Time frame: 18 weeks
"Thank you again for bringing me along," Rebecca chirped as she and Riza walked into the store that had been their destination.
"No need to thank me," Riza replied as she adjusted the strap of her purse. "It was almost as if you invited yourself."
Rebecca laughed and waved her comment off as she began to rummage through the sales rack nearest her. "Well, someone had to get you out of the house," she countered as she pulled a floral patterned dress off of the rack and held it up for Riza to see. When the blonde sniper shook her head and gestured to her neck, her friend nodded in understanding, replacing the item. "How much time do you have left until you're back?"
"Just a few more days," Riza admitted. "And they can't come fast enough; I'm starting to go stir-crazy."
"Which is why I dragged you outside," Rebecca confirmed. "You needed to get out of the house stat."
"You've certainly got that right," Riza murmured as she pulled a collared button up shirt from the clothes in front of them and draped it over her arm.
"So… how are you and the hubby," Rebecca asked as she looked away from the clothes rack to curiously raise a brow toward her friend.
With a small smile, Riza replied, "Good… More than good. He's been nothing but helpful these past few weeks.
With a quiet 'hmph,' Rebecca said, "Well he should be after suspending you like that."
Riza shook her head. "I don't blame him for that at all, Rebecca. After all, I did run out into the field despite my condition."
"Very true," Rebecca replied as she pulled out a green shirt for Riza to see. When the blonde shook her head in dismissal, the brunette reracked it and added, "I'm just giving you a hard time."
"Speaking of a giving a hard time, how are you and Havoc?"
Scoffing, Rebecca muttered, "Oh, I'm still giving him a hard time that's for sure."
"I noticed when we went out to dinner a few weeks ago," Riza pointed out with a light chuckle as she draped a purple shirt over her arm.
"Oh," Rebecca replied dramatically as she turned toward Riza and held out her hand for Riza to see, "He'll keep getting a hard time until he puts a damn ring on this hand."
Shaking her head, Riza said, "I wouldn't expect any less from you, Rebecca."
"Damn straight," her friend responded determinedly as she turned her attention back to the rack of clothes and began to browse it again.
After another light laugh, Riza turned her attention to the sales rack and began to browse along it. When she had collected enough shirts to satisfy her attending friend, she ventured back to the one of the dressing rooms and closed herself inside of it.
After shrugging off her jacket, Riza pulled her shirt over her head and dropped it on the small stand provided. But just as she was about to reach over and take one of the shirts off the hanger, she paused, eyeing her stomach as if it were the first time she saw it. To be honest, it wasn't something she ever sat and looked at for an extended amount of time. It was something she knew was there; a life-
"I'm just going to look around some more for you while you try those on, okay," Rebecca called from outside the changing room door.
"Oh! Alright," Riza replied, nearly forgetting that Rebecca had even been there. When she heard her friend's footsteps disappear, she resumed looking down at her stomach in the mirror, turning slightly to appreciate its size. It was definitely noticeable now… She really couldn't have gone much longer without shopping for more fitting clothes.
But the longer she stared, the more she felt her heart swell… but not in the happiest of senses. At that very moment, there was a small life inside of her, something that she and Roy had conceived; something that would change their lives forever. She swallowed thickly as her mind continued to process it.
The realization and doubt suddenly hit her full force. She was going to be a mother…
But how could she, a seasoned killer and perfectly combed soldier possibly take care of such a fragile and significant life? Realizing that her hands were shaking, she raised them up to look at them.
She couldn't do this. She didn't have what it took…
Quickly throwing her shirt back over her head and slipping her pants on, barely able to button them together, she unlatched the door and made a brisk escape. But just as she was about to slip out the front door, a sudden and firm grip on her arm pulled her back. "Hey Ri, where do you think you're-" The instant Riza turned around, however, Rebecca's playful tone slipped away. "Riza… What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she lied as she twisted her arm from her friend's grasp. Quickly turning and pushing the door open, she tossed over her shoulder, "I just need some fresh air." Ignoring Rebecca's cry of protest, Riza turned the corner and down into an alleyway. Leaning heavily against the wall, she took a deep breath of air and bowed her head before her friend managed to catch up to her.
