"Let me go! Lemme go!" Alan screamed as he tugged against John's hold. "Don't hurt me please! I promise I'll be good!"

John's face went white as his grip suddenly loosened. Pulling away, John swam away from Alan, before hauling himself out of the water and running off into the house. Virgil who was closer to Alan than any of the other brothers wrapped his arms around Alan's shoulder before pulling him into his chest.

"Let's go for a walk kiddo." Virgil pulled Alan through the water, before lifting him into a piggyback as he walked across the pavement headed down towards the beach. Alan remained quiet as Virgil walked with Alan clinging to his back. When he reached the beach, Virgil sat on the sand, easing his little brother to sit in the sand before moving over slightly to give Alan his space.

"…I'm sorry." Alan mumbled as he kept his gaze directed at the ocean in front of him. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry!"

"Hey, hey…ssh…hey kiddo. Hey, nothing is your fault okay?" Virgil whispered as he turned to gently grip Alan's chin between his thumb and forefinger. "You did nothing wrong alright kiddo?"

Alan just remained quiet.

"I know you didn't mean to scream at John, but it's okay. You did nothing wrong." Virgil redirected his gaze to the sand as he focused on burying his feet beneath the sand.

"I didn't mean to." Alan whispered brokenly.

"I know that and Johnny knows that too. It's okay." Virgil tried to soothe.

"But it's not okay! Sir told me I was better…" Alan wiped at his stinging eyes with the heels of his hands.

"Ssh Alan…it's okay." Virgil continued to soothe before draping his arms around Alan's shoulder and pulling the boy flush with his side. "We'll get through this baby."

"I'm sorry…" Alan sniffled as he raised one of his arms to rub across his eyes. "I'm sorry…"

"Ssh…you're okay. It's going to be okay." Virgil hugged Alan as the boy cried miserably.

… … … … … … …

John sat on the family keepsake trunk in the basement of the island house. He had his legs crossed; his arms locked at the elbows, shoulders hunched and head hanging. He looked to be the true picture of misery when Scott and Jeff found him.

"I can't believe I did that." John said almost with his voice almost detached.

"John it's okay." Scott knelt before John, placing his hand on his younger brother's knee.

"But it's not okay!" John replied, unknowingly echoing Alan's previous bemoaning statement.

"John, you didn't do it on purpose. You were playing a game, how were you supposed to know it'd be Alan you grabbed?" Jeff sat beside John on the family keepsake trunk. "Even I didn't know Alan would react that badly, and I'm his father…I should have known how he'd react to being grabbed like that."

"But dad, I shouldn't have done what I did. I should have just reached out to tap his arm, not grab him by the arm so roughly." John reached up with the heel of his hand and scrubbed at his burning eyes. "He's going to be terrified of me now dad. We should have just left his room alone so he could stay away from me."

"Jonathan Glenn Tracy, you listen now and you listen to me good…you didn't do this on purpose. You were playing a game, one that involves quick movements and sometimes harried touches…but you young man did not set out to upset your brother!" Jeff squeezed John's neck in assurance. "Just give him some time and space and he'll come around."

Pulling John into him, Jeff comforted John to the best of his paternal abilities. Scott sat on John's other side and he wrapped an arm around John's shoulders, trying to comfort his little brother and let him know he was neither mad at or upset with John in any way, shape or form.

… … … … … … …

Virgil lay on the sand, Alan's head on his chest as he ran his fingers through Alan's maize colored hair. Joined by Gordon, the three brothers lay in silence for several minutes.

"He used to hurt me…" Alan whispered.

"Who?" Gordon lay with his folded arms beneath his head as he looked up at the clouds which floated lazily by.

"Kenneth…my…foster brother." Alan admitted. "He…"

"It's okay kiddo, you don't need to tell us." Virgil halted Alan's words, not really wanting to hear what this Kenneth person had done to him in addition to what the boy put up with in Ray's presence.

