AN: Thank you so very much to AllTheRage1983 for being a fantastic Beta. I also want to thank all of you who take the time to review and keep me motivated to continue writing this story.
I have been getting several PM's asking me about who Bella is going to end up with. This is an Edward and Bella story, with a slightly different twist to it.
Oxbow Regional Park- Oregon
-November 15th-
Bella
"Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious." -Rumi
"On belay." I placed my left hand flat against the granite wall.
"Belay on," Mav answered back.
I craned my head back slightly, analyzing the best course to take up the sheer face of the cliff. After making my choice, I turned my head slightly to give Mav a slight nod.
"Climbing," I said.
"Climb on," he responded.
I dipped my fingers into my chalk bag before lifting my right leg slightly, carefully placing my toe onto a small niche in the rock. I used my weight to test its reliability before continuing on.
I climbed my way up slowly, but precisely; every step carefully planned out before I moved a single muscle. Rock climbing was no joke, especially when you were fifty feet in the air, in the middle of the wilderness. I paused halfway up the cliff, unable to find any natural holds that were not going to require a fairly large amount of flexibility.
This must have been the crux that Mav had mentioned.
My arm muscles burned from the amount of infrequent exercise I had subjected them to. I needed to work on building my upper body strength.
"Take," I called down to Mav.
"Got," he called up.
I allowed my muscles to relax slightly, still maintaining my grip on all of my holds. My eyes scanned further up, calculating the distance and positioning I would need to advance further.
"Knee drop," Mav called up to me. "You're too short to make it without going lateral first," he explained further.
I took his advice, dropping my knee at an angle, moving my body snuggly against the wall. I slowly made my way several feet to the left. There was a small crack further over that allowed me to toe hook my way further up.
"Perfect!" Mav called out.
Once I finally hoisted myself over the top of the cliff, I took a moment to catch my breath. I rested my hands on both knees, slowly breathing in and out. The scenery was incredible from the top. Trees as far as the eyes could see, spread out before me. The sky was a perfect watercolor of blues and whites, blending together in the most gorgeous image of the Pacific Northwest I had ever witnessed.
'I'm standing in a postcard,' I thought to myself.
I peered over the cliff to where Mav was patiently waiting.
"It's beautiful!" I called down. A cheesy smile on my face. I was exhilarated.
"Told you!" he called up.
Vlog #503
"I'm literally speechless viewers." I stared into the camera. "I'm going to let the camera do all of the work for me." I turned my GoPro towards the edge of the cliff, giving the viewers a first person perspective, a chance to experience this marvelous view for themselves.
"You see that?" I spoke softly. "That's what it's all about right there. Does life get any better than this?" I turned the camera back to face me.
"I'll see you guys at the bottom." I waved goodbye.
After safely placing both of my feet on solid ground, I threw my arms around Mav's neck, surprising him slightly.
"That was…" I trailed off, unable to explain fully.
He chuckled lightly. "You've been practicing."
"We did a lot of climbing in Hidalgo," I explained.
"I'm kind of jealous." He reached down to my harness, loosening one of my carabiners.
"Of what?" I laughed.
"Whatever it is that makes you smile like that." He shrugged.
"I could say the same, you know." I pulled my harness fully off.
"About what?" He began rolling up our ropes.
"The way you look whenever you've mastered some uncharted territory," I explained.
"I guess we are both in love with the thrill of adventure, huh?" he acknowledged.
"Exactly. Who needs sex when you can climb a mountain instead?" I pondered.
His hands paused their movement.
"Okay, I'm not that in love with adventure." He looked at me in surprise.
I burst out laughing. "Oh! The look on your face," I snickered.
"You had me worried." He shook his head.
"Were you questioning your skills?" I asked in disbelief. Mav was always so confident in everything he did. I had never seen him be anything less than self-assured.
"Kinda." He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I mean, if that's how you feel about sex, I've clearly been doing something wrong," he laughed.
I stepped closer to him, hooking my index fingers into his belt loops. I used my tiptoes to make myself taller.
"Oh, don't worry," I whispered. "I'm completely satisfied in that department." I placed a soft kiss on his lips.
"Yeah?" He gripped my thighs roughly. I unhooked my fingers and wrapped them around his neck.
"You don't want anything more?" he questioned
"Like a relationship?" I stepped back slightly, I had been dreading this particular conversation.
"Yeah, or… I don't know," he sighed. "It's weird to bring up but…" he trailed off.
"What?" I pushed.
"Why do I always get the feeling you're never really anchored in the moment?" He looked into my eyes.
"What do you mean?" I stepped back slightly, examining his face for answers.
