Chappy 10 - Camarero, Camarero, Me Traes El Menú

Hey guys! Disclaimer and such! Now go ahead and read!

Woah there someone's in a rush!

Ha, I just think this chapter is hilarious! I really like the dinner part you wrote!

Aw thanka, you are seriously blazing through this fic, I love it, it's amazing!

Ohohohoh stop, you're making me blush! =^ 3 ^=

Lol, okay y'all enjoy the Jello filled second to last chapter!

Or is it the third to last…

James stood there, stupidly, his mind racing. Okay, so he likes guys. How have I not noticed? I mean he hasn't ever showed a bunch of interest in a particular girl. But I thought he was just a player. I guess I was wrong. Wow, I really had no clue!

Sirius turned back to the window. He whispered something barely loud enough for James to here, "So now you know, and can reject me just like my family."

James not knowing what to say, simply let his actions speak for themselves. He wrapped his best friend of years into a hug.

"Sirius, your sexuality won't make me treat you any differently. What kind of best friend do you take me for? I won't judge you, I promise."

Sirius turned around and gave James the first real smile he had for a whole week. "Thanks."

"Now,", James said smirking, "Tell me about this Davey Gudgeon!" A mischievous grin sneaking back into his eyes.

As Sirius talked, James let his mind wander. He supported Sirius and, according to Lily, this Davey liked him back. So, all that was left was getting them together. Looking back on his previous plan, James realized he may not have been as much of a genius as he thought. So what else was there to do but call together his best team. He decided they'd have a squad meeting tomorrow.

James woke up much earlier than he normally would, eager to get his best friend a boyfriend. Heading down to breakfast, he was pleased to see everyone he needed to help him already awake.

Doing his best to look cool, James strutted up to the table.

"You're up early," Remus commented not looking up from the book he was reading.

"I need Lily and your help!" James said, waving Lily over. Although Lily at first looked skeptical, she eventually made her way over to the two boys.

"What do you need, James?" Lily sighed.

"Well, I know that both of you already know about Sirius," James said giving them a meaningful look, " And I want to help them get together, but I don't have enough skill at making plans that work." James said the last part quietly with a slight pout.

"My my, the great, magnificent, James Potter admitting one of his many imperfections! I'm shocked!" Lily gasped.

"Haha, hilarious! Now will you help me?" James said, impatiently. Lily coughed and it sounded suspiciously like she had said, "And delusional."

"I see nothing wrong with helping you as long as we're not too forceful, it has to mostly be them after all," Remus said, always the voice of reason.

"I'm in, I've been trying for two weeks to get Sirius to confess. So I think more action needs to be taken."

After that the three started scheming, wanting the plan to go perfectly.

"I have it! We should trap them in the broom closet," James said, jumping up from the table.

"James, that is the most overused idea ever, we aren't using it!" Lily said, still smiling.

"Fine then, I say we use the Room of Requirement and - " James started, before Lily cut him off.

"No."

"Kidnap them and feed them cheese until they're too full to move."

"What? No."

"Fly them up to chandelier and tr-"

"No."

"Push Davey off of the astronomy tower and have Sirius catch him on a broom."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Dangerous. And illegal."

"Feed them love potion."

"No."

"Felix so Sirius feels lucky and asks him out."

"No."

"Lead them into the Forbidden Forest - "

"Because the atmosphere is just so romantic there?"

"Stop flirting, you two, I know just what to do," Lupin sighed and whispered his idea to the two idiots in denial.

Lily, still blushing, only managed to nod her head. James, with a ridiculous grin, that he was clearly trying to hide, agreed wholeheartedly. Sirius walked into the dining hall and the impromptu meeting dispersed. All were excited for the madness that will ensue during the coming weekend and knew their new OTP was likely to become canon with them on the case..

A few planning filled days later, it was finally the weekend - which meant that it was time for Operation: Get Sirius a Boyfriend (and in James' mind - Also, Get James a Girlfriend *ahem* Lily *ahem*). The Operation was to take place in the hopefully empty Gryffindor common room, with Remus hiding in the shadows as back up, Lily commanding the agents, and James as the waiter - in disguise. The Operation was wonderfully detailed and, James thought happily, it all started with one note…

Yoooooooo my mmaaaannnn

Hey Sirius it's your mmmaaaannnnn and I wanna help you get some aaacccctttiiiooonnnnn ;) ;D ;3 come to the GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM - even tho I'm DEFINITELY not a Gryffindor (GO LIOOONNNSSSSSS) - at 6:00 pm SHARP bring your wittle (Huffle) puff (GO BADGERSSSSSSSSS) there will b romantic dinner waiting for you and your maaaaannnnnn (not me of course silly I meant your other maannnn). See you sssssooooonnnnn ;p ;p ;p !

Ja YOUR MMAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN

PS: I hope your date likes him some SQUISHY DESSERTSTUFF!

James was very proud of this note and he spent a long time scribbling out the "Ja" he had accidentally written. Lily and Remus were completely wrong in their view of the note being too obvious and stupid - whatever that meant. James huffed. They were such haters. And then, James remembered. He was supposed to be getting his best friend a boyfriend only an hour from the present time! Now was not the time to dilly dally around! Just wait until James Potter sallied in on a metaphorical stallion with the first boyfriend Sirius Black had ever had (probably the first?)!

