Disclaimer: I don't own Kyou Kara Maou!
No money made from this fanfiction. For free entertainment purposes only.
10. Talk
Touch
It was past midnight when Murata had to let down his pen, stand up and look at the full moon through his bedroom window, as, with annoyance, he realized Shinou wouldn't get out so soon. The night was quiet at the Temple.
The blond king was staring at the moon with an undecipherable expression on his features. The two men remained silently beside each other, contemplating the star-full sky.
"I felt like Wolfram didn't completely go away without one of your...unexpected gifts."
Shinou's lips drew a smile as Murata hinted at a confession.
"I somewhat guessed Wolfram wanted to leave with Yuuri...However, his eyes are closed. A blind man like him can still see the truth."
Murata couldn't help but laugh, cynically amused by the first king's crazy quirks.
"You're always looking for drama."
Shinou's smile broadened as he set for a brief instant a softened gaze upon Murata. Then he looked back at the orbit.
"The Moon...This dangerous, yet so attractive feminine entity..."
XXX
The way back home didn't really happen the way Yuuri had envisioned it. For one, Wolfram wasn't speaking to him. Second, they hadn't gone shopping food for dinner. Third...the weird tension that he was unable to deny kept putting a distance between them.
Wolfram was acting cold towards him, with an obstinate nervous expression on his face and Yuuri didn't feel too reassured.
If he's like that, all of a sudden...It can only be related to her...Did he see her?
His hand was getting wet, from his growing nervousness.
Once inside the house, Yuuri grabbed Wolf by the hand. His breathing got harsher.
"Wolf...Look at me."
Slowly, Wolfram turned to his fiancé, his eyes cast downwards. Breathing harshly, he brought his other hand to Yuuri's chest and kept it there a few instants. Then he jerked it back, with a disgusted grunt.
"Tell me the truth, Yuuri," he finally said. He looked at Yuuri and Yuuri wished he hadn't. The green eyes were submerged with a worldless hurt.
"Who is that girl?"
Yuuri's heart stopped dead. It then pumped hard like a machine. He inspired a long shot of air. Lowering his gaze, he started to rub his nape. He needed some silence. Then, more courageously, he said:
"Her name is Hana."
Wolfram repressed his desire to push away Yuuri with a punch on his chest.
"So this was real...?" he asked nearly to himself.
Yuuri rubbed his face with his hands before looking at his broken fiancé.
"What do you mean?"
The glare Wolf threw at him had so much intensity Yuuri flinched.
"Did you and her...? Did you have sex with her, Yuuri?"
Yuuri shook his head. He paused before answering.
"I didn't."
Wolfram's eyes widened in shock. Then his frown grew back. Never had he wanted so much to slap someone hard in the face.
"Are you mocking me?!"
"I don't," Yuuri's voice was wavering, but didn't lose its determination.
"You liar!" Wolfram's eyes got wet, but surprisingly no tear fell. Yet...the lack of dampness didn't diminish the pain that veiled them and that reflected inside Yuuri's own black eyes. His fists were shaking hard. "I saw you...In that place! You were doing something with her! Don't tell me it wasn't sex!"
"Did someone tell you something?" Yuuri asked, his chest swelling with sorrow. He's breaking down again.
"NO! No one! But Shinou gave me Conrad's fucking memories and I saw both of you!" Wolfram caught the door's handle so that he didn't fall from his staggering legs. "I know your relationship with her is FAR from being innocent! And yet...yet you keep seeing her behind my back!" His eyes flickered all over Yuuri who couldn't move, powerless. "For Shinou's sake, her thoughts all over you, you stink of her, I can clearly see what she wants from you!" he emphasized the last words.
"...You saw her?"
Wolfram's face contorted into a hateful expression.
"Stop asking questions; you should be the ONE to tell me what you did with her! What did you do?!"
"We didn't do anything...Anything!" Yuuri said, looking at the ground before a firm hand made him face the green eyes again. "We didn't do anything...anything past dancing."
"Oh...because touching her legs and her ass is dancing only, now?" Wolfram was seething worse than a volcano.
Yuuri rubbed his face again, feeling suffocated by the stress that was building within.