He sighed deeply. "It can be a bit intimidating, knowing that I would have to compete with all of this…" he motioned towards the cliff first and then the forest surrounding us. "...to keep your attention, Bella."
"You don't have to." I shook my head.
He smiled and grunted. "I wouldn't even try to. It would be a tragedy to keep you grounded to anything other than what you truly love. I can relate to that," he explained.
"I'm sorry," I tried to apologize.
"What for? We both got into this with the same understanding. I don't hold anything against you for following your heart." He hugged me to him."I think you are the bravest person I have ever known." He kissed the side of my head.
"Thank you." I smiled into his chest.
"For what?" He looked down at me.
"Just… for being a good friend and understanding how I function," I said.
"I think me and you are very similar. It's not hard for me to understand you, because I'm also ruled by the same ailment."
"Which is?" I questioned.
"Wanderlust," he stated simply. "Searching for something entirely out of yourself or anyone else, something you don't fully recognize until your there in the moment and it's staring you in the face. People like us can't live with a nine to five job and a picket fence. It would crush our soul." he explained.
"Wow. I couldn't explain it better," I whispered. He had a fairly accurate understanding of my need to remain on the move, even if he had some of the motivation behind it wrong.
He smiled down at me. After several moments of silence he stepped back.
"Alright, I'm starving." He reached down to retrieve our climbing gear. "Let's head back to camp."
Later that evening I was seated around the fire, chatting with Rian and Shanah.
"Mark and I are going back South," Shanah told us. "My ass needs to be planted on a beach somewhere." She took a sip of her cocoa.
"It's tempting." I adjusted Mav's beenie on my head.
"I wouldn't mind being a beach bum for the rest of my life," Rian agreed.
"I was thinking Thailand next." I wrapped my throw blanket around me tighter.
"Thailand! I'm there girl, just say the word." Rian perked up.
"I thought you were going to climb Everest or something?" Shanah snorted.
"Right. I meant after Rainier." I laughed.
"I always knew you were a little crazy, I just never expected you to pull a Christopher McCandless," Shanah teased.
"Please, I could never be that cool," I scoffed.
"Bella, you are that cool." She rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. I'm freezing my ass off now, I really have no idea how I am going to do this." I whined.
"Mav can keep you warm." Shanah wagged her brows suggestively.
"Damn straight!" Mav whooped from a few spots over.
"Stop eavesdropping on our girly time!" Rian threw a small stick towards his head. She missed by a long shot, the stick ended up pegging Mark in the shoulder instead.
"Watch it woman! I need all of my appendages." Mark chuckled.
"Speaking of appendages, I can't feel my toes." Shanah wiggled her feet in circles.
"Isn't there supposed to be a hot spring somewhere around here?" I turned to Mav.
"About two miles south." He nodded.
"What the hell are we doing here then?" I asked nobody in particular.
"I'm game if you are," he said.
"Definitely game," I said standing up from my spot.
It took us an hour to find the hot spring, but it was worth the trek once we were comfortably seated in the large pool of warm water.
"Hey, remember that time in Venezuela that we went to that mud bath?" Mark looked towards me and Rian.
"Yeah," I laughed at the memory. "Wasn't that where the bus ended up getting stuck and we had to wait for someone to come along with four-wheel-drive to pull us out?"
"That was it!" Mark smiled. "Then on the way out we ran into those snotty tourist girls who kept giving you nasty looks."
"...and Rian almost ended up in jail." I splashed water at Rian playfully.
"Ugh! Are we ever going to stop bringing that up?" Rian covered her face.
"Hell no!" I burst out laughing. "I still think about it whenever I am in need of a good laugh."
"Oh? Well how about your very first camping trip?" Rian burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.
"What?" Mark looked towards me.
"Hey! We agreed to never mention that again." I shot her a reproachful look.
"No, you demanded we never mention it. I made no such agreement." Rian smirked.
It was my turn to be embarrassed. "I can't even…" I trailed off.
"That's okay. I tell the story better anyway." Rian tried to control her laughter enough to talk evenly.
"Oh my god." I whispered, knowing she was going to recount my unfortunate mishap in all of its glory .
"So, Bella and I met at a bus station in Utah, we were both fairly new at the whole traveling thing. We hit it off and decided to stick together since we were both headed to South America anyway…" she began.
"I can't believe your doing this to me." I covered my face with both hands.
