Eclectic Me asked: I'd be curious to see Raph doing a solo rescue, possibly of a kid, idea slightly inspired by Lone Raph and Cub from 03. It was hard, but I picked Raph because he's typically thought of as the least people friendly of all the guys. Not that he'd be deliberately mean or aggressive to an innocent person, more like just awkward and unsure of how to handle a situation he can't punch his way out of.

Raphael hurt so much he could no longer pinpoint specific injuries. They had all melded together into a single, body-wide ache. Still, it had been worth it. He grinned. That was an arse-kicking those thugs wouldn't soon forget. And now he could head home and wash off the blood and grime and just sit for a few hours.

A high-pitched scream interrupted his thoughts. Right, right, another citizen in trouble. He sighed and turned towards the sound. Another scream tore through the night. That's a kid! His heart lurched in his chest and he put on a burst of speed, ignoring his body's complaints.

Down below in an alley two men stood beside a black limousine, wrestling with a screaming child in a pink dress.

"Hold her!" snapped one.

"I'm trying! Little bitch." The man raised his hand and slapped the girl, who burst into terrified sobs.

Raphael's vision went red. He leaped off the roof and landed on the one not holding the girl, hearing the satisfying crunch of bones snapping. The other one looked at him in horror, then flung the girl at him.

"Fuck!" Raphael suddenly found himself juggling an armful of pink tulle, topped by a pair of red-rimmed green eyes. He hastily put the girl on the ground and ran after the kidnapper. The guy was fast but Raphael was faster. He cornered him and lay into him with fists and feet. "What kind of low-life kidnaps a kid?" he said, knocking the guy out before he could respond.

Raphael made his way back to the limo. The girl was nowhere in sight.

"Hey. Where are you?" he said. There was a scuffling sound from underneath the limo. Raphael crouched down and peered under the car. The girl stared back at him with a wary expression, her dress askew and her cheeks and nose damp. He held out a hand. "They're gone. You can come out. I won't hurt you."

"You're green."

"Well, you're pink. Green's better. Come out and I'll take you home."

"You said a bad word."

Did he? Probably. "Sorry."

"That's naughty. If you say bad words you don't get dessert."

He sighed. "Are you coming out or not?"

She hesitated a little longer, then crawled out. The front of her dress was filthy. She stood in front of him and wrinkled her nose. "You smell."

"Well sorry, I've been working."

"What's all that red stuff?"

"It's bloo- uh, paint. Yeah." He stood. Her head came just up to his hip. "Where do you live?"

"1296 Sycamore Street."

He plugged that into his tPhone. Wow, posh neighbourhood. About an hour's walk away. "All right, let's go." He strode off at his normal pace, then slowed as he realised she wasn't keeping up.

She caught up to him and took his hand. "Why did you paint yourself red?"

"I don't know." He tried to wriggle his fingers free but she had a firm grip. He sighed.

"Are you going to get in trouble?"

"Do you always talk this much?"

"Well of course." She rolled her eyes.

"How old are you?"

"Seven. It's my birthday. They were supposed to take me to my birthday party." Her lip quivered.

He panicked at the sight of imminent tears."Now don't start crying. You're okay."

"I got a new fairy princess costume and everything. Do you like it?"

He looked down at the grimy and sagging dress. "It looks a bit dirty."

"I guess."

"So what's your name?"

"Princess Elsa. What's yours?"

"Raphael."

"That's a funny name. I guess you're a funny person, so you should have a funny name."

"Yeah," he muttered. "I'm hilarious."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

He led her down alleyways, sticking to the shadows. It was slow going, and her steps got slower the further they went. "What's wrong?"

"I'm tired."

He looked at her short legs. An hour's walk across the city probably was too much for a kid. "Okay, here." He bent down and lifted her into his arms.

"If you touch me in a bad place I'll scream."

"What?" He glared down at her, a blush charging up his cheek. "What do you think I am? I'm not going to-" He spluttered in indignation. Holding her this way was awkward so he shifted her so she was sitting on his arm, facing his chest. That was better. "Anyway, screaming is a waste of time. If someone touches you in a bad place, you should kick them between the legs."

