Chapter 10 – The Way You Were
Stan had already unloaded the luggage from the bus and was headed to meet Filch at the gate by the time the four Hogwarts professors had disembarked. Charlie pushed Alivia forward. She was drinking in the sight. On Charlie's impetus, she had approached the gate herself. Then, she wrapped her hands around the large black iron bars of the fence. Her face poked through them almost like a prisoner staring out from her cell. She stared up at the astronomy tower, the highest visible point on this side of the building. So many memories were held there. Her hand flew to her throat as she gasped for breath. She felt a hand on her arm. Expecting to find Charlie, she turned. Instead, it was Harry. He had his own memories of the tower. He moved his hand from her hand to her back and rubbed it supportively until Argus Filch, the castle's caretaker, arrived to let them in. They left their trunks and followed him to the front entrance.
On the way in, he mumbled about having to get things ready in advance for them, but they basically ignored his grumbling. They were more than used to it by now. Instead, they moved through the door into the entrance hall. Waiting for them in all her regal splendor was the Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Professor Minerva McGonagall. She was wearing a very McGonagall-esque ensemble, a long tartan skirt with a dark bodice and cape. Noticeably missing was the hat that almost always covered her tightly wrapped chignon of gray hair. She hugged each one of them in turn, but spent an extra amount of time with both Alivia and Charlie. She noted that even though it was late, they must all be famished. She led them into the Great Hall where the house elves had prepared quite a feast, even for midday much less midnight. They each took a place at the head table and began eating. Alivia didn't think that she had been hungry at all, just tired, but walking into the school had energized her beyond imagination.
When they had finished, Professor McGonagall asked if they felt up to touring the staff quarters. She knew, of course, that Harry could find his room, but the others would probably need direction. They decided to all go together. They started with Harry's office and quarters. It was the same office that had been occupied by Dolores Umbridge, Remus Lupin, and many other DADA teachers during the time that he, Alivia, and Charlie were in school. His apartment was located not too terribly far from his office, down the corridor and to the left. The entrance was behind a statue that Alivia was sure she had never noticed before. She'd never been in a staff member's personal quarters, and she now realized that they were somewhat like the Room of Requirement. They could only be entered if that professor invited you and showed you how to get there. She wondered where her quarters would be.
They didn't have to wait too much longer. Professor McGonagall led them up to the sixth floor and down the east wing corridor. There she showed Hermione and Alivia the adjoining apartments that they would be occupying. Their trunks had already arrived, and Alivia gazed longingly and sleepily at her bedroom door. Professor McGonagall decided that the tour had lasted long enough. The rest of the group said goodnight as the girls began to unpack their things. Alivia found her pajamas and went into her room to change. The four poster bed was made up in dark crimson velvet. There was no Gryffindor emblem anywhere, that would be inappropriate, as she was not head of house. Only Harry could show his allegiance to their old house now. Still, she was glad to see the familiar room decorations.
Hermione was coming out of the bathroom when she went back into their sitting room. Alivia curled up in one of the armchairs in front of a crackling fire. It wasn't quite the Gryffindor common room, but it was very close in appearance. Hermione thought about sitting with her for a while, but she decided against it. She said goodnight and disappeared into her room. Alivia sat quite still for sometime until she thought she could hear kids running around. She thought she must have dozed off as she rubbed her eyes. She stood up and looked around and found herself right in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. Before she could even try to figure out what was going on, the door from the boys' dormitory opened and someone was coming down the stairs. She nearly fainted when Mark emerged from the archway. He smiled and ran to catch her as she fell back toward the chair. He lowered her into it and grabbed a bar of Honeydukes chocolate from his pocket.
"Here, Ali, eat this would you? I know you skipped dinner again. You're not going to do well on your N.E.W.T.s if you don't keep up your strength."
Her eyes darted around the room. How could this be possible? She was a sixth year again. Mark was in front of her and she couldn't explain or understand it.
"Ali, I'm serious," he continued. "You're so pale and I know you have to be tired and hungry. I don't want you to be ill. Please promise you're going to get some sleep and come to meals. You can't continue to spend all of your time studying. It just isn't healthy."
She remembered this conversation. She had gone a little crazy over studying for her exams. She'd had high grades throughout the year but still had been terrified of failing. She'd skipped meals and had stayed up all night to study for a week or so. Mark had final called her on it and she'd had to admit that he was right. She hadn't been sure about how things had gotten out of hand, but she'd been thankful for Mark's notice and willingness to help her.
Mark seemed worried that that she hadn't responded. He picked her up and placed her on his lap. Her tears came quickly and freely upon experiencing his touch again. She wasn't sure how this was happening, but it was. He was holding her and she did not ever wish for it to end.
"Ali, please say something," he pleaded with her.
"I love you, Mark."
He turned to face her. She realized that it was the first time either of them had said these words to the other.
"Oh, Ali, I love you, too. I'm worried about you. Is this about what happened with Harry?"
"Yes, I guess it is in some ways. This means that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named could come back. Dumbledore thinks that it's possible, and that means that all the horrible things that happened before could happen again. If that's so, I want to be in a position to do something to help. Mark, I want to be an Auror. Nymphadora Tonks is already halfway through her training. I've corresponded with her over the past year, and I really think this is what I want to do. I know that you don't necessarily want to stay in the Wizarding World, but I want to be prepared for the future in case I do want to stay."
