Sorry for the long wait on a update. Lifes been pretty hectic been sick and every time i'd sit down and write I'd have to get right back up to go do some bull lol

Btw look up alex goot "Real You" and play it when Connor starts to play for Jude

About 2 months later

Jude's Pov

I felt like a double agent, some kind of secret spy living two separate lives walking down these nearly empty halls. I was on my way to go meet up with Connor after his practice with the glee club.

Life was perfect for what I could see.

How could life not be perfect? After a week of dreadful training and practices we finally had the five day long tryouts to determine who was going to be starting for the beginning of the season. After busting my ass and showing the coaches everything I had I was finally rewarded.

I made varsity as starting shortstop!

` I was the youngest starting player in Anchor Beach history as a sophomore. This was a awe inspiring honor and privilege. But I wasn't the only one living in the spotlight at Anchor Beach.

Connor was now the superstar of the football team.

Connor in his first couple of weeks back as Anchor Beach was known for a good couple of things. Connor was known as the kid who got shot and lived. A title given to him by students who had known him way back when, up until he left after the shooting. This wasn't something he had appreciated being a topic for discussion but regardless was something he couldn't control and was something that spit started his popularity with the masses.

In Connors first couple of weeks regardless of his current reputation didn't pay attention to it all that much. He soon became the school's youngest starting running back for the football team. It was crazy he was the talk of the school for weeks.

Connor the boy that lived (awful Harry Potter reference by the way!) and then star football player within weeks. All the girls wanted to date him (Daria as well even after the fact that he humiliated her) and most of the guys wanted to be him.

This didn't mean anything to Connor though. He was just doing what he's always been good at, he was just being himself. Connor has always been a natural athlete and good at what ever he put his mind to. Things like popularity and slight fame meant nothing to him, which was a trait I found admirable since all I have been trying to do as of late was boost myself in the popularity scale.

Connor wasn't only a star player in his first couple of weeks either. He took up momma Lena's advice on joining Anchor Beach's new glee club. I think they call themselves The Anchors. Either way he instantly became the star of the group.

Connor and I weren't the only ones hit with a splash of teen stardom by our own high school. I mean we live in California being the most popular in high school was almost like being famous right?

Taylor's dance team was the most wanted in female group at school.

Taylor was announced head queen of her dance team. Which basically meant she was in charge of keeping order and had the final say on who got on the team and what not. It was funny to think that Mariana had started this team because a rival dance team on campus had to many rules and was way to stuck up, but over time this team had been the same exact way. Granted Taylor was in charge now and she wasn't a ruthless bitch.

I sat in on tryouts with Taylor since I hadn't had practice that evening.

I just have to say there were way to many girls at the school trying out for this club and Taylors peers on the team were ruthless in saying how they felt about the other girls.

Regardless of the situations in all of our lives I couldn't help but think that everything was perfect, that nothing could go wrong.

Publicly Taylor and I were the It couple in our grade. We were looking at being crowned Prince and Princess in the next formal dance that was vastly approaching. Senior couples were always crowned King and Queen but lower grades had the chance to have their titles as well. It was pretty cool but at the same time I didn't care all that much. there was a part of me that knew I would rather dance that final song with Connor not Taylor.

While being with Taylor publicly I was seeing Connor every chance I could get behind the scenes.

I could easily feel the tension growing in both relationships.

Taylor could tell that I was hiding something from her I knew it, but she never pried and acted as if everything was normal. She was acting differently as well though. I could see it in her eyes, Taylor was keeping something from me as well. We were both titled to our own secrets and I wasn't about to play the part of jealous boyfriend.

Connor on the other hand I could see was struggling. He showed and told me exactly how he felt every chance he got. He wanted me so bad that it was earth shattering and I knew it, but a part of me would never let myself completely reciprocate the way he wanted me to. I had everything I could ask for at the moment. My position on the team, My popularity with Taylor by my side to back it, and my secret relationship with Connor. Life was perfect so why do anything to mess it all up?

"What are you still doing here Jude?," Momma Lena broke me from my train of thought as I made my way down the hall.

"I'm waiting for Connor to get done with his glee thing so we can hangout after school," I shot her a reassuring smile not skipping a beat.

"Okay, will Connor be joining us for dinner?,"

"No, I don't think so we might end up eating at his Aunts," I replied with a simple response I had no clue what our plans for the evening were. I just knew that I wanted Connors lips on mine as soon as possible.

