Title: Angelus Erroneous
Author: Spike
Chapter: Ten
And so that was how I became acquainted with this useless imbecile of a Rogue Trader. And how he managed to start hanging around me.
Much against my will.
Still it's not all bad news: He's really at his most efficient in the battle field, picking off the Orks with his lasgun and keeping my back covered.
However I could do without him constantly yelling at me whenever a plan fails.
Usually due to me making the sudden decision to do things my way.
And bickering over to distribute all the plundered loot.
But in the end I can't complain.
Too much
I could fill him with lead any time I wanted to but the only thing that stopped me was the fact that he was a human. And any human company is welcome.
Particularly when one is stranded on an Ork world far beyond the reaches of the Imperium.
Still it made me wonder: If another human had arrived here, would any more follow in his wake?
It seemed unlikely: If the odds of a second human turning up on this planet could be best described as slim, then what are the odds of a third?
Of course, little did I know that that day the answer to that question would be answered.
But not in the most ideal way….
The day after encountering the Orks certainly began in a typical way: It was just another day of evading the greenskins, attacking them with guerrilla tactics, scavenging for anything we could use, covering up any evidence of our presence and doing whatever it takes to stay alive.
Yes, just another day.
But who would've guessed that what began like any other would turn out to be something completely different….
At that stage, I had no idea how long I had been travelling with the Rogue Trader. Each day seemed no different than the last and I certainly saw little point in keeping tally of the passing weeks and months.
It would be a likely assumption that time had become irrelevant since I had accepted the fate that I was stranded on this miserable rock and there was nothing I could do about it.
But the more likely answer was that the passage of time seemed to go on much longer within the company of Xerxes.
And so, yet again, I found myself wandering through across the surface of the planet, my head having the discomfort of receiving every word of nonsense that the Rogue Trader dared to utter.
Presently, we were both traversing through one of the more raised areas of the planet. We were both moving through a rocky outcrop that was tall enough to challenge to top of the tree-tops and offer a degree of vision above and beyond the jungle (even if the view was pretty much greenery, with a handful of mountains, as far as the eye could see). Below us was an enormous clearing which was also home to large lake.
At the moment Xerxes was telling me how he managed to pull off a daring rescue which had him saving tonnes of valuable supples from a horde of Tyranids.
"…..So picture this: I was surrounded by termagants, all of them bearing down at me at an extraordinary rate…."
You would think that having him aware of me knowing that he was a liar would be enough to shut him up. But having been stuck with this asshole for so long, I am far from convinced that nothing in the universe would make him cram it.
"…I had no where to run, nowhere to hide and the only weapon I had at my disposal was a laspistol. So I was left with little options except for calmly loaded my pistol and blasting those evolved abominations into next week!"
Still I had to give him credit – at least he understood the importance of keeping quiet when the Orks entered the general vicinity.
"….Within a manner of seconds, I had downed several of the bastards but they still kept coming…"
So far, whenever he heard that there were Orks nearby he would immediately shut up, ready his weapon and abide to the importance of silence in fighting under the rules of guerrilla warfare.
"………I fired bolt after bolt, until my pistol ran red-hot in my hand…."
But in that sense, it kind of makes me wish that more Ork patrols came our way.
Still, considering the current rate at how motor-mouth is going, it shouldn't take a lot before more Ork patrols rear their ugly faces in order to investigate.
"….the termagants still thundered forward – by now they had all gathered in a huge mass that swarm around me…."
Of course, I couldn't just say that we were under attack. Shutting Xerxes up was easy but keeping him that way was another matter entirely. If I interrupted his 'thrilling stories' by stating that we were encountering some Orks, he would therefore expect to see them within minutes. Should no Orks appear then his mind will grow bored and he'll immediately return to spinning his ridiculous story.
Unfortunately, as he was interrupted, he'll most likely return to the beginning and tell the whole thing again.
Only this time with completely different things happening.
