The Hard Way
Donatello made his way back to the lair, walking slowly, dreadfully, but feeling slightly less devastated than he'd been only a few minutes ago.
When he lead Karai out of the rain they didn't say much. There wasn't anything to say, really. But he realised that if he wanted to make up for what he'd done to his brother, he would need to at least make sure Karai was okay. He would have to be her protector, in the way Leonardo had been. Even when the brothers encountered the Foot, when she was practically the enemy, Leo had always been the one to fight her. Always there to make sure she didn't get seriously injured.
The thing is, Leonardo could have done nothing to stop her heart from breaking.
Donnie stopped walking. He looked down in shame. ''If only I had known..." he whispered, wishing his older brother was there at that moment, to advise him, help him make it right, tell him he was forgiven.
What confused him most was that there were times when he thought he'd done everything right, then there were moments he couldn't shake off the belief he'd been in the wrong all along. This confusion he knew was unjustified; he should be regretting what he had done. But monsters don't feel remorse.
Then why did he have the need to be forgiven?
He groaned loudly, pressed his temples with the forefinger and thumb of his left hand. He took a heavy step forward and tried not to focus on his terrible headache. He checked his phone for any missed calls, he'd been sure there'd be a ton, but no one had tried to reach him. "Oh, no".
He started running, forcing himself to continue, even though he'd ran out of breath. The lack of training in the past weeks had caused him to tire more easily, even when performing the simplest of tasks, like running. His mind started racing as he thought of everything that could have gone wrong. "Someone may have found the lair and hurt them. Maybe they just didn't realise Leo is... What if they left to find me? Why didn't they just call?..." Every possibility crossed his mind, from the most plausible to the most improbable ones. All but one:
What if he wasn't dead?
He entered the lair, looking around for his family. He remained unmoving and concentrated. Yes, they were there. he could hear soft whispering coming from the lab. He let out a long held breath in relief. "They're just in the lab. The lab... what are they doing in there?"
He realised, then, something was off. There were whispers, soft sobs... and...
His eyes widened in shock, as he pinned down the cause of his uneasiness: the beeping. He could hear the beeping.
But that could only mean... If the heart monitor was active... And no one had called him yet...
Just then, his phone vibrated in his palm. He looked at the screen. It was Raph calling him. "What is going on? Is Leo..."
A loud, piercing noise startled him. His phone kept vibrating in his sweaty palm and his heart sank as he heard his family start sobbing, all at once, all so deafening, all too much to take.
He tried to swallow to drown the tears before they met his cheeks, but it was too late. He hadn't wanted to do this the hard way. He hadn't wanted to be there when it happened. He shouldn't be there. Why was he?
Minutes went by without him making a single step towards the lab or the exit. He just stood there, silent in the chaos around him, weak from the blows he himself had landed on his own heart. He thought he was on his knees, thought he was punching the floor and screaming. But he hadn't moved a bit.
He saw Mikey exit the lab, running to his room without even seeing him. Then came out Raph, silent, walking in a wavering way, his eyes wide open. He tried to hold on to something, but fell down. Donatello could hear him throw up, gag, crying all the while. A minute later, he stood up. He turned his head and found Donnie, looking fragile, like a child. Rage took over him.
In Raphael's eyes, he looked like a disgusting freak.
He let out an angry growl and launched at him, full speed. He knocked him down to the floor and started hitting him hard. On the face, at his sides, on his chest, while Donatello remained unmoving for the most part, only reflexively trying to dodge his brother's blows.
"You idiot! You fucker!... Why did you leave?! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"
When he'd threatened him before, Don didn't believe in it all that much. But now, with him being under the weight and will of his savage looking brother, he felt his life coming to an end more than he ever had in the past.
By now, Raphael's hands were painted in crimson. Donatello's right eye was swollen and he had to keep it closed, while his left one was in much better shape, he was too drained to bother to keep open.
Just as Don was about to lose consciense, feeling the smell of his brother's vomit piercing his nostrils, Raphael was lifted off him. With all the power left in him, he opened one eye halfway to see his father keeping Raphael restrained. He was saying something, he could hear his voice, but Raph's was like thunder, covering everything else and making you shiver.
For a moment he did not make out any words. It almost seemed like his brother wasn't the one talking, like all that came from a terrible creature, unknown to him, but real and horrible nontheless.
But slowly, words began to form out of this creature's incoherent yelling. They kept repeating a phrase over and over and over. Donatello wasn't sure what it meant, his mind being in pain greater than his limbs. As Splinter took Raph from the room, the voice began to sound more and more distant. Only before he closed his eyes and gave in to the fatigue, only then did the words make sense to him:
"He wanted to see you".
He felt his heart tighten before his eyes closed for good.
In his room, Michelangelo lay on his bed, hugging a pillow and mourning. He kept trying to say things, but his crying did not allow him to make it past a few syllables at a time. He could hear his brother scream and felt more afraid than ever, he recalled Leonardo's face when he died, looking at them and then passing, with his eyes still half open.
He closed his eyes to push that image away, but found he could not.
After he completely drained himself of any more tears, he could finally speak. Unlike his brother, his tone was low. He did not want anyone to know. Except for one person, maybe, but that person was dead.
"I am so sorry".
A/N I want to begin by saying sorry for getting your hopes high and then... Just so you know, this chapter was very emotional for me, I hope you felt the vibe. This is what I planned to do since the beginning and I feel that even if you didn't think Leo would die, when you read about the poison in the last chapter, you started preparing.
Is something off, though? Hmm... Why is Mikey sorry?
See you, guys, in the next chapter. Please review and let me know what you think.