The Worst Possible Moments

By: Niiro Yuuyake

Warnings: Yaoi, Shounen-ai, Language, Possible Lemon, Lime, comedy, OOCness, etc.

Disclaimer: Niiro does not own YYH, nor any of its characters.

A.N.- Ahhh! Sorry for being so late! I have no real excuse except RL got in the way. Forgive me, mis amores? Anyhow, here's the update, late, but still here! I hope this chapter wasn't a disappointment. I tried, and rushed, but I guess that wouldn't be an excuse . . . Enjoy, anyhow.

Chapter 10: Hush, Little Dragon . . .

Hiei leered, "Heh . . . How so, indeed, Fox?"

I coughed, actually choking on embarrassment as Mother turned a bit, and looked at me.

"...Fox . . . ?" She questioned.

I sighed, mutely as she unconsciously changed the subject, "Petname . . . " I blushed, "I call Hiei, Dragon."

Mother nodded, absently looking around, "That's . . . nice to know, " She said awkwardly.

Maybe I should have kept that to myself? Either way, the subject was changed, but I needed to make sure it didn't stray back to any . . . embarrassing topics. Including why Hiei was in a skirt.

I'd rather not actually have to openly tell mother that we were having . . . intimate together time . . . and some girl-scouts came along and spotted/interrupted us. That would be more embarrassing than I needed to feel right now.

I had to think quickly.

So, I stood, and very quickly tipped my teacup, spilling some tea-though no longer as hot- onto Hiei's skirt. He jumped up, growling obscenities under his breathe.

"What a mess!" I said, quickly, "Come, lovely, let's get you cleaned up!" I pulled Hiei down the hall, into the closest bathroom.

Hiei growled and stumbled, but managed to stay upright, as I pulled him into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut. I could distantly hear mother call my name, though she didn't sound too alarmed, so I knew she was just curious.

Absently pulling a towel off the rack, I pecked a kiss on Hiei's check, "Please don't say anything, Dragon. I, honestly, don't think I could look my mother in the eyes if she knew exactly why you were in a skirt. I know she has a slight idea of what we were doing, but outright saying it, is like . . . is like . . . " I was rambling now, whispering out excuses for Hiei to keep his mouth shut.

Growling again, Hiei smacked my hands and the towel away, "Why should I? Just because you can't look her in the eyes, doesn't have anything to do with me and why I'm in a skirt." He snarled.

Sighing, I gently motioned for Hiei to sit on either to toilet seat, or the side of the bathtub, but he just stood there, motionless. So I took a seat on the toilet-lid down- and smiled sadly at Hiei.

"Koi, my mother is only ningen. Like any other, she expects certain behavior from me . . . She wouldn't expect m-"

"I'm not stupid, Kurama. I know how ningens think." Hiei spat, "But what does that have to do with me?"

I knew he was just messing with me, more than likely he wouldn't still tell mother about what we did, but still . . .

"Hiei." I started, "I would rather mother didn't know. She's . . . a very conservative woman, something like this could . . . be corrupting . . . " I smiled.

Rolling his beautiful ruby eyes, Hiei snorted, "Whatever."

Standing up, again, I smirked, "Now, since you're all dirty and sticky, we should really give you a bath . . . Don't you agree?"

Glaring, though mockingly, Hiei snapped his head away, "No." He lightly stomped his foot down, "I don't want to."

I snorted slightly, "But you're all dirty. I can't very well let you stay that way."

"We'll see . . . " Hiei mumbled.

When I reached for him, he flitted near the bathroom door. How he could move so effectively in this tiny bathroom was beyond me . . .

"Hiei, you really can't walk around sticky like that all day. You'll have everything stuck to you by nightfall."

Hiei snorted out a laugh and turned away, "I'll clean it myself."

I laughed as Hiei opened the door. But when he licked his finger, I immediately frowned.

"Oh no . . . Hiei, you can't!" I gasped.

He ignored me as he continued out the bathroom door.

I stayed only a moment after, thinking. Hiei was . . . -how should I say this, nicely? - a bit . . . wild. He was like a wild animal. He would kill(literally) before he would let anyone put him in a bathtub. But he'd gladly hop into a hot spring(who wouldn't?) or a lake, or river . . . or even lick himself clean . . . like he planned to do now.

