Chapter Ten: The Arrival of SAXTON HAAAAAALE
The following morning was the busiest of the week.
Subordinates and assistants of Saxton Hale bustled around the hotel, taking orders and preparing for their boss' arrival. The heavily-muscled Australian mogul would be arriving to lure a supposed assassin into the trap set up by the Administrator and was to host the Fifth Annual Saxxy Awards that would be taking place on Saturday night of that week. Needless to say, more work than ever before was being invested into the Pyro's mannerisms. Both were putting finishing touches on their undercover personalities in the Spy's room.
"No matter how you act in front of Saxton Hale, you must act like a lady whenever you are in the public. You will never know what filthy paparazzi will want to get dirt on you. If they do, our cover will be compromised and the assassin will make his move."
"Basically like wearing my mask back at the base."
"Exactly! Be vigilant, keep on the lookout for anything suspicious, and keep your façade up at all times."
"Got it."
And so it began, morning through afternoon, preparing for the arrival of Sir Saxton Hale.
"From now on, do not break your character, especially not in public. Do just as I've told you."
"Yeah, yeah—uh, yes, sir. You know, you should get into the character of Fabio, as well, shouldn't you?" she smirked.
"Ugh, honey, I've got it! I'm a spah remember? Don't getcher panties in a bunch!"
Pyro smiled, stood up straight, and successfully resisted the urge to laugh, which did not go unnoticed by the Spy.
"Keeping your composure, I see. Exemplary."
"All thanks to my lovely assistant!"
"THANKS, GIRLFRIEND. But I totally couldn't have done it without your cooperation!"
"True," she replied, laughing airily and mockingly tapping her chin in thought. "I decided to be more cooperative for the sake of the mission. I can't afford to fail the Administrator because, well, I'd probably be killed."
"No, that would be far too easy for her. She would probably torture you, toy with you, do something horrid to you that would mentally scar you for life."
"Come to think of it, that sounds more like her."
"Of course. Now—"
The door suddenly flung open as Mr. Reddy interrupted the Spy with his stumbling entrance, ragged breathing, and hunched-over posture. He'd literally been running around the entire morning, making sure everything would be perfect for the advent of his superior.
"How—are you all—fairing?" he gasped, "Do you require—any—assistance?" he gasped. Pyro gave him a look.
"Even if we did need help, you'd be the last person we'd ask right now. Look at you, incredibly busy right now and you expect yourself to be of any help. Go take a breather and take care of what needs to be taken care of," she said, shooing him towards the door.
Mr. Reddy had no qualms with scuttling off and continuing his mad rush to accomplish the seemingly impossible in an unfairly short time frame.
"He is the one who needs help," Spy scoffed as he exhaled his cigarette smoke.
"Got that right," she snorted.
He gave her a look.
"You're absolutely correct," she huffed, rolling her eyes.
"There we are."
Hours went by as the duo continued the finishing touches on their guise. As dusk approached, however, they heard a knock on the door. Pyro, after a glance through the peephole, opened the door to reveal a much more composed Mr. Reddy.
"Oh? What brings you here now?"
"We'd like to extend an invitation to the two of you to a celebratory dinner to congratulate everyone on the success of preparing for the big event."
The two nodded, took a grand total of two minutes to prepare, and left with Mr. Reddy to one of the restaurants downstairs.
"I feel so high-maintenance," Pyro remarked on as the elevator made its way down to the lobby.
"What do you mean?" asked Mr. Reddy.
"You know what I used to do to get ready? Shower and brush my teeth. God, being a woman is such hard work," she remarked as they stepped out of the elevator.
"And that is why you chose to be a mercenary? To avoid the frivolities of womanhood?"
"No, not necessarily. I didn't do this to avoid anything, or spite anyone, or rebel. I just don't make a very feminine woman. It'd be a lot easier for me if I was one, but alas. You already know I'd prefer bashing someone's skull in over applying makeup."
"I know all too well," Spy replied.
The trio walked towards the restaurant, and upon entrance, found a portion of Hale's staff sitting at a long table. They took their seats and Pyro made sure she got to sit on the end, next to the Spy. A sommelier soon visited the table and asked if they wanted apéritifs or wine.
"Hm. I'm not too acquainted with wines; could you give me a recommendation?" Pyro asked as she skimmed the menu.
"It depends, miss. What sort of flavors are you looking for?"
The Pyro wasn't much of a wine-drinker. Unsure of what to do exactly, she chose to play it safe.
