Extinguished
I stared out the window. The rain was streaming down it, separating and moving about. It was beautiful, the rain. I enjoyed every second of it. Not just enjoyed; I flourished in it. The rain made me happy, it made my heart lift. But... But not today. Today, the clouds were weeping, and they weren't tears of joy.
I longed to step outside, but I couldn't. I couldn't break the rumbling emotion in my chest. It was there. I actually felt something. Something about this rain was so... Sad. Morbid. Downcast. Heart-crushing. Weeping. Languishing. Tearful. My heart seemed to burst open. Well, almost. The rain seemed to strike some... Emotion… deep inside my heart.
I cradled this emotion, caressed it and loved it. Most people wouldn't cradle sadness, but I would. I like that feel. That twang of the song your heart makes when it sings the song of grief, it's beautiful. It's beautifully… wistful. Kind of melancholy. Any emotion for me, other than anger and impatience, was a beautiful thing.
I was a hard, rock shell, just a core, an empty can of beans, during Aperture. That place drained emotion out of the air and replaced it with cold, hard, neurotoxin. I hated it. I wished to cry, but no tears would come. The adrenaline... It just wouldn't back down. It filled up that space where emotion had been. Any spark of emotion in me now was... Miraculous.
The rain pounded on the window, singing its own sweet, melancholy song. The rain wasn't the only thing pounding though. My heart seemed to be just oozing. I wanted to capture the emotion and keep it, but I just couldn't. My heart pounded for a different reason as well. Maybe now, that I have emotion, I can think about Him.
The sadness dimmed for a second just thinking about Him. There was no place he went that he didn't bring happiness. He was the one true light in the dim worlds of Aperture. His accent seemed to bounce off the walls and straight into my heart. It never showed though. During that time my heart was becoming softer, more naïve to the mysteries of emotion.
As his brightness turned to dark, the whole world seemed engulfed in flame. Well, it practically was, but that isn't the point. My heart's newly formed bandages withered away, the hard shell I was before was reappearing. It was horrible to have the wonders of emotion in your soul taken away right after you received them. I was in disbelief as I had watched the confetti flying through the air turn to blood, and as energetic and gleeful became sinister. That's too horrible of a thought process; let's go back to happier times for a moment.
There were only a few times any emotions poured into my bones. The first; Wheatley. The second; Wheatley. The third... Wheatley. He was my source of life! He was more of a person than most of the real people that I've seen. With his cheerful personality, he did more than just lead me through tunnels of Aperture in the wrong directions, save me from neurotoxin and turrets, and wake me up from cryo. He saved me. He woke me up. Not just physically, but mentally.
He ignited a spark that set me aflame, making me stronger, better, and braver. I could march through raging hurricanes with him as my cheering squad. Yet... Without him I was a dying fire left in the cold rain. I was extinguished. He was my flamethrower. Wheatley was my spark that led me to everything and all. But now... The flame is gone. The spark is gone.
That's why this grasp of emotion is so beautiful. So long ago I would've been confused at this sadness that washes over me, but now I just accept the flow of the river and hold on to the water as long as I can before it slips through my fingers, knowing that this rush of water may never pass this way again.
I knew something was wrong as he stopped the elevator. Once He turned sinister, I knew it couldn't be him. It couldn't be. Something had taken his spark and thrown logs on it, barricading the path to a flame and a future. It was something about that mainframe. Something evil. I might've believed it for a second, I might've believed that deep down inside he was nothing but evil and plague, but his desperate cries for help turned me inside out, upside down, all around.
The sound of that plea was too much. I could hear it in his voice as I tried with all my might to keep my igniter close to the decaying debris that was my heart. But it was too much. The emptiness of space started closing in on me, sucking the air out of my lungs and weakening my strength. My fingers were throbbing and then I just… Let go …Catch me, catch me, catch me… A hammer was sent at my heart, and the very memory of him flying distantly into space was just... Heart crushing.
