Author's Notes: I feel the need to make something very, very clear right now because people have been jumping to conclusions from the very beginning of this story (and I cannot respond to guest reviewers privately unfortunately) so here's the thing, it is not Emma or Regina who dies in this story (I took the warning off as it hasn't happened yet and won't for a handful more chapter yet) so dear readers, you can rest easy and try to at least enjoy the complex story that I am sharing with you :)
Regina returned to the hospital hours after she'd left, transporting herself home once she was inside the stairwell. Her emotions were on edge and staying there would've been dangerous, not just for herself, but also for anyone that came into contact with her. She needed to calm down and the only way she could do that was in the privacy of her own home.
It had been such a long time since she felt that fiery rage burning through her veins and it took a long hot shower for her to calm down just a little bit. After a change of clothes, she started cleaning around the house, finding it almost soothing in a sense. After a few hours, she felt calm enough to return to the hospital and instead of transporting herself there, she drove.
She found Whale in his office and spoke to him about Henry. He told her the same thing he'd told her after Henry had first gotten out of surgery and said that they'd keep an eye on him and if he proves to be stable and the pain is manageable, they'll release him in two days time.
Henry was awake when she entered his room and was not too surprised to find Snow and Neal in there visiting with him. She inhaled sharply and forced a smile as she shut the door behind her and braced herself for the inevitable leg hug the two year old always greeted her with.
"How are you feeling, Henry?"
"Okay, I guess. Considering," he shrugged a little. "Did you talk to Dr. Whale, Mom?"
"I did. He said two more days and only if the pain becomes manageable."
Regina noticed that Snow had brought along a handful of comic books and sugary junk food snacks for Henry that she scowled slightly at. Deciding not to make it an issue, she pulled up the other leather chair next to the bed and sat down.
"Manageable?" Snow asked, her voice laced with concern. "What does that mean?"
"Morphine," Regina said quietly as she made a subtle nod towards the IV machine. "I can only imagine the pain right now."
Henry groaned in an overly dramatic way. "I feel fine, Mom."
"I know you do, dear, but it's because you are receiving a rather healthy dose of pain medication on the regular right now along with a host of other medications."
"What kind of medications?" Snow asked and Regina had to fight to keep from rolling her eyes.
"Antibiotics and some others to keep infection from happening, and to help his body not reject the pins and rods he has in his arm," she replied and Henry groaned again quietly. "You know, you are very lucky, Henry. Your arm is very badly broken. You could've—"
"Lost it?" Henry asked, seemingly unfazed by the severity of his injury. Upon Regina's stern look, he frowned. "That bad, huh?"
"Yes, Henry, it's that bad and that is why you are staying here for a few more days."
"Okay," he frowned and with his uninjured hand, he fiddled with the stark white sheets on the bed next to his hip. "Where's Mom?"
"At the station," Snow answered quickly. "She and David are taking witness statements regarding the accident. I'm sure she'll come back as soon as they're done. She has been terribly worried about you, Henry. We all have been."
"It's just a broken arm," Henry muttered under his breath. "It's not like I'm dead or anything."
"Henry—"
"My friends are dead, Mom!" Henry almost yelled at her, but he kept his voice even because Neal was in the room and currently in the process of trying to climb up onto Regina's lap despite her none too subtle attempts at pushing the toddler away. "Dead! I'm not, but I got to live without them now. Do you know what that feels like?"
"I do."
"Do you?" Henry asked, his eyes filling with dangerous and very angry emotion as he stared right at her. "You've killed people before! You don't know what it is like!"
"That was a lifetime ago," Snow said as she came to Regina's defense without hesitation. "Who your mother is now is not who she used to be, Henry. She loves you so very much and that is all that should matter."
"I have lost many people I have cared about and not all by my own hand, Henry. Sometimes in life, you cannot have control over the things that happen. What happened yesterday was a tragedy no one could've seen coming. I know you are feeling many things at the moment and anger is one of them," Regina said calmly and she gave up on the two year old and allowed him to climb up into her lap. "Angry, confused, upset," she continued. "It is something all of us have experienced at one point or another and the very worst thing you can do is feel like it should have happened to you as well."