It was five minutes before six pm and James couldn't stop wiggling around, much to the annoyance of his future girlfriend (probably future?).

"Merlin's beard, James, stop moving around so much! I have to finish your disguise!" Lily reprimanded, foot tapping on the floor nervously. She leaned in again, pressing an eyeliner pencil, forming the lines of a very distinguished mustache. James sat still for another moment until Lily was done with the disguise. James looked fabulous, and that was where the resemblance to the normal James Potter ended. Waiter!James had blonde hair, a long beard, a curly mustache, and way too much rouge on his cheeks (Lily had a lot much fun with that). Finally, the scheme was ready, and just in time too, because Remus had just given the signal that Davey and Sirius were entering the Common Room. The two sat at the romantic table, put romantic napkins in their laps, poured a romantic beverage into their romantic glasses, and began their romantic conversation. Lily gave them a minute before shoving "Paul the French Waiter" out towards them.

"Why hello," James began in a frankly ridiculous French accent. "I'm 'Paul the French Waiter', aka your favorite fighting French waiter, at your service. Here are the menus, even though we only have one thing to serve you."

James or Paul, whichever he was, passed out menus before flouncing back towards Lily.

"Excuse me," Sirius began, a smirk on his face. "I don't like my current waiter, may I have a new one?"

James, Paul, turned around, an expression of vile anger and disgust painted across his face.

"No! How dare you even - ", James began to screech but was instantly interrupted.

"Now, Paul," began a woman who was almost floating down the stairs. "The customer is always right. I'm very sorry, Sirius Black, that this waiter is not satisfactory. I will be covering for him from now on."

"Fabulous," Sirius interjected, earning a glare from James and a sappy smile from Davey - which was returned.

"Now, what can I interest you with? Perhaps a romantic plate of one really long spaghetti noodle?" asked the woman, who had now been identified as Lily in a wig.

"I'm sorry," Davey said, speaking to Lily and James for the first time. "I can't eat gluten."

Lily smiled nervously, about to say something, when James yelled. Loudly. Very loudly.

"IS GLUTEN EVEN A THING?"

"YES J-, PAUL, GLUTEN IS A THING! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF IT BEFORE DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T EXIST! YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING, YOU ARROGANT TOERAG!"

Yeah, the new waitress was definitely Lily. She turned back to Davey and Sirius, who were giggling uncontrollably.

"I'm so sorry, please allow me to discuss with my fellow waiter, if he can even be called that," Lily muttered darkly, "and we will try to find something else as a main course."

Lily took James' forearm, and dragged him away towards Remus.

"What the heck are we going to do?" worried Lily. "It's ruined, our entire plan is ruined!"

"I still don't think gluten is a thing," muttered James.

"It's a thing, 'Paul'" Remus and Lily chorused, and then high fived.

"Gluten," the werewolf began, "a substance present in cereal grains, especially wheat, that is responsible for the elastic texture of dough. Can cause illness in people with celiac disease. Basically, definitely a thing."

James crossed his arms and mumbled angrily under his breath.

"So what do we doooooooooooooooo?!" continued Lily.

"Maybe go visit the Kitchens?" suggested Remus. "It would take a while but - "

"I GOT IT!" exclaimed James, dark mood gone instantly. He took Remus' (man) satchel and rifled through it frantically before pulling a paper package out. "JELLO!"

There was a moment of silence before Lily and Remus began ranting at James at the exact same time.

"Where did you even get that Jello and why is it in my bag and that is not dinner what is wrong with you James Potter?" Remus said just as Lily started.

"Jello, James Potter, JELLO? Not only is that horrible substance disgustingly squishy and gross but who has lime of all flavors, lime for heaven's sake, what is wrong with you James Potter!" Remus and Lily finished their rants together while James looked at the Jello bashfully.

"What if…" the Potter began, rummaging around in the (man) satchel once more, "we had enough Jello to make a castle?" And with that statement, James began dropping Jello packet after Jello packet on the ground, starting to form a miniature horse sized pile at their feet. To Lily's dismay, they were all lime-flavored. Lily Evans really hated lime-flavored Jello. She counted 27 before Remus stole his satchel back.

"No," Lily decided. "Just no."

Then, turning to look at the romantic dinner table, she gasped.

It worked! I can't believe it! They're kissing! Remus thought-squealed, happy his plan had succeeded.

Wow that worked better than I thought it would. Maybe I should leave, after all, this is private. Although I'm not sure James got the message, Lily thought-said, face-palming.

Ooooh, they're kissing! It worked! I'm an absolute genius! Plus, my acting was - What is Lily doing, that weirdo! It's like she's trying to communicate a message… James thought with a smug smile.

Eventually, James understood Lily's signal and the three exited the premises, extremely proud of themselves.

But boy, did Sirius owe them big time. A nice long foot rub could be in order. But, that could wait, because Sirius and Davey were getting some 'aaaccctttiiiooonnn' right now.

Hehe, Jily flirting, makes me happy!

Yep, and confusion over gluten.

Well the story is coming to a conclusion!

The last chapter is next (minus the epilogue)!

See y'all!

Bye-nii!