The pain of losing him was there again. I looked up to the rain. It seemed I was almost to tears. I willed them on. Tears are beautiful. Crying gives you strength, it makes you better, but I... Couldn't cry. A sob racked my body, but nothing happened. A lump in my throat, I put my hand up to the window, wishing to cry with the rain.
Suddenly, a loud boom shook the earth, forcing my hand to slip off the glass window. Surprise and shock showed on my face. Was it lighting? Earthquake? Meteor? Or…Him…? I peered out through the blurred window and into the horizon. My eyes met a billowing cloud of smoke… or was that rain? I ran to the front door, hoping for a clearer view. It seemed that the horizon had a dip in it, kind of like a… crater…
Was it him? Wheatley. Wheatley had fallen from space. He was back. I tried to push my hopes back; larger hopes lead to larger falls. But as much as I tried to suppress them, my hopes were already escalating in height, building and building, urging me to go on.
I ran out the door, without a second thought, my hopes rising high. My bare feet splayed in the mud, and my wet hair slapped my face unmercifully, but I still ran. I ran, I ran so hard, thinking all the while, oh please, oh please let it be him. I tripped and got a face full of dirt and wheat, but the moment I fell down I was back up again, running even faster than before, even though that is the partial factor that made me slip in the first place. Please let it be my Wheatley. My spark, my flamethrower, my match. There was only one thought running through my mind. Wheatley. I didn't care that I could taste mud in my mouth or that my feet were more behind me than in front of me. I just ran.
Please oh please be him! I almost missed the steep incline that was the entrance to the crater. I stopped for a second, trying to figure out a way to get down without hurting myself, but then I decided that he was worth any scrapes and bruises. I ran, mostly fell, down the small cliff, creating an avalanche of small rocks and clumps of dirt. They tumbled down the ledge with me, bumping against my legs and arms. Little sharp sticks of pain here and there were registered in my mind, but I myself didn't notice them. I was too busy trying to get back to my fire lighter. I finally ended up at the bottom of the crater, twisting my ankle in the process. I ignored the pain and limped to the center of the landing site.
Smoke cascaded everywhere, messing with my sense of direction. It was like a spring morning after a heavy rainfall in a bog, except it wasn't peaceful and serene. This toxic fog made you cough and sputter your lungs out and it blinded you of your direction, sanity, and sight. The rain was just a plus to the madness. It was full out storming now, not a quiet peaceful rain like it was before. Flashes of light made their way through the unnatural fog, making a scene worthy of any haunted house. Shapes seemed to leer behind me as I bent down low to the ground, trying to regain my breath that was being consistently stolen by the smoke.
The rain badgered me with angry fists, as if it didn't want me to find my fate. Spears of light pierced their way through the clouds, sending loud echoes to my innocent ears. I coughed again, crouching lower to the ground, almost eating the dirt. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel; I honestly felt like giving up in that moment. But I knew that if I did, I might regret it for the rest of my life. Regret is the worst human emotion and I definitely don't want that emotion ripping my newly healed heart apart.
My heart was pounding as I took a shaky breath from inside my shirt. I held the small breath of air and started crawling toward the place that I thought was relatively close to the center. I wished some more. Please oh please be Wheatley. Suddenly a large strike of lightning came flashing through the sky, illuminating everything around me. I winced as the corresponding boom came, but then I noticed something. I could barely make out a dark patch of substance of uneven ground that slightly looked human-like.
Wheatley.
I gasped and limped as fast as I could toward the object, hoping, hoping, hoping. I was almost there when my ankle gave out, bringing me toward the ground at a considerably fast pace. I hit the dirt face first and immediately tried to stand up again. Suddenly… I couldn't stand up. I coughed into the ground and tried again… nothing. Pain throbbed in my leg, in fact all over, but I didn't give up.
I reached my arms out and clutched the ground before me, scrabbling forward. It took a great deal of effort to lift myself forward without my leg strength, but I still tried. The smoke stung my eyes, tearing at them and causing more pain. I struggled to keep them open, any other way I would lose direction and sense.
