Title: My Life With You
Author: an-alternate-world
Rating: T
Characters/Pairing: Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow
Word Count: 503
Summary: A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.
Warnings/Spoilers: None for this drabble.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with The Flash, The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.
Anis (anisstaranise) on Tumblr prompted a fic that included the sentence: "It's okay to cry."
She notices his distance in the weeks after Barry had returned to the past to try to save his mother but she's wary of pushing too far which only serves to push him away. He seems…fragile, exhaustion paling his cheeks and darkening his eyes. He lacks enthusiasm, he doesn't concentrate for long and… Well, she's concerned.
Cisco's jerked his head towards Barry a few times and then looked at her, a clear sign that he's leaving this all to her to deal with. And it scares her, the loss that colours his posture, because she understands that loss and at the same time, she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking the last vestiges of Barry Allen until all that's left are tattered strands of his soul floating on the wind.
She finds him in the treadmill room after another fruitless search for their latest metahuman crisis. His suit has been stowed and now he sits, folded into a corner of the room, in sweatpants and the S.T.A.R. Labs hoodie they'd given him after he'd first woken up. He looks more defeated than she can ever remember seeing and she worries maybe she's left approaching him too late.
"Hey," she says, sliding to the floor beside him, elbows brushing together as she inches as close as she can get without feeling like she's invading his space.
"Hey," he echoes, but his voice is flat, his eyes are distant, and she knows he's nine parts pretense and one part broken shell. Maybe they'd all been wrong to try to change the past, to give Barry a chance at saving his mother.
An uncomfortable silence stretches between them, expanding the barrier between the Barry she knows and the Barry beside her until they're almost indistinguishable as the same person. Gnawing her lower lip between her teeth, she twines her fingers around his and hold on tightly. She doesn't miss the shuddered breath he releases as she smooths her thumb across his skin.
"I know saving her didn't go as planned," she murmurs, squeezing Barry's hand gently. "It's okay to be upset."
Barry shakes his head, looking like he's only seconds away from crumbling into tears. She doesn't want to push him but…at the same time, Barry's always been someone who expresses his feelings, who isn't ashamed to reach out when he needs someone.
"It's okay to cry, Barry," she whispers and his breathing hitches as he turns towards her like a small child that's just had a nightmare. Her arm wraps around his waist, her other hand cradling the back of his neck as he sobs weakly into her shoulder. She hadn't wanted to break him, hadn't wanted to see him so low and despairing that he caved in against her, but she's glad he's made ridding himself of some of the toxicity that had permeated the air for weeks.
"It's okay," she says against his ear as she rocks him back and forth and makes soft hushing noises in an attempt to soothe him.
~FIN~