Disclaimer: GTFO!
Author's note: As it is my first day off work since the 11th, I have written two future chapters and I am starting this one. Wish me luck! Also, aside from working at Denny's I'm working at gamestop, in which they're having a SUPER sale going on right now. Y'all should go.
Boy or girl, decide, decide, my reviewers.
And thank you Angel Avery for continuing to review!
Beer. Whether it's for irresponsible college boys, or fathers coming home from work.
Rinoa had been laying quietly upon her mattress when Seifer returned home. She was not yet asleep, however, as there was a million ideas running through her body that she could still feel the tingle of her fingertips. Though Seifer had silently shut the door and shed his clothes, she heard every rustle. When he slipped under the covers with her, she flinched.
His skin was rather cold, and the stubble from not shaving gave a little tickle. But the breath, oh how it reeked of whiskey. Kissing him would be like taking a shot for herself. He put his mouth up to her ear.
"Awake, eh?" He whispered subtly, making the smell even stronger. She could not wait for the next morning when he would be whiskey-free and go back to his natural, earth smell.
"Yes." Her voice was quiet, but a little squeaky. Perhaps he had the right idea about whispering. She turned to face him, and she could see the bright green eyes even with only the moonlight illuminating the room. She rested her hand on his face, and rubbed her thumb against the grain of his stubble. "Seifer?"
"Yeah, Rin?" The words were a tad slurred, but she heard them nonetheless. Maybe she shouldn't drop the bomb on him just yet. But a little nudge and foreshadowing wouldn't hurt the situation. She was curious on how he would react to holding an infant son, or daughter. It was thoughts like this that caused her to be side-tracked. Would it be a boy, would it be a girl? What would she name it?
"Seifer…do you think that I'm like, the one for you?" His eyes met hers and his expression yielded no answer. It was still the slovenly look of a man who spent too much time away from home, and at a bar.
"Yeah, yeah Rin, I do." He put his arm around her.
"No, no, I'm serious Seifer. You know, there's this theory. All humans in the beginning of time were just one human with two sets of everything. Legs, arms, you name it. And then, since the gods above saw that humans were getting too powerful, he split 'em all in two. And ever since, each person is constantly looking for their other half so they could feel whole again. Do you really, honestly think that you can spend every day with me, until the day you die?" He seemed to be fading in and out of the conversation.
"It's a great bedtime story, babe. But not too logical, so I may have to disregard that theory. As for the other part, yes, I think I could spend every day with me, until I die. Which won't be too long from now if I don't get some sleep. Man, I'm going to be hurting tomorrow." Rinoa sighed, and kissed him while ignoring the strong taste of alcohol.
She was content with the answer. As long as she knew he could spend every day with her, she knew that they could raise a child. They had so much love for each other, it seemed to spill over, and it would be enough for any child they had.
She needed to tell him, but he was already asleep. Now was simply not the time. But tomorrow, tomorrow she will. Afterall, she didn't have that much of a choice. He too, needed to go to the doctor. And he needed to be in a state that was not paralysis due to shock.
How would you go about telling something like this? How do you tell someone that their life is about to drastically change and every future decision to be made will have a new variable to decide for?
Rinoa listened to the soft snore of the man she loved, and buried herself deep beneath the pink sheets. She moved closer to him to feel his warmth. Reaching behind her, she grasped his hand. It was rough from the wisdom of work. Hard, aggressive SeeD work. She placed it on her stomach, to let him get the first feel of his newborn child.
With the father of her child's arms wrapped around her, she felt soothed, and soon fell asleep.
Upon waking up, Seifer was still snoring like a grizzly bear. She knew that today would be the day that he found out he was going to be a father. The words still felt strange on her tongue. Mother, father, child. During her bath she repeated the words to herself.
The idea hadn't completely sunken in yet. It was her prime concern, her first thought when she woke up. She looked at her slim stomach and wondered when she would start to show. What would she look like with a big round belly on her small physique? The slender skin stretching from her breasts to below her navel would soon be the environment for a youthful infant, a new life.
Perhaps this was the best thing she could offer, in her life. She was fulfilling her duties as a human, afterall. But she still had lingering doubts. Was she even responsible enough to create a productive member of society? She had decided long ago, that the goal for her child would be to improve his or her life by fifty percent of what her own was. And my, the bar was set rather low. General Caraway had offered her a lot of money, a lot of things, but that isn't what she wanted. She wanted time, she wanted someone to make her eggs and bacon when she woke up, someone to read her a story before she fell asleep. If anything, General Caraway had told her how not to raise a child, and at least she was aware.
