Chapter 9

My life was taking turns for itself these days. I felt as if I was just along for the ride. I would go with the flow and not resist the tide, even if it washed me out to sea and set me sailing in another direction.

"I used to see Xiao Lang at some of the better restaurants, but most of the time, he was alone," Gwen said as she drove. "When a man has been burned by a woman the way he was, he's understandably gun-shy. That's why I'm so curious about whom he might be seeing. Maybe it's an old flame," she added, looking to see if I had any information after all.

"I don't know." I said, "He said nothing about anyone and like I said, I haven't seen much of him since returning from my lunch break."

She drove on, her frustration and disappointment reviving her own misery. I wanted to feel sympathetic, but I suspected that a woman as pushy as she seemed to be was probably more than half responsible for a failed relationship. I really knew little about relationships. What else did I have to go on but my time with Akatsuki-kun?

I had to rely on my own instincts, even when it came to something as trivial as what clothing I would buy for myself.

I didn't think Gwen's taste was going to be mine, especially when it came to my office wardrobe. I knew she was surprised at how conservative I was with my choices, but it was precisely the impression of seeming older, but are wise and responsible for a young woman beginning her adulthood that was winning me the respect I wanted. As Otou-san would say when he quoted the Bible, which he often did those early Sunday mornings, 'When I was a child, I spoke as a child. I understood as a child. I thought as a child. But when I become a man, I put away childish things.'

"I'm very up on the trending styles young women your age are wearing these days, Sakura," she insisted when I didn't take to some of her suggestions.

"For work, this is just fine," I told her, looking at a few pencil skirts along with alternative blouses and dresses.

"Nonsense, nothing should be 'just fine.' A woman never stops trying to be as attractive as she can, whether it's at work or on a date," she said. "I'm afraid you've been a little too secluded to handle yourself in this competitive world of ours. Every woman, especially every women your age, is competing all the time."

"For what?" I asked, puzzled.

"For men's attention. What else?"

I chuckled. "You should have been with me today then. You'd see I don't have that problem, Gwen."

"Well don't be too arrogant, Sakura. I can tell you from experience that it's not an attractive feature when it comes to holding a man's interest. That's why I think Xiao Lang would appreciate me more. I'm sure the women he's seeing are snobs. I want you to tell me who they are when you find out. I'm sure there's more than one."

I didn't respond. I continued to shop for what I thought I needed. She trailed along but clearly with little interest than before.

"If we're going to eat at the Mizuki House, we'll have to move along," she said after a while. "I feel a little foolish dressed like this, and I don't feel like staying long especially when the place is filling up with mall rats."

"Mall rats?"

"Teenagers and pre-teens who think of it as a hang-out. Don't tell me you never did that."

"Just rarely," I said.

"What sort of childhood did you have?" she asked, sounding even more annoyed.

"A unique one," I said. "Listen, I'm thinking of getting some new shoes so why don't you go on ahead and head back? I'll grab a taxi. If I'm going to be late or not going back for dinner, I'll call Kaho-san," I said. "I should be fine by myself."

She looked at me suspiciously. "Are you sure you haven't made some sort of secret date with one of those men at the office?"

"First, I'm not interested in anyone there," 'okay that first one was a lie but Gwen didn't need to know that.' "and second, no."

Her eyes narrowed now with all kinds of new suspicions. I could practically hear her thoughts. She was oblivious to the noise around us. "How did you get Li Xiefa to hire you so quickly? I'm sure she had many applicants for that job. I can't believe she did it based solely on Kaho's recommendation."

"She didn't recommend me, Gwen. She arranged for my interview. It was really up to me."

"Well, how did you do it then? What was it that you promised the Li's?"

"Efficiency, dedication, and loyalty," I said, emphasizing loyalty.

She looked around and then turned back to me. "I just decided. I'm not returning to the Mizuki House for dinner with those boring people. Since you're going to be finding your own way back, I'm leaving."

"Thank you for bringing me here," I said. "I know you did it out of pure kindness."

Instead of saying anything she huffed and marched away, her pumps sounding like small hammers driving hateful nails into the mall's tile floor. Maybe I was too hard on her, I thought as she rounded a corner and disappeared. My experiences with other women was very limited. Other girls my age relied on those experiences, whereas I kept reminding myself that I had to rely solely on my instincts and my perceptions which were a bit more sharper and keener but still left me at some disadvantage.