"You know that I'm leaving after graduation for a while. I'm going to University in America and that's going to take four years. By the time I'm done, you'll be finished Auror training and then we can go from there. I love you, Ali, but I'm 17. I don't know what I can offer you. I'll give you everything that I have, but I don't want you to make your plans according to what I want. What if something happens to us, what if this doesn't last?"
Alivia stopped him. "Mark, it will last. Believe me."
He looked deep into her eyes. "I do believe you."
She watched his gorgeous face blur as the hot tears spilled down her cheeks.
"What's the matter? Ali? Why are you crying?"
She was pretty close to hysterical by this time. He held her close and stroked her hair as she continued to sob. He didn't know what else to do but hold her. Finally, when she had calmed a bit, he wiped her face with his shirtsleeve. She whimpered slightly and looked at him, a pained expression on her pretty face. "Mark, please don't leave me."
"Oh, Ali, the last think I want to do is be without you, but I have to go for a while. Then I'll be back for you and we'll be together. I promise you that I won't ever leave you. Come to bed now? You're exhausted and you're getting all worked up."
"No! Mark, just stay here with me. Just hold me here, please?" His arms tightened around her and after a while, she felt him fall asleep. She tried to stay awake and drink in his smell and his touch. God, how she missed him! Finally she wasn't able to fight sleep any longer. She closed her eyes and gave in.
She woke a little while later and instinctively reached for Mark. He wasn't there. She wasn't in the Gryffindor common room anymore but had returned to the sitting room she and Hermione now shared. She looked around, disoriented and devastated. Mark wasn't there and she knew with a fair amount of certainty that he hadn't been. She had been dreaming all along. The tears started again, and she didn't even try to stop them. She knew that it would be impossible to sleep now, so she grabbed her robe, slippers and wand and quietly left the room.
She illuminated her wand and headed toward the seventh floor tower. She expected resistance from the Fat Lady, as she would have to wake her. And Alivia didn't know the password. She tapped on the frame, and the Fat Lady appeared.
"What's the meaning of this? No one is permitted in here before the start of term except Head of House, and you are not Mr. Potter."
"I know, ma'am, but if you could please make this one exception," she asked, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. "I really need to go in there, just for a moment, please. Maybe you remember me? My name was Alivia Morgan, and I was in Gryffindor several years ago, my husband and I both. You see, he passed away last year, and I just thought that maybe if I went in there, I, he …" she was crying again.
"You poor dear," the Fat Lady interjected. "Go in and take all the time you need. I'm afraid that it isn't quite ready yet for the start of term, but maybe you'll find what you need." The painting swung away, revealing the portrait hole and door. Alivia stepped through into the common room.
It was chilly in the room. She had forgotten how drafty a large castle could be, even in the middle of the summer. Her wand was the only light, so she lit three lamps before she started a fire. As she turned from the hearth she noticed a table in the far left corner of the room, near the door to the girls' dormitory. On it were several volumes of scrapbooks of Gryffindor happenings over the past century or so. She walked to the table and selected the correct books for the years she wanted. Then, she opened the door to the boys' dorm and began the ascent to the top floor rooms, those housing the seventh years. The door was unlocked and she walked into the darkness very slowly. Once again, she illuminated her wand and was able to decipher the room's layout. She knew the place that had been Mark's, and even though there had been many other boys who had slept here since him, she hoped that some of Mark's essence may have remained. She walked across the room, drew back the curtains and climbed into the large four-poster bed. She pulled the covers around her against the chill of the room and opened the first book. The smiling classes looked back at her, blinking and waving madly. She recognized Charlie, a second year at the time and Mark, only in his first year at Hogwarts out of a group of boys on the third page. Systematically, she flipped through the pages of Mark's seven years at Hogwarts, carefully remembering every event and the circumstances of each photo. Before she realized it, she was turning more and more slowly until she lay on Mark's bed no longer able to cry or sleep, beside her was a photo of the two of them at his seventh year Winter Ball, as the sun was rising outside the curtains.
Hermione woke a few hours later. She went into the bathroom where she took a long hot shower. When she was finished, she fixed her hair and got dressed in her robes before she went to check on Alivia. She wasn't sure what to think when she realized that Alivia wasn't in her room, nor was she in the sitting room. Perhaps Alivia had awoken earlier and was already at breakfast. She gathered her things and descended the stairs into the Great Hall where mostly everyone had already gathered. She took a seat by Harry and Charlie who asked her where Alivia was. They both looked concerned, and Charlie's brow furrowed when Hermione said that she hadn't been in the room earlier. They decided to wait until after breakfast, and if Alivia didn't show for the meeting they would go to look for her. Hermione reluctantly agreed with their plan. They finished their eggs and toast as Professor McGonagall indicated she was ready for the faculty meeting to begin. Hermione glanced nervously at Charlie and Harry on either side of her. Charlie nodded his head and Hermione signaled Professor McGonagall. She explained that they hadn't seen Alivia that morning and that they were beginning to worry. Professor McGonagall turned to the rest of the staff and postponed the meeting until she could take care of something. She asked Madame Pomfrey to accompany her, Harry, Hermione and Charlie. They exited the Great Hall. Madame Pomfrey asked where they were going and all four answered her in unison: "Gryffindor Tower."