Ah, but Julia. Julia had died much too young. Rinoa was positive though, that her mother was great, even if she didn't remember all that vividly. Julia had died when she was almost five, after a car crash. Now that night, Rinoa remember exact, verbatim, in all detail.
'I don't know what you're talking about, Caraway.' Julia had said it in a cold voice, that still managed to drip with venom despite the beauty in it.
'Don't fucking lie to me Julia, don't you dare fucking lie to me. You still miss him and it's bullshit. He's NEVER coming back.'
Unbeknownst to the couple, small Rinoa Caraway was sitting outside the kitchen door, sitting on a lounge chair. She was picking thread off the cushions, though her mother constantly told her not to. She was tired of loud voices, she was tired of mean words that made her cringe.
'Don't you think I know that? And besides, you have it all wrong. I don't miss him. He-He's gone.' Her mother's voice had dropped in assertiveness, but was still clearly upset. Rinoa tapped her fingers on the chair impatiently.
'I found your letters to him.'
'….'
"Yeah, that's right. I found your fucking letters to him, and I read every last one of them.' Caraway's voice had dropped in volume, and the sound of his footsteps grew closer.
'H-How dare you.' Julia stated, stomping her foot. She heard quicker footsteps. 'Don't touch me!'
'How dare I? Are you even asking that? How dare YOU! I welcome you into my home, into luxury and this is how I'm repaid. You're obsessed with a fucking soldier who never gave a damn about you, and who's probably dead.' There was the sound of breaking glass. There was the sound of faster footsteps, of backing up and of a quiet sob.
'Don't say that!' The voice was shrill, not at all the musical symphony that usually erupted from those vocal chords.
'This is exactly what I mean. You're still in love with him aren't you? You don't love me at all, huh?" She heard a stumble, and fall over a chair.
'I married you, and I gave you a daughter. How can you say that?' There was another readjustment of the chair. Rinoa peeked in the swinging kitchen door. Caraway was climbing up. She looked at her mother, who's arm was resting on the table, and one covering her mouth, to quiet the sobs that didn't seem to stop coming.
'Yeah, I was second best. You'll never love me like you loved him. No matter how much I buy you, no matter how well I treat you.' Julia's eyes were closed but a stream of tears still steadily flowed, moving around her fingers and down her wrists.
Julia's voice, after a deep breath was calm and cold when she replied, without whimper or stutter or sob.
"I don't give a damn what you buy me, Caraway.' Her voice started to raise. 'I don't give a damn about this house, I don't give a damn about your car.'
She started to throw things. 'I don't want these stupid vases. I don't want this stupid china, or these stupid wineglasses. I don't even want this stupid ring anymore.'
The ring that she threw hit his chest and fell to the floor with a clear, and almost echoing sound.
'If you really loved me, you would take a week off of your stupid 'job,' and spend time with your family. You wouldn't worry about buying us things. I haven't seen you in our room in weeks. No matter what you do, until you start showing your face around us, you'll never be loved like he was.'
Julia turned and stormed out. Rinoa quickly moved out of the way of the door, but not before seeing Caraway's face, with mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed. Julia was wiping away tears when she emerged. She sat on a chair facing Rinoa.
That image Rinoa remembered. Julia's arm slung carelessly on top of her knees. Her eyes red from crying, but a small smile gracing her perfect features still.
'Are we still going for ice cream, Ma?' Julia laughed in an exhale, that still had the tone of previous tears, and closed her eyes.
'Not tonight, Rinoa. Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll take you. Right now, I just need to be alone.' Julia picked up her purse and grabbed the car keys. Before leaving, she reached down, and kissed Rinoa on the forehead. The faint smell of a floral perfume, the warm arm wrapped around her, the residual wetness on Rinoa's skin from Julia's crying. And Julia's singsong voice as she said her final words.
'I love you, little one.' And with one graceful movement, the movement as light as a ghost, she swept out the door. It was only a few seconds, and Rinoa's ears picked up every song. The start of the car, the too-fast acceleration, and the car that took the life from Julia's eyes and lungs. Rinoa had run outside. Her bare feet met the dampness of pavement met with a previous rain.
And there she saw her mother. Arm again, slung carelessly outside the window of the car. As Rinoa ran up to the car, with Caraway running behind her, the picture was becoming more clear. The blood looked silver under the illuminated street lamp. The body, limp. Rinoa had just grasped a hand that still felt warm when Caraway lifted her and took her away from the wreckage.
Rinoa's recollection was interrupted by a series of knocks on the door.