And then I thought perhaps I was wrong about that. Truthfully, I had no disadvantages when it came to comparing myself with other girls. Perhaps in my determination to flee, I had blinded myself to a greater reality and ignored an insistent realization. I vowed to stop belittling myself. I was behaving no better than Syaoran, soaking in self-pity.

Get over it, Sakura. You're on your own, I told myself.

I did look for new pairs of shoes and also made sure to get myself a warm jacket so I could return Gwen's to her. I concentrated so much on what I was doing that I lost track of time and had to rush out to find a taxi. It was too late to cancel dinner at the Rooming House. I thought I would just go right to the dinning room after I put my shopping bags in my room.

But as it turned out, that wasn't going to be as easy as I thought.

My arms were full of bags when I stepped out of the mall to look for a taxi. The sky was partly cloudy, but you could tell oncoming showers were blowing in from the east. A chill hung in the air, but that made it sharp and clean. All lights were brighter, all sounds clearer. I felt a healthy surge of energy building in my body. Like some animal depending on its natural instincts and sixth sense, I felt something threatening nearby and slowly began to look around myself.

There were three guys who had looked to be around my age ,or a year or two older, on the corner to my right, smoking cigarettes and laughing. One paused to look my way, and nudged his friend on the arm to look as well. I didn't know what they were saying or laughing about, but I was sure it had something to do with me. I could see they were just about to start in my direction. I looked for a taxi but saw none. For a moment, I debated going back into the mall.

I didn't want to have what I know would be a physical and sexual confrontation. I felt panic surge through my veins. Just before I turned to find some way to retreat, I heard my name called out and saw Atashi Nanami hurrying down the sidewalk toward me.

"Atashi?"

I looked back at the boys; my demeanour calming a little since Atashi approached me. They hesitated and just watched us. For a minute, I thought he was either unable or unwilling to explain his presence. The fact that he was actually standing in front of me seemed to overwhelm him.

"I'm surprised to see you," I said, hoping to help him along. He smiled.

"Yes. I happened to be here and saw Gwen leave by herself a while ago. Of course, I remembered you were supposed to be shopping with her. I was looking for you inside but didn't see you, so I thought you might not have came here with her after all. I was just getting into my car when I saw you come out. I imagine you want to return to the Mizuki House."

"Yes."

"Do you have a car picking you up?"

"No. I was looking for a taxi."

"Look no more," he said. "I'll be happy to give you a ride. Here, let me help you with some of those bags. Did some shopping I see."

I gave him a light smile. "Yes." I looked back at the boys. They headed for their corner, looking like cowardly coyotes searching for easier, unprotected prey. "Cutting it close for dinner, aren't you?" I asked him.

He nodded, embarrassed that he had looked so hard and long for me. "Don't worry, though. We should still be there in enough time. Not much traffic in that direction. By the way, why did Gwen leave you here?"

"I think she was bored. She decided to head some place else, but I didn't mind."

He nodded. "This is my car," he said when we reached the parking lot. He had a 2005 Toyota Corolla. He opened the back and began putting my bags in. "Were you able to at least get everything you wanted?"

"It's a start."

"I bet."

"I'm lucky that you were here," I said.

"Well, to be honest, I was worried about you," he said as we got into his car. He paused and looked straight down at the steering wheel. "I mean, I know how Gwen is, and I thought that you might get frustrated with her, what with her attitude and all. So I figured that if I happened by, I could sort of take her place, and you'd have the time you needed to shop. I stayed late at the school correcting papers. I like it better when everyone's gone. Anyway, I thought about the mall...and...you...and just...stopped."

"That's very thoughtful, Atashi-kun, and, as it turns out, prescient."

He smiled. "I've known Gwen a little longer than you have. Sometimes it's not all that difficult to predict how some things will turn out when it comes to her."

We drove out of the parking lot. I asked Atashi about his teaching day, and he had described some of the problems he was having with some students and, surprisingly, with their parents.

"You would think I was teaching a classroom of angels."

"Why did you take a job in a private girls' school?" I asked. "You must have had some idea what it would be like."

"I thought it would be worse in the public school system, but I guess I made a mistake," he said.

He had started to ask me about my work when, all of a sudden, just after we had made a turn and he was accelerating, he cried out and swung the car so abruptly to the right that we slammed head-on into a tree trunk. Our airbags exploded and I quickly shielded my face before the bag smacked me in the face, but his hit his face so hard it nearly snapped his head off.

He groaned and pushed the airbag away. I too did the same with mine.