"Mr. and Mrs. Newton used to take off every Friday night…Kenneth was my babysitter." Alan continued as if he hadn't been told not to speak of the unspeakable. "I hated Friday night, because that was when I was never safe."

Gordon inclined his head to look at Alan the same time Virgil did. They shared a meaningful look over the top of Alan's head before focusing on their baby brother.

"What happened bucko?" Gordon urged gently.

"Kenneth used to do what he called pillow parties…" Alan spoke with a quavering voice. "I'd always beg him not to, because it hurt…but he still did them anyway."

"What's a pillow party?" Gordon asked with uncertainty.

"You make a human pillow and beat the snot out of them." Virgil offered. "Usually by covering the person in pillows, or pillow cases and hit them with whatever you have for a weapon…shoes, baseball bats, your feet, fists…anything that will cause pain."

"Kenneth used to make me sit in a pillow case…one that went over my head and tie it so I couldn't get out. Then he'd hit me…usually until I quit fighting back." Alan clung to Virgil's shirt as he squeezed his eyes closed.

"Why?" Virgil felt anger well up in his chest.

"'Cause he didn't get in trouble." Alan replied, softly.

"Your foster mom and dad never stopped him?!" Gordon was appalled.

"No, if I told on Kenneth, they'd ask him if I was telling the truth and they'd believe him over me…then they wouldn't give me dinner or lunch or sometimes wouldn't let me eat until the next day." Alan supplied.

Gordon looked at Virgil and their eyes met. They couldn't help but believe all of what Alan was saying. They'd seen the pictures their dad and John showed them and they saw the bruises. Including the black eye where Alan's eyeball was bloodshot from a hit which according to Alan's social worker prior to Ms. Alexander had been inflicted with a knee to the face.

"Did Kenneth ever do anything else besides pillow parties?" Virgil enquired, aware that he was crossing a fine line.

"He used to make me…play dress up." Alan replied softly.

"Dress up?" Gordon cocked his head in confusion.

"Yeah…in frilly dresses. He liked to make me wear girl's clothes." Alan refused eye contact in shame of what he was telling two of his brothers.

"Girl's clothes?" Virgil asked softly in response to Alan's admission.

"Mm-hmm. He made me put on skirts, dresses, pants…he would even do my hair up in pigtails." Alan bit his lip. "He was always talking to people on the computer too."

"What do you mean?" Virgil felt his heart clench, surely Alan couldn't mean…

"They'd tell him what to make me dress up as, and he'd make me change before coming back in front of him and the computer." Alan poked his bottom lip out. "It was embarrassing."

"I'm sure it was kiddo." Gordon replied. "How long?"

"Until the last night before I left. One of Kenneth's friends wanted to see me in a girl's bathing suit but I wouldn't wear it." Alan buried his face in Virgil's shirt. "I made Kenneth mad and he made me play a round of a pillow party."

Virgil gave an involuntary shiver…Alan was being broadcast out to freaks…ones that liked seeing…'No, no! That's just wrong!'

"Did I do the right thing?" Alan inquired, shaky voice and all.

"Yes Alan…you were right to refuse to play dress up. Kenneth shouldn't have forced you to do something you didn't want to do." Gordon understood enough to know that what Alan endured was sick and depraved and he shouldn't have been subjected to that.

"Did it ever go any farther?" Virgil wanted to know so he could let their dad know.

"No, not really. Kenneth liked to smooth out the clothing, but I never had to deal with that much…I managed to make sure there weren't any wrinkles." Alan replied.

… … … … … … …

John sat with his head in his hands as he remained in the basement. He couldn't believe he'd practically scared the living daylights out of Alan. Drying his eyes, John stood up before going up the stairs to go out to the beach. Anything was better than beating himself up over what he'd done.

… … … … … … …

John walked along the beach quietly and kept to himself. He heard talking and was just about to turn and head back up to the villa but he froze when he heard Alan speaking.