"Rinoa, I have to get in there! It's an emergency!" Selphie's voice rang high and alerted. Rinoa grumbled and opened the drain, dressing in a towel and robe before exiting. Selphie screeched a 'thanks!' before running in and slamming the door. Again, Rinoa was alone with Seifer, who seemed jolted because of the slam.
"Good morning, angel." He said, in a groggy voice that was almost incoherent while he stretched. She smiled and bounded on the bed next to him.
"Good morning, Seifer." She kissed him on the head and he laid back down on the pillow.
"So are you going to actually spend time with me today, instead of staying home and being a wet blanket?" Rinoa's nerves tinged a little but she just smiled a little bit.
"I fully intend on spending the day with you, Seifer." She said with a little smile. Little did he know, she had her heart set on visiting the doctor's today.
"Then what do you want to do?" He asked. Oh, he had set her up. She could just say she wanted to go to the doctor's because she was pregnant. Just blurt it all out right now. But that seemed impossible. When she opened her mouth, it felt dry. No, she wouldn't do it that way.
"Well, what do you want to do today?" She asked sweetly. She was stumbling over words.
"How about I take you to a very expensive restaurant for lunch, and then we bring a bottle of champagne back home, and celebrate right here." He motioned to the bed, and Rinoa leaned in and kissed him.
"You're so sweet, baby….but no good." Seifer tilted his head a little.
"That sounded like a very good plan, to me." Looking at his confused face, she had decided now was the only time, the only chance she really had.
"You see Seifer, I don't think we should treat ourselves to a fancy lunch, we should save our money. And champagne, that is completely out of the question." Seifer's face frowned, and the look of confusion had not yet evaporated.
"I don't get it. Why not? Why should we save our money? I earned it for a reason, so we can spend it." She took a deep breath.
"Because…we're going to need it when the baby comes." His face did not yield an expression. She was sure alarm was shown clearly on hers. His eyes looked back and forth across the room.
"What baby? Who's baby is coming here?" His voice was quick, and dumbfounded. Rinoa wanted to slap her hand on her forehead. But instead, she looked at him and smiled weakly.
"Our baby is." His face was still expressionless for a few seconds. His eyes started to grow wide, so wide that she felt any second they could fall out. He sat up a little bit, and shook his head.
"Rinoa, I don't know what delusions you're having, but need I remind you of something. I am not fertile enough to produce a child. I'm actually the opposite." He looked at her with eyes still wide. His speech was slow. She could almost see the synapses at work.
"Well, that's what I told the doctor-"
"You went to a doctor and didn't tell me? How long have you known?" He started to get angry. He rested his face in his palms and seemed to have went pale.
"Less than 24 hours, I swear! The doctor said we can come in, he can test you to prove your fertility, and check on the baby." He looked at her, and the anger was rising with him. She could almost feel the heat radiated off his body.
"You say that like we agreed to keep the thing." He spewed, standing up from the bed. Rinoa crossed her arms. She took offense. This was no longer a thing to her. This was her child growing inside her. Her baby, her life-long commitment.
"For one, it is not a 'thing,' it is a child. And for two, what are you suggesting?" She squinted at him and her breathing got heavy. She too was getting rather upset. Why didn't he see the wonderment of this, how amazing this was?
"We didn't even talk about any options yet. God damn it, I found out three fucking minutes ago, that I'm going to be a father, and you already decided to keep it?"
"Seifer, I can tell you that I'm already fully aware of what my options are, and that I'm opposed to abortion."
"I didn't necessarily say abortion, have you even thought about adoption?" Rinoa was silenced. No, she hadn't. But she knew that she couldn't. By now, she had accepted it was fate. It was fate that had planned this child. And as she let this miracle grow for the next 9 months, she would not be able to let it go. All this thinking had already made her decision for her.
"Seifer, I am keeping this baby." She said in almost a whisper. Her heart jumped with joy, after feeling the finality. This baby would be hers. She was slowly but surely, falling in love with it already.
"God damn it, this shouldn't just be your decision! I should get fucking say in it too!" He pounded his fist in the wall. She shuddered, but managed to keep her composure. And with the voice of Julia, she too made a remark that would make him ache.
"Seifer, this is happening, this is real. And this baby is coming, whether you choose to be a part of it's life or not." She could tell it had hit him. He bit his lip and looked around the room in a frenzy. He quickly started getting dressed.
"I can't deal with this right now, Rin. I'll be back later." He slammed the door and Rinoa shook.
Well, that hadn't exactly went as smooth as she had wanted it.
But what she had said hit her too. This is real. This baby is coming.