AN: Sorry, no warnings for this chapter. See bottom of page for more.

Disclaimer: So don't own.

Bruce was the first to wake up, though he was soon followed by a grumbling Batman, and he opened his eyes to see the worried turned relieved face of his old mentor. Turning his head slightly at B's prompting, Bruce noticed that Joker had yet to awake even though the machine had already been turned off.

"You have no idea the fright I had while you were under, Master Bruce, and I hope you need never find out." Alfred rambled in relief as he began detaching the helmet from his young Master's head.

"I'm sorry, Alfred, if I had known what would happen..." Bruce began only to be cut off by a half glare from the butler as Alfred bent to disconnect the Joker's helmet.

"You did not know, nor did they, everyone is fine now so just put it behind you." Alfred reassured his boy even as he looked down at the still figure of the Joker, wondering if he had spoken too soon.

The clown really should have woken up by now.

"Is he alright, Alfred? Why hasn't he woken up yet?" Alfred went to say he didn't know but stopped, Bruce had that vaguely blank look he sometimes had when he was having a private conversation with Batman.

"Oh!" Bruce chirped suddenly before flushing slightly and standing.

Making his way to Joker's cot Bruce sat down, gave Alfred a slightly embarrassed looked, cupped Joker's jaw and kissed the clown gently.

Surprisingly strong, white and spindly arms suddenly wrapped around him and pulled him into a much deeper kiss.

Alfred made a silent retreat after that, all too willing to let the happy couple- couples now?- have their peace. He was just glad that they had, all of them, worked their problems out and could now get on with things properly.

It would be nice to see his boy smiling again the butler mused as he entered his kitchen and began preparing a celebratory dinner he doubted anyone would take the time to eat.

Back down in the cave two men lay entwined together on a narrow cot, gently exploring each others mouths, unrushed and satisfied to just hold each other.

"Did Batsy tell you how to wake me?" Joker asked quietly once they broke for air.

"Yeah. He almost sounded amused, if you can believe that." They shared a laugh at that, both still amazed at everything they had so recently learned and agreed to.

Just as Joker decided to suggest they head upstairs for dinner- he wasn't exactly sure how long they had been under, but he was sure they has missed at least one meal time- the Batcomputer started chirping out an alarm.

"What now?" Bruce huffed out as he lay his head down on Joker's shoulder.

Joker went to comment but stooped as he realized that Bruce had already retreated and Batman had taken over- they were pressed so close together he had felt all the minor shifts in body posture that had come along with the change- and was touched that they would switch places just to keep him in the loop of their conversation.

"I set it for extreme emergencies only, so either the City is being held hostage by an alien force or someone has escaped Arkham." Batman stated as he levered himself off the cot and the Joker and strode over to sit at the computer.

Turning the alarm off he brought up the cause of the emergency: an ongoing police action that had started at Arkham.

"Looks like Quinn escaped... after writing a message in a guardsman's blood on her cell wall." He pulled up an image of Harley's cell and the message dripping wetly there:

WHERE'S MY PUDDIN'?!

Joker let out a groan even as he slumped against the back of Batman's chair.

"I've been meaning to go have a chat with her, I just hadn't found the time." He then let out a small laugh.

"What can I say? When I drive someone to dependent insanity they stay hooked!" Bruce chuckled a bit at that before turning to look up at his lover.

"I'm going to go to my room, sit this one out. Will you two be alright together?" And without me there to play chaperone? Bruce wanted to add but refrained from doing so, they had all reached a tenuous balance and he didn't want to be the first one to tip the scales.

"We'll be fine, love, Batsy and I will take care of Harls and be back before Alfie has dinner ready." Bruce gave a wide grin at that, pecked Joker on the lips and then retreated to his room; leaving an incredulous Batman in his wake with his lips pressed against the Joker's.

"You're not coming." Was all Batman said as he backed off and went to go put his suit on, refusing to be embarrassed over the new game Bruce seemed to have found enjoyment in.(ie: getting up close and personal with Joker and then dumping Batman in his place.)

"Come on, Bats! You and I both know that I'll be able to reign in Haley at LOT faster than you'd be able to, and with far fewer casualties too." Joker reasoned, and then topped it off with a set of big puppy dog eyes.

"Fine, you can come." Batman refused to admit, even to himself, that the puppy eyes were cute and so stalked determinedly away to don his suit so they could get on with it.

Returning minutes later in full Batman glory, Batman stopped as he saw Joker, now dressed to the nines in one of his signature purple suits, lounging next to the Batmobile.

"Where did you get that outfit from?" The caped crusader snapped. As far as he knew the Joker hadn't brought one of his suits with him when they came down here however long ago, nor had he had time to race upstairs to grab anything he might have had stashed away up there.

"Alfred brought it down, he probably went to fetch it when the alarm first sounded." Joker drawled out as he produced a deck of his personalized Joker cards and started shuffling them midair expertly.

"You know, I think the old man is starting to warm up to me." Batman let that pass without comment as he had a bigger, and more immediate, mystery to solve.

"And just why did you have one of your suits here and ready to go?" Batman growled out through gritted teeth as Joker began hiding his cards in hidden pockets all over himself, the vigilante was suddenly worried that everything up to this point had been an elaborate ruse and the Joker had had nefarious intentions all along.

But the Joker just smirked at him as he climbed into the passenger seat of the car.

"Bruce might have mentioned something about how... sexy he though I was in my 'criminal getup' as he called it." Fighting a blush at the mental images that that one sentence brought to mind, Batman climbed into the drivers seat and they took off.

"Can I drive next time?"

"No!"

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

"What have you all done with my Puddin'?!" Quinn shouted just before opening fire on the police line boxing her into the empty warehouse/old safe house she was in.

