So Much More

Everything had been sorted out, and I didn't have to be curious about her anymore. Bella had told me her biggest secret, and I had promised her that I would keep it and not tell anyone. She trusted me, and I would never plan anything to lose her trust. Besides, we had talked about our assignment for the last two days as well, and we seemed to be getting closer by each minute. The more I was with her, the more I had to control the urge to touch her every second. We became the best of friends after that day, and I found myself wanting more of our friendship. Every time that we weren't together, I yearned for her presence next to me, and I know that it was silly since…I'm sure that I'm straight. I should really test this out sometime soon, since I couldn't really go on without knowing whether if this was just a silly girl crush, or something more.

It was already Thursday, and we were inside her Art Studio. I thought that my Designing Studio was enough for both my arts and my sketches, but I was far wrong than that. Bella's Art Studio was bigger than two King Suites combined. Yes, it was that big, and it was covered in all of her paintings, her unfinished paintings, and unfinished sketches. She was talented, and her paintings proved that. We had decided on painting her pool house, with her mom relaxing on the beach chair. Really, that was the most tranquil sight that I've ever witnessed from another human being. Renee – upon her telling me to call her by her name since she didn't want to sound too old – looked absolutely calm while lounging near the pool, even if the sun had gone down. No one disturbed her, and it looked as if the pool was her sanctuary. The expression on her face…I couldn't even describe it, not when it was beyond relaxing.

So here we sat, painting the scene that had sculptured in our minds. Our paintings might turn out to be different, but at least it held the same message; Beyond Tranquility. I was too focus on my painting, and too lost in my thought of picturing Renee relaxing under the shade of the umbrella, that I didn't realize that the sound of brushing and squashing had stopped beside me. I didn't even realize that there was a pair of eyes burning at the back of my neck. I didn't even realize any of that, until a rather loud cough caught me off guard. I squeaked in surprise, and the paint brush on my hand got slipped, luckily my painting was still in one piece. I could feel my heart beat started to race a mile per second, and my face was flushed enough that I could feel all of my blood gathering there. I heard a laugh beside me, so I turned quickly to look at her, then frowned when I realized that it was her that had startled me.

"That's not nice!" I whined, folding my arms as I pouted. When she looked over at me, she immediately stopped laughing and offered a look of apology. Really, I think my pout was more powerful than I really thought it would be.

"I'm so, so, sorry." She pleaded, her paint brush was already placed on its case. She stood up and quickly went over to me, grasping my hand when she had already made it there. Did she know what she was doing to me? She was driving me insane just by being this close to me, and touching me even though not in an intimate way. I swallowed the lump that I didn't know was there, and looked down at my hand in hers.

"It's…fine…really. You just startled me…a little." I uttered the words out, and her thumb slowly rubbed against my knuckles, increasing the feeling of electricity that I was already feeling.

"That wasn't a little, Alice. Your face was bright red." She spoke, and I could hear the amusement in her tone. So I looked up at her, and the emotions that were running within her eyes surprise me. Sure, Jasper had looked at me with the same eyes, but his emotions weren't as strong as Bella's; Love, caring, adoration, concern. There was something else too, something that I couldn't quite figure out yet whenever I looked into her eyes. It was so strong, like she had committed something that she will not break.

"Okay, you got me. Still, that wasn't nice." I pouted once more, and she almost looked like she was debating with herself with or against something. I raised an eyebrow at her, and she let go of my hand with a soft sigh.

"I'm sorry, you looked like you were in your little paradise there." She commented, a smile planting on her lips. The sight was beautiful, breathtaking. And I couldn't help but leaned forward, which was a bad move, but my brain wasn't registering the small mistake that I was going to make.

"Yea…I was…" I murmured softly, still keeping my gaze on her. She looked at me, her eyes widened a little, and I could feel that her breathing was coming as ragged. Should I do it? Should I not do it? I didn't know, not when I wanted to feel her lips so badly.

"Alice…" She breathed my name out, and that was when I caught myself. I could feel her breath on my face now, surrounding me with her scent. I was getting too addicted now, and I know it. I quickly pulled back, smiling rather sheepishly.

"Sorry, maybe we should really try and finish this painting huh?" I quickly said, and hopped out of my stool to bend down, grabbing my paint brush that was lying on the floor, forgotten. I heard shifting from behind me, so when I had the paint brush in my hand, I stood up and turned around. There she was, standing there, shocked, her eyes shimmering with newly formed tears. Oh no, did I do something wrong? "Bella?"

She blinked, and quickly looked away before lifting a hand to wipe away that tear that I had caught dropping from her eyes. "Let's just take a break, I have other assignment to get to." She quickly said, and I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, but it her words hurt me, as if she wanted me to leave. I somehow understood, that wasn't something I should be doing, teasing her with the almost-claiming-her-lips thing.

"I'm sorry, I'll catch you tomorrow then." I quickly said and went to pack up my stuff. When I turned to leave, she grabbed onto my hand, causing me to turn and look at her in confusion. She was looking away from me, refusing to meet my eyes and I felt guilty for what almost had happened.

"Why…?" She asked, and I didn't understand the question. So, I came up with the answer that had popped up in my mind.

"You're my best friend Bella, I didn't want to disturb you with your homework." I said, offering her a smile that I know didn't reach my eyes. She released my arm, and nodded.

"Best friend…" She murmured, and I nodded.

"Have a good night, Bella." I said softly, as I turned to leave. When I was half way out the door, I heard her mumble, something that I thought she would never say, or even feel that way about me.

"Is that all we ever be?"

