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I don't think this chapter is as bad as the last one, but it could be. Um, yeah, here ya go.
From Logan we moved into Preston Idaho, and then on to Bellevue and Challis, before we ended up in Salmon. It seemed to me that the route we took through the country was based at random, James and Laurent choosing a direction and us sticking to it. Once we had reached Idaho we started to stay in places longer, the carnival lasting two weeks instead of one. The distance from Phoenix had let them stay in places longer.
By the time we reached Salmon, I had been a part of the carnival for two and half months.
I had been property for two.
The money we had attempted to save was gone, taken the night I was locked in the cupboard, something that happened more often now. They said that they were saving me for later. In truth they were waiting for Edward to rescue me. They were right in that and each time I received two new cuts. Eventually I told Edward that if he wanted to help me he should wait for me to return.
He didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening and we slept in different rooms. I didn't sleep at all and by the next morning I was sobbing into his shirt, begging him not to be angry.
Don't leave me.
He comforted me, telling me that I was right, that he was putting me in more danger. So the next time I was put in the cupboard Edward didn't come. I was still there when they retrieved me hours later and they, irritated that their game was over, cut me anyway. My arms were always bandaged, my misdemeanours becoming smaller and smaller.
I can do nothing right.
The day we arrived in Salmon was the day we ran out of food. I had put off asking for the food budget for weeks, instead putting us both on a diet of Pot Noodle. Breakfast had become a luxury, and we were quickly sharing a pot for each meal. Losing weight and being tired was the norm, a norm Edward had lived with for years. His brief respite into healthy food had been cut short by my cowardice.
I'm sorry that I'm selfish.
We spent the day setting out stall, taking more time than usual, making sure everything was perfect. I wanted no reason for them to be mad. Afterwards we went round every other stall and helped them. Our help was much appreciated and even though they could do nothing against the owners, almost all the workers liked us, and were always trying to help. But usually that help ended in punishment for me, so I declined it each time.
I'm sorry I can't take the blade.
We ended up together in the trailer, me boiling the water for our last Pot Noodle, waiting for it to be time to leave.
"Hey," Edward said coming out of his room. "It'll be okay." He took my hand in his calloused one. I wondered if my hands would ever be the same as his, or if they would be peppered in scars instead.
"Of course it will," I muttered caustically.
"I can always come with you," He offered.
"No," I answered immediately. I made the deal; I wasn't going to let him take a beating for me again. He shrugged, trying to pretend it didn't bother him.
"Besides, I need you live and kicking. Who else am I going to cuddle at night?" I said hastily, trying to move on to a more light hearted subject, gratified when his eyes lit up.
"That's me, your own personal teddy bear."
"And what a good teddy you are," I cooed.
"Of course," He murmured, backing me into the lone kitchen unit, his eyes never leaving mine. "Normal teddies don't want a kiss."
My eyes widened at his words. He wanted a kiss? What did that mean? I watched as his eyes darted to my lips, before he ghosted a kiss against them. My blush returned violently, cherishing the feel of his lips against mine and despairing that I would probably never be able to be with him fully. James and Laurent have made sure of that. But then Edward has never hurt me, he took care of me. He, dare I say it, liked me?
I giggled internally at my use of the word like. But what else could it be?
The kettle whistled and I turned to pour it out, willing my blush to die. It didn't work, and instead my cheeks stayed aflame as we both hunched over the small pot of food.
I glanced at the clock and saw it was time.
I hugged Edward goodbye, swearing to myself I would be strong enough to do what was necessary. By the time I arrived at their trailer my courage was dwindling, and my head was down as I was admitted. I stood in the middle as I had always done waiting for orders.
"Strip."
I did so mechanically, no longer embarrassed about showing my body. It was a commodity, a bargaining chip, nothing more. I felt James stand behind me, his hand groping my ass.
"Don't you have something to ask us?" he breathed in my ear, his arm sneaking round to hold me to him.
"Please can I have the food budget?" I whispered.
"We've been waiting for you to ask, little pet." Laurent stroked my cheek "We had something planned and you ruined it. So what will you do instead?"
"What do you want?" I asked just as quiet as before. It was a dangerous question, but I didn't know how else to reply.
"Many things, little pet, many things." James chuckled against my neck. "Touch yourself."
I startled in his arms, unsure what he meant.
"I-I don't-" Laurent grabbed my hand and put it there.
"Stroke yourself," He demanded. I complied hesitantly, feeling so ashamed. It was the first time I had done something like this, ever, and it was disgusting to be seen by these two with my fingers there.
I listened as their breathing became laboured, and James' hands started to wander to my breasts, squeezing them roughly.
I imagined it was someone else, anyone else, doing this to me, closing me eyes as I viewed my faceless lover. My body started to react, a wetness dampening my fingers. My eyes flew open when I felt James rubbing against my ass, Laurent watching avidly.
"Put two fingers in."
It hurt!
My body wasn't ready for such an invasion and I flinched.
"You're not ready yet," Laurent chuckled. I shuddered in fear at his words.
"Little whore." James whispered in my ear, mistaking it for something else. I shook my head frantically, my fingers still inside me.
"But you are." He continued. "You give us a show and we pay you."
Laurent watched my hand before moving it and replacing it with his own. He stroked me roughly before withdrawing, examining his finger before sucking it.
"You got wet." He told me with a smile. "You are a whore." James' hands squeezed me harder, making me gasp in pain.
"Shall we make you a proper one?" James asked me, licking my neck and shoulder, making me squirm and him to moan.
"Not yet," Laurent halted him. "We don't want to break her as quickly as we did the other girl. And there is a matter of punishment."
My stomach twisted as Laurent slashed my arm. James watched me bleed hungrily, whispering "soon" in my ear.
Laurent tossed my clothes at me, telling me to dress. I did so quickly, staining them in the process.
All my clothes were stained now.
Laurent pressed some money in my hand and pushed me from the trailer.
I stumbled home to Edward, who opened the door as soon as he saw me coming. We fell back into out old routine, him bandaging my arm gently and holding me as I cried.
We lay in his bed, my fists scrunched in his shirt. My teddy.
"Tell me something happy," I wished, half expecting him to say nothing.
"During summers I would go to my Aunt's and Uncle's. Carlisle was a Doctor and Esme was an architect. They were busy, but they were always there for their kids. I was always a little bit jealous of Emmett and Jasper for that. But every summer it was as if I was a part of the family permanently, Em would prank me and Jasper and I would argue. I always had fun, experiencing what a real family was like." He paused "What about you and Alice?"
"I would tell her stories," I whispered. "Tell her all about two sisters waiting to be saved by Princes, before realising that if they wanted rescue they had to do it themselves. I told her about how they bargained with mythical creatures, before falling in love with two Princes who whisk them away into a happy ever after."
It was silent for a moment, before his chest began to vibrate with his voice.
"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Bella, who was forced to work in the kitchens…" I fell asleep to the sound of velvet, never finding out if Princess Bella ever found her Prince.
And whether he saved her from the dragon.
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