2007

Later that night…

Pam sits completely motionless in-between her mother and Ryan's mother. Her eyes stare off into space while Ryan's mother nervously twists her hands together. At one point Pam thinks she hears her praying, looking on her other side she sees her mother holding her father's hand…her eyes worried.

Jim sits across from her. He has a cup of coffee in his hands and he looks just as motionless and dazed as her. Anyone who sampled Packer's drinks were brought to the hospital and given a shot. When the doctor rolled up Pam's sleeve, she asked feeling her sides shake what exactly he was giving her. The doctor gave her a warm smile before sticking her skin, telling her it was just something to make the room stop spinning. Pam now felt tired, her mind slowing down.

Karen was taken by the doctors, she couldn't stop throwing up. The doctors told Jim she would more than likely be fine but they wanted to watch her. The others are down at the police station making statements. Dwight and Michael at first were headed to the hospital when the sheriff pulled them aside and asked if they didn't mind coming down to the station to speak with him. As far as Pam knew Packer were arrested.

It all seemed like a blur.

This was the Christmas party from Hell…

Pam was thinking about earlier, back when things were okay. How the usually craziness went on before the party, and how Ryan had proposed on the roof top as snowflakes fell in his rich dark hair. Staring down at her ring it dawned on her she hadn't even told her parents she was engaged.

She had noticed her mother looking down at her hands but didn't say anything. It didn't seem right. In fact, as far as Pam knew Ryan could be dead…this meant this ring was nothing but a broken promises. She didn't expect this night to end like this. Shutting her eyes, she couldn't believe this. Going back all the way to that drunken night when Ryan had been kind enough to drive her home, when they two of them had blacked out and spend the night making love. How the next morning he had lunged at Roy who was twice his size and screamed at him never to hit her. How they had shared coffee, and suddenly didn't feel awkward or weird, in fact they felt as though they had known each other for years.

How she was able to break away from her old trapped life and started a new one with Ryan.

She wanted tonight to be special. She wanted to lay in their bed back home and gaze up at her ring day dreaming of her perfect wedding, greeting him down the ail. It seemed so funny, earlier today she was wondering if this morning's love making had resulted in an unexpected pregnancy…now her fiancé, her best friend, and soul mate might be dying on the operating table.

Just then the swinging doors opened, the doctor appeared wearing scrubs. Right away everyone shot up. The doctor walked over before putting his hands on his hips. Right away Pam felt Ryan's mother squeeze her hand. Pam felt her heart freezing up.

"He's going to be fine. The operation went fine. He lost a lot of blood, and we had some trouble keeping him stable but he should be okay."

Ryan's mother clutched her chest, relief spilled out onto her face.

"He's going to be okay?!"

The doctor nodded.

"Like I said we had a hard time stabilizing him, but he's fine. He's sedated, but he should be okay."

Pam felt a hand on her shoulder and saw it was Jim, she was grateful and the most sudden feeling of relief swept over her. Right away Pam gulped.

"Can I see him?"

24 hours earlier…

Blood, it's all over her hands. She hears a loud heartbeat, it echoes all around her. Snapping her eyes shut, her knees buckle and she falls into the deep darkness that now surrounds her.

Blood, it's all over her hands…

Pam snapped awake, right away her eyes widened before she blinked and stared up at the ceiling. Taking a second, her heart pounded in her chest. Taking a deep breath she eyed the clock radio on her nightstand and knew it was just another dream…

Sighing, she rubs her face with her hands. Her head is killing her. Looking over, she sees Ryan fast asleep beside her. He face looks so peaceful in the darkness of their bedroom, so handsome. Pam smiles, looking at him before snuggling in close. Tomorrow is the dreadful Dunder Mifflin Christmas party…

Smiling, she remembers last year. Snuggling in close to him, Pam rests her head on his chest and slowly closes her eyes.

He always keeps the nightmares away.

Still smiling, she faintly hears his heartbeat.

The next day, that evening in Michael's office…

"Bad mother fucker…"

Packer said, pretending to aim the gun. Ryan looks up just in time, he's sweating badly now and feels sick to his stomach. The gun goes off within a second and the loud crack shot echoes through the small room. Ryan sits there and feels pressure slightly knocking him back in his chair, almost making him sit up straight. He blinks, almost in disbelief before looking down at himself.

Right away an ugly soaking red stain begins to form over his white button up shirt. He gulps, looks at everyone and sees their shocked expressions. He stares at Packer, gun smoke still thick in the air and blinks.

He looks down at himself again and sees all the blood.

He's been shot.

Everything begins to fade away, he feels blood gurgle up in his throat. He can't believe any of this is happening.

He hears screams, but everything seems so distant, the lights are too bright, and he feels cold.

Then he hears Pam.

Pam, he wants Pam. She'll make it all better. He feels her hand grip his and he begins to feel himself get pulled away. He tries to stay, but it's so hard.

He isn't ready…

He can't leave her…

Present

It's morning.

Christmas morning.

Snow falls from the clear white sky.

Pam is able to see him first. She's exhausted, and her makeup has now since run and dried. Before going down the hallway Jim shuffles his feet and tells her he hopes Ryan is okay. She's grateful for that but can't seem to make herself smile.

She enters the room, slowly opening the door. She peaks in.

He lays in the hospital bed, the covers up to his waist. There seems to be at least ten different things hooked up to him and a small monitor shows his pulse, it's weak but steady. He has oxygen feeding into his nose, and she sees an IV bag of blood on a pole.

She feels sick.

She slowly walks over, rubbing her arms. She takes hold on the chair beside the bed and slowly eases herself into it. She gulps, before brushing her hair away from her face and holds in a cry. This wasn't how she expected to spend Christmas morning.

He looks so pale.

She reaches and takes his hand, remembering that morning after they first slept together and how Ryan had lunged at Roy. Feeling her heart ache, she clears her throat.

"Ryan?"

His eyelids slowly flutter, the doctor explained to her he would be sort of groggy when he first woke up. Finally his eyes open, exposing those brilliant big blue eyes. They seem slightly dazed before she blinks and looks at her.

His eyes clear.

"Pam?"

His throat sounds worn, Pam bites down on her bottom lip to control herself. She squeezes his hand.

"Yeah baby, it's me."

Ryan blinks again, looking around the room before looking back at her. Pam feels a single tear rolling down her face. She picks up Ryan's hand and gently kisses it before putting it against her face. Shutting her eyes she finds comfort.

Ryan's fingers slowly press against her face and tickles her skin. Pam laughs, sniffling in before opening her eyes.

He's smiling.

"I was so scared…"

She says, feeling herself shake. He looks at her, still smiling before finding her hand again and holding it.

"Don't worry Pam, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

She laughs through her tears and this makes this smile.

She doesn't leave his side the rest of the day.

One week later.

Ryan sits up in the hospital bed. Pam is in a sweater and slacks, she lays on the bed beside him. Her arms around him and her head resting on his shoulder. They're both watching TV, it's New Years Eve.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

Pam smiles as everyone on the TV screen begins to cheer. She lifts up her head before looking at Ryan. He sees better now and in a couple of days will be able to go home. The doctors said he was lucky.

"Happy new year Ryan."

"Happy new year Pam."

They kiss before Pam rests her head on his shoulder again, smiling and squeezing him as tight as she can. Ryan sits there, feeling better and knows the real reason he held on…

He had somebody to live for.

Smiling, he lays back with Pam and stays that way for a very long time.

The End