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I woke up to the sun beating through the window on my face... It was kinda disorientating to be quite honest...
I yawned for a while and sat upright, the house was still very quiet... It was very still and peaceful It was nice to just listen to the sound of my own heartbeat... Really put everything in perspective...
It looked like a beautiful day outside, the sun was shining brightly; baking the sidewalk as it did so...
I yawned again and stretched out as I sat down, my back and neck were really aching something terrible...
I guess my head was still consumed with thoughts about last night; Sonic's outburst really upset me...
It wasn't his fault though because I guess he had been drinking with Knuckles and stuff...
Maybe i was just reading into it too much I don't know, I just felt so insecure about the whole thing...
I have a personal ambition to live my life honestly and honor the true love that I've had and also the people I've had around me. I want to stay hopeful, even though I get scared about why we're even alive at all.
I believe nothing happens by mistake. You know, the universe has a divine plan. People talk about bullying, but you can be your own bully in some ways. You can be the person who is standing in the way of your success, and that was the case for me. I'm okay if everything is honest and truthful and relatable. If it's fabricated and ill-motived, it's not good.
I'm competitive with myself, and that goes hand in hand with how I present myself. I'm not only trying to put one foot in front of the other, I'm trying to put my best foot forward.
I love what I do, and when I don't love what I do, I'll make a change.
Silence speaks so much louder than screaming tantrums. Never give anyone an excuse to say that you're crazy.
When you hear people making hateful comments, stand up to them. Point out what a waste it is to hate, and you could open their eyes. I think people inspire me the most. If I meet a person who is incredibly complex, and all of a sudden, I start thinking in rhymes, that person could be a muse.
I am alone a lot, which is good. I need that time to just be alone after a long day, just decompress and think over what went on...
I guess maybe i was more pissed by the whole thing than I would like to admit... I'm one of those people who can just take it in their stride though...
I knew Sonic would be fine by the time he woke up and everything would be back to normal again...
It was interesting to listen to the birds singing in the trees, really relaxed me and made me feel a lot better...
It was the simple things in life like that i really liked to cherish and hold dearly in my heart...
I don't want to abandon one work for the other, and I don't think I need to sacrifice anything to put my all into either one of them. If I don't think about it, it won't drive me crazy.
I think my biggest flaw is my insecurity. I'm terribly insecure. I'm plagued with insecurities 24/7.
I think the biggest reason I was able to express myself and not be intimidated was by not having a mother. For example, mothers teach you manners. And I absolutely did not learn any of those rules and regulations.
Sure Sonic taught me to be kind and accept people for whoever they were or what they were about; but still I could never learn to keep my mouth shut...
Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them. There is nothing so stable as change.
All I can do is be me, whoever that is, I change during the course of a day. I wake and I'm one person, and when I go to sleep I know for certain I'm somebody else.
I suppose when i thought deeply about what my life was all about it always managed to confuse me and throw me off the beaten track...
So many different things happen in life and most of the time you're ill equipped to deal with what gets thrown your way..
The meaning of life is contained in every single expression of life. It is present in the infinity of forms and phenomena that exist in all of creation.
When they say the sky's the limit to me that's really true, Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons...
There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.
Many people think they want things, but they don't really have the strength, the discipline. They are weak. I believe that you get what you want if you want it badly enough.
I've never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don't understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.
I think it's important to keep your personal life to yourself as much as you can. It protects your sanity and you need to have boundaries.
I think you miss out on a lot of stuff when you're so protected and isolated.
That's why i tried my best to socialise with the friends I had... I didn't wanna be alone and unhappy...
But no matter how hard I tried i always had that tiny niggling sensation at the back of my mind...
It was hard to ignore what little of my mother's hurtful words i could remember; it was even harder to not believe them with every fibre of my being...
I don't know if i was too sensitive about the whole situation but it still hurt my feelings a lot...
The wind had picked up by this point and the harsh ebbing heat had slightly subsided...
I just carried on staring aimlessly out of the window, watching the seagulls flying high overhead...
It was nice to just let my mind go blank and observe everything that was happening outside...
Really helped me to clear my head of everything that worried me which was good...
I suppose sometimes it's good to just think deeply for a while and put everything in a grand perspective...
I sat up slowly and walked over to the sink and poured myself a cup of water... I must get very thirsty while i sleep i guess.
I stood there for a moment just staring at the painted tiles; my life was coming so close and I knew it...
It didn't worry me though I guess; at the end of the day there's little you can do to tamper with fate...
My quiet little moment was soon interupted by two arms wrapping themselves around my waist...
"HOLY SHIT!... S-sonic you scared me..." I squealed, jumping... I turned around however and i had a nasty suprise...
It wasn't Sonic... It wasn't Chris Thornedyke either, it was Shadow... what the hell is he doing here?
"Guess again cutie... Sonic took Chris to Twinkle Park and asked me to babysit... Ohh and I intend to babysit alright.." Shadow chuckled...