"Nick pushed me away when he saw the bus," Henry said quietly, turning his head away from Regina and Snow to look out the window. "I just remember going down hard and the squealing of tires, screams and then nothing but silence."
"Henry," Snow said softly before Regina herself could speak. "Do you think that maybe once you're out of the hospital that maybe you'd want to speak with Dr. Hopper about the accident?"
"I think that's a wonderful idea," Regina said with a small smile as Snow looked over at her. It'd been a thought she'd had earlier, especially since living through such a horrible tragedy would no doubt leave one in a distressed tangent. "Henry?"
"Whatever," he muttered and reached for the button to administer himself another dose of morphine. "I'm kind of tired. Can you guys come back later or something?"
"Of course," Regina said without hesitation. She let the toddler down on to the floor and leaned over as she stood up to kiss her son's forehead. "Do you want me to bring you something for dinner in a couple of hours, Henry?"
"Whatever they bring me is fine, you don't have to."
"I know I don't have to, I want to."
"Whatever is fine, I guess," he shrugged, his eyes already beginning to close as the morphine pumped through his body. "Maybe a cheeseburger."
Regina sighed and leaned over to kiss his forehead again before motioning to Snow to follow her out of the small room and into the hallway. Neal didn't want to leave, but after a quiet scolding from his mother, he pouted and allowed himself to be picked up without further fussing. Regina gently closed the door behind her and sighed as she turned to Snow.
"I'm worried about him," she said quietly. "Not only because he's injured, but for his mental state as well. I know he'll be unwilling to speak with Archie when the time comes and that is entirely my own fault for forcing him into therapy years ago."
"Maybe you can get Emma to talk to him about it?" Snow suggested. "Or maybe even David or myself can speak with him about going to Dr. Hopper. I'm worried about him too, Regina."
"I just feel like I am completely useless right now. I cannot help my own son recover from this tragedy and I do not want to risk a healing spell now that he has those pins and rods in his arm."
"What are you thinking?"
"Magic is not the answer," Regina sighed in spite of the thousand different thoughts she had rattling around in her mind of how to help Henry, how to heal him not just physically, but mentally as well. Regina ran her hands shakily through her hair. "He needs to talk to someone, maybe not Dr. Hopper, but he will need to talk to someone about what he lived through, and he will need to learn how to cope with the loss of his closest friends—his only friends."
"I know, Regina," Snow whispered and she placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, one that Regina did not pull away from. "Don't worry, Henry has a lot of people who love him and will help him through this trying time. We're all going to be there for him."
"I don't doubt that. I'm just—"
"Worried about him, I know. We all are. This is only just the beginning and I can tell you that it will not be easy, not for Henry, not for you or Emma, but you need to know that we're not only here for Henry, we're here for you too."
From the emotional look in Snow's eyes, Regina couldn't find it in herself to stop her before the shorter woman wrapped her arm around Regina while clutching onto her young son. Regina reluctantly hugged them both before shrugging herself out of Snow's tight embrace. Her eyes darted around the virtually empty hallway to make sure no one saw the former Evil Queen and Snow White share such a small yet intimate moment.
Regina smoothed down her black blazer jacket and smiled at Snow, words failing to come to her with all the swirling emotions inside of her. She ran a hand over Neal's soft, wavy blonde hair, just now noticing how much he looked like Emma.
It was all it took for those deeper emotions to resurface once again and she shook her head before turning on her heels and walking quickly down the hall towards the elevators. She was feeling on edge again and the trigger had been Emma's baby brother of all things this time around. It was preposterous and she knew she needed to find a way to stop herself from feeling the way she did when it came to Emma Swan.
Falling in love with Emma had not been something she'd intended, nor could've predicted when she had shown up on her front walkway to return their son so many years ago. Falling in love with Emma hadn't happened easily either, but it had happened and once she had come to that very realization, she knew that squeezing her out of her heart and her soul would be absolutely impossible. Falling in love wasn't supposed to hurt so much, but it did when it came to loving none other than Emma Swan.
