Chapter 10
The mood had been set, it was obvious. How far this pair had come, they had both been tormented into believing that this was something they were not allowed, they denied the connection and chemistry they could feel and the dragging force of their hearts pulling them together. How could they have believed that this would not be destined, they were looking for each other and this kind of love before they had even met. Tilly did not know any other feeling, it was her first time for feeling the effect of love and the aftershocks it can bring, Jen was a little more experienced by age but she too had never felt something like this, it was enchanting.
Tilly was completely immobile in shock, this vision before her was stunning to the eye, pleasing to the intense feeling running through her trembling body and enough to squeeze out any remaining air in her lungs. She was exhilarated and marvelled, and could not wait to take advantage of the offer welcomed in front of her. She tip toed over to Jen, cursing the floor boards creaking beneath her, and climbed her way seductively onto the bed. Jen did not move, she waited for the girl to take in the bare embarrassing token she had made for her, it was a piece of art indeed. Tilly ran a hand along Jen's shin up to her knee, the other hand ran over her hair line and across her face, removing the ribbon, she kissed Jen, a soft and thankful kiss. She really did appreciate the effort Jen had made, after the kiss she put the ribbon back onto Jen's mouth teasingly and smiled. Jen held out her card and Tilly took it opening it. It was a normal card with a happy birthday animated across the front, she opened it and it read "Hope you have a wonderful day, Jen Gilmore" Tilly turned the card over to the back and opened it again it wasn't the heart felt message she had assumed and a frown crossed her face. Jen smiled and blew the ribbon from her mouth, it landed next to her. She held out the parcel and her look suggested Tilly open it.
She took the gift and held it in her hands, what did she take, would it be something disappointing like the card had been she ungratefully thought. She ripped the paper and found two more gifts inside and another card, she opened the card excitedly she knew this one was the one, she took it out of the envelope and it had a simple heart on the front with a thank you scrolled along the bottom, she opened it to the centre " Happy Birthday my love, hope your have had an amazing day, and I hope im still awake when you read this. All my love, always and forever, until this heart stop beating, and maybe even after. Xx" there was a complete paragraph of x's along the bottom. She looked up at Jen and her eyes reciprocated how she felt, they were lost in each others. She put the card delicately to one side savouring it, it was not one to put up on the mantel piece at home but it was one she could keep, and re read when she was alone. A written declaration of love, it could not be erased. She looked back down at the presents, she took the first one and eagerly wanted to know what it was, she excitedly ripped the paper away again, and removed a box, she undid the ribbon and took off the lid, inside was a necklace, she pulled it out of the box and held it up to her eyes. There was two charms on it, one of a little silver paint brush, and the other of a tiny bottle, it contained sand. "I stole a little sand from Crosby beach, our first encounter so to speak. Its just so you can always keep the memory. And the paint brush is, well you love to paint and I know the sand will always inspire you in many ways to express yourself. So they go hand in hand. Do you like it, I can get you something else" Jen was panicked that it had been to soppy. "Its perfect, thank you" she ran her fingers over the necklace she was in awe, it was so far the best present she had ever had. She put it around her neck and did up the clasp, placing her hand over it, she really did love it.
Jen sighed a relief and reminded her there was more. She opened the second box and found a little key, she tilted her head confused, "What's this one, I don't remember anything on you needing a key ha, or is this metaphorical. Do I have a key to your heart or something" Jen laughed, "No it opens the cupboard next to my wardrobe, go and see" Tilly was excited this was like a treasure trail, she jumped off the bed and ran over and placed the key into the hole and turned, she opened the door and there was another wrapped gift, she took it out and placed it on the bed. This gift was bigger and heavy, she unwrapped it quickly throwing wrapping paper onto the floor. She stood back and looked at the present in front of her, it was a painting. It was Crosby beach, the Gormley statues, the water line and the descending sand. In the middle of the sand dune sat Tilly, drawing something on a notebook. She flashed back to that first day they went to the beach and remembered Jen drawing, she thought it was the normal hand or lip drawing but it had been her, the sly looks behind and smiles had been not only for the intention of just sneaking a flirty look but also to capture that moment so she could draw her. It takes raw talent to be able to draw something from memory or one or two looks, it was moving to know that Jen had spent so much time perfecting everything. The lines were defined and the little details of Tilly's hair and her freckles were to the spot, the water looked happy, personified. It was dancing to the sun light shining upon it, the picture was a capsulated memory Jen had kept "I just wanted you to see how much this meant to me, how much you mean to me. I want you to see yourself how I see you. Smart, inspiring and heart breakingly beautiful" Tilly smiled back a tear, she was temporarily stunned emotionally. She placed the painting to stand up against the wardrobe, she did not want any harm to come to it, she cherished it. She walked back over to Jen and kissed her, she meant every moment of it, this was the best birthday ever and she had made it the best.
