Back at home, I help Zack figure out where he's going to sleep. There's no extra bed or blankets, since I've been on my own. He opts to just sleep on the floor in my room, saying it's not the worst thing in the world. I can tell though, when he lies down, he's the kind of kid use to having a bed to lay in and a pillow beneath his head. Nothing wrong with that, as long as he knows sometimes, that's not always going to happen.

Closing the bedroom door, I light another cigarette and make my way into the other room. The room, with the single chair by the window, and the perfect view of the shore. Zack, is a lot like Amata in some ways. He's sort of naïve, doesn't really know the world too well, and I think expects some things to be done for him. I'm not sure, what happened to Amata after Charon and I left Megaton. We left her there, and never spoke of her again. Not out of spite, really, but because she no longer played a role in our lives. Because there were far more important, and far better things to talk about. She might still be there, I'll have to ask Gob when he wakes up.

Sitting in my chair, I smoke my cigarette in silence. The night is early, and I'm not sleepy. Gob and Zack, they drove this long way here for me. I can only imagine they must be tired. Looking down at my arm, I see the blank space where my Pip-Boy used to be. Since I took it off, when I first got here…I feel like I've been dreaming. Like this life, wasn't meant for me. In a perpetual daze, really. The life, I once led…that's the life for me. Filled with adventure, with romance, heartache, violence and witty humor. But going back, isn't an option. This is my life now. It's nothing, nothing what it was before. These feelings, dreams, all of this isn't what I was.

Standing up, I feel something I haven't felt, in five years. I feel alive. All the mistakes this life can take…I've made them. I've done all the wrongs, done all the rights, and now I think I can face the day once again. Walking to the kitchen, I lift the old Pip-Boy from the old counter. It's dusty, since I haven't touched it in so long. I've been sleeping for so long, and now…I think it's time…for me to wake up. Now, there's no one left to fight. There's no one left to love, but there's so much more to appreciate. When you've hit rock bottom, like I have, all you can do is wait. Wait, because soon, everything will change. Since there's no deeper down you can go, the only direction left, is up.

As scared as I am of waking, I know I have to do it. The life I ran from, it's time to face. Sliding my arm through the perfect circle of the Pip-Boy, I wait patiently. It whirs to life, lighting up the familiar dark and light green. I stand steady, still, as it closes around my wrist and forearm. It feels like an old friend, like Gob only…older. As my Pip-Boy recognizes my DNA, and slowly adjusts itself to fit me perfectly, and as my arm adjusts to having the weight back on it, I collect my thought. It's been so long, since I could hold my head up on my own, without the weight of it all dragging me down. When my Pip-Boy finishes, and when it's fully loaded, the first place I go to is my 'notes' section. Before my eyes, a picture of Charon appears. Gently, I run my fingers over it. I'll make him proud. I swear, somehow, I'll avenge his memory and live this life he's saved. It's been so long, since I've been able to fuck things up like I always do, but this time, I won't. I swear, this time, nothing will go wrong. I'll fight for every minute if I have to, and I know I'll win, so long as I have friends like Gob and Zack to support me.

"Hey, kid."

I lift my gaze from my arm to see Gob closing my bedroom door. He yawns, and I put my cigarette out in the old non-working sink.

"Did I wake you?"

"Nah, Zack did. He wasn't comfortable on the floor, so I handed the bed over."

I smirk, and lean against the counter. Gob comes and sits at the small kitchen table that came with the house. Believe me, I didn't go shopping or decorating. All that's here, was here before me. I made no new additions.

"You spoil him."

"He's my son. I have a right to."

"You spoil me, too."

Gob lights a smoke and raises an eyebrow at me.

"I haven't in a long time."

"Five years."

"Yeah. Zack was eleven I think, last time he saw you."

"Wow. Say it like that and you make me feel old."