"Sakura?" he called. I saw how banged-up his nose, forehead, and cheeks were. There was a thin line of blood cutting just over his right eyebrow.

"You're bleeding!" He said, reaching for me, but gasped and gripped his arm in pain. I was feeling warm liquid trickling down the side of my face, past my ear and onto my blouse.

"Careful," I said. "Can you move?" I then asked.

"I think my leg is broken. It kinda hurts to move right now." He said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay. Just have a headache, and my body aches a little. What happened?"

"Didn't you see him?"

"Who?"

"That guy. Looked to be about in his twenties. He was suddenly just there, directly in front of us. I-I thought for sure I was going to hit him. Oh God, what if I did? It was all so sudden."

I looked back and across the street but saw no one describing Atashi's descriptions and no one was lying dead on the road. Another vehicle pulled up against the curb, and a man and a woman got out quickly.

"Are you two alright?" the man asked after opening the driver's-side door. The woman came around to my side and opened the door, helping me out. I felt dizzy and nauseous but shook it off.

"You okay? We were right behind you and saw you turn abruptly."

"I'm okay, but he's pretty hurt," I said. "The airbag."

"You still need an ambulance, you're bleeding heavily, probably from a head-wound." She was right. It would explain the dizziness, headache and nausea I'm feeling right now.

I gave a weak smile. "I'll be alright." I kept looking up and down the street, searching for any sign of a pedestrian. "Did you see anyone step in front of us?"

"No," she said. "I mean, there could have been someone, but I wasn't paying that much attention until my husband cried out, 'Look at that!'"

Her husband was on his cell phone. Another vehicle going in the opposite direction pulled to the side, and then another car pulled behind the one at the curb.

"What happened?" the driver of the second car asked the woman.

"He says someone, a guy, stepped in front of them and he had to turn abruptly to avoid hitting him and lost control. Airbags kept them both from getting too badly hurt, but he seems a bit more banged up than she is. They need an ambulance," she said.

"Which are on their way," her husband said, returning to us. "You should probably be X-rayed to be sure you're alright."

Atashi protested. I knew he was more embarrassed than seriously hurt, but it was better to be certain.

"They might be right, Atashi-kun," I told him. Moments later, a police patrol car pulled up, and two officers got out. The younger one approached me after they both had heard Atashi's explanation.

"Wǒ shì jūnguān Yamazaki.(I am officer Yamazaki.) I just need your statement on what happened Miss..."

"Kinomoto."

"Kinomoto? Do you by chance work in Li Corp?"

"Yes."

"I knew your name sounded familiar. You're Sakura Chiharu had told me so much about. I'm Takashi Yamazaki, Chiharu's boyfriend." he extended a hand out.

"It's nice to meet you, Officer Yamazaki."

"Oh no no, please, just call me Takashi." he gave a lopsided smile. "What a way to meet huh? I do however need to know what happened so we can get you to the hospital afterwards. Was he drinking?"

"No, he wasn't. He just came to the mall to pick me up and take me back to the Mizuki House."

"Kaho Mizuki's rooming house?"

"Yes. We need to contact her. We were expected for dinner."

I reached into the car to find my purse and dig out my cell phone. While I was talking to her, the ambulance arrived. Atashi tried to resist, but by now, a small crowd had gathered, and the police were insisting that he get checked out.

"Did you see the guy in the street , too?" the second policeman asked me.

"I was looking off to the right. It all happened too fast," I said, not wanting Atashi to get into trouble.

"Let's get you over to the hospital now to have you examine." Takashi said.

"I have things in the car,"

"I'll get them," he offered. He looked like he was in his late twenties and gave me a friendly smile. While he gathered my things, the paramedics put Atashi into the ambulance. Moments later, a tow truck arrived.

"They listen on a scanner," he told me. "This guy is always one of the first to arrive on an accident scene, but you can't leave the car here, and that front is bashed in pretty good."

"It's not my car, but I'm sure Atashi wouldn't object."

"Couldn't leave it on the street here, either," he said. "I might have to arrest you both," he joked as he led me to the patrol car.

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Destruction of federal property, a tree."

I chuckled and he opened the door, loading my bags into the back-seat with me. I watched him talking with his partner for a few moments. They watched the tow truck driver get Atashi's Corolla pulled away from the tree trunk and lifted to be taken off. The ambulance left, and Takashi and his partner returned to the patrol car. All the while, I searched the street, the houses, and every shadowy area I could see, looking for any signs of a young man.

In my heart, I feared who it might have been...