She laid next to Jen just savouring the moment, the gifts had been so thoughtful and compassionate Tilly felt she wanted to get Jen a gift as a thank you, but what. "So birthday girl, you still have one more gift" Tilly looked over, what else, was she going to give her a box with her heart in. Tilly was a helpless romantic and she had been wooed. "Another gift, you are spoiling me Jen. What's this one?" she was still excited, presents were after all always exciting. "Consider it a paint by numbers type exercise" she flirted and placed the ribbon back on her mouth, she smile evident behind it. "I get you as a gift?" Tilly replied, she knew this moment, she had shared a few with the teacher. "For one night only im completely yours", Jen whispered "Just for one night, well that sucks" Tilly replied pulling a sad face but she was playing she knew this was like a sailors last night on land before they have to go back to command, she could not get the image of Jen in a sailor outfit carrying her, out of her head. She laughed, "Maybe not one night only but its only your birthday once a year" she replied, wondering why Tilly was laughing, "Well then we best make this night count" Tilly replied and leant in to devour Jen's lips, she did want this night to count, she wanted to remember it forever.
She released her grip on Jen's mouth catching her breath, there was no rush, this was not going to be a session full of lust it was love and they were making it. Jen was already naked so the teasing started immediately with Tilly's hands running all over her torso. Jen had already made a move at undressing Tilly, removing her dress over her head and flinging her bra and pants across the room, she held onto her hips as she straddled Jen kissing her neck and moaning in agreement as Jen pleased Tilly with her fingers, making the temperature in the room heat up. Jen was sat up with Tilly's legs behind her, she was sat in her lap, their arms were wrapped around each other, every part of each other was touching and again they were connected. Their kiss was passionate, their tongues circling in each others mouths, Jen's nails were leaving visible trails down Tilly's back as Tilly paid attention to Jen's breasts. They stayed in this position so they could see in each others faces what they were doing to the other. Jen's head was held to the right, as Tilly's hand was tickling behind her ear, she glanced at the painting and felt herself be taken away, she was completely lost in a higher state. Moans from both of them were obvious how much they were both enjoying themselves, and the thought of Diane being in the next room, possibly hearing them, was exciting. They forgot they were not alone and every so often they recoiled their screams, stopping briefly to watch for the door to open, it never did and they resumed making love until they had both climaxed bringing their hands and mouths together.
Jen laid back pulling Tilly back with her, they laid there smiling like they always did with each other, Tilly's leg was tiredly thrown over the teachers. Jen had her arm around Tilly almost like a triumph of conquest, "So.. How long is the return policy for that gift" Tilly asked laughing, Jen laughed and smacked the girls side, "Serious question though Jen" Jen looked over "What babe?", Tilly shifted so she was laying on her side and looking point blank at Jen her hand walking across the teachers stomach. "When's your birthday?" she laughed and Jen smirked, neither one could get enough of the other. They were headed in the right direction, there was no longer a dark passenger behind the wheel of their path.
The pair went to sleep, faces inches from each other and their insecurities tossed to the floor with their clothes. Tilly woke up to an itch on her nose, Jen was trying to stick the ribbon to it, she laughed "Morning sweetheart" Tilly smiles and yawned, "Mmm Hey you, I was dreaming of you"
The best feeling is waking to the person you love, the dreams in the night take you to another life, one where the other part of your soul is always with you, you dream what you truly feel and what you actually want. You hate waking if they are not there, every time it makes you further away from them.