"What's a nice, sweet champagne?" she decided after several seconds of staring at the menu.
"May I suggest a vintage 1955 Dom Pérignon?"
"Sure, I'll take that," she said, wondering if she would like it at all.
"And for you, sir?" he asked, turning to Spy.
"A white-grape wine, something dry and light. What do you recommend?"
"We have an Amontillado sherry that's just begging to be uncorked, sir."
"Lovely. That will do."
The drinks soon arrived and Spy, upon reciept, gently swirled his glass for a couple of seconds before taking a sip. Reluctantly, Pyro took a sip of her drink and found that it wasn't so bad after all. While she nursed her drink, however, Spy had downed his full glass in a couple of minutes.
Now, unfortunately for Spy, he was what one would consider a "lightweight". He had a very low tolerance for alcohol and thus took measures to prevent intoxication. He was relatively well-versed in fine wine and avoided drinking too much. Unluckily for him, the unfamiliar sherry he'd been recommended had a larger percentage of alcohol than normal wine by a wide margin. While not significantly inebriated, he realized too late that it had only taken one glass to put him in an uninhibited state of mind.
Meanwhile, the waiter had arrived to take orders for the main course.
"May I take your order?" asked the waiter, as he made his way to the woman on the end of the table. Feeling bold, Pyro decided to order something out of her comfort zone.
"I might as well try something new tonight. I'll have the squid-ink truffle risotto," she said, pointing to the item on said menu.
'Excellent choice, madam. And for you, sir?" he turned to the man next to her.
Spy chuckled and pointed to the one item Pyro had hoped he'd never order.
"I weel 'ave…I weel 'ave ze escargoh," he declared, his accent much thicker than usual.
Pyro quickly slapped her hand over her mouth and turned to face her partner. For some reason, she found his request humorous.
'Eez zer a problème, ma chérie?' he asked, turning to her and shrugging. "What eez wrong with ze snails?"
Her chortles ceased as she grabbed Spy by the arm, smiled sweetly to the rest of their company, and politely excused them from the table. Once outside the restaurant, she grabbed him by the shoulders.
"Are you out of your mind? Are you drunk?" she hissed.
"I am not drunk," he whispered, "I am just feeling very brave. Buuuuuuut it seems as though you are jealous," he slurred, satisfied with his inane conclusion.
"God, I didn't know you were such a lightweight," she groaned, holding her head in her hands. Noticing his silence, she looked up at him. The way he looked at her made her heart skip a beat.
"What the hell is it? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something stuck in my teeth, or—"
"Vous l'air si tres belle ce soir, ma chèrie," he breathed huskily. You look so very beautiful tonight, dear. Pyro only needed a few key words.
"Th-thats the wine speaking," she mumbled. That sack of trouble couldn't even handle his liquor properly.
"I am being serious!" he said defensively, "Je pourrais vous embrasser dès maintenant!"
"What are you saying? Speak English!"
"But I am!"
"You are not! You're babbling in French!"
"Ne sois pas bête! Je parle anglais!"
"There you go again! My God, you can't even—"
The Spy would never know what it was that he "couldn't even" do, as in that moment, he cupped his partner's pale face in his hands and kissed her. His lips captured hers in a soft, sudden, and lingering exchange. Spy moved back a bit to gauge her reaction and saw one of utter surprise.
"Oh…oh, oh my God, we…we just," she began, brushing her fingers against her lips. "We…we can't do that again. How—"
"But as you always say, seize the day!"
After coming out of her brief state of shock, Pyro looked up at him.
"You…you took my lipginity!" she whispered harshly.
"Excusez-moi?"
"That was my very first kiss!"
"Oh my, that was your first kiss?" He chuckled. "Well, then—tell me about your second one!"
"I—"
The handsome rogue struck once again, kissing the unruly ball of fire this time with passionate ardor. He embraced her tightly and he noticed that the Pyro did not pull back. In fact, she had wholeheartedly returned the favor, squeezing him and engaging in the kiss as well. After a full 30 seconds, she finally broke the kiss and opened her eyes, gasping for air and very dazedly regaining her composure.
"I-I, uh, yeah. Okay, yeah, there you go, there you have it," she muttered in a flustered, dazzled manner. "My second kiss. And don't you dare go for a third, young man, I know you have to be absolutely wasted right now a-and what we're doing is absolutely reprehe—reprehensible, and—"
"My sweet, I am not wasted as you so call it. Like I said, I simply drank a bit too much courage juice and am feeling quite courageous on this lovely evening with an absolutely lovely woman!"