Gob chuckles, and I smirk at him. Taking a seat across from him, I realize quickly I'm going to have to get use to having my Pip-Boy back on my arm. Seeing as how now, I can't rest my head on my left forearm.

"You're not old."

"Pushing mid-thirty."

"Remember, you're talking to a ghoul."

He's right.

"Call me crazy, Gob, but you might be right."

"That I am, kid. So how was it, living away from home?"

Shrugging, I stare upwards at the ceiling.

"Lonely, really, really, lonely. I thought about my life. About a lot of things."

"Of me?"

"Of course. So, you both missed me enough to come out here, and find me. Even after I did what I did?"

Gob flicks ash from the tip of his cigarette, and gives me a sideways glance.

"You've always had a way of blaming yourself for things you couldn't control."

"No I haven't."

"Alright maybe you haven't. Give me a break, your absence made my mind rusty on the memories."

"Fair enough."

"Who knows, Dez. Maybe things will change. It never hurts to be positive."

Although Gob is giving words of pearl wisdom, I can't seem to focus. I'm just staring at the ceiling, soaking in the thought of going back to the Capital Wasteland. I know after Zack and Gob rest, that'll be the option. To return with me, and start new. I suppose I should. I won't lie, I miss home. Home, meaning the Capital Wasteland and D.C. ruins. I know Gob will let me live with him, wherever it is he's living at. Until I get on my own two feet, that is. Who knows, though, maybe I'll just stay with him till this life of mine ceases to exist.

"Hey, Gob?"

"Hm?"

"You know what one of my favorite moments was?"

"What?"

I smile, remembering the moment. I haven't smiled, in such a long time.

"When Charon once told me a bedtime story. It was about a girl who wouldn't shut up, and got a swift kick in the ass."

"Ha! I take it he was referring to you?"

"Who else? Those were the days, you know. When me and him were hardly romantic but fighting the lust and love because we were too stubborn and hotheaded. You know, Zack asked about him tonight."

"I told him not to, figures he ignored me."

"No it was good. I needed…to talk about it."

Gob puts his cigarette out in the small ashtray on the table. I look at him, resting my elbows on the table. I'm surprised Cassidy hasn't come up. In both the physical aspect and Gob asking. My eyes meet with Gob's, and I sigh. Going back with him, means facing a lot of my past. It means traveling through areas, where memories between Charon and I took place. Going back to Megaton, where Charon and I had our first moment of intimacy. Emotional intimacy, I mean.

"I'm glad, then. Zack has a way of being nosy about him. It's an annoyance."

"It's called being a teenager. Oh god, you're really doing a great job at making me feel old."

Gob laughs a bit at this, and I run my fingers through my hair. It's thinned out with stress and age, and has this unkempt 'just-rolled-out-of-bed' sort of look. I like it. It suits me at this point in my life.

"That's not my intent."

"No, I know. Your intent is to bring me back to the Capital Wasteland."

"Zack say that much?"

"It's kind of obvious."

"So you going to come?"

Sighing, I wipe my nose with the back of my hand and stare at Gob. It's been five years. Five long, lonely, dazed and confused years.

"Do I really have a choice?"

"Nope."

"Where do you live now, anyways?"

"Megaton. Moria died a few years back, blew herself up during one of her experiments. Left the house and shop to Zack and myself. There's a spare room, too. You can stay there."

Wow. Moria dead. Can't say I'm shocked, though. She had a knack for screwing with dangerous things.

"What about Amata? She still live in Megaton?"

Gob nods, shrugging at the same time.

"I see her from time to time. She never comes to the shop, no reason to. She helps down at the Brass Lantern, think that's her job. Never leaves Megaton, stays below near the old puddle."

"Typical Amata."

"She'll be shocked to see you. Everyone will be."

"Let's keep me coming back below the radar. I'm not adjusted to society, Gob. I've been a recluse for five years. If I have enemies of any sort still, I don't want them to know where it is I'm shacking up just yet. Give me time."