"Why dream about me, im here" Jen asked, she often dreamed of Tilly, she laughed, she dreamed of Tilly every moment she wasn't with her, if she could not see the girl or even see her eyes she missed her. "Yeah I know that, but you wont always be with me" she meant it as in she wont always be able to stay over and lay in each others arms, but she felt the pang of grief. She may not always be with Jen, she may go to university, Jen's placement may send her somewhere else to teach. They could stay together but long distance was not something she could do, they couldn't even handle being apart for longer than a few hours let alone miles away. Her eyes were focused hard on piece of lose fabric on the bed, she picked at the frayed fabric and began pulling it, obviously she was fighting her demons again. She would do anything to have her in her arms every night. This was the love talking again, it makes you think the most impossible things, it gives you the illusion that you are liberated that you can fight the world.
"Tilly, yes in the future we may not be together…. Hey bear with me. I love you and never want to lose you it would kill me. Tilly don't hide your face, your eyes, they have brought me to my knees. plenty of times" she smiled she used the innuendo to try and return a smile to the girl of her dreams but she was being truthful, the amount of times when she wasn't allowed Tilly, she would catch her eye, her entire world would fall and she could feel the tremble of her legs, an eye, so small and insignificant compared to the rest of the organs in the human body but the only real port of our individuality and our soul. She stroked the girls cheek, "Even if in the future we go our separate ways, which unless you want that, it wont happen. Im always with you, even if im not there. Im in here" she held her hand onto Tilly's heart, and ran her thumb over her own. "No matter the ending babe, my life began with you". A tear exited both of their eyes and landed onto the sheet between them, correlating the space between them. They were so connected it hurt, they could feel the others pain.
After cuddling for an hour they both got dressed and made their way downstairs and saw Diane tidying, they forgot how much of a mess the living room was, balloons and party rings everywhere, they both hung their heads like minors and chuckled, it had been a good party had by all. "Hiya Till's did you stay over?" Diane asked questioningly. "Erm yeah I passed out in the bathroom and Jen found me so I stayed on her floor, hope that was ok Diane" she blushed a little, she was never good at lying. "Yeah just wish you had told me I would have made up the spare room hun. Nice necklace whose that from?" she walked over and run her fingers over it taking a closer look. "Its odd isn't it, cool though" Diane added. "Yeah I had it off a friend" she didn't want to say Jen had gave it to her she didn't want to cause any unneeded tension.
Diane went back to tidying and Jen walked Tilly to the door, she leant on the frame and smiled goodbye to the teenager, Tilly glanced around quickly and placed a kiss to her lips. "Thank you for my presents, I really did love them. Let me know when its safe for me to get the painting ok" she didn't want to risk taking that with her, everybody knew she Jen was the only artist in the house and it would be difficult to explain that one away. "Your welcome, I enjoyed them too you know" she wore her smile was so often across her face when she was with Tilly and it never wore out. Tilly hopped down the steps and turned "I will see you soon yeah?" she asked, hoping it wouldn't be too long, "Yep defiantly, I cant resist you for too long you know that babe. Il see you tonight though in my dreams" she returned "That's fine with me, do me a favour though" Tilly asked, "Anything babe, what?" Jen was curious. "Wear the ribbon" she laughed and winked at Jen and skipped away twiddling her necklace in between her fingers. Jen watched her walk all the way down the street and even after she was out of sight she stayed at the door with her hand on her neck smiling. She couldn't wait to go back to bed to dream of her.
Dreams are odd things, they can tell you so much of what you are thinking. The barest essential of your soul. A series of images, ideas and emotions run through your mind sub consciously, leaving you in a trance. They can enhance your feelings, making you feel outstretched things. Jen's dreams were influenced by love, she saw the images of Tilly and she felt that her purpose in this world was to make that girl happy until the end of time, be her air source. Inside her heart will do summersaults and her eyes burnt with fire, longing to see the images again. That day at the beach with the mist Jen looked up to the sky, in her moment of need she made a promise that if she could keep Tilly, nothing would blind them and her prayer was strong to her word. To spend the rest of your life without your love would be an eternity of wait. You have to open your heart to breath.