"Are you ever," she sighed, shaking her now-light head. "Now march yourself back in there, eat your little French snails, and no more wine for you!"
"But—"
"NO BUTS!"
"Have it your way, chèrie."
The two strolled back into the restaurant to see their food had already arrived.
"It's gotten a bit cold," Mr. Reddy remarked with a twinge of regret.
"I couldn't care less. I'm famished." Pyro sat down, remembered her table etiquette, and began her entree in the most ladylike manner she could muster. As for Spy, who had sobered up just a tad, he ate his snails in silence and suddenly demanded wine with them.
"Give him grape juice, please," she whispered to the waiter.
"Understood, madam," he said as he nodded in empathy and fetched the Spy his faux-wine.
When handed his juice, Pyro leaned in a bit to see if her partner would recognize that the wine was, like him, a spy. After a sip, though, he declared it was, "A bit too sweet, but not altogether unpleasant. Not the worst I've ever tasted." He shrugged and sipped some more.
She sighed in relief and continued her meal in peace knowing that her lightweight partner was on a track to no longer being inebriated. Despite the fact that it was arguably one of the most thrilling and enjoyable experiences of her life, what had happened earlier could compromise the mission. They would at least have to try to hold off on their actions.
By the time coffee and a bit of dessert was in order, it was quite late. Between the food and time elapsed, the Spy had sobered considerably at that point. Hearing a groan from the man next to her, Pyro turned to see a hand covering his face.
"Well, hello there. How are you feeling now, Demo?" she joked, at her other teammate's expense.
"I've made an utter fool of myself, haven't I?" he said. She smiled gently and turned to him.
"If I could've chosen anyone to take my lipginity, it would've been you, anyway. I regret nothing," she snickered.
Spy smirked a bit at that word.Lipginity. It was so weird, unheard of, silly. Just like her.
"That kiss could not have been anything less than horrid, I'm sure."
She gave him a satisfied smile. "Trust me, it was the furthest thing from horrid."
"Then you should see me when I am not drunk," he whispered throatily.
"Oh?" She gave him a sly grin. "We shall see later, then. You're on."
The coffee had arrived along with small petit fors for dessert. Pyro ate hers and nursed her coffee. It wasn't particularly good, but her newfound table manners taught her to suck it up and drink it anyway. Hopefully it would help her teammate out some.
When the clock struck 10:45, Mr. Reddy asked for the bill to be put on the tab, and the entire party rose and filed out of the restaurant. They took the elevator and stepped outside onto the roof to see a large helipad set up. Luckily, the wind was not very strong on that warm, dry August night.
"Are you ready?" Spy asked his partner, giving her a sideways glance.
"More than ever. Are you, Fabio?" she teased.
"Totes. I've got it aaaaalllll under control!"
Several minutes went by as the sudden noise of helicopter blades cutting through the air echoed in the night. Dust was kicked up into the sky as a burly Australian hung from the helicopter's skids, holding something large and furry in his arms. He let go and landed onto the ground with a graceful thud. After he looked around a bit, he spotted the woman that was to be his and promptly approached her.
"EVENING, SHEILA," he said, looking her up and down. "NO MOUSTACHE THAT I CAN SEE. AH, NO PROBLEM, YER NOT AN AUSSIE. IT'S TO BE EXPECTED. WELL, I'VE BROUGHTCHA A LI'L GIFT HERE, YOU SEE." He revealed the furry mass to be a fresh, gory, brutally mauled grizzly bear and giddily extended the item out to out to the woman.
Despite the others' majorly grossed-out reactions, she smiled brightly at the grotesque animal corpse. The Pyro was actually indeed quite a fan of Saxton Hale's comic book series—she kept a few on hand back at the base for when she was overtaken by boredom. Needless to say, she was a bit star-struck.
"This…" she said in genuine amazement. "Wow. This is awesome. And you know what's even more awesome?
"WOT?"
"Your chest hair! It's even better in person!"
"YOUR CHEST HAIR!" Those words reverberated loudly throughout his mind, music to his ears. Slowly, a smile grew on Saxton Hale's face that could light ten thousand cities.
"AHH, I KNEW I'D LIKE YE!" he bellowed, extending his oversized, robustly muscled arm out to the Pyro. "HOW 'BOUT WE SHOW THAT FRUITY KILLA NOT TO MESS AROUND WITH SAXTON HAAAALE!"
Pyro looked up at her undercover companion, took his arm with both of hers, and beamed.
"YES, LET'S!"