"Shut up. I'm telling a story here." Rian snickered."Anyway, about two weeks in, we decide we are going to ditch the bus station route and get out in the big wide world and explore, right?" she chuckled lightly. "So we are traveling for a while and we decide we are going to camp out in this state park. I'm from New York and have never camped a day in my life," she explains. "Bella here, who has been carrying this enormous pack full of camping gear over three state lines and is wearing a very deceiving plaid shirt, looks like she is an outdoor aficionado."
Having never heard Rian's unique perspective of this particular story before, I couldn't help myself. I began laughing hysterically. This caused Rian to join in, and before I knew it, we were clutching each other while the rest of the group laughed at our antics. Eventually, we both calmed enough for Rian to continue.
"So, I figure Bella's totally got this, right? We'll be just fine. I'm thinking I'm with the female version of Bear Grylls, off to explore the great outdoors." She snorts. "So we get to this state park, and they charge an entry fee at the gate. That should have been our first red flag, now that I think of it." She shoots me a look. "Whatever. We pay the entry fee and we walk down this very nice paved roadway until we find a camping spot right next to a creek. It has a very nice built in firepit, a picnic table and electricity hooks up for our very non-existent RV."
The entire group was laughing at this point, unable to contain themselves. Even though I knew I should be embarrassed, especially in the present company, I couldn't help but laugh with them.
"It's getting dark and we are both really hungry because we haven't eaten all day. So we get to work setting up the tent." She paused, wiping her eyes. "Bella has this four-person tent that has never been used before and we spend an hour trying to set it up. I kept saying that something didn't look right, but we had read and re-read the instructions and it seemed like we had followed every step perfectly. We get it all set up and we go to open the tent door and realize we can't unzip it." She shook her head. "We eventually figure out the reason we can't open the tent door is because the tent was inside out. This also explained why we struggled so badly to find the correct hooks to snap the poles into. We figured they must have them covered for some reason."
I completely lost my shit at that point, along with everyone else. It took several minutes for everyone to calm down enough for Rian to continue.
"So,we're like, 'well shit' and now we have to take it down and set it back up properly. At this point I turned to Bella and asked her how opposed she is to just sleeping on the ground. She's stubborn though, so we take the tent down and set it up properly. It's now pitch black outside and we both need to eat and use the bathroom. We had seen a public restroom on the way to our spot, so we decide to try to find it with only a tiny little flashlight."
I glanced over to see that Rian had everyone's undivided attention, regailing them with one of my most embarrassing moments.
"We mad it to the bathroom without any problems, but on our way back to our campsite we noticed that nobody had any fires lit. We thought that was a bit odd, but we continued about our merry way. We stopped at a campground not too far from our's to chat with a nice gentleman who then proceeded to inform us that we couldn't have a fire. Apparently, there were several forest fires going on in the surrounding areas and the forest service had banned all fires. This put a hitch in our dinner plans, as Bear Grylls here didn't think to pack a camp stove." Rian nodded her head towards me.
"We decided 'fuck it.' We'll just eat some power bars and call it a night." She chuckled. "Only problem was that when we finally make it back to our campsite, our tent had blown into the creek and was soaking wet. We went to bed starving, and we ended up sleeping on the ground in our sleeping bags while the tent air dried."
"To make matters worse, we were woken up really early in the morning by a park ranger who informed us that we needed to vacate our campground immediately because it had previously been reserved by somebody else." I burst out laughing.
"Later on, once we had gotten better acquainted, I realized that Bella had little to no experience 'roughing it' outdoors, and we decided to do some research before trying it again. We got better as time went on, but I will never forget that first trip into the wild." Rian snorted.
"Wow, Bella, I never would have guessed." Mav was shaking with laughter.
"Oh, you have no idea." I smiled ruefully.
Later that evening, as I was staring up at the ceiling of my tent, a smile broke out on my lips. I was so incredibly happy I had decided to come to Oregon and spend this time with these amazing people I called my friends. It was exactly what my soul needed. I felt renewed and ready to take on anything that may come my way. Even Alice Cullen. I had made it passed every other obstacle in my life, why should she be any different. I needed to toughen up and get past my Cullen issue. It was about time. I had a feeling that I would hear from Alice again, eventually. She always had an uncanny knack for getting her way. I briefly wondered if she had a vision of me deleting her message. I hoped she had. I hoped it pissed her off.
As usual, I was the first to wake up. I remained huddled in the warmth of my sleeping bag, not quite ready to greet the cold morning that was waiting for me outside. The campground was eerily silent now that almost everyone had moved on to other adventures.
I had been in Oregon for almost a week. Most of my time was spent catching up with old friends as well as planning for the upcoming summit trip in the Spring. While most of our group had moved on, Rian and a few others had stuck around. After several days of listening to us plan out the finer details for the summit trip, Rian and Mark both decided to try their hand at mountaineering as well. What had started off as a spontaneous adventure had now turned into an ever-increasing group endeavor.