"Huh. You'da thought having the Joker disappear inta thin air woulda made things a bit more peaceful round here, wouldn't ya?" Sargent Bullock, the worst officer on the force and everyone knew it even him, asked as he sipped his coffee.

"Yeah, but nothing is ever that easy." Commissioner Gordon answered before bringing a megaphone up to his lips so he could address Quinn.

He then goggled like everyone else when it was snatched from his hand by none other than the Clown Prince of Crime himself.

"Harley Quinn! Get down here this instant!" Joker shouted into the amplifier, causing a feed back loop that had everyone wincing- which was his goal after all.

He was a changed man now that he had Bruce in his life, but that didn't mean he had to stop having fun all together.

"Puddin'?" Came the faint reply from the warehouse, and then the all could hear the noise of someone removing a barricade as fast as they could.

Tossing the megaphone back at the Commissioner, Joker crossed his arms and waited.

Gordon was the first to come out of his shock at seeing the Joker appear in their midst, but he quickly fell back into it as he realized that Batman was also there- standing only a few paces away from the clown- and that they seemed to be at ease with each other.

By the time anyone could even begin to start thinking of turning a weapon against the most feared clown in Gotham, Harley came rushing over and through herself into the Joker's arms with a sob.

"Mr. J! I was sooooo worriiieeeddd about yooouuuu!" Harley wailed into his chest as Joker patted her on the back, she then pulled back and looked at him.

"Where have you been?! No-one's seen ya in months! Ya haven't been hurt have ya?" She then spotted Batman standing nearby.

"YOU! What did you do to my Puddin'? Where have you been keeping him?!" Harley made to lunge at the vigilante, but came up short as Joker latched onto her collar and pulled her back.

"Now none of that, deary, Batsy here hasn't been making me stay anywhere that I haven't wanted to." Joker and Batman had agreed on a cover story during the drive over and now was the perfect moment to put it out there.

"What do'ya mean, Mr. J? Where have ya been all this time?" Quinn asked, and didn't notice all the ears turned to catch his answer to her question; but Joker did and answered for all to here.

"Harley, my dear, I have fallen in love with a man." All eyes swiveled to stare at Batman who blushed, and then blushed more in embarrassment that he had just blushed in public.

"Not him, you dolts!" Joker yelled at the assembled crowd of police officers and reporters- many had taken a chance and crept closer once the bullets stopped flying and now were either taking copious notes, getting photos or yelling at their camera men to get a better angle.

Turning back to Quinn, Joker wrapped an arm around her shoulders and began guiding her to a white van that had been resting at the outskirts of the action the whole time.

"Listen, darling, I know I should have told you this sooner, but I have decided to retire from the public eye and put down some roots." There is an audible gasp from the assembled crowed at this news and the Commissioner turned towards the Batman with a frown.

"You knew?" Gordon asked in what he thought was a whisper- several reports were close enough to hear though and turned their cameras and recorders on the two- and told himself he wasn't angry, really he wasn't, he was just a little peeved about being kept out of the loop.

Batman just nodded before explaining, just loud enough for everyone listening to him to hear.

"Arkham has never done anything for him but give him a vacation, but when he is with that boyfriend of his... he's a completely different person; and I don't mean he's just playacting either." Batman then turned and looked Gordon straight in the eye.

"I will, of course, be keeping a very close eye on him; for a very long time." Commissioner Gordon took in the serious expression on Batman's face, weighed it against all the lives Joker would ruin or take if they attempted to take him in and hold him against his will- Gordon was in no doubt that they had only ever caught the genius clown when HE decided he wanted to be caught- and gave a small nod.

He may not like it, but it was a far better- and far less deadly- solution than trying to contain the clown.

As this by-play was happening the Joker was still leading Quinn to the waiting van.

"B-but what about m-me?" Harley sniveled, looking like she would burst into tears at any moment.

"You and the weed get along, don't you?" Joker asked as he motioned the two frightened Arkham orderlies over.

"Ivy? Yeah, I guess so."

"Good! Why don't you ask her if she needs a sidekick? I'm sure you two would make a great team!" Quinn perked up at this, not even fighting as she was strapped into a straightjacket.

"Really? But... she's back at Arkham. I'd have'ta go back there to talk ta her."

"Then it's a good thing these fine gentlemen here are willing to give you a free ride, isn't it?" Quinn finally noticed that she'd been strapped up and was almost inside the paddy wagon.

The crowd held their breath, waiting for her to turn violent at this turn of events, but then were taken aback as she instead turned a blinding smile on her favorite clown.

"You sure do think of everything, don'cha Mr. J?" Patting Quinn on the head like the good little girl she had once been, Joker helped her into the van and went to close the door; but Harley stuck her head out before it could be fully closed.

"Mr. J, I just want to know something first: will I ever get to meet him? The man that made you want to give up crime, can I meet him someday?"

"One day, my dear, I promise; but not anytime soon. I don't want his life to become negatively impacted by being associated with me, you know." Happy with that answer, Quinn let herself be shut away.

The van took off for Arkham immediately and the Batmobile screeched to a halt right where it had been, the Joker climbed in next to the caped crusader no-one could remember se moving and they took off. The last thing any of the crowed heard from the duo was the Batman refusing to let the Joker take a turn behind the wheel.

"What just happened?" One of the younger officers on the force asked no-one in particular, but Gordon soon found himself with a half-dozen microphones in his face and that same question being repeated over and over.

He gave one statement to all of them before turning and leaving the scene:

"The Joker has decided to give love a chance and has given up his life of crime to do so. I just pray that nothing ever happens to his lover or we'll all be sorry."

)

AN.2: This chapter just kept going so I decided to cut it in half, the second half will be up soon though, I promise; and it will contain sexy times.

Batman is finally gonna get laid!