Disbanded

Where was the Grand Cleric? She had guarded Anders while he set up his magical contraption. She had made sure that it was well hidden when she left. She had gotten five Chanters out – that been interesting, trying to come up with excuses for each of them. But the Grand Cleric did not deserve to die! All she had ever done was try to keep the mages and Templars from slaughtering each other.

Freyja jogged down the stairs into the main entry of the Chantry and looked questioningly at the front doors. Maybe the Grand Cleric was already outside? Either way, the building was about to be blown sky-high and, as much as she wanted to preserve sanity, the woman also wanted to save her own skin. Resolved, she slipped out through the massive doors and discovered a crowd forming below. Among the people amassing were Hawke, Anders, Fenris, and the other companions. She approached cautiously as the Knight-Commander and head mage argued, and shrunk into the shadows when it appeared that they might head her way.

"You will not bring her Grace into this!" Meridith barked. That was when Anders appeared from the crowd. Freyja had one last thought of regret before deciding finally to stand by him. This stalemate had to end. Anders understood. She was a killer and had even been abandoned by her own people. Someone had to do this; why not them – the misfits?

"The Grand Cleric cannot help you!"

"Explain yourself, mage!"

"I will not stand by and watch you treat all mages like criminals, while those who would lead us bow to their Templar jailors!"

Orsino growled defensively.

"How dare you speak to me –!"

"The Circle has failed us, Orsino." Justice burst to life for a moment as Anders' anger grew. "Even you should be able to see that. The time has come to act." The apostate looked vaguely back at Freyja with regret. "There can be no half measures."

"Anders…" Hawke looked at his friend in shock. "What have you done?"

"There can be no turning back."

As Freyja glanced at the Chantry, she saw Hawke's look of realization and betrayal. The ground shook for a few seconds before a demonic red light burst from every seam and window, shooting blinding rays into the sky and towards the watchers in the square. Gigantic chunks of stone were torn from the foundations and spiraled upward as the pinnacle of light drew the clouds and rock into a vast, glowing vortex. The roar of sound ceased in a blink of pure silence. Then, it happened. The blast sent a deafening shockwave through the city, and the Chantry was no more.

The odd collection of spectators was staring at the destruction in horror of the coming repercussions. The Chantry stood for order and peace in the Free Marches. The Grand Cleric had been the one who held the leashes of the Templars and mages, and kept them from each other's throats. No more. Despite the terror of everyone else, Anders remained stalwart, and no one had yet guessed Freyja's involvement.

"There can be no peace."

"Why?" Orsino cried, turning angrily on the rebel. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"I removed the chance of compromise because there is no compromise."

"The Grand Cleric has been slain by magic," Meredith sneered, her righteous, overzealous blood boiling. "The Chantry destroyed! As Knight-Commander of Kirkwall, I hereby invoke the Right of Annulment. Every mage in the Circle is to be executed. Immediately!"

"The Circle didn't even do this," Orsino protested now that his life was on the line. "Champion, you can't let her! Help us stop this madness!"

"And I demand you stand with us! Even you must see that this outrage cannot be tolerated!"

While the other companions voiced their own opinions, the female rogue looked sadly at her partner-in-crime. Especially now, she could see how Justice's anger had taken over. He refused to look Hawke in the eyes and clearly was upset about hurting him, but there was no guilt.

"Was that…why you needed me to distract the Grand Cleric?" Hawke asked in disgust.

"If you knew what I was doing, you would have felt honor-bound to stop me. I couldn't take that chance." Freyja shifted uncomfortably and then stopped when she noticed Fenris' eyes on her. Did he suspect? The churning pit in her stomach was back. "The Circle is an injustice, in many places beyond Kirkwall. The world needs to see."

"You fool!" Orsino interjected again. "You've doomed us all!"

"We were already doomed. A quick death now or a slow one later – I'd rather die fighting."

