Sam was the new comer of the team, the rookie, yet he fit in perfectly.
He was never depressed or unhappy. In fact, he was the one that kept it light on the way to a call. Always seemed to have a smile, how is that someone so happy could end up in a place like this?
She's always been the strong one of the group. One of the boys. She never cried, never complained. She was always in control. How could someone so tough end up in a place like this?
The silence was deafening. They both seemed to twiddle their thumbs and look down at the ground before Sam looked up.
"Would you like to grab some cheap, horrible coffee and walk around in the freezing cold?"
Again, somehow finding something funny to say at such an awkward moment.
"You sure know how to impress a girl" She joked
But his offer was perfect.
"I'd love to" She smiled. Not a pretend smile that she was forced to give now and then but a real smile.
They walked outside holding their cups of coffee and found a park bench under a street light to sit on.
Neither really knew what to say or ask. Both had a million questions running through their head but were too scared to ask.
Jules spoke first. "So does anyone know about this" She didn't look him in the eyes, instead just stared at the steam rising out of her coffee cup.
"No" He said, it sort of scared her how serious he could be with a simple 2 letter word.
"You?"
"No, I'm not even too sure on … this" She didn't know what to call it, she couldn't dare say she was an addict.
They each took a sip of their coffee.
"Do you mind if I ask…?" Jules wasn't sure if now was the right time to ask but she was just so curious.
"How I ended up here?"
"It's ok if you don't…"
Sam just gazed at her. He'd never felt safe or open with someone like this before. He trusted Jules so much, it was like they had been friends for years.
"I accidentally shot and killed my best friend in Afghanistan"
He looked away, almost as if he was about to cry.
"I…I'm sor…I didn't know" She muttered, clearly embarrassed for asking the question.
"It's ok, after that I turned to drugs and they took over my life. I've been clean for 2 months now" Now Jules' story seemed like an over dramatized child's play compared to Sam's.
"Now it's my turn…" He added
"Why are you here?"
Jules looked down at her coffee cup as her heart rate sped up.
"After shooting that man the other day I drank and when the alcohol wore off, I took the pain killers and when I wasn't taking pain killers it was flu tablets. Washing them down with a bottle of wine. Then I shoot a little girl and next thing I know I'm buying Cocaine"
She stopped for a breath. She had kept this in for almost a week now and she couldn't believe how amazing it felt to just get it off her chest.
"I'm punching mirrors, passing out on my bathroom floor and now I'm at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting"
Sam sat there in disbelief.
"You know, when I was trying to quit, it would've been nice to have someone to talk to, call whenever I felt I was going to take something. It would've made things a whole lot easier" Sam said.
He continued "I know I'm only sort of new and we're still getting to know each other but I know you're the sort of woman that likes to do things alone. You never ask for help. You look at it as some sign of weakness but it's not"
Usually Jules would fight back, say some smart ass remark but she didn't because he was right.
"If you think you're going to or you already have taken something please, just call me. Even if you just want to talk. You can trust me"
An overwhelming sense of relief came over her. She had told someone her secret and it felt good.
"I might just take you up on that offer" She giggled.
Sam put his usual smile back on his face before taking a sip of his coffee.
Neither one could really feel how cold it was, they were just both enjoying each other's company.
****
Jules crawled into her bed, trying to piece together everything that had happened that night.
It was well past midnight and she knew she had to get a good nights sleep but as she tossed and turned she quickly realised that wasn't going to happen easily. She looked over next to her bed and saw some sleeping pills she'd bought. She picked up the packet and popped a few out.
Please, just call me
She hesitated
You can trust me
"Just this one time" And with that she washed the pills down with some water and laid back down in her bed
Well that was quick. I may as well tattoo failure in big letters on my face. Sam shot and killed his best friend and he was able to quit…or has he? If he was clean for 2 months, why would he be at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting?
But before she could think of answer she fell asleep.