"That's no excuse...I was drunk...and I-"
He looked back at Wolfram and oh, gosh! Never had he thought seeing Wolfram doubting him would hurt like a burning wound. He balled his hands into fists and tried to gather his disembodied spirit. He felt real fear; something was lost and he was terrified not being able to find it again.
"I didn't even kiss her. No matter how much she wanted, I didn't go further with her."
"Are you telling me the truth?" Wolfram asked. "Or are you going to lie, lie again by omission like you've been doing so well lately?"
"I am telling the truth! I've never slept with her and I don't want to! Never will!"
Wolfram's respiration was short but slow, too, as if he was processing Yuuri's words.
"So what is she to you?"
"A friend. Just a friend, Wolfram."
"Just a friend, eh? A friend...A friend you'd do things with that you have been unable to do with me...You really think of me as an idiot."
Now that the Pandora box was open, all the memories were rushing more vividly to Wolfram's mind. He felt that the memories had transported him in this place, too, in this nightclub, asphyxiating because of all the people dancing wildly, the smell of excitation, sweat and sex attacking him and his eyes settled upon a rather suggestive couple, under a mezzanine. And his fiancé being part of this couple.
"I know it's hard to believe me," Yuuri replied, voice faltering at how much in pain he could see Wolf be. "But it's the truth. I didn't sleep with her and don't want to. That night, I must admit..." he looked at his left, in remembrance of the night when he met Hana. "That night...If I hadn't controlled myself...Yeah...I might have," he shook his head. "But I didn't. Because I was thinking of you. So I ended up falling asleep, and she had finally sex with my friend, a guy named Mikari. No, you don't know him...They're dating each other now...which makes me want even less to have any sort of encounter of that type with her..."
No voice raised for a few instants. Silence settled.
"She may be a friend," Wolfram started again. His anger was still boiling within, though, for his own sake, he had to act calmer. "But she thinks of you as more than a friend. I can tell you that. I know her feelings. I don't know about yours towards her...yet, I can see she's special to you. The way you pronounced her name..." Wolfram shook his head, full of sorrow. "I wasn't even a lover to you."
"Wolfram, please, don't-"
"Some friend you are. That dude, Mikari, is your friend and yet, you're keeping an ambiguous relationship with her. And about her...What kind of woman is she to date someone, but to throw herself at you, his friend? If she's really dating him, why is she thinking of you this way?! Why?"
"You mean-"
"I mean I can see you just met her at the university. I know it and her thoughts are lingering around you. I'm used to people having feelings for you, I've always been since we've been engaged! I don't know whether or not you're clueless...but you know what, Yuuri?" Wolfram said, his stare hardening in feelings. "She loves you. And she wants more from you."
Wolfram looked away, so that he couldn't seen Yuuri's shocked expression. He took his shoes off, then peeled himself from his jacket and started to make his way inside the corridor towards the upstairs bedrooms. Yuuri quickly caught up, taking his hand again.
"Wolfram, please!"
Wolfram snapped his wrist away from Yuuri's grip:
"I'm judging you a lot for keeping someone like her close to you: she's dating someone, yet she would cheat on him in a matter of seconds if you ever give her a chance to! And you know what breaks me? What breaks me is that I have no assurance you would refuse. You're encouraging her, and you disgust me. She's dating YOUR friend, and you're engaged to ME! And this is how both of you behave behind our backs!"
Wolfram turned away and joined his bedroom, Yuuri's bedroom.
XXX
Yuuri was preparing his bag for the day to come. He could barely see what he was putting inside of it; not that he cared if he had taken his Economics books while he had English classes instead. No, he didn't really care. Evening had come rather swiftly, gradually diving him into a dark bedroom. Except for the intermittent birds' noise, no sound was reaching his place. He paused, his mind wandering.
He spotted Hana's gift shirt on the chair. Yuuri slowly rose to his feet, feeling like he weighed a ton. He grabbed the shirt. Hana had sprayed her perfume over it as a joke ("Yuuri is wearing a woman's perfume", which made him smirk). He gathered it in his hands, then delicately smelt the nice fabric, inspiring a long breath from it. A fruity perfume that only belonged to her.
Then, rolling it into a ball, he chucked it into the trash can.
What were they going to do? He exited Shouri's bedroom and then, made way to the bathroom. He took off his clothes and made this shower the strongest he ever had. Rubbing his skin thoughtfully, he paid attention to his neck and hands in particular, places she had touched. He couldn't help it.