"You're a murderer." Freyja could feel her cheeks reddening as Hawke stared down Anders. She was responsible too, even if she didn't plant the bomb. She knew the cause was good and part of her didn't care that people died to get the result – she was an assassin, after all – but seeing the wrath of the people who had adopted her into their awkward family made her queasy. "The Grand Cleric, the mages…their blood is on your hands!"

"I know."

"Anders," Freyja whispered when the attention was directed to more debate. The mage stiffly turned his head in her direction. It took more effort than she cared to admit to not slip into the shadows and disappear forever. By even considering helping Anders in this, she had proven herself unworthy of the respect given by her friends – that, more than the deaths, gnawed at her insides like a cancer. Her old life taught her deception and survival – perhaps it had left more of a scar than she thought. Their brief moment of eye contact allowed for enough of her emotions to be conveyed. She had spent a lifetime fighting against her raging anger and fear that always seemed to follow her.

But then, Fenris spoke. The hate in his voice, while not directed at her, made Freyja's heart shrivel. He wouldn't understand why she did this. Why did she do this? Out of friendship for Anders? Because she felt she was beyond redemption? Anders needed a companion in this venture, and she was the most logical choice – she had nothing to lose.

"No. I won't fight to save these mages…not for you, not for anyone."

Those words cut unexpectedly deep. But what had she expected? A line had suddenly formed between those standing with the mages and those against. Freyja, having not moved throughout this debate, found herself standing across from her broody elf. Not for anyone. He had meant her. That was the reminder – she really did have nothing to lose. Hardening herself, Freyja looked straight into Fenris' stony eyes before he walked away and they were attacked.

As the woman whipped out her daggers to block a Templar's attack, she glanced one last time at her old friend's retreating back. Yet again abandoned. Why had she even tried?

Freyja dove between the giant man's legs, sliced his calves, and stabbed him in the back of the neck under his helmet when he fell to his knees. She swiftly rolled to the side, yanking her knife with her as a second Templar's sword whooshed by where her head had just been one second ago. When she stood, a blast of frost rushed by within inches of her face and turned the Templar into a tower of ice; next thing, Hawke shattered him with a single swing. She looked behind her to find a stoic Anders. She didn't know what to think.

All of the Templars that had been left to finish them off were strewn about on the ground, lifeless. Freyja wiped off the blood that had splattered on her nose and looked doubtfully at Orsino's grief.

"So it's come to this. I don't know if we can win this war, Champion, but…thank you." He then scowled at Anders, who had taken up residence on an out-of-the-way crate with a distant gaze. "I will leave your…friend for you to deal with. I must return to the Gallows. Meet me there as soon as you can."

Back to being the center of attention, he didn't need to look at anyone to know they were angry as he offered his defense.

"There's nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself. I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice all mages have awaited."

"Did that spirit tell you to do this?" Hawke spat.

"No. When we merged, he ceased to be. We are one now. I can no more ignore the injustice of the Circle than he could."

"I might have understood if you'd only told me."

"I wanted to tell you. But what if you stopped me? Or worse, what if you wanted to help? I couldn't let you do that. The world needs to see this. Then we can all stop pretending the Circle is a solution."

"So you start a massacre to prove a point?"

"I'm not proving a point. I'm changing a world. You've never been part of a Circle. I have. The people fear what we can do, but to use that fear to bludgeon us into submission is wrong! And they do it with our blessing! And if I pay for that with my life…then I pay. Perhaps then Justice would at least be free."

"Opinions?"

"Bold plan," Isabela admitted. "Well, I thought so."

Everyone else gave their various opinions until it came to Freyja…

"Freyja? Thoughts?" She once more stared after where Fenris had departed. She had stood by this mage and her oldest friend was now standing with the Templars. Hawke assumed that this was all that was on her mind.

"Whatever you do, just do it," begged Anders. What would she do if Hawke actually decided to kill the mage?

"Just go."

The harshness of Hawke's command cut into Freyja's heart with unexpected malice. She considered him – and all the others – the closest thing she had to a friend in…far too long.

"Thank you for my life. I'll try not to make such a mess of it this time."