Regina clenched her fists the entire elevator ride down to the lobby and she ignored the few friendly greetings from the people she passed by on her way out the front door. She had to fight the urge to transport herself to the privacy of her own home with being on the very verge of losing the fight against the anger and jealously swirling inside of her. She stormed across the parking lot to where she'd parked her car and she fumbled with her keys, giving up the second time she dropped them to the ground and magically unlocking the door with a simple flourish of her fingers.
She was unable to recall how many times since the news of the tragedy came, just how many times she wondered just how things would've played out if that bus had never crossed the town line. She'd had a romantic dinner planned and she was planning on showing Emma just what her intentions truly were before the evening was through.
Things were already complicated enough as it was between the two of them and now there were further complications standing in the way. She might have given up on finding her happy ending, but she hadn't given up on it completely. Her happy ending wasn't written in some storybook or left up to the fate of pixie dust that had failed her and gave her false hope. Her happy ending was in her own hands and it was up to her to find it, to grasp on to it and make it happen.
Her happy ending was Emma Swan.
[X]
Emma pinched the bridge of her nose as she stared down at the paper cup of coffee and stirred slowly, watching the creamer mix with the hot liquid slowly. Her head was pounding and she was beyond exhausted. Hours of taking witness statements had taken a toll, but between her and David, they'd talked to every passenger that had been on that bus and got their statements, ninety percent of them stating that one minute they were cruising down a winding, empty road, and the next was nothing but chaos as the driver slammed on the breaks and the bus slid out of control.
"Hey, we're done. Go home," David said gently from behind her. "Emma?"
"I'm fine, I just need some coffee."
"You've had a long day," he said softly, frowning when she shook her head. "You need to get some rest, Emma."
"I'm fine, David."
He sighed and ran his hand over his closely cropped hair. "There is nothing more we can do here, Emma. We have witness statements and the bus driver is in the cell where he belongs. I'll handle the paperwork we need to have to formally charge him with vehicular manslaughter."
"He'll get a year, or at least he would outside of this town," Emma said, her hands shaking as she picked up the paper cup of coffee. "You can't convict him for any longer, not on a first offense and not when you take into account that he crossed the town line. The outside world is a different place, David, and if this happened anywhere else—"
"It didn't happen anywhere else, it happened here," David stated and she laughed harshly. "We can convict this man. The parents of those boys who died because of this tragedy want justice."
"You don't understand," Emma snapped. "That man is not from the Enchanted Forest, you cannot convict him under the laws you and Snow have enforced in this town. I understand that the parents of those boys want justice and they deserve it, but in the real fucking world, that man would get a year, if that! If this was someone who resided here in town, it'd be a whole different story, but it's not!"
"Then what do you want to do?"
"We can charge him formally and I know that in some states there is a fine, but that is all we can do," she sighed and she sipped her already lukewarm coffee. "When are we going to replace that damn machine? It doesn't even run hot anymore!"
"Emma," David said as he gently placed both hands on her tense shoulders. "Go home and get some rest. Please?"
Emma downed her coffee and gasped softly as she crushed the paper cup in her hands. She did need to get some rest and she needed to clear her head, but going home would've provide any of that, not when she knew that Lily was there waiting for her. Just the fact that she knew it was pretty much inevitable that she'd have to tell Lily the truth about everything was making her head spin, her temples already throbbing as the dull headache settled in. The fact that that bus should've never been able to cross the town line created a host of problems in itself.
She knew how crazy it'd sound just telling her the story behind Storybrooke and the people that resided there, she'd been in the same boat before when her son had first found her. If Lily was staying with her and would be in town for a handful of days, it was inevitable that she tell her at least the very basics of the story itself.
"Emma?"
"I'm going," she sighed as she looked at her father. "Make sure those witnesses—"
"Don't leave town," David replied. "They won't be leaving. Not while this investigation is ongoing. We'll get through this as quickly as we can."
"What if they can't leave?"
"Because of the town line?" David asked and he shook his head. "They're not from here. I don't believe that it'll affect them the way it would affect any of us. They were all on their way somewhere else. There's no reason for them to stay here."