I struggled to get free but his muscular arms fought against every squirm I made... I cried silent tears as he pushed me down onto the sofa... He sat down next to the kitchen table...
I just stared at him with cool eyes, my determination not to cry intense and unforbidding...
"So Tails... mmmn you look nice. I don't know how Faker hasn't touched you.. Maybe he has? Damn the thought is delightful..." Shadow laughed...
"Go away..." I muttered, i was barely able to contain the visceral hatred in my voice...
"But... but Tails I thought you and me had a special connection? I mean the way you screamed for your mother as i fucked you was beautiful, just beautiful!" Shadow mocked...
I tried to get up but he strode over and pushed me back into a sitting position, he walked back over to his seat and sat on it backwards...
"Tell ya what sweet little kitsune... If you don't make a fuss I won't hit you hard ok?" Shadow breathed hoarsely...
I just looked at my hands solemnly, he could easily beat me up he was 2 inches taller than Sonic after all...
I stared at the ground and was hapless as to why Sonic ignored how i had recently derided Shadow...
Sonic was a great friend but sometimes he just didn't listen which was very annoying...
"WHY CANT YOU DO IT WITH AMY HUH?! I DONT WANT TO!" I shouted loudly...
He just laughed a deep belly laugh, he sat back in his chair and really enjoyed it to the highest extent...
"Well i'll be honest Tails... I wanna fuck you! Yeah you heard it right.. Ultimate life form is pan-orientated... And I just so happen to want you to be with me!" Shadow replied...
He's mad there is no way in hell I would ever do anything like that, what an absoloute joke...
"Get the fuck out Shadow i don't care what Sonic said... if you so much as brush a hair from my face i'll strangle you like an anaconda with both of these..." I threatened, i tried to deepen my voice to no avail...
He slapped me hard in the face, the velocity sending me crashing onto the cold tile floor...
"What did you just say? Huh you're gonna strangle me huh? Ohhh Tails that bastard has made you into a repressed little bitch alright!" Shadow laughed...
I struggled as he held my arms down on the floor, I thought for sure he was gonna assault me at that point...
But he suddenly stood up and walked back over to the kitchen table, i held my legs to my chest as i sat down on the sofa...
"Well Tails, i thought you liked it! Hell you didn't tell me stop! It was almost like-... Ohhh no he didn't! OHHH NO HE DIDN'T! Wow... you are a fucking hypocrite..." Shadow exclaimed...
"What? What do you mean?!" I shouted in reply... He didn't answer me he just chuckled and held his ribcage...
"Sonic you filthy bastard... you fucking filthy bastard... Man what a pair of hypocrites dude!" Shadow laughed...
I just stared at the floor, Sonic told me if people questioned what we were about I should just ignore it... "Sonic isn't a pervert like you... if that's what you're suggesting!" I spat viciously...
"Ohh that's where you're wrong... I knew there was a reason your ass was so loose! Okay so tell me kid if it aint Sonic who loosened out that boycunt who the fuck did?" Shadow demanded...
He had really put me on the spot at this point, i didn't know what to say... I was so confused and scared...
"HUH?! ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF?! ANSWER ME!" Shadow roared...
I held my ears; i couldn't contain the tears by this point... He was right up against my face, i could see every eyelash in an almost high definiton kind of angle...
"IT WAS DR EGGMAN OK! IT WAS DR EGGMAN!" I lied, bawling as i did... Shadow stepped back and looked suprised..
"Ha... I knew there was a reason that guy loved gold lamee so much! Man what a bitch, that guy took your- oh my god vile.." Shadow rambled...
I stared at the floor and watched as numerous droplets of tears fell from my eyes...
"Okay fox i'll do you a deal... You lead me upstairs and make me cum and i'll go home right now.. Tell that prick i had a job interview or something; or I'll sit right here and if he gets home before I get laid you'll be in trouble..." Shadow threatened...
I just growled under my breath and kicked the floor with my feet... I didn't like people threatening me at all...
"I'll bite that thing off you hear me? Or i can snap it... You'll be amazed what i can do with these!" I shot back, pointing at my tails...
Shadow just laughed harder and flipped me the bird... I saw him smoke a marijuana cigarette for a few seconds before breathing deeply...
"Yeah baby i like it when you fight... Snap my dick all you fucking want! Man you're a phoney slut just like Rouge.." Shadow mocked...
"I AM NOT A SLUT! GO AWAY YOU RAPED ME!" I screamed at the top of my voice... He seemed startled by this...
"Rape? Nah I didn't rape you Tails... You walk into a guys house looking nice that's asking for it!" Shadow joked...
His innapropriate comments even lended themselves into such a garish situation as this...
"I'm fourteen years old and you're like... Shit i don't know 300 by now?" I muttered...
"I'm actually 72... I know amazing fucking abs right?" Shadow joked... He laughed his trademark silly laugh...
I just groaned and walked over to the sink, maybe i was dreaming and this was some abhorrent nightmare...
