Dean knew disappointment better than most seventeen year olds did. Through the years, Dean had come face-to-face with so much disappointment. It was sad, really. But, Dean understood. His father had bigger things to deal with than remembering his son's ninth birthday. John was a busy hunter, Dean knew that.

What he didn't know was how John could forget his tenth birthday, as well as his thirteenth…and his fifteenth.

Who needs birthdays, anyway? They're just markers reminding people that they're that much closer to death. Sure, sixteen meant a driver's license but the family business included fake IDs. Dean had been 'sixteen' since he was fourteen in twenty-seven different states.

Then there was the disappointment of his father not being home on time, not even calling his sons to tell them he was running late. Add that disappointment to concern and worry that John had been hurt or killed.

The oldest son had a lot to carry on his shoulders. He loved watching Sammy, of course, but practically raising a kid when he was still a kid himself was tough. Dean Winchester had been robbed of his childhood when he was four years old. He'd wanted Sam to have somewhat of a normal childhood, but that was impossible with the life style known as hunting.

How many seventeen year olds had patched their father up after being said father had been sliced up by some supernatural creature? How many seventeen year olds had been to forty-eight states at least three times each? How many seventeen year olds could take a gun apart and then put it right back together in less than a minute?

Dean sent a glance to the clock beside his sleeping brother's bed. 3:07 AM, January 24th. Dean was officially eighteen. He sighed, wondering if his father had killed the Wendigo four states away.

Dean knew more disappointment than most eighteen year olds did.

a/n: felt like doing another Dean centered fic. This one's all about Dean dealing with his father and how he had no normal childhood and he knows he'd never have one. Guess I just wanted to rant for Dean.

Have a good New Year.