A/N: I don't own Harry Potter

Warning: this chapter contains sex, and dubious consent.

Hermione shifted from foot to foot waiting for Professor Snape. She finally heard his footsteps. She wondered if he did that deliberately now, since she remembered he'd been able to move silently in school. Maybe the stones of the castle had just masked his footsteps somehow?

"Miss Granger, what brings you by today?"

"The potion, I think, I think it made me...can we talk in private?" He nodded leading her to his office again. She sank into the chair shaking slightly.

"What's wrong?"

"I burned my arm, sir, and instead of healing it, I stared at it. I wondered if...if...Ron would even notice the burn, notice I was hurt. I...started to wonder if...he'd even notice if I was gone."

"Gone? As in leaving him?" She shook her head, tears building in her eyes. He walked over to her, she buried her face against him sobbing loudly.

"No. As in gone," she finally whispered.

"Did you act on these thoughts at all, Miss Granger?"

"Please, call me Hermione, please. No, I healed my arm, and came here. I didn't know what else to do, I'm forgetting things too."

"Memory loss?"

"Maybe? There was a robe I don't remember buying, I...I thought Ron was home last night, but his bed was empty. I...don't." Someone knocked on the door. Professor Snape sighed.

"Stay right there, Hermione. I'll be right back, sometimes I wonder about these dunderheads I employ." He stalked out of the room closing the door behind him. Hermione looked around the office, her eyes landing on a silver letter opener sitting on the desk. Leaning forward she picked it up, watching it shine in the light.

She gently touched it to her wrist, feeling the cold metal. One edge was slightly sharp, almost reminding her of a knife. Her hand trembled as she slid it against her skin, almost admiring the way little beads of blood formed on her arm.

"No, I...I can't," she whispered throwing the letter opener away. She wrapped her wrist in her cloak. The door swung open. Professor Snape stepped back into the room. He took one look at her, her wrist wrapped in her cloak. He grabbed her arm and pulled her from her chair.

"Let's go, I'm taking you upstairs, I've got dittany upstairs, do I even want to know what you used?"

"Letter opener," she whispered looking at the ground.

"I didn't realize how bad you were. I'm sorry, I never should have left you alone." He led her up a flight of steps into a large bathroom. A claw footed tub stood against one wall. He sat her down on the edge of it.

"I'm sorry, sir...I don't know what...it was just..."

"Shh, I know, sometimes the pain is all you want, a chance to escape from whatever demons are in your head. Let me see your arm." She unwrapped it and held it out to him. He nodded treating the cut. "It's not too deep, thankfully."

"I think the potion is making it worse, I...felt happy at first, now."

"We might have to find a different one for you, Hermione. I was hoping to keep you on something low dose, but these side-effects worry me a little." Hermione hissed as he healed her wrist and then looked at her other wrist. He nodded seeing it was clean.

"Thank you sir," she whispered as he helped her to her feet. She slipped slightly and fell against him. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I...could you just hold me, sir? Please, I just need someone to hold me," she whispered. He nodded allowing her to lay her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her closely.

He could feel her trembling slow, could feel himself wanting her. He tried to dismiss those thoughts, tried to remind himself she was married. Her fingers had found the buttons on his cloak, slowly unbuttoning them, until the cloak billowed around the pair.

"Hermione," he whispered. "You don't want to do this, it's the potion."

"I don't think so," she stated running her fingers over his shirt. "I want to feel like a woman, sir, like I matter. Don't deny you don't feel something towards me. I can see it in your eyes, sir." Severus stared at the witch standing in front of him. He knew he shouldn't, but he leaned forward, bring her to him. Her lips trembled as he brought his to hers. The chemistry was undeniable. Within minutes, his fingers had undressed her, revealing her scars. He glanced at them briefly until she brought his eyes back to hers.

"Take me, Severus," she whispered. He pushed her against the wall, kissing down her neck, her breasts. She stripped him from his boxers. He navigated her towards his bed, pushing her gently onto the black satin sheets. He climbed on top of her, running his long fingers over her breasts. She moaned under his touch. He thrust himself into her, covering her mouth gently as she let out a small scream. He paused. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him deeper.

She came with a loud whimpered scream, him not a moment after. He slid off her, laying on the bed next to her. She rolled over to face him.

"Thank you, sir," she whispered sliding from the bed.

"Miss Granger." She glared at him. "Hermione."

"Yes sir."

"This can not happen again. Do you understand." She nodded curtly grabbing her clothes.

"Yes sir."

"I will send your potion by owl, starting tomorrow. You will report to St. Mungo's for side-effects."

"Yes sir," she whispered dressing and leaving him laying naked in his bed.