'You disgust me.'
XXX
Sleep was hard to come by, and Yuuri, with regret, felt he wouldn't be able to even close one eye. Sighing with resignation, the young king took into a sitting position, the bed creaking under his weight. His insides were twisting with an increasing hunger and he winced at the sensation of his stomach eating itself. He hadn't been able to dine while sitting with his parents, Wolfram having skipped dinner under the pretext of a headache.
He wondered what he could do. Setting his feet on the floor, he stood up, staggering from the tiredness. A bit of ramen and miso soup would do, for the night. There might be even some baseball emission on TV, too, at that hour.
He opened the door...and his heart nearly stopped, again. His eyes blinked in the dark but the moonlight was enough for him to see a little. His hand quivered against the door.
"Wolfram..."
The blond was standing, in his pyjamas, in front of the open door. He was embarrassed, which Yuuri could tell despite the feeble moonlight.
"We have to talk, Yuuri," Wolfram said lowly.
Once again, both hearts were beating too hard within fragile chests. Yuuri stayed silent before giving a small nod. He opened the door wider and invited him in, shaking in anticipation. "Come in," he said with softness.
Wolfram stepped into Shouri's bedroom, with uncertainty. He spotted the bed and sat down, breathing hard. Nevertheless, he was the calmer of the two. Yuuri shut the door, slowly made way to the night stand and turned on the night lamp, allowing a dainty light to reveal their faces.
He took place at Wolfram's left.
"Wolfram..."Yuuri started, hands moist against his own knees. He was looking at his feet. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean...I don't want to pain you."
"I pushed you to do that?" Wolf's voice sounded weak. He was haunted by his guilt. After all, he had had a part of responsibility in Yuuri's behaviour. He wasn't innocent either.
"Wolf, no,-"
"Please, be honest with me, Yuuri." Wolfram looked at him. "I am your fiancé, I deserve that."
Yuuri turned to meet his gaze. Fiancé. For once, this word carried a connotation that he had never considered before. It meant engagement, trust, responsibility, honesty, friendship, confidence...love. Love.
He finally nodded. "I really was angry at you." He saw Wolfram close his eyes as if to resist to his own guiltiness. "I wanted nothing to do with you...I wanted to get away from...from everything related to you and my function as a king. I couldn't stop thinking about our last argument. I couldn't stop thinking about what you said against me. It was so painful."
"Forgive me, Yuuri," Wolfram said in a tone that made Yuuri scared he was on the edge of breaking down. But to his 'relief', Wolfram only looked sadder. His shoulders were slouching.
"You've already been forgiven, Wolfram," Yuuri promptly said, squeezing his hand. His fingers lingered on Wolf's; his skin was so smooth. "I already told you...When I saw you nearly dead, I thought I was going to..."
"Going to what?"
"To become crazy...I would lose everything if you died."
Wolfram felt a sudden warmth rushing through his whole being. As a response he only brushed his fiancé's fingers.
"Was she already a friend?" he murmured, more because he couldn't ask without faltering his voice.
Yuuri shook his head briefly, stroking his eyebrows in nervousness. He was tired.
"No...We met that night."
Wolfram nodded. She wasn't a long time friend...
"She became my friend's girlfriend; so of course I often see her around..." Yuuri précised as if answering his companion's silent question. "But I will repeat it: I don't have any intention to sleep with her...I don't see her in that light."
They stared at each other, testing each one's honesty.
"Moreover," Yuuri finally added. "I was going to introduce you to all my friends, her included."
Wolfram's eyes widened for an instant, with an undecipherable expression in them; Yuuri couldn't quite put a name on it. But then, just as simultaneously, Wolfram asked:
"Will you present me... as your fiancé, Yuuri?"
Yuuri looked away, with a sorry expression. Wolf's hand loosened around his. Wolfram's gaze dropped on the ground.
"I guess it means 'no'...You don't want people to know about us..."
Yuuri stroked his fiancé's back, while it took him wild horses not to wrap Wolf into his arms.
"I'm sorry, Wolf...It's not...that I don't want...But you should know here...Why did you think I was so reluctant to be engaged to another man the first time I arrived in Shin Makoku? Here, it's not like at home. You should see how...same-sex couples are treated. Sexual orientation freedom isn't as accepted here as it is in our kingdom. I've been taught that two men together isn't the norm, and that it is disgusting."