"But how were they even able to come here in the first place?"
"Emma, please go home and get some rest. We'll deal with this investigation and then we'll deal with finding the answers when we can," he sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You need to go home and get some sleep. I will handle things here, okay? Don't worry about Henry, either. He's in good hands at the hospital and your mother already said she'd stay with him tonight so he isn't alone. You and Regina both need to rest and I know you cannot do that staying at the hospital with your son."
"But—"
"Don't you have someone waiting for you?" David asked gently, smiling as he squeezed her shoulders in a reassuring manner. "Lily, isn't it?"
"I don't—she's not—she's just an old friend."
"Just a friend? A friend who you were kissing down at the hospital earlier?"
Emma couldn't meet his eyes, her cheeks burning as she turned to look away from her father. He had seen her kissing Lily in the hospital after all and she didn't have a solid answer as to why it had happened or why she had kissed the stunning brunette. Her parents, after her relationship with Hook had faltered and essentially ended, were always mentioning her finding someone new to date, to fall in love with, to find her own happy ending with. Her mother talked about it more often than he did, but she knew that David felt the same way, that he wanted her to find love and to have what he had with her mother.
It made her wonder how either of them would react if they only knew what had happened between her and Regina. She wondered how either of them would feel if they knew the deep feelings she had for Regina, feelings that rooted in love, feelings she was and wasn't ready to accept herself. While they had a good relationship with Regina now, there was no way that either of them would accept anything more than friendship between the two of them. It just made everything so much more complicated than it already was.
"Emma," David said softly, raising a hand to gently cup her cheek and tilted her head until she had no other choice but to look at him. "She's very beautiful," he smiled. "If there is something going on between you two, just know that I approve and that no, I am not going to tell your mother about her. I'll leave that up to you."
"There's nothing going on," Emma muttered. "Really. We just have a bit of history together and the only reason she was kissing me was because I offered her a place to stay while she's here in Storybrooke, nothing more."
"Are you certain?"
"No."
"Emma, I know that love comes in many forms and that it's not always in a way that we expect. If this woman, if Lily is here in Storybrooke now and back in your life, then maybe you should embrace the second chance you've been given with her."
"I never loved her," she said with a frown and stepped away from him slowly. "We were just kids. We had one night together years ago, that's all. I'm starting to wonder if offering her a place to stay while she's here was nothing but a mistake."
"I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I'm starting to wonder if there is more to the reason behind just why that bus was able to pass the town line."
"David—"
"There was someone on that bus that you know. Someone you have a history with. Perhaps someone who—"
"No," Emma said with a shake of her head. "We're not soul mates or destined to be together or whatever else you're thinking right now."
"It would only make sense seeing how that bus was able to—"
"David, I don't love her."
"That doesn't mean that you never will."
Emma frowned and shook her head. She didn't look at love the way her parents did and she knew that she never would, not when she'd gone most of her life without ever knowing what love truly felt like. It wasn't like she was actively searching to find love, to fall in love, but if she was honest with herself, she'd already fallen in love with someone and that someone was not the woman who was waiting for her at her apartment.
That someone was Regina Mills.
But it wasn't as if she was about to readily admit that to her own father.
Emma left the station without exchanging any more words with her father to continue their already awkward conversation that had taken a turn the moment he mentioned Lily. It was a short drive to her apartment and her hands were shaking as she let herself in and found Lily lounging on her couch and flipping through a magazine.
They shared a soft smile as Emma kicked the door shut behind her and she fidgeted with her hands for a moment before Lily rose from the couch and approached her. She diverted her eyes and noticed the suitcases sitting near her bedroom door and before she could say a word, Lily's lips captured her own in a kiss that mirrored the one they'd shared at the hospital. Like she had before, she didn't stop her at first and for some reason or another, she was searching for that very same feeling she'd felt when she kissed Regina.
And she felt nothing.
With a sympathetic smile, Emma broke away from the kiss and shook her head. She couldn't do this. She couldn't fall into whatever it was that Lily was pushing for to happen between them. She couldn't fall for her because she already knew her heart belonged to another whether she wanted it to or not.