Mav, who had spent a few months trekking his way through part of the Swiss Alps, was the most experienced out of all of us. Even he admitted he was far out of his comfort zone when it can to attempting to summit a volcano. That was what made it even more exciting though: doing something entirely new and pushing ourselves to grow in the process.
While we enjoyed a good challenge, we were not entirely crazy. We had no illusions about how taxing it was going to be, or how dangerous. We would each be doing our part to prepare appropriately. Jacob had already offered to be a guide, something he did part time for a tourist company out of Port Angeles. He had been to the summit on several occasions and was well versed in proper gear and the skill sets needed for such a trip. I had readily agreed to take him up on the offer.
Mav and a few of his closer friends, including Parker and Anna, a couple who I had met in Brazil, would make their way to Washington in the beginning of March.
The holidays were quickly approaching, and many people were headed home to spend time with their family. Rian was flying back to New York in the morning, but she promised to come back ready to tackle a mountain, literally.
Mav would also be flying back to Ireland for Christmas. I offered to keep him company in the meantime, but he was already moving on to warmer climates. He had been offered a hefty sum of money to attend a blogger convention in Las Vegas the following weekend. I turned down his offer to join him. Vegas wasn't exactly my cup of tea.
There was a crisp frost hanging in the air. I could taste it on the back of my throat, snow was on its way.
It was time to return to Forks.
"Keep in touch?" Mav asked me as I swung my pack over my shoulder.
"Of course." I gave him a hug.
"Keep me updated about the summit trip. Is that Jacob guy cool with all of us joining?" He gave me a strange look.
"Jake? Yeah, he's cool." I shrugged.
"Alright. Well, I'll see you in March." he smiled.
"March," I agreed, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
I opened the door to Charlie's house later than evening. I was starving and in desperate need of a shower.
"Bells?" Charlie called from his recliner.
"Yeah, Dad, it's me." I removed my heavy layers of clothing and Mav's pilfered beanie from my head before making my way into the living room.
"You look...rugged." Charlie commented on my appearance.
"I probably smell pretty rugged, too." I laughed. "What'd you do while I was gone?" I sat down on the sofa, removing my hiking boots and wool socks.
"Nothing much. Jake and Billy came to visit yesterday. Jake left you a note on the counter." he pointed towards the kitchen counter.
"Sounds fun." I leaned back against the couch, closing my eyes for a moment.
"Tired?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah. The good kind of tired though." I smiled.
"Have fun catching up with your friends?" He muted the television.
"Yeah, I did. I didn't even realize how much I missed Rian." I opened my eyes.
Charlie frowned. "The little blonde girl with all of the facial piercings and tattoos?" he asked.
"Yes." I gave him a challenging look.
"Hmph." he grumbled lowly. "That reminds me, another one of your weird friends stopped by the other day."
"My friends are not weird." I defended. "Who was it?" I asked. I wasn't expecting any visitors.
"Alice Cullen." He gave me a sideways glance. "Said she was in town visiting for the holidays. Also left you a note on the counter."
I wasn't nearly as surprised as I should have been. Alice always had a way of pulling this kind of crap. Her stubbornness knew no bounds. I was suddenly very thankful for her calling ahead of time and giving me a chance to mull things over in my head. I was feeling much more prepared to deal with a possible run-in than I was before my trip to Oregon.
"That's it?" I asked calmly.
"Yeah. She left in a hurry after I told her you weren't here. Strange girl." He gave me a pointed look.
I made no comment.
"Now that my secretarial duties are over, I'm going to go pick up a pizza for dinner." Charlie smirked. "You should probably take a shower. You look like a bush person." He got out of his recliner.
"Thanks, Dad," I quipped.
"You gonna be okay?" He gave me a questioning look.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I wrinkled my brow in confusion.
"I know you've moved on and all, but you took it pretty hard when that boy moved away." He fiddled with his keys, clearly uncomfortable with the subject matter.
"Edward?" I clarified.
"Yeah. That one," he nodded.
"That was a long time ago Dad," I reassured him.
"Alright." He nodded. "Be back in a little while."
"Get me a coke?" I called after him.
"Sure," he said before closing the door behind him.
A few moments later, I heard Charlie's tires cutting across the gravel driveway, signaling his departure.
I sprang from the couch, making my way hastily towards the kitchen.
There were two notes scribbled onto the message pad next to the phone, just as Charlie had indicated. One in Jake's sloppy scrawl, one in a familiar elegant cursive.
I read Jake's note first.