Usually I wouldn't have a problem seeing Hiei licking himself, and purring(that was always a nice sound), but knowing Hiei, and his shameless attitude, he would probably do it in front of mother!

And though that may seem . . . savage . . . or even barbaric to her . . . it would only turn me on, and I would rather not have a hard-on in front of mother . . . again.

So, I calmly, stalked after Hiei. By the time I made it into the livingroom, again. Mother wasn't there. Hiei looked back at me for a second before nodding toward the kitchen.

I peeked into the kitchen, spotting mother. She was starting dinner, obviously forgetting about Hiei and me. Maybe she was just tired of me avoiding her questions . . .

I walked over to Hiei, but he flitted near the kitchen entryway, "Don't touch me, " He mumbled.

I Frowned, "Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"Hiei . . . that's hardly a reason." I sighed.

"..." He rolled his eyes, "So . . . "

"Hiei . . . "

"No."

"Dragon . . . you're being a baby . . . " I mumbled.

Hiei snorted, "So. I don't want to use your stupid ningen devices, and you can't make me."

I laughed slightly, "You're whining like a baby now . . . "

Hiei growled, "So what?"

Laughing, I said, "Koi, there's no reason to get defensive."

"I'm leaving," Hiei said.

"In all that rain?" I pointed toward the glass, back-doors, "You'll get soaked, no matter how fast you move."

Snorting Hiei turned his back to me, " . . . "

Taking my precious time, I walked up behind Hiei, "How about we just get comfortable, and watch the t.v. We could watch whatever you want . . . "

Hiei didn't say anything for a while, but eventually he grunted, and walked over to the couch.

Sighing in relief, I sat beside Hiei, in the middle of the couch, while Hiei sat on the end near the back doors-I think he just liked to be close to exits. For a while, I figured he was claustrophobic, but he proved me wrong by fucking me senseless in a closet in Genkai's temple . . . it was a wonderful experience . . . except when she opened the door and caught us . . .

I flicked on the T.V. and gave Hiei the remote control, to he could watch what he pleased. He flipped through the channels for a few seconds, before stopping on a show called "The World's Wildest Police Videos."

I stared at the show, watching as a few crooks ran from the cops in a high-speed chase, and ended up crashing and flipping their car over. Luckily, the announcer said, no one died. But those three crooks would spend years in jail thinking about how stupid they were . . .

Laughing slightly as the next cop-video came on, I noticed a movement out the corner of my eyes. It was a quick move, then slight movements afterwards . . .

So being as curious as the fox I am, I looked over to my right, at Hiei.

And lo and behold, he was nearly bent in half, licking his thigh! Licking his thigh!

I nearly choked on nothing, as I watched Hiei do that! "What are you doing!" I practically yelled.

I knew from the start that Hiei would . . . clean . . . himself, but I was at least expecting him to wait . . . I don't know . . . at least until . . . we were upstairs or something.

Thank Inari, he waited until mother left into the kitchen to do such a thing . . .

"What do you mean 'what am I doing'?" Hiei asked, "I'm cleaning myself. You spilled the tea on me, you should know I can't walk around sticky and such."

I shook my head slightly, "No. no, no, no . . . Hiei, koi, you misunderstand . . . I mean, why are you doing that NOW?"

Hiei looked at me as though I had a tentacle growing out of my head, "Because I'm sticky and filthy. I can't very well walk around filthy, Kurama."

"Hiei," I started, as he went back to licking his leg, "You're not supposed to do that i-"

"Shuichi, dinner will be ready soon, will your frie-" Mother stopped in her tracks. Just staring. Maybe it took her a moment to realize that she was, in fact, looking at her perfect son, sitting beside another boy, who was bent in half, licking his thigh . . .

But when she snapped back to reality, she blushed this horribly, most-likely unhealthy, crimson. "Uh . . . " Was all she said as she stared.

Hiei was first to reply, luckily it wasn't anything too . . . mean.

"What?" He snapped.

Blushing, but not as badly as mother, I pulled Hiei's head up from his lap, and fixed his skirt, "Oh Inari . . . Uh . . . " Thinking quickly I said, "Yes, mother, Hiei'll be staying for dinner. And if you don't mind, over tonight. It's raining horribly. He would have no way to get home . . . "

Not responding, Mother just stood there.