"Okay sweetie, well either let me or Mom know what your plans are for the evening. I have a couple of things to do before heading home so I will be here for a little while,"

"Okay Momma, I'll let you know what the plan as soon as I know. Love you," I started making my way towards the choir room before she could say another word. If my timing was right Connors glee group should be getting done just about now and I was about to have him for myself.

I stood by the door of the choir room peering in occasionally to see who was finishing up their performances in front of the group. As soon as the student was done I think his name was Jacob or Nicholas I couldn't be certain they all started to break apart and exit the room.

I nodded and smiled to my passing peers as they exited the room passing me on their way homes. As soon as I knew the ghost was clear and Connor was in the Choir room alone I made my entrance.

Connor was standing next to the piano looking down at his phone.

Connor looked gorgeous per usual he wore a striped v neck that rested comfortably tight against his rippling muscles. Had he gotten buffer since school started? I almost couldn't control myself as I walked up to him. I had to have him and I had to have him now.

"Hey babe," I spoke softly as the distance between us quickly disappeared and he pulled his attention from his phone up to meet my gaze.

"Hey," Connor's words were stiff and impartial but I payed no mind.

I closed the distance between us the instant I knew that no one could possibly be near us to see us. Connor dodged my first kiss so that it landed on his cheek. Dodged my second and third attempts as well.

"Jude, stop I can't do this," Connor looked away with discomfort in his voice.

Was perfect about to end?

Connor's Pov

As soon as Rick finished his rendition of Who I Am by Nick Jonas everybody started quickly making their way out of the Choir Room. I waited standing next to the piano knowing that Jude would soon be making his way in as soon as he knew nobody would be present besides myself. I stood there with phone in hand trying to fuel my resolve.

"Hey babe," Judes words hung in the air, I guess this meant the ghost was clear.

"Hey," I responded just to let him know his presence was known, and to hopefully let him know I wasn't in any kind of good mood.

Jude obviously didn't pick up what I was putting down. He quickly shortened the distance between us following his usual greeting when meeting up out of the open. It took every fiber of my being to dodge his initial assault so that his lips would smash awkwardly against my left cheek. the feeling of his touch always left an imprint against my skin especially when it came from his lips. I could feel his touch linger on me for hours even after he was gone. I dodged the next two attempts that followed.

"Jude, stop I can't do this," I could see the confusion as I stepped away from his embrace.

"What's wrong Connor," Judes face flooded with confusion and concern as he stared at me. His chocolate brown eyes were intense and longing. If I wasn't careful I would get caught up in those eyes.

"We need to talk, but I don't know exactly what I want to or what I'm trying to say,"

"Okay," I knew what he was thinking, We need to talk were the four most terrifying words in a relationship. I only hoped that he would take this as serious as it should be and not try to bypass what I say with his body like he usually does. Anytime I tried to talk about what we were he would end the conversation as swiftly as it would start.

"Jude, you know I'm not good with words like you are, just listen to what i'm trying to say through this song. Okay?," He just nodded at me now more intrigued than confused at this point. I moved to sit in front of the piano.

"I didn't know you knew how to play the piano," Jude had a grin that swept across his face forgetting that he was obviously in trouble.

"You never asked, I knew you always loved to hear Brandon play when we were kids so besides the guitar this was the one instrument I desired to learn the most," I spoke softly trying to hide my smile from his instant reaction. Quickly composing myself I began to play.

I wish the music would carry me away

'cause I don't wanna be stuck down here

And I wonder what I did this time

Could I be so cavalier?

You know the lyrics and I know the melody

So sing along, we'll write a song about you

Don't have to wonder if you feel the same

'cause I know that you do

I never let my gaze leave Judes, I sang to him with every ounce of strength I had, I poured every last emotion into this.

'Cause I need this now
You need this too

Why should we wait on anything at all
The way the light swims across your face
How could I dream of anything, but the real you
Yeah the real you oh

Could it be that we met at the wrong time
How am I supposed to live with that
Always feeling like around the corner
He's gonna come back Yeah

'Cause I need you
Don't you feel it too

Why should we wait on anything at all
The way the light swims across your face
How could I dream of anything, but the real you
Yeah the real you oh

Know it's taking my pride yeah
And now I'm frantic inside yeah
And what if we met at the wrong time
What if we met at the wrong time yeah

You know it's taking my pride
And now I'm frantic inside
I know that I can't get over it
And what if we met at the wrong time yeah

You know it's taking my pride
And now I'm frantic inside
I know that I can't get over you
I know that my dreams will never do
'Cause I just need the real you

The real you yeah
The real you ohh
The real you
The real you yeah
('Cause I just need the real you)
The real you ohh
The real you
('Cause I just need the real you)
The real you
The real you

I let the music fade into silence through my fingertips.