OHH GREAT IT ISN'T! Damnit i need to have big words with Sonic when we next are in each other's company...
"I don't care about your abs you fucking pervert... Get lost..." I taunted... He just giggled at me like i was some petulant fool...
"I'll tell Sonic ok? I'll tell the cops! If you fuck me they can look inside me Shadow!" I warned...
"Man you're a dumb bitch... Blonds! Sweetie I brought a condom dont worry.. Daddy gonna be gentle.." Shadow flirted...
I pushed his hands away and leaned against the draining board... I was starting to get really mad and incensed...
"GET OFF ME! Please... just go away!" I begged, unable to contain the fresh lake of tears running down my face...
Shadow just laughed and walked back over to the kitchen table, guffawing like a madman... "Well i guess i'll just sit here for a while then... Enjoy this nice uhhh Coors Light eh? Hmmn nice.." Shadow muttered..
I walked out of the room and ran straight upstairs into the bedroom me and Sonic shared... I sat down on the bed...
I held my face in my hands for several seconds, i wasn't really sure of what was going on at all...
My head felt like it had been put in a blender and i couldn't rationally think anything through whatsoever...
I didn't know what to say think or do... So i just cried, i allowed tear after tear to fall from my eyes...
Soon i could hear his rough footsteps on the stairs, I sat against the bedroom door so he couldn't get in...
"Hey pretty little fox let me in! You want me to tell Sonic you misbehaved?" Shadow taunted...
I couldn't handle it anymore, I just really couldn't... The anger rising in me knew no bounds...
"FUCK OFF! GO AWAY! IF YOU HIT ME I'LL HIT YOU!" I screamed against the door...
Soon however Shadow's foot came crashing through the door, missing my head by an inch...
I crawled against the bed as he kicked the door off the hinges... He stepped into the room over the threshold...
His face held a maniacal smile... "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEE'S JOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNYYYYYY!" Shadow guffawed... He stepped over the broken door frame and stood over me...
He pulled me to my feet by the ruff of my neck before harshly socking me right in the face... I winced in pain...
"Slut! That's what you get for playing hard to get... You want some big cock whore huh? Yeah you want cock!" Shadow raged...
He bent me over the bed and forced my legs apart with his hands, i gave as much fight as I could but it was useless...
He spat on his hands and worked his saliva into my hole, the wetness encroaching upon my insides...
Then without warning he forced every inch of his girth inside me, i screamed loudly as he did this...
"That's it cutie scream for Daddy... That's it bitch that's what i want.." Shadow grunted... He slapped my ass cheek as he said this...
I grunted and yelped as he continued to force his way deep into my tight little asshole, i couldn't help but become erect..
I didn't choose to; my body was simply reacting to the stimulation regardless of what I thought...
"Pl-please... Sh-Shadow please..." I begged between orgasm noises... He simply ignored me... I cried into the bedsheets as he continued to violently plow me, the spit had pretty much dissipated by this point...
Soon I could feel him erupt within me, he viciously rode me with rapture as he did... I just closed my eyes...
"AAAAAH!... Fuck... Phew..." Shadow breathed deeply, he pulled out of me with a pop and strode into the bathroom...
I felt kinda disgusted because i was kinda turned on and really horny; i had no idea why... Why did i feel like this?
I rolled onto my back and observed my hard penis; it was painfully hard as the tip was almost purple...
"Fuck i wanna cum so hard... shit..." I whispered to myself as I began jerking myself off... What the fuck am I doing?
Still my misgivings failed to interest me and I carried on violently masturbating myself, my tiny shrill cries filling the room...
As I raised my legs off the bed several loads of cum dribbled from my asshole onto the white satin sheets...
I merely picked it up and used it as a makeshift lubrication... I had no idea what had come over me; i was jerking myself off with the semen of a guy who just raped me...
Not exactly a pleasant situation i know, but the craziness of it all excited me and I dont know why...
"Ohhh well lookee' here... Man i knew you wanted it... Move those hands..." Shadow ordered...
Suddenly he took my cock in his mouth and sucked it right down to the balls... His nimble hands jerking me at the same time...
"OHHHHH... N'awwwhhhh..." I moaned shrilly, i felt like my cheeks were blushing but I couldn't be sure...
He just carried on working my prick with his mouth; the harsh wetness of his tongue on my penis was something i couldn't ignore...
"Cum in my mouth you slut... Do it now..." Shadow ordered... He began taking a rougher approach to whacking me off...
Suddenly i felt myself shoot a load... I arched my back as i let myself be claimed by the elusive orgasm i seeked...
Speaking of which; that orgasm? Well would it be sick to say it was the greatest one i had felt so far?
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh... mmmmmn..." I moaned as Shadow removed his mouth from the head of my cock...
He spat the cum on the carpet and worked it in with his shoes, he's so damn classy i know right?
"You wanna get fucked you cheap little hoe?" Shadow asked... Cheap little hoe? He might be right you know...