Wolfram raised shocked eyes at him.
"Why?...What's so disgusting between two people who love each other?"
Love, eh.
"I agree," Yuuri conceded with a feeble voice. "But I can't control what people feel and think. I would like their opinion to change. But if they don't want to, I don't think I can do much in that case."
Wolfram kept his mouth shut, too at a loss for words.
"When will I meet your friends?"
"This Friday. We have a party going on. I have a baseball training with them, too. But I think I prefer to stay home before the party...I'm sorry to have caused you so much pain. I won't do it ever again."
They watched the moon, surrounded by a few stars which promised a somewhat sunny time for the next day.
"Yuuri...Just one more thing."
"What is it, Wolf?"
The blond took in a deep inspiration.
"I'm going to accept the fact you can't speak about our engagement to people. I will play the game. However, it means Hana will still think you're single and that she may have a chance with you. No matter how well I may play a friend, I won't tolerate seeing you and her, together, flirting or whatever you're doing. I want you to make it clear you are not interested in her. I've seen her thoughts too well that she doesn't want a simple friendship with you." He raised his eyes again at Yuuri. "I can't read your thoughts, I don't know your feelings...Yet, I will try to trust you as two fiancés should."
Yuuri nodded, staring deeply into the green eyes that an amazing fire had just animated. The impression that the former Wolfram, proud, strong, opinionated Wolfram, had just come back reinvigorated Yuuri's soul.
"She knows you have some principles. She's dating YOUR friend. Of course, she's trying not to create some drama between the two of you. However, she only waits for one sign from you. You better shut down that ambiguity between you two."
XXX
It was an incredible relief that things were back to "normal" even if Yuuri was still sweating from how close he had been about to lose his Wolfram. He knew that he wouldn't have been able to "hide" Hana for too long. One day or another, his fiancé would have learned about her. Yet...He would have wanted in another manner.
His eyes darkened as Wolfram closed the door of his bedroom (Yuuri's). So Shinou had transmitted Conrad's memories to Wolfram's. He felt prohibited to be angry at Shinou. Yet, he couldn't help to feel violated in his privacy.
And what was that thing about Wolf reading Hana's thoughts?...Did this power come from Shinou, too? He felt slightly bothered and even irritated that Shinou had allowed himself to play with Wolf's abilities. Hana had a right to have her thoughts to herself. Wolfram didn't have to learn about her feelings this way. It also meant no private confab or simple talk with Hana was permitted, now. He would never be able to meet her alone now.
He'd waited, after Wolf and his talk, looking at the blond. Shouri's bed was large enough for two. The pale moonlight and the not so strong lamp light illuminated Wolfram's collarbone. Yuuri's eyes had settled on his neck and the first button of his shirt which was open. His pyjamas were made of white silk which kind of revealed his skin. Yuuri had felt his mouth watering. But he did nothing. Nor did his silent fiancé.
Wolfram had stood up, slowly, and said: "I'll sleep in my bedroom."
Resigned, Yuuri had accompanied him back to his bedroom. He stayed one hour behind his own bedroom, in which the man he didn't want to lose had found some needed rest away from him.
XXX
They both were slightly stressed as their steps led them to Hana's house. Sounds were escaping the windows and doors, from which the two men guessed the party had started. The front yard looked like an Eden with all the flowers spreading here and there, the big modern fountain and the few romantic stone benches laying on different spots. Her house could take any one's breath away. It was a mix of modern and traditional Japanese habitat, which was pleasant to the eye.
From a wealthy family, I see, Wolfram said to himself. It kind of made his nervousness increase: this girl was not anyone. She had a social background that matched Yuuri's; and well, she was a woman and a lovely one above that.
His fingers flexed as he was missing Yuuri's touch. A moment earlier, they were both holding hands, a habit Yuuri had got used to. Wolfram had been enjoying this progress in his fiancé's behaviour, but the road was still long...When they had got out of the taxi's car, Yuuri had let go of his hand and was now hiding his own hands in his pockets.
"Are you okay, Wolf?" Yuuri asked. Getting close to his friends' presence, his own nervousness seemed to have declined.
