Ding Dong
Caroline looked up from the boxes she was unpacking, her brows drawn together in question at who could be ringing her doorbell. They had met all the neighbors and she was pretty sure it was too early for salesmen to be calling as they usually showed up after 5 o'clock when most people came home from their jobs.
Caroline stood up and headed towards the front door.
Ding Dong
"I'm coming!" Caroline called out.
Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong
"I'm coming damn it!" Caroline cursed under her breath knowing it was probably Klaus at the front door who was ringing the doorbell like a child playing a prank just to annoy her.
Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong
Caroline didn't even bother to look out the window at the side of the door before she ripped the door open.
"What the hell - " Caroline started in a demanding voice.
"Hello darling." Kol said with a mischievous smile.
Caroline's eyes went wide with shock, clasping her hand over her mouth as her jaw fell to the floor.
"Oh my God Kol! What are you doing here!?"
Kol lifted up a bag of catalogs and another bag with what looked to be samples of lotions. "Selling Avon of course."
"Are you out of your mind?!" Caroline all but screeched, cognizant that they were in full view of the neighbors.
"Rebeka seems to think so. Nik on occasion. Elijah has abstained from answering, the wanker and Finn is convinced that I am in full capacity of my mental facilities and I only act this way to annoy them as a good littler brother should." He said as he swung the bag of lotions around.
"You are going to blow our cover!" Caroline hissed, looking up and down the street hoping there were no neighbors to witness this fiasco.
"Oh don't worry so much, darling. I have that covered." Waving his hand like it was nothing. "I have already been to every house on this side of the block."
Caroline started making a choking noise.
"Your next door neighbor Marcus or Melvin or whatever loved the rosemary mint lotion sample I gave him. Pretty sure he is going to be placing an order for a full sized bottle. It is our best seller after all" Kol said with a knowing nod.
"Since when did you start selling Avon?"
"Jenna sells it, she was nice enough to lend me her samples and books. I have to say I am very good at it, I think I might change careers. In no time I will be sporting a pink cadillac." Kol said with a satisfied smirk.
"That's Mary Kay you dope."
Kol frowned at that.
And as if things could get any worse, Klaus was pulling into the driveway.
Caroline groaned and hurried over to him, as soon as he was out of the SUV her arms were around his neck and she pressed her lips against his in a hard kiss before whispering into his ear.
"Kol is an Avon salesman. Keep it cool and do not make a scene."
Caroline could feel Klaus tense his entire body, his temper close to snapping as he glared at his younger brother over Caroline's shoulder. Caroline had thought the intimate contact would distract him enough not to pull anything stupid but since it looked like Klaus was very far away from keeping it cool she resorted to other measures. Pulling out of his arms she took his hand and twisted it at the wrist, causing a considerable amount of pain while simultaneously making it look like they were holding hands. That got Klaus' attention.
"Bloody hell woman! Let go" Klaus growled as he tried to pull his hand free, his glare now focused on his 'wife'.
"I will just as soon as you promise me you are going to be cool about the Avon salesman." Caroline said, emphasizing the last part by twisting his wrist that much harder.
"Alright! Christ! Let go!" Klaus said as he tugged at his hand and Caroline finally let go. Klaus pulled his hand to his chest and rubbed at his wrist. Caroline was hugging him once more to hide what he was doing and nipped hard at his ear. "You are being stupid, Mikaelson."
Klaus immediately dropped his hand and put his arms around her, squeezing the breath right out of her and making her squeek and her bones ache. "Apologies, love, it seems anger make me a bit irrational."
He didn't sound one bit sorry.
Oh man, she was going to let him have it once they were alone.
Caroline glared at Klaus and he glared right back as he released her and put his arm around her shoulders in a painful grip and dragged her across the lawn towards Kol who was watching the two of them with a huge grin while swinging around his bag of Avon samples.
"Use the sidewalk damn it!" Caroline growled as she pushed him towards the sidewalk, but Klaus was having none of it. Because of that little martial arts move she did on his wrist, which was still aching like the devil, he was not very happy with her and if walking on the grass was going to annoy her, then by God they were going to walk on the grass.
The couple came to a stop before Kol, Klaus barely holding on to his temper, took his anger out on Caroline, his hand squeezing her shoulder so hard it was going to leave a bruising imprint on her skin. Caroline retaliated by looping an arm around his waist and digging her nails into his side. Klaus grimaced a bit, but other than that, he didn't let up on his hold of her.
"Kol, I am going to rip out your liver and make it into pate and stuff it down your throat until you choke to death." Klaus growled in a low voice, so that only Caroline and Kol could hear him.
'That's not a bad threat' look came over Caroline's face, impressed with Klaus' imagination. Kol however, wasn't phased whatsoever at the threat because he had heard it all before. He was the youngest brother who had spent his entire life annoying the older ones and still had the time to harass his sister in between.
"You know dear brother, Avon has a spa line of products that will really help relax you. You are going to have a heart attack before 40 if you keep letting your temper get the best of you." Kol said while handing him a booklet.
Klaus crushed the booklet in his hand while Caroline put both arms around him to keep him from going after his brother.