Putting her hands on both of Riza's shoulders, Rebecca quietly demanded, "I know something's wrong, Ri; so spill it." When Riza opted not to answer and kept her head down, the black-haired woman changed her tone, making it more firm. "Riza Hawkeye," she commanded, "You tell me what this is all about."
After a few moments, Riza finally muttered, "I don't think I can do it…"
"What," Rebecca asked in disbelief.
"You heard me," she replied as she looked up at her friend with tired eyes. "I don't think I can do it."
The color draining from her face, Rebecca quietly asked, "Ri, you're not thinking of-"
"Of course not," Riza answered, her voice a little louder than she intended. Feeling herself weaken, she again said, "I would never needlessly take another life. No…"
She heard Rebecca sigh with relief as the dark-haired woman pulled her into a surprise hug. "Good," she muttered as she guided Riza's head to her shoulder. "For a moment I thought you meant that…"
Riza rolled her head side to side on her friend's shoulder before drawing away, her actions asking Rebecca to let her go. When she obeyed, Riza took a step back and folded her arms across her chest.
"Now," Rebecca continued, "Tell me what this is about."
Shrugging her shoulders up and down, Riza admitted, "I don't know. I was just struck with this realization and… And I just don't know if I'd be a good enough mother."
Furrowing her brows, Rebecca asked, "What do you mean by that?"
Casting her glance downward, Riza muttered, "You know what I said, Rebecca."
"What do you mean by that," Rebecca pressed as she tried to catch Riza's eye, not giving in to her friend's feeble attempt at brushing her off.
With a defeated huff, Riza took another step back, positioning herself against the wall of the building. Looking Rebecca in the eye, her own eyes brimming, she exclaimed, "What right do I have to bring a life into this world after taking so many from it?!"
"Oh, Ri," Rebecca replied as she placed her hands on Riza's shoulders again. "Is that what you're worried about?"
Looking down and away from her friend, Riza nodded her head in dejection.
Letting loose a small sigh, Rebecca took her friend into her arms once more, guiding her head to her shoulder with one hand. "Ri, I'm not going to tell you whether it's right or not, because that isn't something I have a right to talk about. What I can say, though, is that you can make sure that child grows up to be happy and without worry. Be the mother I know you can be, Ri, and raise it in a world where it never has to worry about the chance of being asked to take a life. The very least you can do is give it the world you and Roy are striving to create.
"Be that break in the chain, Riza, by being the best damn mother you can be."
Shaking her head slightly, Riza's muffled response was, "How do you know I'll even be able to handle that?"
With a light chuckle, Rebecca answered, "I'll be honest, Ri. I don't know if you'll be able to handle it, at the beginning anyways. But I know you and I know Roy, and I'm confident that the two of you will be just fine. And besides, you have your team, the Elrics, me…
"I can guarantee that you two will be alright." When Riza sighed tiredly in response, Rebecca stepped out of their embrace to look into her friend's red-rimmed eyes, seeing that any wetness that had been there was gone. After determining that there likely wouldn't be anymore, she raised her brows and asked, "Are you feeling better?"
Reaching up with the sleeve of her coat and wiping her eyes, Riza murmured, "Slightly."
"Slightly is better than nothing," Rebecca replied. "Do you want to go home? Maybe talk some more and try again another day?"
After taking another breath and exhaling to relieve herself of any other emotions that might unexpectedly rise up, Riza shook her head. "No… I have to do this today." Nodding down toward her belt line, she muttered, "If I wait a day longer the buttons on these jeans are going to pop off."
"Alright we'll try this again, but this time I want you to tell me if you have any more doubts." When Riza looked up at her and in the eye, Rebecca tilted her head and gave her a light smile, "So that we can work through this… together."
A/N: This chapter was incredibly hard for me to write for whatever reason (and was angsty too ;_;), but I hope I conveyed her doubt enough while also not dismissing Ishval (hence the reason why Rebecca did not tell Riza 'oh, it's okay because blah blah blah' since Ishval can't really be dismissed…) But if anyone has any issues, thought it was rushed, etc. please let me know!
The next one will be fluffier (either with Edward and Roy interacting, or another fluffy Roy/Riza one!). I'm slowly working through everyone's requests ^_^
Again, thank you for the reviews, favorites, and follows! They truly mean so much to me and I honestly appreciate it :)