"….So the situation grew to the point where I was relying on to the frag grenades that I had attached to my belt. I threw at the termagants one after the after in quick succession…."
I raised an eyebrow – funny, I thought he had no other weapon. Yet as with all the other 'thrilling stories' that the Rogue Trader had previously come up with, Xerxes had become so immersed with his own story that he now showed a blatant disregard to the facts previously established. Either he was making this up as he went or he was droning on and on simply because he loved the sound of his voice.
"…..Eventually it got to the point were several of them had got within several feet of me so I reached behind my back and drew my trusty power sword. I then charged into battle severing limbs left and right, driven by the determination of not letting those blasted Tyranids get within a foot of my precious cargo"
Or most likely both.
"….And so I fought, hatred burning within my veins as I downed one termagant after another, and building a massive hill of corpses in the process…."
I mentally cursed. How much longer do I have to put with this idiot rattling on?
Dammit, I wish something would come along that would take his mind of his incredibly inane stories.
Famous last words.
For at that moment, my ears pitched up the sound of a high pitched whine.
My brow furrowed. I hadn't heard anything like it since I had landed here.
It seemed distant at first but the more I grew towards this noise, the more I found myself identifying what it could've been.
My pace came to an immediate halt and my eyes widened in disbelief.
No. It wasn't possible.
The odds of something like this happening were so against my favour that it this occurrence couldn't possibly be happening!
Yet the more I grew towards the sound, my ears could detect where was coming from.
Xerxes noticed the change in my behaviour and quickly forget all about his preposterous story. He looked at me with a concerned gaze.
"What's the matter old man?" he asked.
"Can you hear that sound?" I asked.
"Hear what?"
"I swear it was the sound of a plasma engine roaring!"
To this Xerxes burst out laughing.
"That's ridiculous!" he chuckled. "If anything, I'd say you must be hearing things! You've been on this planet for too long!"
"I'm not hearing things dammit!" I retorted "I tell you, I heard something that sounded very much like an Imperial ship!"
"Yes and I'm the son of an Ogyrn" he retorted.
This comment made my pause – was this declaration another one of his lies or did it have an element of truth to it? In the end I guess I shouldn't really surprised if it turned out to be fact
Seeing the change of my expression, Xerxes must've guessed what I was thinking for he then let out a sigh of exasperation
"What you're suggesting is just absurd!" the Rogue Trader argued "If neither you nor myself have been on this planet for so long, without the knowledge of the Imperium then what are the chances of us being found right here and now!?"
I blinked at his all too sceptical gaze – but only for an all-too brief moment. For it didn't take me long before I caught sight of something.
Xerxes fixed me with a hardened gaze, his exasperated eyes revealing that he expected an answer.
"Do you honestly think that an Imperial ship would appear out of the blue simply like that!?" he growled, the scepticism written all over his face,
But I didn't pay any attention to him whatsoever. Looking past the Rogue Trader's shoulder I noticed a small speck emerge on the horizon.
However it didn't long since seeing the speck that it grew larger and larger with each passing nanosecond.
My brow furrowed.
Xerxes then realised I wasn't paying any attention to him and his expression grew even more exasperated.
"What's wrong now?" he demanded irritably.
"Uh…Xerxes?" I said "I think you may want to consider diving for your life…."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?"
Suddenly the Rogue Trader paused – his facial expression growing with disbelief.
"I don't believe it!" Xerxes exclaimed "That sound….. You were right! There is a sound about and it sounds remarkably like an Imperial plasma engine!"
"You sure took long enough to detect it!" I snapped, nodding in his direction.
The Rogue Trader spun around to see something that resembled a small Imperial shuttle come roaring towards him at a rapid rate.
Xerxes screamed with terror as the shuttle loomed above him. And, the space of a split second, he dived out of the way and into safety.
I promptly did the same.
Next Chapter
Back to Angelus Erroneous
Back to Bibliography