumped slightly and she pursed her lips. If I hadn't regretted this lapse in judgment already, I certainly did now. I hated seeing the disappointment on her face.

She must have detected the change in my mood because she reached a hand out to me. "And I like the bed," she said.

"Good," I smiled, leaning in to kiss her softly on the forehead. "I do, too."

"But I still think it's unnecessary," she waved her arm, gesturing to the bed. "If we're not going to get carried away, what's the point?"

I wasn't concerned about Bella getting carried away. I, on the other hand, couldn't bear it if something happened to her because I couldn't control myself. "For the hundredth time, Bella – it's too dangerous," I sighed.

"I like danger," she taunted.

"I know," I replied, rolling my eyes. She never truly understood the danger I posed, or the danger from the wolves, for that matter. And even though she knew what I was capable of, what I could do to her, she didn't seem to care. Sometimes I wondered if she was truly naive or just very, very brave.

"I'll tell you what's dangerous," she teased, dragging a single finger down my chest. "I'm going to spontaneously combust one of these days – and you'll have no one but yourself to blame."

She thought she was going to combust? She had no concept of just how difficult this was for me as well. Did she think I didn't want her? Surely she understood the depth of my passion for her. Teasingly, I started to push her away from me.

"What are you doing?" she shrieked, tugging on my shirt.

"Protecting you from combustion," I teased. "If this is too much for you…"

"I can handle it," she declared, snuggling closer to me and I eagerly wrapped her in my arms again. Her breathing had returned to normal and she sighed in contentment as I held her.

"I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression," I said. "I didn't mean to make you unhappy. That wasn't nice."

"Actually, it was very, very nice," she sighed.

She had no idea. If she could feel even a fraction of the desire I felt for her, I was sure there would be no stopping her from seducing me…and possibly succeeding. I was beginning to grow uncomfortable with this conversation, feeling my control threatening to slip once more.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked, attempting to change the subject. "I should let you sleep."

"No, I'm not," she insisted. "I don't mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again."

"That's probably a bad idea." A very bad idea. "You're not the only one who gets carried away."

"Yes, I am," she huffed, crossing her arms.

"You have no idea, Bella," I laughed. "It doesn't help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control, either."

"I'm not going to apologize for that."

I didn't expect her to, but I remembered that I did have something to apologize for. As happy as I was that she welcomed me back so eagerly, I still needed to repent for asking Alice to kidnap her. I wanted her to know that I realized the error of my ways – that I was ready to be the man she needed me to be.

"Can I apologize?" I asked.

"For what?"

"You were angry with me, remember?"

"Oh, that," she sighed.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong. It's much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely here." I squeezed her closer to me, emphasizing my point. "I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don't think I'll go so far again. It's not worth it."

"Didn't you find any mountain lions?" she asked.

"Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety." I was certainly glad she wasn't there to witness my reaction to her phone message. I only prayed that Emmett could keep his mouth shut. "I'm sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea."

"Yes," she said simply.

"I won't do it again," I promised.

"Okay, but slumber parties do have their advantages…" she curled her fingers in my hair and began pressing soft kisses along my neck and chest. I let my eyes flutter closed, enraptured by the sensation of her warm lips on my cool skin. "You can hold me hostage any time you want."

"Mmm…I may take you up on that," I murmured. It was definitely a tempting offer. Perhaps too tempting.

"So is it my turn now?" she asked.

Her turn? For what?

"Your turn?"

"To apologize," she clarified.

"What do you have to apologize for?"

She sat up and her eyes began searching my face. "Aren't you mad at me?"

"No."

"Didn't you see Alice when you got home?"

"Yes – why?" Certainly she wouldn't think I could be angry with her after everything I had done. She did nothing wrong.

"Are you going to take her Porsche back?"

"Of course not," I scoffed. "It was a gift."

"Don't you want to know what I did?" she asked. She was safe and in my arms – it didn't matter to me what she did. I was determined in this moment to show her just how much I had grown during my time away, how I had learned to trust her implicitly.

"I'm always interested in everything you do – but you don't have to tell me unless you want to."

Her eyebrows knit together. She wasn't used to seeing this side of me. "But I went to La Push," she said.

"I know."

"And I ditched school."

"So did I." Did she want me to be angry with her?

"Where did all this tolerance come from?" she asked.

"I decided that you were right," I sighed. "My problem before was more about my…prejudice against werewolves than anything else." Or one wolf in particular. "I'm going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say it's safe then I'll believe you."

Her mouth hung open and her eyes were wide. "Wow."

"And…most importantly…I'm not willing to let this drive a wedge between us." I wished there were more light in the room so she could see the sincerity in my eyes. I wanted her to know that I finally understood; that I finally realized it was my stubbornness and jealousy that had been coming between us. It wasn't Jacob at all – it was me. I wanted her to know that I finally understood what Rosalie and Esme had been trying to explain to me.

She laid her head on my chest and I reached up to cup her cheek in my palm. I placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. I wanted her to see that I could be the man she wanted – the man she needed. I was no longer going to allow my emotions to be ruled by jealousy.

"So, did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?" I asked.

Her breathing faltered and I could feel the tension as her back straightened. Certainly she wouldn't think I was baiting her. I needed her to know that I could support her in her decisions, that it didn't matter to me who she chose to be friends with.

"Just so that I can make my own plans," I clarified. "I don't want you to feel like you have to hurry back because I'm sitting around waiting for you."

"No," she whispered. "I don't have plans to go back."

"Oh. You don't have to do that for me."

"I don't think I'm welcome anymore," she replied, crestfallen.