Pulling Hiei up off the couch, I whispered, "See? Now you have to take a bath . . . You've stunned mother into a daze!"

Hiei snorted, "No, I haven't. No one told her to walk in here and look at me. She stunned herself into a daze."

Tugging at the skirt, I said, "This wouldn't have happened it you had taken the bath like I asked . . . and this needs to come off . . . You're going to give me a nosebleed."

Hiei pulled away suddenly, while I was still tugging at the skirt, and like any cheap apparel, it ripped. Thank Kami-sama, it didn't reveal too much. Hiei's skirt went farther down his legs than mine had, so the tear only exposed about a quarter of his side-hip. Now, if he had twirled, or turned too suddenly, then surely the essentials would have been exposed . . .

But he hadn't. He just froze, then growled loudly, baring his fangs at me, "Look at what you've done!"

I glared, "If you hadn't pulled away . . . "

Snapping at my hand as I waved it near his face, Hiei growled again, "If you hadn't touched it!" Hiei hissed, "You wouldn't have torn my skirt!"

I stopped before any words could have left my mouth, and snorted on a laugh. "Your skirt?"

Hiei's eyes snapped open wide, and a very light blush tented his cheeks, "Shut up."

I laughed lightly anyway, but Hiei suddenly laughed also. "What's so funny?" I said.

Absently straightening out his torn skirt, Hiei said, "While you were too busy laughing at me, and your mother too busy staring off into space, the food was burning. And if you don't do something soon, the whole place will probably burn down."

I heard mother gasp loudly behind me. Turning, I followed her as she ran into the kitchen, but when we made it in there, nothing was on fire. As sensitive as my youko nose was, my ningen nose was less sensitive, but I could still smell the slight sent of burning . . .

Looking through several pots, mother quickly turned one off, and moved it off the eye of the stove. "I've seemed to have burnt the rice. Sorry, Shuichi."

Wiping away invisible sweat, I said, "Its okay mother. There's no reason to apologize. It was a simple mistake . . . you were just shocked by . . . " I looked away, back into the living room, where Hiei no longer was

"About that . . . " Mother started, "How could he-"

"Long story." I said quickly, "Let's just leave it at Hiei's flexibility stems back to training at a young age."

Mother nodded. Thankfully she didn't ask what type of training, because Kami-sama forbid I would have to say slipping into tiny holes to save his life . . . that would only bring up many more questions . . .

"Is it . . . Is it okay for him to stay?" Mother asked, hesitantly.

I nodded quickly blushing, "Yes, mother. Hiei and I don't-We would never do anything like that while you're here."

Mother blushed that bright red color again, and shook her head vigorously, "No, no, no . . . Oh Kami-sama no, Shuichi-dear, that's not what I mean . . . not what I mean at all . . . "

I Blushed again, "Oh . . . OH . . . Oh Kami-sama . . . sorry. I thought . . . I just thought that . . . oh, man, sorry."

Mother nodded, looking down at her hands as she fiddled with her thumb, "I mean would his parents be okay with him staying over without notice?"

I nodded. "Hiei lives with his sister in a temple with their mentor."

"A temple?" Mother asked, "What type of temple?"

Blinking I said, "What do you mean?"

"Well . . . " she started, "He's . . . he doesn't seem very . . . saint-like."

"Oh . . . well . . . his sister is studying medicine with their mentor, who's a herb-healer. Hiei is only there to be with his sister. He's a ver protective big brother."

"Oh . . . " Mother nodded, "I should make more rice . . . "

Yea, I thought, and I'll go find something decent for Hiei . . . as soon as I find him . . .

---TBC---

-The World's Wildest police Videos is really cool. You get to see stupid people try to out run the law, or try to rob a store and gets hot coffee poured on them. It's mainly a series of police videos where the crooks just kinda do crazy shit . . .

-Hiei hasn't left the house. Remember that it's raining horribly outside.

A.N.- Please! Everyone forgive me! I didn't think this time of year would be so busy! School is massacre! My second year of college is being a pain in the ass! But I must finish these fics for you all! My loyal reviewers! Thanks a bunch for the reviews. I can't wait to hear more from you all!

Also, this is NOT a promise, but planning, Next Update should be on: October 18. Remember now, this is only planning, I can't seem to make and keep promises anymore. Look for the update sometime on the evenings, that's usually my free time . . .