"Like this?" Her little foot connected with his lower plastron. "Ouch!"

Raphael winced and stopped walking, glad that he was well tucked away from stray kicks. Still, that had been very uncomfortable. "Yes. Exactly like that."

Now that he was carrying her, he made his way up to the rooftops and set off at a run. That was much faster, and they covered a good distance. She squealed the first time he jumped an alleyway, but after that gripped his neck and laughed. He grinned. This wasn't so bad.

She squirmed in his arms, messing with his balance. "Stop wriggling." She stopped for a while, then squirmed again.

"What's wrong with you?"

She leaned in to whisper in his earhole. "I have to pee."

"Can't you hold it?"

"No. I have to go now!"

"All right, all right! Look I'll jump down and you can pee in the alley."

Elsa gasped. "I can't pee in the alley!"

"Sure you can. I pee in alleyways all the time."

"That's naughty! And if you're naughty-"

Raph sighed. "Yeah, yeah, you get no dessert. Well, where the hell are you going to pee then?"

"I need to pee in the toilet." Her voice rose in distress.

"All right, all right! I'll find you a toilet." He scanned the buildings, grumbling. There was an apartment block across the way. After a little searching he found a window that opened onto a darkened bathroom. "Right," he said to Elsa. "Hang on." He leaped across the alleyway and landed on the fire escape. FRom there he slung them across to the window and slipped into the darkened bathroom.

"I can't see."

"Hang on!" He fumbled around near the door until he found the light switch. "There. Now hurry up," he whispered.

Elsa stared at him.

"What?"

"You can't watch! You have to go outside."

"Oh, right." He hauled himself out the window and waited on the fire escape, shifting his shoulders. The run was keeping him warm but he could feel the night's activities catching up with him.

"What on earth-" A man's voice came through the window. "Who are you? Janet! There's a kid in our bathroom!"

Raph heard Elsa scream, then she appeared at the window. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out, climbing swiftly up to the roof. He could hear the guy leaning out the window, yelling after them. "Did you pee?"

"Yes."

"Good. Let's get you home." He was almost ready to sit down right here, he was so tired.

"Wait."

"What now?"

Elsa held up her hands. "I didn't wash my hands"

Raph groaned. "Does it matter?"

"It's n-"

"Okay, it's naughty, no dessert." He swore. When he got her home, he was going to have words with her parents, he really was.

"That's a bad word."

"I know." He was losing his shit at this poor kid. Breathe in, breathe out. Okay. Ignore the pain, just focus on getting her home. After washing her hands.

He found a faucet on an apartment roof near a greenhouse. She washed her hands, humming as she did. The wind picked up, biting into Raph's aching limbs, not helping with his cooling muscles. Maybe a hot bath when I get home.

"Okay, I'm finished." She held up her hands to be inspected.

"Perfect. Let's go." He picked her up and ran. Another twenty minutes across the roof and his legs were shaking with the effort. He paused on the edge of the roof across from her building. The street below was packed with police cars and television vans.

"Looks like they know you were kidnapped." How was he going to get her down there? That was a lot of people for one missing kid. "What did you say your name was again?"

"Princess Elsa."

He stared at her. He'd assumed she'd just made up the title. "You're not really a princess are you?"

"No, of course not, silly."

"What do your parents do?"

"Dad's an architect. My Mom's a senator."

Well that explained the television vans. "All right, here we go." He leaped across to the other building and climbed down the fire escape into the alley. He placed Elsa on the ground. "Now you go straight around the corner to those policemen, okay?"

"Okay." Elsa threw her hands around his neck and squeezed. She planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Raph froze, then patted her gently on the back, wary of 'bad touching'. "Off you go." He rubbed at the damp spot on his cheek.

"Bye, Raphael."

"Bye, Elsa."

He waited until he heard the shouting, and then climbed back up to the roof. Elsa had been picked up by a policeman and was being carried inside.

And now he had another hour's run to get home. He sighed. This hero business was a crock. He remembered Elsa's arms around his neck. Her parents would be happy. "And that's all you're going to get," he muttered into the night.