I forced it out of my mind, not really wanting to believe it since it might be my imagination again. I hate it when my imagination got the best out of me at times, especially when I so badly want someone, or something. Right now, I was just as confused as what Bella had said in my imagination. I needed to test this theory first. I needed to see if she was all that I could think about, and I know that what I was going to do was beyond cruel, but I couldn't help it. I got into my car, and backed out of the house and drove back to my house. Once I got there, I ignored Emmett and Rosalie make-out session in the living room, and quickly moved up the stairs to my room. I shut the door when I was inside, and that was when I grabbed my mobile out, dialing the number that I wanted. I'd feel guilty about it later…or rather, I already felt it.

Oh god, I knew that it would turn out exactly like I knew it would. Here I was, using this little test of mine that was Jasper, to see if I was really into girls or not. No, to see if I was really into Bella or not. Right now, all I wanted was Bella, all I needed was Bella and Jasper wasn't her. I knew that I ruined every chance that I've had with Bella, and somehow I know that things between us wouldn't be the same anymore. So should I really take this chance with Jasper, knowing that I was using Jasper while picturing that I was with Bella? With every touch that Jasper had placed his hand on my body, I imagined that Bella was touching me. With every stroke of his tongue against mine, I imagined that I was tasting Bella's tongue instead of Jasper's. There was one thing that I tried not to make a mistake of; calling out Bella's name when Jasper was giving me all the attention that my body needed; even though wasn't from the person that I wanted.

We were in his room, our clothes had been discarded and on the floor. Tonight was the night that I would give up my virginity to my best friend, and once upon a time boyfriend. I didn't know if it would change now, not when his tongue was on every inch of my body, his hand was stroking every sensitive parts of my body, making my body response with every single touch of his. All the while, I imagined Bella touching me like this, and giving what I wanted and needed the most; and that was her. Now I know that it wasn't just a silly girl crush, it was more than that, and I was a little afraid to admit it right now.

Jasper's lips had left my nipple, and they were trailing down my body, all the while placing fevering kisses on the exposed skin that his lips were touching. I arched my back, wanting to feel more of his lips so that I could imagine it was her lips that were on my body. My breath was unstable, my heart raced when he reached down to my most womanly part. He didn't even wait to claim my hot and wet center into his mouth, flicking his tongue out violently at my clit as I writhed and moaned beneath his ministrations. He grabbed my hips firmly, holding me in place as he continued to roughly caress my wet center. This was one thing that I couldn't really imagine Bella on, since I didn't want to call out her name at the presence of Jasper. Besides, I know that there would be more to come in this. Then I felt his tongue being pushed inside me, and that was when I moaned louder, and had mistakenly called out Bella's name. I felt he paused, but then quickly picked up as he swirled his tongue around my inside, licking every inch of it. Then he moved it in and out of me, while one of his hands moved over to my clit and rubbed it. I could feel my orgasm reaching, and not long after I felt my first ever orgasm in my life. I engraved this in my memory, only so I wouldn't forget this feeling.

When I came down from my high – or when I felt he stopped licking me clean – he pulled away and lifted himself up to look at me. His lips were glossing in my juices, and I wasn't sure whether I should be blushing at the sight or not. Well, I know that I wasn't blushing, not when my face was already flushed from the climax. He then quickly reached to the side, where his drawer was, and pulled it out before taking out a condom. My eyes went wide as he tore the pouch off, and pulled out the lubricated rubber. I continued to watch as he pulled it over his erection, and I was feeling guiltier now. Guilty because I was using him. Guilty because I wasn't with Bella. Guilty because I was thinking of her while all of this was happening.

"Jazz…" I spoke, although my voice was low but he looked up at me, his eyes were unreadable. "I don't think I can…." And that was when I broke down. Tears that I thought I didn't know I was holding started spilling out, and Jasper had completely forgotten his need and desire as he quickly went over to me.

"Shh, Alice…I know. I was waiting for you to say it." Jasper murmured soothingly as he stroked my hair, then my face as he wiped the tears away. He knew, then why did he process in giving me what I didn't deserve?

"If…you know…" I sobbed, barely making the words coherent now. "Then…why did…you…" I didn't need to say anything more when he pressed his finger on my lips, successfully hushed me.

"Shhh, Alice, I just wanted to be the first to give you your first climax. I wanted to be the first to see you in this beautiful state. I wanted to be the first to touch you in every way. You've granted me those wishes, you don't need to say more." I could see the smile behind his words, and I could hear the pain in his voice as well.

"But I…." I started when he released his finger. His sigh broke through my protest, so I decided to give up on the talking and just listen to him.

"Shh, just sleep Alice. Everything will be fine. Just sleep, I will take you back to your house in the morning so you can get change."

I think all I heard was 'Sleep' since my mind was drifting off to my dreamland, and not exactly listening to him now. Soon, I found myself in a rather frightening dream. Bella was there, and I saw that I was confessing my feelings to her. Then after what she had said, after she had rejected my feelings and said that we couldn't be friends anymore, I was left in the darkness with nothing to hold on to. I sobbed, as the dream started to repeat itself over and over. I tried to wake myself up, but I couldn't. I tried to force my body to snap out of it, but nothing worked, not when the darkness had engulfed me.

A/N: Waheey, another chapter. I can find time now, especially at night when we don't go anywhere since we didn't book anything...yet. Haha. Not to mention, I get to watch a Korean drama ! Boys Over Flowers. One of the main actors are so adorable ! -Squee-

Anyway, what do you think of this chapter? It came into my head out of no where, since I didn't know what to write. Whether to have Alice be kidnapped immediately, or have her go around in circle trying to figure out her feelings. It also looks that Bella has already figured out her feelings, thanked to Alice's cruel method of helping her without realizing it. And I feel sorry for Jasper, but really, I have to give him some credit to at least have her once, but not her virginity.

Thanks for all of your reviews. =]