Chapter 10: Can I Say Bish Fight?
A/N: Bleeehhh I am OFFICIALLY tired. We've been cleaning ALL. FLIPPING. DAY. (-_-') That's how my face looks as of now. Just add glasses. BUT I am still going to update! Here's chapter 10, folks! I do not own Naruto! (Because if I did, Sasuke would be licking Deidara's shoes clean and wearing a pink, polka dot tutu! Muahahahaha! Nah, just kidding, I'm not that messed up.) I only own my OC's. By the way, Zetsu's dark half will be italicized. Enjoy!
(Kaitou's POV)
I followed Kisame-Sensei through the maze-like halls, struggling to keep up. It looked like he was trying to lose me. Now that I think about it, he probably was. Hearing another set of footsteps, I looked back to find that Akitou kid following along with his... erm... sensei? More like a giant, walking, ying-yang, venus flytrap.
By the time I turned around, my sensei was turning on a corner. I was about to call out to him, when I suddenly heard a deep voice come from Giant-Plant-Dude-San. "Yo, Kisame! Are you going to ditch your student here? He looks awfully tasty."
Both Akitou and I jerked our heads towards him, sending him a look of horror and disgust. Zetsu's white half looked at us and rolled his eye. "What? It was a joke!" His black half continued. "Pshaw! As if you could ever look anywhere NEAR as appetizing as sushi over there."
Kisame, who had stopped when Zetsu talked to him, twitched on the spot. His face expression signified utter displeasure, and he turned to leave. However, before my sensei fully turned the corner, he sent a storm of kunai and shuriken in his direction. It all happened so fast! All I saw was a blue blur and the storm of sharp metal rushing towards Akitou and his Sensei. I, myself, had to move out of the way as best I could. The halls weren't very wide.
As they hit the walls, (Zetsu had somehow managed to disappear through a wall and Akitou had dived down), I noticed they each bared explosive tags. "Kisame-saaan!" I wailed, running away. Akitou rushed after me, seeing as there was nowhere else to escape to, screaming for his own sensei. Zetsu appeared at his call, and I felt a pang of jealousy. Why, oh why did Kisame have to fall for that Leaf-skank, Mizune?
"Hey! You almost hit my student!" Zetsu hissed accusingly as a blast sounded from behind. Oh, yes. We would have been dead meat, and Mr. Cannibal-man would have had a feast. I wonder if he likes it cooked, or raw, I thought, but quickly cast the thought away, a shiver playing at my spine.
"Yeah, and?" Kisame shot back, glaring. Zetsu narrowed his eyes and lunged forward, literally trying to bite his head off. It was, in a word, hilarious! It was as if they forgot they were even ninja, Akatsuki ninja, at that! They were rolling around like a couple of chicks going at it in a mud-pit.
Akitou and I stood on the sidelines, trying to keep our distance from the raving Akatsuki members, but the catfight was just too good. At first, Akitou had muttered something like, "Do you think we should help them?" I turned to him, making a face, which clearly questioned his sanity. "Are you crazy?" was my response. "Not unless you want to go back to absolute boredom and get your ass kicked in the process." Seriously, the only reason we even attempted to keep our distance was because fists and kicks were flailing in all directions, as well as hungry Zetsu's jaws. Nothing within a twenty-foot radius was completely safe.
"Come on, Zetsu-san! You can take him!" If my sensei hadn't been a total ass, I might have gave him a death glare. Believe me, the Uchiha glare was NOTHING compared to the one my mother taught me. Heck, it was not even close. However, seeing as he HAD been an ass, I just pointed and laughed.
Kisame, who was now attempting to pin Zetsu's head on the ground, jerked his head up towards me. "Hey! Who's your sensei?" was written all over it. Muttering under his breath, he stood up off the floor, and ushered me through the halls.
"Oh, no! This isn't over yet!" We heard a deep voice holler. It was Zetsu, charging at full speed towards Kisame. Once again, the two were on the floor, tangling all around, and making it look like a yaoi scene.
"So... " I whispered loudly, so that everyone could hear me. "Five bucks down. Kisame plays seme."
"Oh, you are so on!" We both started laughing like lunatics as they continued their... can I say... bitch fight?
Zetsu had his mouth on my sensei's head, gnawing away. Kisame had whipped out a large, bandaged sword, which I instantly recognized as Samehada, and was hitting him over the back with it. In his strange and twisted position, he couldn't make it so that the sword would shave. Oh, well. Looks like I wasn't going to get to see my daily share of blood and gore today. I thank my mother for getting me accustomed to it in the first place.
"Go for it, Kisame-san!" I yelled, waving my own sword in the air. I know the thing is huge, but yes, I was strong enough to do that. And no, I am NOT compensating!
This seemed to motivate him a bit, and he flipped his opponent over so that he was on top. "Oh, hey! Kisame is seme!" I shouted, and both our masters choked. Quickly, they got up and edged as far away from each other as possible. Zetsu then turned to me, glaring.
"You let that dirty imagination of yours run wild, kid, and you won't live very long." Kisame, however, laughed like mad.
"You're funny, kid. I like you." He said, flashing a toothy grin. Wow. He really was a demon shark man. His parents had awesome naming skills. He put an arm around my shoulder, and walked me to his room, which was the in the next hall to the left, as Zetsu and Akitou went on ahead. "Looks like you're not so bad after all. We're going to have some fun times." Eh... hello! I would like to remind you that YOU were the Mr. Butt-Hurt Bitchy-Ass in the first place, not me. I sighed mentally. I think I'd rather just keep the peace.