"No, not really. Kenneth liked to smooth out the clothing, but I never had to deal with that much…I managed to make sure there weren't any wrinkles." Alan said.

"Is that all he ever did, smoothing out the clothes?" Gordon asked.

"Kind of…he always smiled and told me I was a good boy. Sometimes, even if I got in trouble with Mr. and Mrs. Newton and was punished by going without food, if I did all that Kenneth asked me to do…he'd get me a plate of dinner and he'd tell his parents he'd still been hungry if they asked about it the next morning." Alan's voice was barely heard, but John leaned against the rock which he'd stood behind as he listened to what Alan had to deal with.

'No wonder he was so scared when I grabbed his arm.' John thought to himself as he remained in his hiding spot.

"My case worker took me away from them…I don't really remember leaving. I just remember waking up on the couch in my caseworker's office." Alan turned his face to hide more in the fabric of Virgil's t-shirt. "I was put in a home for orphans after that."

"An orphanage?" Gordon asked incredulously. "Why weren't you placed with another family?"

"Because I hit…I didn't want to be placed with another family. So me and several other kids were put in a home for orphans." Alan admitted softly. "They tried to place me with other families as I grew older, but it never worked out. They were always mean, or hurt me and the others – one place kept eight of us in a two room cabin."

"What happened to that place?" Virgil asked softly.

"I was taken to the hospital with pneumonia I think – then Ms. Alexander became my case worker." Alan admitted, shame dripping from his words.

"What happened after that?" Gordon inquired.

"Ms. Alexander kept me with her for a while – until I was well. I was placed with another family; they only had me for a month before I went back to the home for orphans. I was placed with Pastor Woods not long after." Alan's eyes welled with tears. Pastor Woods and his family treated Alan like family, Pastor Woods remained patient with Alan – treating him like a growing boy and taking the time to sit down and get to know him. "I miss them."

"Maybe dad will let you go visit them before school starts." Virgil tried to remain upbeat even as he felt his heart breaking. Alan missed a family that wasn't his by blood more than he felt comfortable with his dad and brothers who were related by blood.

"I don't think so." Alan pushed away from Virgil and stood on shaky limbs before limping away from Virgil and Gordon to go be by himself. Virgil and Gordon shared another look as they sat up, watching Alan limp away.

"Virgil…what can we do to cheer Alan up?" Gordon pouted as he watched his little brother limp away.

"I don't know, but there's got to be something." Virgil sighed as an idea occurred to him. They could possibly cheer Alan up, but doing so might just mean further heartbreak. For them as a family. "Maybe we shouldn't have taken Alan from the Woods."

"Yeah, but I wonder if he was like this even when he lived with them." Gordon glanced over his shoulder as he heard shuffling behind him. "John?"

"It's me." John met his brother's eyes before sitting down beside two of his younger brothers.

"How much of that did you hear?" Gordon asked questioningly.

"I heard from the point of Kenneth forcing Alan to play dress up." John let his hands dangle between his knees. "I didn't mean to terrify Alan the way I did."

"We know that…and Alan knows that too. It's just going to take him a short while to get over the mishap. I'm assuming everything life has thrown at him so far hasn't made adjusting to life back with us very easy." Virgil reasoned.

"John…where did you get that sketchbook?" Gordon decided to reveal what he believed.

"Which sketchbook?" John didn't know exactly which one Gordon was talking about as Pastor Woods had given him several of Alan's sketchbooks that he'd discarded.

"The one with the guy with devil horns emerging from his head." Gordon played with the sand as if it was something fascinating.

"You saw that one did you?" John bit his lip. "Please don't tell Alan you saw that one. That was from one of his therapy sessions with a child psychologist just after having been placed with The Woods family."

Virgil looked between his brothers in a confused fashion. "What?"