"Did you run over someone's cat?" I joked. What could have possibly happened to make her unwelcome. I knew Jacob wouldn't give up that easily.

"No," she sighed. "I thought Jacob would have realized…I didn't think it would surprise him."

What?

She hesitated, biting her lip. "He wasn't expecting…that it was so soon."

"Ah." It all made sense. Jacob knew of Bella's intention to become one of us, but the timeline must have surprised him. I wished myself that it wasn't so soon. But why would that cause him to turn her away? If anything, it should have caused him to fight harder – to plead for her humanity.

"He said he'd rather see me dead," she muttered, her voice faltering.

He said what? How dare he! And he claimed to be her friend? He said that he loved her. Why on earth would he tell her something like that? Of all the hateful, insensitive…

I could smell the salt in the tears that began brimming in her eyes and I pulled her tighter to me, as though I could shield her from Jacob's harmful words. "I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"I thought you'd be glad."

"Glad over something that's hurt you? I don't think so, Bella." I could never be happy when something caused her pain. I would do anything if it could prevent her from ever shedding another tear. I disliked Jacob Black before, but in this moment, he deserved my hatred. I hated, even more, the fact that he had the ability to hurt her so deeply.

"What's wrong?" she asked, sensing my tension.

"It's nothing."

"You can tell me," she insisted.

"It might make you angry."

"I still want to know."

I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath. "I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I want to." She had no idea how serious I was.

"I guess it's a good think you've got so much self-control," she laughed.

"I could slip."

"If you're going to have a lapse in control, I can think of a better place for it," she breathed, winding her arms around my neck and reaching up to find my lips. I held her more tightly, preventing her lips from reaching mine. I had a thin grasp on my control and if I allowed her to continue, I wasn't sure if I would be able to hold back.

"Must I always be the responsible one?" I sighed.

"No. Let me be in charge of responsibility for a few minutes…or hours," she teased.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled lightly. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Wait – there was something else I wanted to ask you about."

"What's that?"

"I was talking to Rosalie last night…"

My breath caught. Did she finally understand why I wanted her to remain human? Did she realize all that she would be giving up?

"Yes," I managed. "She was thinking about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didn't she?" I hope.

"She told me a little bit…about the time your family lived in Denali."

Rosalie hadn't shown me that part of their conversation. What could she want to know about Denali? What would this have to do with Rosalie's story?

"Yes?" I asked.

"She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires…and you." She paused, waiting for me to explain and I froze. What had Rosalie told her? If she told Bella about Tanya to scare her away, it would take more than Emmett to hold me back.

"Don't worry. She told me you didn't…show any preference," she hesitated, wringing her hands. "But I was just wondering, you know, if any of them had. Shown a preference for you, I mean."

Did she really want to talk about this? I couldn't bring myself to answer. Bella was already ridiculously insecure – if I told her about Tanya…

"Which one?" she pressed. "Or was there more than one?"

So Rosalie didn't go into detail. That was good. But still, she had to have known that even bringing it up would cause Bella undue distress. I was certainly going to have a word with my sister as soon as Bella went home.

"Alice will tell me," she persisted. "I'll go ask her right now." She started to pull away, but I held her tighter.

"It's late," I whispered. "Besides, I think Alice stepped out…"

"It's bad," she whimpered. "It's really bad, isn't it?" Her heart started beating furiously in her chest and her cheeks began to flush.

"Calm down, Bella," I soothed, kissing the end of her nose. "You're being absurd."

"Am I? Then why won't you tell me?"

"Because there's nothing to tell. You're blowing this wildly out of proportion."

"Which one?" she repeated stubbornly.

She wasn't going to let this go. I let out a sigh, praying that it wouldn't increase her insecurity if I told her.

"Tanya expressed a little interest. I let her know, in a very courteous, gentlemanly fashion, that I did not return that interest. End of story."

She bit her lip and lowered her eyes. "Tell me something – what does Tanya look like?"

"Just like the rest of us – white skin, gold eyes."

"And, of course, extraordinarily beautiful," she added. I could hear the jealousy in her voice. Was this how she felt when I was jealous about her affinity for Jacob?

"I suppose, to human eyes," I shrugged. "You know what, though?"

"What?" she huffed.

"I prefer brunettes," I whispered in her ear.

"She's a blonde. That figures." I could almost hear her eyes rolling.

"Strawberry blonde –" I supplied, kissing her neck. "–not at all my type."

I made a trail of kisses from her temple to her collar bone, and with each pass, I could feel her displeasure melting away.

"I guess that's okay, then," she allowed.

"Hmm…You're quite adorable when you're jealous. It's surprisingly enjoyable."

She didn't reply.

"It's late," I said, kissing her temple. "Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."

I cradled her in my arms and began humming her lullaby. She resisted for a moment, but I smiled as she snuggled closer to me and closed her eyes.

I closed my eyes as well, so thankful to have her in my arms. In moments like these, nothing else mattered except for us. Jacob. Tanya. They didn't matter. It was just us. We were the missing pieces that completed each other's lives – neither whole without the other. I sighed in contentment as Bella drifted off to sleep.

A/N: Wow, I'm thrilled with the response to the last chapter. You guys are absolutely AMAZING! I literally smile like an idiot every time I get a review or someone adds my story to their alerts or favorites. Thank you everyone for your continued support and interest in this story.

Thanks to my beta NellyBear85 – couldn't do it without you girl! She gave me some great ideas for this chapter and encouraged me when I started to panic (like Edward). So much anticipation for the leg hitch scene, rewriting it made me VERY nervous.

Special thanks also to misticbutterfly, nubiancutie, and xXwritteninthestarsXx for their awesome ideas and support – you gals ROCK!