Disclaimer: The LOTR and its characters belong to J.R.R Tolkien. The Sues and the situations I put them in belong to me. This is purely for fun and no profit is being made.

Extra Extra

Rainbow Ravensbane stormed through the streets, angrily ignoring the shouts of 'EMO!' from behind her. Rainbow was the new girl at her school and wasn't finding it easy. She had been doomed from her first introduction. The kids had started laughing at her name, and Rainbow had to admit, she knew why. Rainbow! Who calls their kid Rainbow for God's sake? Well Rainbows random Hippy parents did.

Rainbow didn't get along with her family. Her parents and three sisters were all so permanently happy. The sour, miserable Rainbow just didn't fit in with them. Rainbow was so lost in deadly thoughts she didn't notice the person stood in front of her. She walked straight into him.

'Will you WATCH IT!' She bellowed. The tiny paper-boy ran for his life dropping his papers onto the floor as he went. Rainbow hissed to herself and was about to storm of when she saw the paper's headline.

Ooooh, moody.

'What the...?' Rainbow spat. She was about to read the accompanying article, but the headline had changed.

If only you ruled the world.

'If only I did,' Rainbow thought to herself. She glanced back at the paper.

I know how you can.

'And who are you, Einstein?' Rainbow muttered to the paper. She didn't find it weird to be talking to a paper, or that the paper was talking back to her. But Rainbow was used to weirdness. She lived with it.

No, I'm Krystal. I run an academy for girls like you. Who want something but they just can't get it. I give you all the necessary training to make your dreams come true.

'What do you train us in? War?' Rainbow perked up a bit at the mention of war. She wasn't the most social person.

No. In beauty, charm, feminine wit...

'Oh,' Rainbow sneered.

And sword-fighting.

'Now you're talking!' Rainbow said. She ignored the people staring at her and walked on with the paper. 'So, where is this place?'

Middle Earth.

Rainbow made a noise very similar to a child being sat on. 'I'm going crazy,' she said to herself.

No, no my dear. You are one of the sanest, wisest people I've ever seen. You will be a most worthy addition to my academy.

'Oh, I'm sure of that. But I'm sick of being the new girl. When I get there all your bitches will be friends and no one will want me. I'm not going!' Rainbow could feel anger starting to bubble inside of her. She didn't know why she was angry though.

You won't be the new girl because everyone is new! The academy has only just opened. You want to get away from here don't you? The look at the front page and say, 'Mascara clumps are just for chumps.' Can you do that?

'Yes!' Rainbow snarled. She held the paper up in front of her. Looked straight into the black print and snapped, 'Mascara clumps are just for chumps.'

The picture of Keira Knightley on the front page turned to her with an evil grin. Rainbow noticed that it didn't look like Keira Knightley any more. It had become a blonde woman with a delicate face. She raised one hand and beckoned Rainbow. Rainbow was suddenly caught in a flurry of paper as the newspaper attacked her!

The paper disappeared and Rainbow looked up. She was standing in front of a huge crystal window with sunlight streaming on to her back. An Elf was standing in front of her, a look of pure annoyance on her face.

Rainbow returned the look with equal ferocity. The Elf quickly averted her eyes and droned languidly, 'welcome to the Middle Earth Academy for Mary-Sues, Rivendell, my name is Aranduriel and this is the help-desk.'

'What's the help-desk?' Rainbow asked annoyingly. Aranduriel strode over to the wooden desk by a screen door and poked it with her thumb. 'This,' she sighed, 'is the help-desk.'

'Yeah, I know.' Rainbow shrugged. Aranduriel sighed. She disappeared through the screen door. Rainbow stared out of the window. Her stomach turned at the pretty, perfect gardens. Rainbow didn't like plants. She didn't particularly like this room either. 'It's nothing special,' she muttered. A laugh rang out behind her. A woman who looked very much like the woman in the paper sidled over to her, a smile on her plump lips.

'I am Krystal Lillywhite and I am the principal of this academy. Here you will learn everything you will need to make your dreams come true and make you the most admired and beautiful person in Middle Earth', she said in a soft, harmonious voice. Rainbow looked her up and down. She was pretty, beautiful even, but she had a strange air about her, an otherworldly, untrustworthy air. Rainbow decided she liked her nonetheless.

'Where do I go?' Rainbow asked. She wanted to get to her rooms and lie down, not talk to Krystal, who seemed to want to brief her about the academy. Krystal raised an eyebrow at her. Rainbow didn't flinch. Krystal took her by the arm and led her through one of the oak doors. The two of them didn't say another word to each other.

As Rainbow and Krystal made their way down the corridors something far away stirred. A sinister smile appeared on thin lips as the villain of this story saw the wheels of his plan finally start to turn.