(Akitou POV)
Zetsu wobbled on his feet. I could tell he was still dizzy from rolling around during the catfight, but I wasn't sure on whether to help him or not. He might eat me
"Dang the rest of the Akatsuki members. They are all stronger than me in strength." His dark half hissed. I raised an eyebrow.
"Then what ARE you good at?" I blurted out. His dark side glared at me a bit, but his light side remained at ease.
"Well, I am an expert when it comes to spying. I thought you would be good at it, too, you know." He responded. What was that supposed to mean? I wasn't physically weaker! If anything, I was awesome in the area of taijutsu! My blood began to boil, but I tried my best to keep it under control.
"Yeah " I muttered slowly. Once he got over the catfight incident, he led me further underground. The further down we went, the more humid it seemed to get. Once we made it down a dark, narrow fleet of stone steps, we encountered an old, broken down rope- bridge, overlooking a deep canyon. A river was running through at an alarming rate, and many venus fly traps covered the rest of the area. However, the worst part to me was the fact that it was so far down. Oh, no. You just don't do that to me. I HATE heights.
"We don't use the bridge." My sensei's white half informed, noticing my tension. Well, if we didn't use the bridge, the how the heck were we supposed to get past that? I gulped at the prospect of having to cross the tattered bridge. I mean, come on! The thing was missing planks! I voiced my question.
"Well, that's going to be your first test." His dark side finished with a mischievous grin, and disappeared through a wall. I blinked stupidly for a few seconds, staring at the wall and the spot where Zetsu-sensei once stood. What the heck? That was too weird for my own health.
"What the fu-!" I began, but I cut off, deciding that I should quit complaining and find a way to the other side that will get me there in one piece, or at least alive. There has to be a jutsu for what he does, I thought.
"Okay, so what type of jutsu will allow me to do the same as Zetsu?" I mumbled many times under my breath. Ah! This was too complicated! Really! You couldn't blame me if you tried! I mean, what was I supposed to do? Go Through The Obviously Solid Wall That I Have To Get Through Eventually Unless I Want To Get Eaten Alive By Creepy Carnivorous Plants no Jutsu? Yeah. I didn't think so.
"Yo! Akitou-kun!" I heard Zetsu call from the other side.
"Show off." I muttered, eyes narrowed into irritated slits.
"Try Tamashi no Jutsu!" He advised. Finally! A useful tad bit of information! The only problem was that he didn't tell me the seals for the technique.
"What kinds of seals should I use?" I asked. He responded with a shrug.
"I was born with the ability, so I only know a few things." Well, thank you very much, Mr. Oh-so-helpful. You could have at least told me what was it that you knew! I could have sworn I saw him smirk, his dark side rather sadistically.
Oh, well, I thought. Let's do this. I tried rabbit, dog, and bird while exclaiming, "Tamashi no Jutsu!" I sprinted towards the wall and almost succeeded. Almost. Half of my body got through all right. The other half... well... you can just guess.
I cried out in pain as the stone wall was crushing the left side of my body. I had solidified, and I was stuck. "Zetsu-sensei, help!" I wailed in agony. Within seconds, he was at my side, drying tears of laughter from his eyes. Jerk! He knew this would happen!
With one swift movement, he broke the wall apart, setting me free. I hung my head, ashamed of my mistake. "Okay, fine." His light half said. "The real order for lightning chakra is tiger, boar, and horse!" His dark half finished his sentence.
I was about to attempt it, when Zetsu's light half struck the other upside the head, resulting in both of them falling back a little. "No! Don't do it! Don't do it!" I turned to face a half nervous wreck and half trying to hold back hysterical laughter. It was a strange sight. I REALLY don't want to know what would have happened if I had attempted this jutsu with those seals.
"You chose the right seals, but in the wrong order. It's dog, rabbit, and bird." He clarified, and I tried it once again.
I didn't get it right away, but after a few attempts, I found myself inside of the stone walls. It was a cold feeling. Everything around me seemed to disappear. Come to think of it, I couldn't see my whole body. All I saw were tiny specs floating around in a group. I was in the state of being converted into microscopic matter. So that is how this technique works, I thought.
Soon, however, I found myself at the other side of the bridge. "Congrats!" Both sides cheered. "You really will make a good subordinate!" Really, I was just glad to be out of that situation. After he came over to me, we kept making our way to his room. This was more of his domain. However, we came to a dead end, staring at a wall of white rock. He motioned for me to follow, and he went through the wall.
We came to a large clearing, which I assumed must have been his room, though there wasn't much inside. There were two beds shoved aside in a corner, a small wardrobe, and two doors on the other side, one of which happened to be ajar. A strange smell was coming from it that seemed to trigger unwanted memories in my head.
I, being too curious for my own good as always, peered inside. I almost feinted. There were multiple dead bodies that looked as if they had just been killed. The smell of fresh blood rose into the air, making my own blood boil. I hated that smell. It reminded me of a certain something that happened not too long ago, and I wasn't talking about my sister.
"Mmm good. I was starving!" Zetsu said from behind me. Every thing went black after that. Whether it was because of sheer anger or utter disgust, I think I feinted.
A/N: Yup, yup! Chapter 10, folks! Oh, and to Seth Morningstar, I think I'll take your advice and stop using the little star thingies. I might change the words a couple of times like I did on the title, but only because it sounds funnier (at least to me it does!) and less crude, because that's not how it was meant to be taken. Anyway... where was I? Oh, yeah! Tamashi means spirit in Japanese. I would guess that spirits can go through walls, so yeah! Thank you for reading, and don't forget to review and answer my poll! I really want to know! Why? Because they are both awesome characters!