"Ok, number one, stop baiting him. And number two do you even know what undercover means Kol?" Caroline hissed furiously, squeezing her arms around Klaus, taking some of her anger out on him, because she was on edge of going after Kol herself and snapping him in two.
"Of course I know what undercover means. I used to be an expose journalist. One time I had to go undercover as a male stripper for my article about how male strippers get more harassment from patrons than female strippers do. I have to say, it was my finest piece." Kol said with a nod.
Caroline looked dumbfounded while Klaus remained unphased having heard it before and was still in the mindset of dissecting his little brother.
"You were a male stripper?" Caroline asked incredulously.
"Only for a month. I had to go the stripper route because I needed the females to act naturally. I couldn't go in as someone who was interested in men, because the women might change their behavior seeing that there was another male in the room who might call them out on their behavior." Kol explained knowingly.
"My theme was baseball. I didn't know why I had to have a theme at all. Someone at the club told me it is because even when a man is naked, women want to know he has a job. My 'job' was a baseball player and my introduction was 'With his big bat and ability to get to third base with the ladies, playing left field for the Chicago White Sox: Kol.' I would keep my baseball hat and my cleats on, but everything else was tear away."
Caroline blinked. "Seriously?"
"The ladies loved it. I will give you one of my promotional pictures and you will see why. The ladies loved me even more when they found out I had an accent, I got extra in tips because of that. I made quite the little fortune while stripping. Made more money than journalism, that is for sure. So much money I even thought of giving it up and becoming a full time stripper. But writing is my passion in life, and I chose to do what I love." Sagely Kol nodded his head, as if the whole experience had been a spiritual journey rather than just research for an article he was writing.
Caroline was squinting as Kol, trying to process everything he had just said, Klaus was still giving Kol the death glare.
"Tried to talk Nik into doing it with with me. He could be a stripping police officer since he's already got the gear for it seeing how he is a cop and all. Officer Nik Sexy, or just Officer Sexy. And with the accent he could have made a fortune."
Caroline felt her body heat up at the thought of Klaus stripping out of his police uniform. It also didn't help her labido that Klaus was pressed up against her.
"Kol, why in bloody hell are you here?" Klaus growled out, his grip tightening on Caroline's shoulder wishing it was his brother's throat, the pain of it bringing Caroline back to the here and now as well as her annoyance with both Mikaelson brothers.
"It's boring at the station without the two of you." Kol said simply. They waited for him to say more, but it soon became obvious that there was nothing more coming in way of an explanation.
"That's it? You put our undercover assignment in jeopardy because you were bored?!" Caroline said in a strangled voice, her temper having snapped and she made a lunge at Kol. Luckily, Klaus had just enough of a reign on his temper to grab her and wrap her up in his arms, keeping Caroline tightly against him.
"I am going to strangle him." Caroline declared. "Let me go!"
"Now who is being stupid, sweetheart?" Klaus said in her ear as he held onto her as she struggled to get out of his arms.
Caroline settled down at his words, but she still had a scorching glare for Kol and made herself a promise that the next time she saw him she was going to kill him.
"See what a great idea this was? I haven't been this entertained in weeks." Kol said with a grin. As he had enjoyed every second of his time since the moment Caroline opened the front door.
Both Caroline and Klaus shot Kol a look that promised that they were no longer going to restrain each other and he was going to be in a world of hurt if he didn't leave soon.
"Well, I will leave you with these samples." Kol took two lotion bottles out of the bag and was going to hand them to Klaus and Caroline, but thought better of it and set them down on the ground.
Kol smirked at the two of them, wrapped up in each others arms, especially knowing how much they hate eachother. Ah, such good times.
Giving them a jaunty wave, he started whistling as he cut across the grass to the next house over, keeping up with his pretense of being an Avon salesman.
Caroline and Klaus both stayed outside watching Kol, both refusing to let the other go for fear one of them would bolt and take Kol down, neighbors or not.
And just put the finishing touch on the day, the gray skies that had been threatening rain all day finally opened up and drenched the two of them in a matter of minutes. Both of them refusing to move because they wanted to make sure Kol left the neighborhood, keeping an eye on him as he ran to his car down the street.
Across the way Marcel saw his two new neighbors standing out in the rain and opened up the window and called out to them. "Hey, Carrie, Nick - are you guys locked out?"
Caroline pulled it together enough to turn and with a forced smile she waved to Marcel.
"No, we can get in."
Marcel brows drew together in confusion and even though it wasn't polite to ask, and he was from the south after all, he just couldn't help himself from asking.
"Why are the two of you standing in the rain?"
Caroline scrambled to come up with an answer and was coming up blank, but luckily Klaus had also pulled it together enough to provide an answer.
"We miss London."
Now Marcel was even more confused. "You miss London?"
"Yes. Rains there all the time. The rain reminds of home." Klaus squeezed Caroline in what looked to be an affectionate hug. Caroline nodded her head at Klaus' answer and hugged him back.
Marcel nodded his head yes, as if the explanation made sense but the look on his face said that he thought they were out of their minds, and shut his window.