"Alan was placed for a short while with a child psychologist just after having been placed with the Woods family to act as his guardians. The psychologist encouraged him to draw the object of his nightmares, the ones that typically send him into a panic attack." John explained.

"I saw one of the first pictures…I think I recognized the guy." Gordon admitted.

"Who?" John's head snapped up to meet Gordon's eye.

"I believe the drawing was of Ray…the guy with the devil horns." Gordon gestured with his index fingers at the top of his head to symbolize horns.

"Where do you think you've seen him?" John needed to know, had to know – hopefully he wasn't out of prison, not after having abused Alan, Devon and murdering his wife.

"He was the guy who worked at the arcade I used to go to in Manhattan; I took Alan with me there whenever dad told me to take Alan along." Gordon felt the sick feeling return. "He always…always gave Alan a free soda or candy bar – extra tokens to play some of the games that he could play at his height. Never let me pay for anything he gave Alan, but he never let me get something for free like he did with Alan."

"Did he act any different after Alan was kidnapped?" Virgil asked, shock making his voice quiver.

"He gave me a hug and would ask me if we'd found him yet whenever I went there after Alan was taken." Gordon frowned before feeling like he wanted to punch something. "At one point he even told me that wherever Alan was – he was most likely safe and sound. The bastard, he was harboring Alan and knew he was my little brother!" Gordon couldn't stop the tears that had welled into his eyes and he just let them fall.

Gordon leaned into Virgil arms when the teen wrapped him in a hug.

"Why? If he had Alan, why didn't he give him back to us?" Gordon choked out as he tried to dry his eyes in the collar of his t-shirt. "I just don't understand!"

"It's something we may never understand Gordo." John chewed on his lip.

… … … … … … …

Alan limped along the beach, heading down to one of the lagoons. He still couldn't believe he'd gotten so upset and had yelled at John the way he had. He knew it was John who'd grabbed him – yet he still couldn't stop himself from experiencing a panic attack.

"I thought I had gotten better. Pastor Woods and my doctor said I was." Alan found a rock to sit on and he sat with his back facing the villa as he pulled his knees to his chest. Biting his lip, Alan tried not to cry. Sniffing back his tears, Alan roughly scrubbed his sleeve across his eyes. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you Allie." Alan whirled around at the sound of John's voice and his bottom lip poked out as he fought the want to cry. He felt so sorry for upsetting John the way he had and he wanted nothing more than to apologize. John squatted down and held his arms open for Alan "Come here Allie."

Swallowing a sob, Alan hurriedly scrambled to his older brother and wrapped him into a tight rib breaking hug.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Johnny!" Alan sobbed as he squeezed the life out of John.

"Ssh, I know you're sorry Allie. I'm not mad at you." John shushed as he cradled his baby brother in his arms. "Do you forgive me?"

"Why, you didn't do anything?" Alan buried his face into John's shoulder.

"I did Allie, I scared you. I didn't mean to." John hugged Alan tightly.

"What's wrong with me Johnny?" Alan pulled away from John's shoulder enough to meet his brother's gaze.

"Nothing's wrong with you Allie, absolutely nothing." John pulled Alan back into a hug as he sat on the sand and in doing so he pulled Alan onto his lap. Humming the lullaby he recalled his mother singing to him and their brothers – John managed to calm Alan's tears. Alan rested his head on John's shoulder and together the two of them sat and watched the surf. "Hey Allie?"

"Yeah?" Alan asked without moving his head from John's shoulder.

"How would you feel about going to go stay for a week with the Woods family?" John broached the subject that their dad brought up to him and Scott just after the fall out of the pool incident.

"Why? You guys aren't going to get rid of me are you?" Alan looked at John with tears beginning to mist his eyes again.

"No! No…Allie no. We'll all be going to spend a week with the Woods family. All of us. Dad is thinking that since we still aren't really receiving calls but periodically – then we can afford to take a week off to just spend time together and try to be a family." John tightened his grip on Alan, fearing the boy might disappear should he relinquish his hold. "I just recall you saying that you missed Pastor Woods and the family and dad was thinking that we could all go visit for a week."