"I am, wimp."
"Good. You...You look good."
Wolfram looked at him, first a bit taken aback. Slowly a smile made way to his face.
"Thank you. You look good, too."
They arrived at the threshold and rang. They heard, among the noise, voices, music, a clear voice saying:
"Kitamura, can you open the door, please?!"
"Okay!"
Soon, a thin tall man presented himself as he swang the front door open. A giant smile welcomed Yuuri and Wolfram.
"Hello, Yuuri! Long time no see, man!"
The two men shook hands, pulling each other against their shoulders for a friendly hit. Kitamura turned to Wolfram. The blond kept his cool, smiling.
"Hey, a friend of yours, Yuuri?"
"Yes, my German penpal, Wolfram von Bielefeld."
"Hi, I'm Kitamura Aoko," he shook Wolf's hand. "German, eh? Cool!"
"Nice to meet you, Yuuri has talked about you," Wolfram assured, the most friendly possible. Though it felt weird to try to be so "familiar" with someone he'd never encountered before.
"Talked about me? Eh, I hope he didn't speak about me in bad terms," Kitamura said as he stepped back to let them get in.
"Haha, no, just said you were good in maths."
"Cool! Come on, you two, nearly everyone has come, we have tons of booze!" As they went across the hall leading to the main living-room, Kitamura nudged Yuuri, muttering to him: "Shit, Yuuri, your friend is going to be a success with all the girls here!"
"That...would not be a surprise..."
"His face, wow! Does he have someone because Valérie and Hinagashi are single and-!"
Yuuri gently pushed him away with his shoulder, frowning:
"Let it go, he's taken."
"Well, too bad for them!"
Wolfram's heart was pounding so hard he thought he was going to faint. But Yuuri looked over his shoulder; he gave him the kindest and most reassurance gaze ever. The living-room's door opened.
"Hey! Yuuri! Welcome!" Hana said. In spite of her short black skirt, she managed to leap above the chess game that two of her friends were playing on the floor, and threw herself at Yuuri's neck. A huge smile was curving her lips upwards, brightening her whole being.
"Hi, Hana," Yuuri said. He remembered his promise. Softly, yet firmly, he got rid of her arms and smiled in order to smooth his... "rejection". Hana blinked, wondering, before her dark eyes settled on Wolfram.
"Hi, who are you? Yuuri, is he your friend?"
There were around ten people in the room. And ten pairs of eyes turned to Wolfram, widening at the beauty who had just graced them with his presence.
"Yes," Yuuri said, as he gently placed a hand against Wolfram's shoulder. "Hana, this is Wolfram von Bielefeld, my German penpal and one of my closest friends. He's come to study here for some time. Wolf, this is Hana...She's a good friend."
"Hey, I'm glad to meet you!" Hana said, taking Wolfram's hand, "I've never heard about you before but I'm very eager to know more about you."
A short moment was passed in awkward silence as Wolfram was staring at her, with a frozen expression on the face."Yes, me too," he said with pinched lips.
So this was her. This tall and beautiful dark-haired woman who smelt like an angel. She was the one who had succeeded in being so close physically to Yuuri. A shadow veiled Wolfram's troubled green gaze.
What did he really feel for her?
Everyone came to greet them, introducing themselves to a calm, yet secretly overwhelmed Wolfram. He saw Yuuri choosing drinks from the buffet for himself and Wolf, and right away, Hana sprang to the young king's side, chatting animatedly as though long years had separated them. Wolfram felt his heart taking a quick rhythm as he wondered when the night would be over.
"Where's Mikari?" Yuuri asked Hana.
XXX
"So. You gave Wolfram the ability to read that girl's thoughts every time she's around Yuuri? And those thoughts can linger around him, similarly to a foreign aura, for hours?...Oooh, so devilish from you."
"I did say I wanted both of them to part. This is how people from Earth call it, no? 'Machiavellianism'."
Murata went to his bedroom's door, sighing. He rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Mhh...I think you put yourself into business that now has nothing to do with you...You're underestimating lord von Bielefeld's feelings for Shibuya..And Shibuya's feelings for your 'grandchild'. I think I need to ponder over this."
"Do I have to leave you alone?"
"BAM. Now get out."
Shinou smirked.
"As if I would use the door."
TBC