Call me. It's Important. Jake.
I wasn't expecting anything detailed or flowery from Jake, but I was a tad baffled by his need to write out a note when he could have just passed the message onto Charlie. It really wasn't his style.
I hesitated before picking up the other note. Was I ready to deal with the repercussions of reading her note? Curiosity eventually won out and I allowed my gaze to travel across the hand-written words.
Bella, I wanted to try this again. I know I do not deserve it, but please call me. I miss you. Alice Cullen.
She had written her number just below her impeccable signature.
That's it? I thought to myself.
I was surprised by the lack of emotion I felt this time. Maybe it was because I was not as surprised to hear from her as I was the last time. Maybe I just needed time to wrap my head around the idea of Alice contacting me after so many years. Alice could be just another person that I may eventually come into contact with. She could be an old acquaintance, like Mike Newton, who I would smile politely at while making small talk about menial things. I could handle Alice Cullen if push came to shove. It was a satisfying revelation.
I tossed the message pad back on the counter and picked up the phone to call Jacob.
"Hello?" Billy answered the phone.
"Hey, Billy. It's Bella. Is Jake there?" I asked.
"Hey, Bella. Jake is out patrolling. I'll have him call you when he gets back," he said.
"Patrolling for what?" My brow furrowed.
"We weren't sure if you already knew, if that's why you left," Billy paused."...but a couple of the Cullen's have returned," Billy explained.
There was a slight moment of panic when I briefly considered the idea of Edward returning. Alice I could deal with. Edward, on the other hand, I would need a much longer trip with copious amounts of alcohol to deal with. Then my common sense came rearing back. Of course Alice wasn't alone. Jasper would have come with her, they were mates after all. They very rarely left each other's sides.
"Just the two?" I asked.
"As far as we know, yeah," he said.
"I doubt they will be any trouble Billy." I tried to assure him.
"Better safe than sorry, Bella," he said.
"Sure." I answered, my mind wandered to the reservation. I was imaging a pack of gigantic werewolves circling the La Push border, trying to protect themselves from a non existent threat.
"Jake can't protect you or Charlie in Forks Bella; that's Cullen territory," Billy warned.
"We'll be fine Billy, the Cullens are harmless and I highly doubt they plan to stay for long." I tried to placate him.
"Just be careful Bella," Billy sighed.
"You too, Billy. Tell Jake I called."
"Sure thing. Take care, Bella."
"I will." I hung up the phone.
If Alice wanted to talk to me, she knew where to find me. I wasn't going to play into her hand. With my mind made up, I went upstairs to take a much needed shower.
After showering and changing into a comfortable pair of leggings and a tank top, I made my way to the kitchen. Charlie had already returned with the pizza and my much anticipated coke.
"Sue invited us out for dinner tomorrow, if your interested." Charlie looked everywhere but at me.
"Really?" I smiled.
"Yeah, um, it's nothing fancy or anything… just a get-together. There will be kids around your age there, as well," he mumbled.
"Sounds fun. Count me in." I did my best to not make it anymore awkward for Charlie. I knew it was already hard enough for him talk about Sue with me.
"Great! I'll let Sue know." he smiled before taking a bite of his pizza.
"Should we bring anything? I can make something, a side dish or a dessert?" I wondered out loud.
"I don't know. If you want to Bells, I don't see what it could hurt."
"I can make a pie or something." I shrugged.
"Sounds good," he grunted out.
"What time are we headed out, so I know when to be ready?"
"Four," was his chatty response.
"Gee Dad! Stop talking my ear off!" I quipped sarcastically.
"Sorry, It's just… I don't want you to feel obligated to go or anything," he explained.
"I don't feel any obligation. I really do want to go. I would like to get to know Sue. She seems to make you happy and that's all that matters to me." I smiled.
Charlie cleared his throat nervously.
"Thanks. That, uh, it means a lot to me." He looked away bashfully.
We sat in silence throughout the rest of our meal.
After dinner, I sat on the couch in the living room. Charlie watched television while I wrote out a grocery list. I decided I would make a pecan pie, Charlies favorite, to take to dinner at Sue's. I briefly wondered if Sue was using this dinner as a ploy to get Charlie on the reservation while the Cullen's were in town. Regardless, I was happy that Charlie was finally beginning to acknowledge his and Sue's relationship.
I relaxed on the couch for a while, enjoying Charlies silent company, before deciding to go to bed. I made my way sleepily up the stairs, almost tripping over the last stair. There was a sliver of light casting it's way along the floor outside my bedroom door.
That's strange. I thought.
I didn't remember leaving my bedroom light on.