A quick update, as promised
Nick called Fin to ask him what exactly was going on. He was surprised to hear the name Garry Ernest but he remembered him very well.
Nick was going through a rough time back then, Maria had just told him she was getting married. He had known she was dating someone and Zara seemed to like him, but Nick couldn't. He couldn't stand the thought of someone else raising his little girl, watching her grow up, being there for her.
It was Nick's job, he was supposed to be there and protect her.
So when Emily's father first came in and told him about his suspicions, that Garry Ernest hurt his daughter, Nick didn't doubt his story for a second. On the contrary, he believed him right away.
So did Olivia.
In hindsight they should have seen through his story, the holes, his body language when he mentioned Garry. But back then they saw it as him being a father.
There were no evidence so all they could do was interview everyone over and over. Liv talked to the girl alone, she had the sense she's been hiding something. Emily was almost six and Olivia was afraid her stepfather could have made her promise to keep quiet.
When Nick and Fin interviewed Garry for the first time Nick was ready to get a confession from him, whatever it takes, but he tried the 'good cop' approach first. It failed, since the man said he loved the girl like she was his own and would never lay a finger on her. Nick's tactic was getting more and more aggressive as the days went by. He didn't hit him, though he wanted to. After that Olivia decided Nick should stay out of the interrogation room and she took his place. She tried to talk to him alone, hoping it would make him feel more in charge and he would slip, but he stuck to his story.
The mother denied everything as well, insisting the Garry was a good man and would never hurt the girl, she refused to let a doctor examine her for a long time.
Unlike Nick and Olivia, Fin wasn't sure the stepfather was guilty, he shared his feelings with Olivia who told him she hoped he was right, but they had to make sure.
After a lot of persuading Catherine Ernest agreed to let a doctor examine Emily. There were no evidence that anyone has ever molested or hurt her.
They had to drop it.
In the room Garry Ernest told Amanda almost the same story, how Benson told him it will be easier on him if he confessed, about what they might to do him in prison, asked whether he even cares about the little girl?
"I loved her so much" he said "I would never hurt her, Cathy's ex husband made it all up, he wanted me gone. You know they didn't ever press charges against him? Because they had no proof he only wanted to hurt me. But I know him"
"Cathy had changed after that" he continued after taking a few breaths, never lowering the gun or taking his eyes off Amanda "she said that she believed me, but I could tell something was going on with her, it was subtle and slow, the way she lost faith in me and in herself. She got paranoid, stayed awake right here" they were in Emily's room "watched her while she slept. I tried to talk to her, help her, begged her to get help, she was convinced somebody would come in and do something, her ex-husband, some random guy. She kept Emily at home, not letting her go anywhere without her, quit her job, didn't let her go to school. I tried to support her, not to judge, so she would listen to me and get help, she refused and I lost her. She lost herself, took the little girl for ice cream and they never came back. The officer told me it was an accident but I knew, and they found out themselves. She just couldn't take it"
The room wasn't dark and Amanda could see him clearly. The pain was visible in each gesture he made, in each feature, his eyes were blue but dark, he wasn't over 40 but looked like a very old man.
"I'm so sorry for what you and your family went through" she spoke after he was done with his story "but it won't bring them back"
"It will bring her pain, she's the boss, no? She decided to go at me, when we all told her the truth she chose to believe the lies. I should have killed him, to show her how it feels"
"But you couldn't, you couldn't hurt a little boy because you are a good person, a good person who's been forced into a terrible situation. You could have hurt him, but you chose not to, you wouldn't hurt a child"
He smiled bitterly but didn't say anything, the hand holding the gun was steady.
"This won't bring them back"
"Maybe it's time for me to join them then, you tell her it was all her fault"
"Don't!" Amanda could tell he was about to point it on himself "this is not what Cathy and Emily would want, they would want you to remember how they were before, how happy you all were together. I can see how much joy was in this house, and I can see how far away it all seems now. If you shoot, no one will remember them, no one will love them like you do. You staying here will keep their memory alive, you can't let the last reminder of them be an article, hurting the sergeant isn't going to bring them back, or help you feel better, all you can do is remember"
He had tears in his eyes and Amanda thought it could be her only chance. She lowered her gun and walked towards him slowly, not to startle him. It was only a few steps but she was now standing in front of him and the gun.
Many thoughts could have been running through her head at that moment, all the scenarios, all of her own memories of similar situations. But Amanda focused on this moment. Her head was clear.
"Give me the gun, we will walk out of here, we can't change the past but you still have the good parts of it"
They looked into each others eyes, and she quickly placed her gun in its place so she would be able to take Garry's gun.
"It's ok" she said as took it. He let the tears go and she looked at him for a moment as he cried "it's ok" she felt so much pity towards him, he did something terrible, there was no excuse for that, but she couldn't imagine what he's been going through.
Amanda let him cry, she stood there, knowing she has to arrest him, but she gave him time to cry and say goodbye to the room.
Garry looked around, sat on the bed and whispered "I'm sorry, I love you" he stood up and wiped his face. Without saying another word he turned around and let her cuff him.
Nick and Fin reached the house at the same time. There was an ambulance near by and Nick could see Murphy talking to another officer. He looked around, hoping to see Amanda but she was nowhere to be found.
"What's going on?" Nick turned to Fin but he was clueless as well. Fin walked to Murphy to get an update. Nick was about to do the same when he heard his name.
Nick searched for the origin of the voice and saw Carisi, he was playing with Noah on the other side of the street.
Nick ran towards them "what's going on?"
"Well" Carisi smiled at the kid "I'm here playing with Noah, he's okay, right buddy?" the boy giggled in response.
Nick felt relieved to see Noah was safe, but where was Amanda?
"Rollins?" he asked.
"Inside" Carisi's voice was still playful, not wanting to worry the child. He was concerned about Amanda as well, so he decided to take Noah a little further away from all the commission, but not to leave until this is over. He knew Amanda could handle it.
Nick and Carisi looked back at the house when they heard noises, Nick rushed over there and watched as Amanda walked out of the front door with Garry. He was cuffed and Amanda seemed fine. Murphy guided Garry into one of the cars and ordered an officer to take him to the station for booking.
"You alright Rollins?" he asked her.
"Yeah, I'm good" she nodded.
"Good job, everyone's safe" Murphy called the paramedics and told them to leave. It was just a precaution.
Carisi walked towards them with Noah in his arms.
"Fin, Amaro" Murphy looked at the detectives "you two take him to the hospital. Carisi, take Rollins to the station" he turned to her "I need you to fill a statement"
"Sure" she nodded.
Carisi handed the boy to Fin and he walked towards the car. Nick walked after them.
"Let's go" Carisi turned to Amanda.
When Nick reached the car he turned around to look at Amanda, she was safe, that was the only thing he could think of. She raised her eyes and met his. Suddenly he couldn't stay away, he had to be closer to her. Amanda got into the car and Nick walked over there as fast as he could.
"Carisi" he said "go with Fin"
"What?" the other detective was confused.
"Go with Fin, I need to get to the station"
"O…k" Carisi wasn't sure what was going on but he nodded and walked away.
Nick sat down in the driver's sit "hey" he looked at Amanda.
"Hi" she seemed a bit surprised to see him since Murphy ordered Carisi to take her to the station, she was still upset about their argument earlier.
Nick drove off, there were so many things he wanted to say but a crime scene wasn't the place for that conversation.
They drove in silence until Nick parked the car. She reached for the handle to open the door.
"Amanda" she stopped moving and turned to look at him, he looked concerned, like he had a lot on his mind.
"I need to say something" he started.