"Daddy I want it hard... I want more! Like you did it the last time..." I replied quietly.. Did that really just come out of my mouth?
"Okay baby you spread them legs for Daddy... Imma show you how much you mean to me!" Shadow ordered...
I did as I was asked and he struggled for several seconds to find my entrance, guess I need a haircut...
He slid it in a lot more slowly this time, working my sphincter for all it was worth... It was undeniable the pleasure i felt...
Was it wrong for me to suddenly be so turned on? Do other people react like this? I don't know...
"You ready for me to move? I'll be honest Tails i'm gonna fuck you pretty hard.." Shadow asked...
I nodded my head and he started to slowly grind my ass... I closed my eyes and tried to pretend it was Sonic fucking me instead...
I felt ashamed i'd get hard from a guy raping me like that, it felt unnatural and sick to me logically...
"Mmmmmmmnnn... yes your asshole is so fucking tight... Damn mmmn!" Shadow grunted...
He continued to speed up his pace, eventually he had reached a speed where i was afraid my pelvis would break...
Sadly though our rapturous sexual adventure was not meant to carry itself out on that day...
The door creaked open and in walked a figure, dropping a glass of water as they did...
Shadow carried on fucking me though, he obviously didn't hear it; i didnt' say nothing incase he hit me again...
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" A voice loudly exclaimed... Shadow quickly pulled out of me, his hard cock evident...
I looked up from the bed to see Chris Thornedyke stood in the doorway... Ohhh wow that's great...
Shadow quickly fled from the room and ran down the stairs... I realised that Chris had a perfect view of my erect penis...
"Uhh Chris... this uhh- this isn't what it looks like..." I nervously stated... Wait is Sonic downstairs too?! "I'm pretty sure about what I saw... Tails are you gay?" Chris replied in a breathy tone... No i just let guys fuck me up the asshole for a joke, damn rhetorical question there alright...
"Uhhh yeah Chris i'm gay... I didn't tell anyone cause well... Yeah..." I replied... Chris just stood there for a while, his vision of my dick now obscured by my hands... Chris just stood there...
"Chris do you wanna fuck me? Shadow was so close and I wanna cum... Please baby i'm hotter than a girl.." I asked walking over to him...
"What the fuck? Tails woah woah woah... What the fuck? Dude no..." Chris objected pushing me away from him...
Why didn't he wanna fuck me? Damnit wait, why am I trying to fuck Chris Thornedyke? Why am I jerking off after i was raped? WHY IS MY LIFE SO CONFUSING?!
"Please Chris... You can be my daddy and I can be your hot little fox slut!" I begged... I had little control over what i said, whatever had taken hold of me today was not done yet...
"Tails what the fuck? Please stop!" Chris replied with a scared tone in his voice...
"FUCK YOU I JUST WANT TO CUM! OKAY?!" I screamed back loudly... I sat down on the bed and burst into tears...
I didn't fucking care if he was watching i began to jerk myself off at a ridiculous speed, grunting as I did...
I laid down so I could slip my fingers inside my hole, yeah that's the stuff feels so good...
It was at this point however I noticed Chris had a boner underneath his jeans; the hot package visible...
"Fuck me Chris... I know you want me... Fuck me you bastard make me cum!" I ordered...
He quickly stripped off his jeans and began jerking his cock, nice cock I must add very big...
He then sauntered his way onto the bed but suddenly stopped, he looked at my body for quite some time...
"Tails this is my first time uhhh..." Chris stated, his face showing a nervous expression...
"Just put your dick in me and move back and forth... It's simple!" I groaned in reply...
He then strode over and positioned himself at my entrance, why am I doing this? Am I a sex addict is that it? It must be it, surely no one else behaves in this way? Chris then slowly worked his way inside; i gotta say the human penis is very uhh different yeah let's say different...
He had barely began to thrust inside me when he prematurely ejaculated... He looked nervous after that point...
"S-sorry!" Chris quickly exclaimed, he sat down facing the wall, he seemed pretty embarassed alright...
"It's cool when you get hard we can try again." I flirted, doing that thing with my eyelashes that drives Sonic wild..
Guess it works on Chris too which is fortunate for me I guess... Depending on what angle you look at it from...
I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing all I knew was that it felt right, and that scared me to no end...
Perhaps I was just reacting badly to the whole crazy Shadow situation and stuff I don't know...
All i knew was I had a desire inside me that I couldn't satisfy no matter what I did... It was frightening...
Soon Chris was erect again and I had no idea what to do; i wanted to say no and change my mind but i knew it was way too late for that... What if he told Sonic about the Shadow thing? Hang on where actually was Sonic?
"So Tails you wanna go again?" Chris suddenly asked... Did I? I really didn't know; my head was so divided...
"I-i... I don't know..." I replied sheepishly, I felt so stupid that i'd been behaving the way I had...
He just looked at me with a confused expression for a few brief seconds, his eyes directly fixed on mine...