"Connor," Jude released a deep sigh as he stood there refusing to meet my eyes trying to grasp for exactly what to say.

So I decided to speak for him holding on to my own resolve "Jude, I can't do this anymore. I love you but I can't sneak around anymore. I'm done sneaking around in the shadows with you while you're with Taylor in the light,"

I could see the anger creep across his brow. This wasn't going to go exactly how I had planned it to.

"Thats not fair Connor you told me you would wait till I was ready," His voice began to raise as I moved to stand in front of him. My resolve barely hanging on as I stood in front of him. How could he be so appealing to the eye even when i'm angry at him?

"Jude, It's been almost two months we've been doing this," I paused holding my breath trying to calm my emotions. I didn't want to fight with Jude I just wanted him to hear me out and take in how I felt.

"Connor I know, but everything is going so good right now, so good for the both of us why complicate things," His voice changed in an instant, from anger to sincerity. His words were soothing dancing in the air around me as I began to fall into his excuses and pleads.

My resolve was slowly slipping away.

His voice was so compelling it felt as if I was being put under a spell.

Rage began to burn inside of me. I was not falling for this again! Every time I try to talk to him about how I feel, or about going public with our relationship it's like he puts me into a trance and I can't help but comply to his every wish.

"No Jude, I'm done with the excuses. I don't know if you're trying to punish me for what happened between us two years ago. For me dating daria and trying to be with you at the same time. But I'm done playing these games with you,"

"Connor, I'm not punishing you for what happened between us. I can't come out right now I have to much to lose, and what did you mean in the song all you need is the real me? I'm standing right in front of you Connor,"

"Way to try and change the subject, but while we're on the topic Jude. The person standing in front of me isn't the Jude I fell in love with."

"Well then who exactly am I?," Jude instantly became cold and serious. Anger wiped from his eyes, replaced only by curiosity and a slight case of amusement.

"You told me that after I left you held on to a part of me. That you incorporated a part of my into your life,"

"So what does that have to do with anything? I took up baseball so what I ended up being pretty good at it,"

"Thats not it Jude, I think you took in more than you thought. That you changed a part of yourself to fit who you thought I was," We stood in silence as I finished my explanation. Even though I knew it sounded crazy especially saying it aloud but I came to this conclusion a while ago and I knew I was right.

"I don't know what you're talking about but you sound crazy you know that," Jude easily just brushed off everything I just said with a laugh.

"I'm serious Jude, I am not just trying to make a joke here," I was nearly pleading for him to listen, truly listen at this point.

"Its kind of narcissistic don't you think? I know I did take up a couple of your interest and hobbies but to think I completely molded my life after you is ridiculous,"

"Narcissistic or not I know I'm right and I'm done Jude. You need to figure out what you want. Me or Taylor," I was done I said what I needed to say.

I started to make my way past Jude to exit the room determined to not look back when he grabbed my wrist.

"Connor, wait can't we talk about this?,"

Jude's eyes were pleading. I knew I caught him off guard and I knew that I was being slightly unreasonable dropping all of this on him. But at the same time I knew this is what had to be done. For him and for me. I couldn't handle watching him with Taylor in public even though she was a friend. I was jealous of her but I also felt awful knowing that the moment she found out it would break her heart.

"Jude you have been stuck in the shadow of who I was, while I've been blinded by who you were," I ripped myself free from his grip while rapidly turning to leave. I couldn't face him after what I had just said. I couldn't bear to see the potential hurt in his eyes while refusing to let him see mine.

Been suffering from the worst case of writer's block this chapter could have been better but was as far as I could take it this past week. But be sure this next chapter will clear up everything thats going on with Jude.

I'm going to try and post a chapter at least once a week.

I've been trying to read a lot more first person style novels and grasp how to describe other people and events better knowing this is the way i'm most likely going to write my first actual book.

let me know how it was remember reviews keep me motivated and inspired.