Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns.
Two-Bit sticks around and tells me all sorts of stories about what he's been up to—some probably true, some probably half true, and then of course some completely made up—but when he asks me how I'm holding up, he's completely serious.
It throws me, but not in a bad way. When anyone else has asks me this, I wanna throw punches,but Two-Bit doesn't ask it in the I'm-asking-because-it's-polite-to-ask sense. No, he asks because he truly does give a shit about us and not just because he heard somewhere on the streets three boys lost both their parents.
I'm probably just a skeptic. I'm sure most of the people actually do give a shit, but it feels anything but genuine sometimes, and if it's anything less, I don't want to go through the trouble of reminding myself I'm not okay just to answer their damn question. When they ask, you think, and you realize when you tell them you're fine, it's a giant lie.
It's been about five seconds since Two-Bit asked, so I pull myself out of my head and force myself to say something, "As best as anyone could, I guess." But am I really doing the best anyone could? That's what bugs me. Sometimes I don't think I push myself enough... and other times, I think I push myself too much. Is there ever a balance? No, and it's a problem.
Two-Bit reaches over and claps a hand on my shoulder. "If you need anything, man, just let me know, and I mean anything."
I nod. Hardly a thank you for such a nice offer. I don't know why two words are so hard to say, but saying them feels like admitting I need help, and I like to think I'm doing just fine on my own.
"I can even talk to Pony if that kid starts givin' ya too much trouble," Two-Bit continues. "You know, he listens to me. I dunno why he does, but he does."
I crack a small smile in spite myself. The thought of that happening amuses me, and I may have to take him up on the offer some time if not just to see Pony's reaction to being lectured by Two-Bit. "That'd be a sight," I tell him.
"Hey, you know he would!"
The sad thing is he really would, and the last person I'd expect myself to take parenting help from is Two-Bit.
The door swings opens and Soda walks in.
"Guess what?" Two-Bit asks him before he has a chance to say anything.
Soda gives him a funny look. "Um, I got nothin' ... what?"
Two-Bit slings an arm around my shoulder. "I'm gettin' this man right here a date." He messes up my hair, and I shove him.
He shoves me back hard enough I tumble off the couch. I guess it's an invitation to brawl it out, so put him in a headlock and claim a quick victory.
Soda roars with laughter, and I let go of Two-Bit.
"See, Darry?" Two-bit says, pointing at Soda. "Your brother agrees you could use the love of a good woman!"
Soda smirks. "Yeah, Darry, Two-Bit's right," he says. "I think you need to get laid."
"Agreed 112%," Two-Bit adds.
I run a hand through my hair and give them a look that says I'll tackle them both if they keep talking about my sex life.
My irritation makes them laugh harder, and I could just smash both their heads together. It ain't as funny as they think it is. So I'll go on a date. I've been on several before... So I might get some action later. It's all happened before, and when it became some kind of big deal I ain't sure.
"I still don't get what's so funny," I say. "Might I remind you, you used to ask me for advice on girls, little buddy?" It's true too. I remember all those conversations and how great it was to feel like an expert on the art of dating. Now he probably had me beat, but years ago, I was the ladies man.
"It's funny 'cause you're so embarrassed," Soda tells me.
I feel like telling them both I'm not embarrassed, but the blood rush to my face would indicated I am.
Within a minute, they're off the subject, thank God. Now they're comparing the girls they're interested in instead. I listen out of curiosity and offer nothing to the conversation. Soda talks a lot about a girl named Sandy, ridiculously so. And Two-Bit insists Kathy has a wild side, and from the sounds of it, he intends to bring it out.
I should say something. Considering Soda and I used to talk about girls a lot, I should know who this Sandy is by now, especially since Soda seems ready to take the next step. He's falling hard just like he did for that other girl—Anita. That was a train-wreck. Anita lasted exactly one and a half weeks because Soda was an idiot and came on too strong. I told him not to. I told him girls need space at the beginning, advice I still stand by, but apparently his brother knew nothing about dating or girls.
He finally believed I was right when Steve told him so, so I should hope he's learned his lesson by now.
"So, Darry ..." Two-Bit says. "When I scout out potential dates, you want an innocent lady or a wild child?"
Soda looks hopeful on an answer from me, and I shake my head.
I refuse to answer that. I get up and head to the kitchen, hearing their laughter erupt once more. They just think it's so funny, but what's funnier is I don't need their help. I could just as easily find myself a date on my own if I wanted to. I just don't have the time to devote to a girlfriend right now...
I find Pony and wonder when he rolled in and how I missed it. Well, he came home on time. One thing I won't have to worry about tonight at least, not that he would break curfew. Pony's pretty innocent. All I know is Mom never had to get on his case the way she did mine and especially Soda's. Sometimes we thought that was a a bunch of bullshit, and that she only spoiled the hell out of him because he was her baby, but there might've been some truth to it.
I saw the horror in his eyes when he watched us get in trouble—especially the times when we got Dad to yell—and I guess that was enough to keep him on his toes.
He stands by the sink. Clearly he hasn't seen me yet. I take a couple steps forward, and as I do, I notice a few pills in his hand.
"Pony." I rush up to him the rest of the way and grab his wrist before he gets the chance to swallow them.