"Look just forget I said anything... Go ahead..." I blurted out... I'm so bad at making informed decisions...
He then put it back in me and I closed my eyes and let him have his way with me; i'll be honest the lack of experience turned me on...
I didn't know why I felt like i did, the thought of it consumed me at the time i'll be quite honest...
Chris didn't last long the second time round either, which I guess was good because i felt confused about the whole thing..."That was amazing Tails... you were great..." Chris suddenly said breaking the silence...
"Thanks... I think you should go now Chris; Sonic wont be happy about this... We shouldn't have done that.." I muttered..
"What?... Ummmmm... Shit ok.." Chris replied quietly, he put his jeans back on and made his way downstairs...
I heard the door shutting slightly afterwards; man was that fucking awkward or what... Awkward for sure...
I quickly ran into the shower and stood underneath the almost scalding water, I needed to wash away the taint Shadow had left on me once again... How the fuck does he manage to hypnotise people like that? I don't understand it..
I just hoped Sonic would be home soon so everyone could be back to some kind of normality...
Not that our life together was ever normal, not with various crazies running around causing mayhem...
Sadly i felt just as crazy as the best of them right now; i'd just betrayed Sonic with two different guys in less than an hour...
What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe my mom was right when she told me i wasn't right and despicable...
The hot water helped me to stop thinking for a while, I heard the door opening downstairs...
"Tails? Chris? Shadow?" Sonic loudly called... Ohh shit he's home early...
"UHH I'M IN THE SHOWER SONIC! I'LL BE DONE NOW!" I yelled loudly...
I quickly towelled myself down and put my gloves and shoes on; i made my way down the stairs slowly...
Ohhh wait shit, Chris came all over the bed; i totally have to deal with that right now...
I quickly ripped the sheets off the bed like I was a cop searching for narcotics, my frenzy knowing no bounds...
I quickly bundled it all up into a ball and carried it downstairs; luckily Sonic wasn't in the kitchen so i threw it in the washing machine...
"Hey Tails... Where's Shadow and Chris?" Sonic asked casually as he walked into the kitchen...
"Shadow had an appointment for a job... Chris said he had stuff to do okay?" I lied in a hoarse tone...
"Damnit I asked Shadow to make sure you were ok... he wasn't drunk was he?" Sonic asked...
Ohhh he was drunk alright, man was he drunk... I could still smell his liquor on my neck and my thighs...
"No he wasn't drunk bro... How are you?.." I deflected... Hopefully he'll stop talking about it right now...
Sonic leaned against the draining board and just sighed; he seemed kinda moody and distant lately...
"I'm fine my head is just really hurting... That damn alcohol is no good!" Sonic laughed...
"Ohh baby i'm sorry... You wanna talk about it?" I smiled... I tried to sound enthusiastic and happy...
At the moment I just felt weird; I felt like I had no control over what i said or did... Maybe i should ask Sonic if i can see a therapist?
"Not really T... shall we eat something? Order a pizza? OR HEY! Tell ya what pal i'll take ya somewhere nice!" Sonic replied...
"Ohhh god Sonic you cant take me somewhere nice... That's so nice but we have no money." I answered, we weren't financially in the red but still had to be cautious...
"Tails you're such a nerd... Let Uncle Sonic worry about the money kid; how about we go to that Italian place?" Sonic chuckled..
"Okay Sonic if you insist... Fine! Oh my god fine..." I laughed... He had managed to lift my dull and sombre mood...
Sonic told me to make sure all the windows and doors were locked so Knuckles or Amy didn't just make themselves at home; i'm sure they didn't do it to be rude... Yeah I don't like Amy ok but i like Knuckles and he'd never be rude to anyone unless they insulted him first so...
We made our way down the street, we were walking quite slowly which was unusual... Sonic usually liked to get places very fast or not at all...
"S-sonic why are we walking? Are you ok? Did I do something wrong are you gonna yell at me?" I asked quietly..
"Hell Tails chill the fuck out man.. I wanna enjoy the fresh air! Be glad to be spending the day with you instead of that fat old asshole Dr Eggman!" Sonic replied lamely, he completely cut off my train of thought...
"O-ok... Sorry..." I quietly answered... I felt kinda nervous and unsure; I didn't know what to think about the events of my day so far...
I guess my life had just been coming closer in a really profound way of all a sudden... In less than a week i'd be 15 years old...
Soon Sonic got bored of his slow walking speed; I could see his face contorting in boredom and disgust...
"Tails ok I changed my mind, think you can keep up with me?" Sonic rhetorically asked...
"Well if I can't the newspaper editor is a lying piece of shit so..." I sarcastically remarked...
"Ha... Man i rub off on you way too much, shit ahahah.." Sonic laughed in a benign fashion...
Soon I was gliding behind him; yeah i can't really see Sonic if i'm too high up all that well, I usually limit myself to 75 foot...
Which is difficult because there is nothing like looking at the top of the clouds, I can remember years ago when i consumed enough to first achieve it... It was; I can't explain it you i'm sorry you can't fly, don't wanna sound mean saying that or nothing...