This was it. With a set jaw, Freyja stepped to follow her chosen companion in exile.

"Freyja." Hawke's summons stopped her in her tracks, where she stood rigidly. "You – you helped him?"

"Hawke, I'm…sorry. I thought I could change things, but…I have demons of my own. I didn't deserve my own family; I don't deserve this one."

Freyja slowly turned back, her eyes flickering from one remaining companion to another. They all looked shocked that she was making this decision. They knew that she and Anders were close friends, but she hadn't been closer to him compared to anyone else. They couldn't understand.

"He needs my help," she said simply. "And, no matter how this conflict ends, this company will not long last. Hawke, thank you for everything."

Not knowing how she would react to whatever Hawke was going to say next, she bolted away.

Even as they ran around the next bend, Freyja stopped dead in her tracks, squatting down as nausea overtook her.

"Freyja, are you all right?" Anders came back to her, placing a calming hand on her back. "We did what we had to do."

"No," she growled through barred teeth, "you did what you had to do. I… I'm an assassin; killing does not bother me, but to see the looks on their faces was…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize this bothered you so much."

"No! Justice didn't care."

"You saved people."

"I also helped to slaughter dozens of innocents! And Fenris…" She brushed off his hand and stood. "I'm going to him."

Anders chuckled darkly.

"An angry Fenris is not a forgiving. He'll likely run you through before he knows it's you. And, if he doesn't kill you, the Knight-Commander will certainly do the job, once she finds out you helped me."

"That's what I'm hoping for."

This time, his hold on her arm was firm.

"You're not serious, are you?! You knew what you were doing when you agreed to help me."

"Did I? All I think about is how I can best survive – it has been drilled into me for longer than I care to admit. I'm able to detach myself from things in a way that even I don't understand. Fenris use to give me someone to think about other than myself, but then…"

"You got too close and I suddenly gave you a way out?"

"What have I done? I didn't want to change the world, Anders. I just wanted… I want things to be simple again."

"Freyja, by doing this, we are forcing mages and Templars to face each other. The oppression will be over." More gently, he continued. "As for Fenris, he walked away from you with the full knowledge that you might killed by one of the Templars back there. He turned his back on you. If I understood correctly, that's not the first time he abandoned you." Freyja stared with an unspoken threat. "Has he ever done anything as selfless for you as you have done for him?"

"That is completely irrelevant."

"Is it? He seems to me more of an animal than a man. Has he ever thought through anything? Is he really deserving of such loyalty?" All the lives. Freyja stared at nothing, suddenly recalling Fenris' intense eyes and the touch of his lips. And the look of betrayal. "Is he? You tried to save him from a fate worse than death on countless occasions, after he did nothing to earn it. He does not deserve you offering your life to him now. There is a darkness inside of him that will never let him see beyond his anger and fear. Deep down, he'll always be a slave."

The rogue was glaring daggers.

"Anders… I have that same darkness inside me. How can I make you understand? The suffering of the Mages of this Circle was nothing compared to what we suffered. Fenris is the only who knows. We were each other's sanctuary during those years, and I turned my back on him."

"Are you saying that you should have fought with the Templars?"

"No! I just wish I had never agreed to help you. The more I think about it…" She pointed an accusing finger at him, hot tears threatening to fall. "I betrayed my best friend for your cause, mage. You owe me! He was my companion-at-arms for half of my life and I…" She bowed her head in defeat. How had she not thought this through? This was why she had only ever had loyalty to Fenris. He conflicted so much with the rest of the world; one additional loyalty on her part ruined everything. "I've lost him, but my nature is to survive – to shut everything out and just do what I have to do. I use to have him to protect – someone other than myself. All I ever do alone is survive."

Freyja unexpectedly found herself leaning into her friend's embrace. His coat smelled like smoke, blood, and sweat, but there was still a hint of his calming musk.

"You think you're the only ones with darkness? I'm bound with a spirit and just instigated a war by destroying a Chantry. You're not alone, Freyja. Don't forget that."