I felt like a zombie as I slowly crawled my way to the dark figure. I couldn't move my legs, but my arms still worked methodically as I swam through the dirt and smoke. Rain pelted me relentlessly, wetting the mud all over my face. The smoke was thicker the closer I got to the body, that is, if it was a body. I was almost there. My breath came in ragged gasps and my lungs quickly filled with smoke.
Wheatley… I will… go… to you.
Wheatley… I will… help you.
Suddenly the figure was right next to me. It was definitely a body, but whether it was human or android, I couldn't tell.
The smoke was so thick that I could barely see the standard Aperture android suit that the android wore. It was sickening when I looked at it. I was used to seeing crisp, clean and spotless, but this clothing was worn thin, smudges scattered in random places and not a spot of clean material to be found.
I put my hand near his face and wished for him to be okay, I wished for him to be alive, I wished for the smoke to clear so that I could see his face. I wanted my fire starter to wake up. I wanted my spark to come alive again. I wished I could see his electric blue artificial yet so beautiful eyes, the ones that sparkled brighter than the brightest star on a clear night. I wished to hear his beautiful bubbling voice that flowed out of his mouth like a river of sound. I wished, I wished, I wished.
Please… be... my Wheatley…
I wasn't afraid that he was going to wake up and hate me, I wasn't afraid that he would wake up and be horrible, I was afraid that he wouldn't wake up at all. Suddenly his head started moving. I couldn't see it through the smoke, but I could feel it through my hand. His cheek twitched and his head shook and his eyes fluttered, but didn't open. I hoped they would open, I wanted them to open, even if I couldn't see them well. Wheatley…
The eyes opened. The dilated pupils narrowed. The eyebrows went up. The lashes unlaced. None of these slight actions caught my attention, I couldn't see them. It seemed that all of the Aperture androids eyes glowed, and that was one of the only ways I could see them through the thick smoke and billowing rain that surrounded us. But I noticed one thing above all; the color. As his eyes opened, my heart stopped and cracked in two.
My eyes met yellow.
They weren't blue.
The rest was a blur. I remember falling to the ground and wishing I could scream. I remember pounding my fists on the ground, bloodying them and ripping them to shreds. The rain had flown down my face, and had gathered up blood, snot, and... Tears. I was crying. For the first time in forever I was crying. But I didn't care, and I barely remembered it. There was a bigger and more important fact; my Wheatley was gone. Forever. I was forever extinguished. My... Flame... Gone. My fuel tank ran empty. I had raged out of control until I couldn't anymore. I remembered falling on the ground and watching the weeping clouds above me. It seemed they knew what was going to happen. It seemed they knew my heart would be broken. That's why they were so sad. During that blur of anger and pain, I never really noticed my surroundings. I don't know what Space did, or what he didn't do; survive. I had just raged. Soon, even lying awake seemed too exhausting. I had slowly slipped into a faint, into the darkness. I was extinguished.
...
I awoke and expected dirt and pain, but instead I got a miracle. The sky was blue and not a speck of smoke was to be found. A couple of white, fluffy, cumulus clouds skipped in the sky and birds sang in the distance. It was the image of a perfect morning. But best of all was the face standing over me. The sun sparkled overhead, illuminating the person. "Wow, you look terri- I mean, pretty good actually. Considering… Hey, don't I kno- Wait… Is that you? Chell?" I blinked my eyes expecting him to disappear, but he was still there. He was still… Wheatley. Wheatley. Alive Wheatley.
A/N
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY! I FINALLY FINISHED IT! IT'S A MiRaClE! *cough cough* Sorry, I've been working on this for forever, as I just loved the idea and I wanted to make it absolutely perfect. I apologize for making so many Chelley fics, but I just can't help it. I just so GLaD that I finally finished this finally since forvever and bluh, bluh, bluh...
Anyway, the marvelously awesome person of the day is... Seasprayluvs and their story Fly Away, Little Bird! Hurray!
Please, please, please, please, please, please review!