He balls his fist up. My heart rate climbs now that he's trying to hide it, but when I pry his fist open, I find nothing more than aspirin. I see the bottle on the counter to confirm it even further, and I feel mighty stupid. I don't know why I worried it could be something worse. He's thirteen and I know him well enough not to do anything, but paranoia got the best of me for a second. Still, it does raise the question: what the hell was he gonna take five aspirin for?
"You can't take five at the same time," I scold him.
His eyes flit away and he jerks his hand out of my grip. "I got a real bad headache," he says. "I need this many or it won't work."
I rub my forehead and wonder how long he's been doing this. "Two works just fine for me," I tell him. "And I'm bigger than you, which means you could probably get by taking just one."
He shrugs. "I always take this many."
He says it so lightly, so casually, I just lose it. "You keep taking that many and your stomach's gonna bleed!"
Everything freezes for a second.
He stares at me, wide-eyed, and I groan, realizing I've just yelled at him and loud too. Loud enough Soda and Two-Bit hear it and pop their heads in.
"What's goin' on?" Two-Bit asks.
"I was just gonna take some aspirin 'cause I have a headache, and Darry flipped out on me," Pony explains, a tinge of annoyance in his voice, but if you look close enough, you can tell he's spooked I yelled at him.
"He was gonna take five aspirin," I say, which changes up his story a great deal and gives me plenty reason to reprimand him.
I turn to him. "I ain't makin' that up, kid … About your stomach bleeding an' all," I add, forcing my voice down a couple registers. I don't want to scare the crap out of him, but he really shouldn't be doing this. "C'mon, it's dangerous."
Pony says nothing. He just stares same way he always does when wishes I'd stop talking.
Two-Bit steps forward and loops an arm around him. "Say, Pony, I think you an' me should go have a little talk." He winks at me as he leads Pony out of the kitchen.
I feel like stopping him. I should be giving Pony this talk, not him.
"What's that about?" Soda asks, giving me a suspicious glance.
"Two-Bit volunteered to help with things... even if it meant giving Pony a lecture," I say with a sigh. Somehow it doesn't seem as funny now that it actually happened.
"Really?"
I point in the direction where Two-Bit and Pony left. "What does it look like?"
Not even a second later we hear Pony laugh. Whatever this is it can't be all that serious of a lecture...
"Hey, you shouldn't yell at Pony like that, Darry."
Thanks, Soda, just what I need to hear right now, but I nod and keep my annoyance to myself. It strikes one hell of a nerve to hear him say it, especially when I hadn't meant to and I caught myself before it got too out of control, but he's right. I shouldn't, and I'll try not to.
He must pick up on my frustration since he changes the subject not even a second later. "So is Two-Bit really gonna find you a date?"
"I honestly have no clue what the hell he plans on doin' or if I'm even gonna agree to go." Honest, I probably won't. I can find my own damn date if I want one bad enough.
"You should," Soda insists. "C'mon, it could be fun."
"Or Two-Bit could hook me up with another Linda..."
Soda smirks; he knows who I'm talking about right away.
Linda was my first date ever, and she was all kinds of whiny and awful. Nothing was good enough for her, except me. I apparently was, being on the football team and all. I guess that made you some kind of celebrity in your high school, but I never realized how popular I was until somebody pointed it out of me.
"Hey, you never know," Soda says. "She could be another Vivian."
I balk at that.
That would too convenient. Vivian was the girl I went steady with in high school, and if I ever saw her, we might still be friends. She was in college now. Somewhere in Texas—I forgot the university's name—but here I was still in Tulsa, no college to speak of. Our paths certainly diverged after high school.
"Think Two-Bit's actually gonna say something valuable to Pony?" Soda asks, changing the subject again. Glory, he's notorious for changing the subject multiple times in the same conversation, but I welcome this one. I'd rather not talk about all the girls I dated.
"I dunno," I tell him. "Guess we'll have to wait and see."
xxxx
"Well, my work here is done," Two-Bit declares when he reemerges with Pony. "You brother's gonna take no more than three aspirin at a time for the rest of his life now, right, Pony?"
I lift an eyebrow. One or two would've been a better number to push, Two-Bit... Apparently somebody pops three aspirin when he's hungover.
He elbows Pony who elbows him back and smirks. "Yeah, Sorry, Darry."
Two-Bit looks so smug, I can't resist the urge to say something smart. "Well, that was mighty impressive, Two-Bit. How on earth did you do it?"
"Oh, I only beat the tar outa him of course." He ruffles Pony's hair.
"It was horrible," Pony plays along. "Just horrible."
"Sounded more like you was laughing," Soda says, nudging Pony's arm.
"Well, I'm outa here," Two-Bit announces. "Gonna go see if little miss Kathy's waiting for me at the Dingo like she said she would."
He winks at us and heads toward the door. "Oh, and don't you worry, Darry. I'll find you that date."
"Yeah, about that," I call after him. "Don't even bother. I'll find my own, thanks."
"Oh, you kill me every time, Darry... I'll get ya a date."
The look on his face tells there's no way I'll change his mind, and I sigh.
When Two-Bit's officially gone, Pony looks at me with a big grin.
"What?" I ask him, even though I'm pretty damn sure he's gonna tease me too.
"Two-Bit's gonna get you a date?" he asks.
My eyes nearly rock into the back of my brain, I'm so sick of hearing this.
I say nothing, so Soda answers for me. "Oh yeah, it's gonna be great."
I give them both dirty looks. Everyone is too amused for their own damn good, and of course they tease me about it until I make them go to bed.