Pretty soon we stopped to take a short break; Sonic didn't need to, he just wasn't the type to get fatigued...
I had started to though, I mean i'm in peak health but I do like to occasionaly binge on candy and stuff...
I sat down on the edge of the traintracks, it wasn't the same line I had walked down with Chris... Ahhh shit man I don't wanna think about Chris...
His first time was with me and i'm dating someone and i'm gonna have a real hard time- in fact let's not even go there...
Sonic sat down next to me; I had the impression he could sense I wasn't at ease with myself...
"Tails are you ok? You're so quiet and stuff... You aint spoke i usually gotta tell you to shut up haah.." Sonic asked..
"I'm fine... let's just go to that nice Italian restaurant ok? I'm fine Sonic oh my god you need Xanax.." I joked...
Sonic fake punched my shoulder and told me to shut up, he helped me up off the ground and within seconds we were continuing our journey...
Station Square seemed kinda quiet, well the suburban parts of it anyway... They usually bustled with life; various people just doing their shit casually... It was kinda weird but well I guess I should quit interfering and being a Mrs Kravitz...
Soon we were outside Angelo's, it was a pretty nice Italian restaurant and i'd heard rappers and their whores eat here...
I couldn't believe Sonic would take me to such a nice place; i felt like in my recent stint of horny abandon and wild infidelity I didn't deserve it... I suppose Shadow pressured me into fucking him though and well Chris was around when I was in the final throes... I didn't wanna hurt Sonic like Amy did, I did not want that at all...
But I guess I couldn't deny that when it came to sex I had really little morals, I suppose to be discovering my own sexuality and my nature as a proto-nymphomaniac in such a recent and profound light had affected me?
Why was I like this? I mean I felt like this way before I had sex with Sonic; way before Shadow assaulted me in his dingy bent up little house...
Maybe it was all the trauma i had endured in my early childhood, I mean that's the shrink way of putting it right?
But i'm not a shrink, i'm a fox with a talent for fixing machines and a lifetime of stories to talk about...
Anyway how about we get back to the story? Sure you people wanna hear it right?
"Hey you're that dude uhh Sonic right?" The guy at the front of house said...
"Yeeees that is me... How ya doin guy?" Sonic asked in a friendly tone... The guy just looked awestruck...
"Sonic whatever you want on the house... Here take this bottle of vodka, just allow me to wipe my mouth from the cap.." The guy hilariously exclaimed...
"Yo bro you keep that vodka ok? You need it... I'd just like a reservation at the back okay?" Sonic replied, suprised by the man's insane devotion...
"ABSOLOUTELY MY LORD! Uhhh uhhh.. KARISSA! KARISSA! WE HAVE A CELEBRITY KARISSA GET IN HERE!" The guy shouted to his left...
In walked a tall beautiful fox girl... She only had one tail; maybe my mom has something wrong with her insides i dont know...
Funny thing was it actually benefited me; fuck those stupid kids i'll beat them up if i ever see them again...
"Larry for god sake give me that... Ohh hi allow me to show you to your table!" Karissa motioned us to follow her...
"LONG MAY YOU LIVE SONIC!" The guy yelled as we walked away... What a fucking wacko.
We followed Karissa amongst a sea of beautiful women dripping in gold and diamonds, what the hell was this?
I feel that song by Jennifer Lopez coming on in about seven or eight seconds... I didn't feel comfortable...
I'll always be that dirt poor little fox in my heart, and these people could pick up on that... I did not like it...
Did not like it one bit at all, people soon started staring... They recognised Sonic and myself quite obviously...
"Sir here's your table... Please excuse Larry, my god the guy is a fucking nardo... and a complete retard..." The girl laughed...
She walked away to go get the menu, i turned to my right to see several people looking me up and down...
"Fuck off you bitch what the fuck are you looking at?" I snapped... Woah i just swore... Why did i do that?
"Tails! Tails! Damnit... sorry lady..." Sonic muttered... The girl turned away and mouthed something to her heavily made up companion...
Soon Karissa the waitress was striding back over to us; sadly Sonic's obsessed fan from the front of house followed her..
"Larry insisted that I let you guys talk to him... Here's the menu; if he starts to piss you off come and get me and i'll get my boss.. Thank you have a lovely night at Angelo's.." Karissa half-assed rambled... She obviously disliked her job and her superiors...
"Sonic I just want an autograph! Tails you've really grown... You look nice!" The guy ranted...
"Sorry? I look nice? Well that's great do you wanna fuck me? Wanna be my daddy and stuff"? I taunted...
Sonic and the guy just looked at me as if i had revealed myself to be an agent for the Islamic State...
"Huh is that what you want buddy? You wanna fuck me and touch my dick and make me cum real good is that right?" I continued, i had adopted a vague movie starlet style tone of speech as i laid into the crazy waiter guy...