"I guess that'd be okay. Alan said as he picked up a handful on sand before allowing it to sift through his fingers. "When would we be leaving?"

"I've been told it'd be next week." John pulled Alan against him a little bit tighter.

"Can't it be tomorrow?" Alan asked as he made himself comfortable in John's arms. "I want to see them now."

"I know you do kiddo, but we can't go until next week." John smoothed Alan's hair back. "What do you say we head up for a late lunch huh kiddo? I'd imagine you're close to starving by now."

"Not really." Alan refused food, not really feeling hungry.

"Come on back with me though kiddo. I promise I'm not gonna hurt you." John tried to string his brother along back up to the house. He himself wasn't very hungry either but he knew the both of them had to eat even if it was a late lunch.

"Fine." Alan slowly agreed and he stood, favoring the foot that was still quite sore.

"How's your ankle Alan?" John asked, curious as to how his brother was feeling physically.

"It's okay." Alan said as he shuffled forward, limping noticeably.

"Do you want a piggy back kiddo?" John offered, hoping Alan would accept if only so that he didn't tire himself out.

"Nu-uh. Thanks but no John." Alan refused as he continued limping along, only accepting John's help when they started going up the stairs leading to the patio.

"Okay." John stayed close but not enough to smother Alan and he hoped Alan wouldn't be mad when he discovered his bedroom having been rearranged. When Alan and John entered the villa, it was to a totally silent home, achingly silent to be honest. Going to their father's office, John and Alan were shocked to see it in Command and Control mode and their dad was gone himself. "How did I not hear the klaxon?"

"I didn't hear it." Alan said as he wondered how they could have possibly missed the klaxon, it was a loud wailing siren – kind of hard to miss it, even when asleep.

"I know, I just can't figure out how we missed it." John said as he walked to his father's desk. He found a hurriedly scribbled note from his father. It read:

'John, Alan

Didn't want to disturb you two while you were patching things up, went on a rescue to Australia, seems like a brush fire that got out of hand, should be back in a few hours.

Virgil fixed you two sandwiches before we left and those are in the fridge, please eat and make sure you and Alan relax. I purposely used the silent alarm; don't beat yourselves up over not hearing the alarm. I intended you two to stick together to try to work things out.

Love you both and we'll see you when we get home.

Dad

"Looks like it's just you and me kiddo." John said as he laid the note down. "What do you say to grabbing those sandwiches from the fridge and sitting down to watch a movie?"

"Sure." Alan shrugged before limping towards the kitchen.

"I'll grab the sandwiches if you'll get us a soda." John bargained, wanting his brother to not have to carry too much with his unstable gait.

"Okay." Alan replied as he grabbed him and John a couple of sodas and a bag of chips to munch on with their sandwiches. Heading into the living room, John and Alan both piled onto the couch and selected a movie they hoped would be good – it was family friendly for the most part, action filled…a little language but no sexual content or anything that would be making John cover Alan's ears anytime soon.

… … … … … … …

When Jeff, Scott, Gordon and Virgil returned from the rescue – they were surprised to find both John and Alan fast asleep on the couch. John's head was reclined back, his feet crossed at the ankles while propped on the coffee table while Alan was resting against John, using big brother's chest as a pillow and clutching to John's t-shirt as he slumbered on. Jeff couldn't resist and he grabbed a spare blanket from the hallway closet and draped it over Alan and John who continued to sleep. A quiet beep was heard as Scott snapped a pic of his two blonde brothers snoozing on the couch.

"Let's let them sleep, neither of them have been resting very well lately." Jeff stated knowingly. Alan and John's lack of sleep was the main reason for rearranging Alan's bedroom to accommodate John's things. Turning from the living room, Jeff shepherded his three sons from the room, giving Alan and John peace and quiet to get some rest.