"That's reasonable. I never thought you'd be the type to stick to solitude, though."
"I've always wanted it. Just, got sidetracked and fell in love. You'd be surprised, though, what you can do when you're in a hole as deep as I was. Still sort of am."

Gob reaches over the table, and puts his hand over mine. It's warm, and I like the feel of his coarse, ruined skin on my own.

"Listen, kid. What happened with Charon is the past. It's time now, you move on. Not sayin' stop loving him, but just saying maybe it's time to make yourself happy now. You've more than mourned for him."

"I get what you're saying. I wish there was a way, though, for me to…redeem myself I guess."

"Live happily. Its what he wants. Or would have wanted."

Gob's right, by all means. I take my hand from beneath his, and begin ticking away at my Pip-Boy. There's a bit of a lag to it, usual since it hasn't been used in a while. Figure by now, the thing would have been broken. But, I was given one of the best models. They last, and they're reliable. It's been so long since I toyed with technology, that I'm shocked I still have the abilities for it. I guess some things don't change, no matter how much you want them to, or how much you ignore them.

"I could use a stiff drink, when we get back to Megaton. How long of a drive?"

"A day or so."

"It took me like, two weeks to walk here."

"That's because you were walking."

I roll my eyes. The thought of going back there, is both scary and inviting. Restarting life as I once knew it, is always scary. Change in and of itself, is scary. The only reason I wasn't scared when I came here, was because I had nothing to fear. No one knew me, my past, of Charon or my actions. I could be who I wanted, adopt a new name and identity if I so chose to. But back home, Megaton, the Capital Wasteland, my face is recognizable. Everything about me, is known. It's a fear that I don't like, but a change I have to accept.

A knocking on my door breaks the silence. Gob looks at me, and I know he's wondering who it could be. Since he's closer to the door than I am, I nod and give permission for him to open it. He gets up and does so, and before us stands Cassidy. I knew it was a matter of time. I don't bother to get up, but instead, wave him in.

"Come in, Cassidy."

I say. Gob looks at him, angry and confused. Cassidy takes Gob's seat, while Gob closes the door. Walking over, Gob grabs an extra chair and sits beside me. I suppose introductions are in order.

"Gob, this is Cassidy. A pain in my ass for the past five years, and the only one willing to speak to me. Cassidy, this is Gob, an old and dear friend of mine from back home. His son is sleeping in my room, so be quiet."

The two of them don't shake hands. Instead, they glare at one another. Gob I'm sure suspects Cassidy is some sort of boyfriend or fuck buddy of mine, and I'm not sure what Cassidy thinks of Gob.

"Never known you to have visitors."

Cassidy says, and I sigh.

"Aside from you banging on my door, I haven't had any."

"What brings them all the way up to these parts?"

"Me. What else? The appealing array of farmed Brahmin and Jumpers?"

Cassidy shrugs and Gob looks at me. He doesn't know what Jumpers are, they're not native to the Capital Wasteland. They're sort of like dogs, only not. Like big cats, really. The size of dogs. They can jump really far, thus the name. Nothing to worry about, though. I never had any trouble with them.

"Ah well, I just wanted to see if you were alright."

"If that's all you came here to see, you sure did make yourself comfortable."

Cassidy nods his head, tossing out a look that shows he agrees with me. I sigh and put my hands on the table, waiting for him to say something. Maybe even, to explain himself a bit.

"Well Miss Fossum, earlier you said you'd be embarking on a travel. Still going?"

"I'm going home, Cassidy. And it's just 'Dez'."

Gob looks at me, confused.

"Fossum?"

"Charon's last name."

"Ha!"

I look back at Cassidy, and narrow my eyes. He gets up, knowing now his presence isn't fully welcome. Tonight is mine and Gob's time. Cassidy has had my attention for five years, despite how brief it's been. I have no more interest in this town, these people, or this home. Now, I'm returning to where it all started. Returning, to the place I've always called home.