"TAILS! STOP IT!" Sonic shouted as I finished my sentence, everyone had turned around to look now...
I was too far gone i had risen to my feet and started slapping the guy in the face with both of my tails, i had lost sight of all reality or conduct...
"HUH DO YOU WANNA FUCK ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT?! YOU BASTARD! FUCK YOU I DONT LOOK NICE!" I screamed directly in his face...
Sonic yanked me away from the guy and dragged me by my namesake out of the restaurant...
"Sonic owww you're hurting me! Owww!" I complained... He wasn't really hurting me but it pissed me off...
Pretty soon we were outside on the street, Sonic was dragging me by the arm now as far away from the restaurant as he could...
"Tails what the fuck was that? Why did you say that to that guy? You hit a random person!" Sonic chastised...
"That guy just made me mad Sonic ok? Let's go home okay? I just wanna go to sleep right now..." I quietly answered...
He picked me up like he used to years ago and before too long we were speeding away at the speed of sound...
It never bored me to see the various landscapes whizzing by; it fascinated me in fact... Everything about him fascinated me a lot...
After what seemed like 2 minutes we were stood outside our house, I would like to give it a fresh paintjob but apart from that I think it's reasonably cool and well furnished...
Sonic told me he was gonna go take a shower... I sat down on the sofa in the lounge... The madness and atrocities of my past and the lingering doubt i held had definitely got to me... I fought hard to remain true to who and what I was...
I don't know why I freaked out on that Larry guy ok? I really don't know why... I guess the culmination of two sex acts i was not fully aware of or in great mental state to comprehend had driven me over the edge for a few sparse seconds...
But apart from all that I felt reasonably happy... I mean Sonic was okay so I felt okay too, I felt good...
I guess I just needed to calm the fuck down... I was still just upset though by the way my morning and general day was disrupted... I pretty much coerced Chris into having sex with me after Shadow raped me... Not a pleasant thing to have to talk about I know...
Sonic would be so ashamed of me if he ever even had but a inlking of what had transpired... I don't know what the fuck I was going to do... My head had been jumbled like a faulty car battery...
I don't know if I was having a nervous breakdown or something; all I knew was I had felt different in these coming days...
I guess people like to make a sexual awakening all innocent and romantic but it didn't feel like that to me at all...
I knew I had met my worst enemy; something far more sinister and banal than Dr Eggman...
I was fighting an internal war with the machine that was my mind; it's companion my insatiable lust...
I didn't ever choose to be like this; I can handle playing for the other team but I don't know if I can handle the fact my sex drive works overtime...
I mean even Sonic backed up that notion, he told me i was like a succubus.. He meant it in a flirty kind of way but I could only take it with a pinch of salt...
Perhaps the only difference between me and other people was that I've always demanded more from the sunset; more spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon. That's perhaps my only sin.
I guess that maybe i was too much work for Mommy; maybe she couldn't stand that God gave me the type of independance people only dream of, the type of freedom only thought of in art...
We elevate those who say right but mean wrong, and mock those who say wrong but mean right...
Maybe I wasn't wrong but society would like to say that I was wrong; that's what pissed me off I guess...
Who perhaps is happy when all is said and done? That's my big question... The one i've yet to find an answer to..
I guess maybe I was expecting some big realisation? Some massive unencumbered truth covered in a foundation which would shatter me to my core? Maybe I just asked for too much...
My theory is that the people who cut the nails of the left hand first, they are more light-hearted. They have a tendency to enjoy life more. Because they go straight for the easiest task and save their difficulties for later.
I suppose i just wanna confront the difficulties head on; which might be seen as insolent by some people...
I guess I was just travelling on an open road with no set destination or objective... I suppose my course in life was not set as of yet; and that kinda worried me a little...
Pretty soon Sonic came strolling into the living room with two plates full of chilli dogs... Think it was fair to say we were a pretty chilli contested duo alright...
He was kinda silent; i hope i hadn't pissed him off with that whole fiasco at Angelo's... I just didn't like the way that guy talked to me at all, it reminded me of the way Shadow talked to me... I suppose Shadow is right I am a hypocrite; i didn't put up much fight when he forced himself on me and I guess i was kinda asking for it...
I just didn't want Sonic to know about any of that sordid muck; or anything about the whole me taking Chris' virginity thing...
Man was that whole Chris thing a mindfuck or what? I didn't know how to best describe it in plain English...
All I knew was my inner sexual being had conquered me; maybe that was the insidious voice that spoke to me the night after Shadow attacked me? I dont think it was my conscience cause I don't wanna hurt or cause pain to anyone...
That's totally not in my nature whatsoever; I am not a violent person whatsoever in any way shape or form...
"Tails... Look i understand that guy was a jerk but you really scared me... Little buddy you were acting like a psycho.." Sonic suddenly spoke up...
"Well maybe if people didn't make comments that border on harrasment to me i'd be a lot nicer... By the way Sonic you could have totally talked to that creep! He was hitting on me!" I shot back in my defense...
Sonic just facepalmed and leaned against the adjacent wall, his brow was furrowed with sweat and a look of blatant anticipation...
"Tails look you gotta learn to ignore stuff like that... How do you think I feel putting up with Amy stalking my social media and emailing me bullshit?" Sonic grunted...
"I CANT IGNORE STUFF OKAY?! DAMNIT! Did you forget what I went through?!" I yelled...
Sonic just sat down on the sofa across the room, i put my raised hands to my chest and sat back down...
He was gonna say something but caught himself at the last minute, before deciding on a new response...
"Tails look y'know Shadow yeah?" Sonic began... I knew where he was going with this...
"Shadow was great... He wasn't drunk and we played Xbox..." I lied quickly...
Sonic was no fool; he might be slow to catch on to things but he is no fool whatsoever...
"Tails look Shadow has a thing for boys your age... Did he touch you?" Sonic probed further...
Well he did a lot more than touch me to put it quite briefly, damnit why is this all so confusing...
"Wh-what? No Shadow isn't gay... At least I dont think he is.." I lied further...
Sonic gave me a look of confusion and then went back to wolfing down his chilli dogs...
I was so glad he hadn't questioned me further, I had no time to discuss the sordid details of my midmorning lust adventures...
When had I slipped to Amy's level? Do all rape victims go on a sexual bender? I don't know but that seemed to be the case with me...
"Tails look i'm sorry about accusing you of sleeping with Chri-" He began...
I couldn't resist bursting into tears... I couldn't handle the disgusting twisted lies i had to keep to myself...
Sonic put his arm around me and allowed me to cry on his shoulder... I did so for quite some time...
"Don't cry Tailsy... Hey come on bro chill it's ok..." Sonic whispered rubbing my shoulder blades...
I wiped my eyes and stared at the blank unpainted walls of the hallwway, yeah the wallpaper in there is slighlty uneven..
Think it's fair to say Joel Masner's Building Supplies sucks absoloutely ass... Yeah he's a painting guy in town...
"S-sonic i'm fine... I just have another of my migraines, maybe i should talk to a therapist?" I replied...
Sonic just rested his huge emerald eyes on me, his focus determined and unblinking in it's form of resolute seduction...
"Sure Tails we can arrange that... I know the perfect guy; i talked to him after the whole Fi-" He started...
"Sonic i didn't like her... Fuck sake... Erghhh..." I moaned, putting my head in my hands...
Needless to say Fiona Fox was this chick me and Sonic were friends with; she was kinda a slut and she tried to like use the two of us to buy her cute stuff... "Ok... Ok... But yeah that uhhh that uhhh guy yeah he's good..." Sonic mumbled...
"Let's go to bed Sonic; I don't wanna fuck I just wanna go to sleep, feel you next to me..." I replied smiling...
He giggled for a few short seconds and nodded his head, his spikes shining in the false artificial light given off by the TV...
"Sure you don't wanna fuck?" Sonic asked laughing... I don't know I think i've had way too much sex for one day...
"Nah baby, when you wake up though... Well shit that's a different story!" I giggled in response...
We both walked upstairs, switching off numerous lights as we did so... The house wasn't big it just like a lot of furniture and electrical stuff going on...
I got into bed first, I laid my head down on the pillow and slowly removed my gloves and socks...
Then Sonic did not 5 milliseconds afterwards, he sighed as he did so... He was obviously worn out by my inane outburst at that Angelo's place...
"Sonic I love you... Goodnight..." I whispered, my eyes half open and burning from dryness...
"Goodnight my cute little fox... You better hope you sleep in i'm gonna ravage that fine ass..." Sonic joked in a tired tone..
"I'll wake up nice and early for ya... Night big bro..." I replied laughing... He likes to flirt with me it's cool...
"Yeah goodnight Tails ya damn wiseacker... Hahahah shit..." Sonic responded...
All I could see out of the window was the eternal dance of a billion unguided stars, their light like angels dancing upon a sea of black grandiosity too far for even a computer to comprehend...
I looked at the various constellations, I needed to sleep so baaaaad... It was unreal...
I could see Orion which was cool, yeah you stay where you are Orion I need to sleep alright...
I was just glad Sonic was by my side and everything was okay; and intruders such as Chris and Shadow had found their own way... Well maybe that's the wrong terminology but i'm the fox writing this thing not you...
I just listened to Sonic's deep snoring and focused on the endless celestial sky...
I actually feel kinda sleepy for once, isn't that just neat?
Sleep shall consume me properly for perhaps the first time ever... I look forward to that indeed...
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A:N/ Hey guys so yeah i've finished Chapter 10... Don't even ask how busy i've been omfg lol crazy... Umm yeah so basically i hope y'all enjoy and stuff cause I really enjoyed writing it alot... Please remember to share your thoughts and review...
Also a big thankyou to all of my fabulous fans/reviewers thank you very much...
Leanna "Lili" Coleman...