Disclaimer- I do not own The Outsiders
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee- Edgar Allen Poe
It was the first time she had come home to Tulsa since Maggie had died. The airport was crowded with people milling and moving around everywhere she turned. Her stomach lurched as she webbled and wobbled. Sherry felt suddenly tired and she wondered if this had been a bad idea after all. She closed her eyes and exhaled. It was too late now.
She looked around for a payphone, not wanting to simply spring herself on her husband by showing up at Steve or Darry's in a cab. She could not even recall the name of the street Steve lived on, Ponyboy always sent the letters with no return address. Sherry rummaged through her purse for her address book and then walked towards the only empty payphone near the terminal.
She stuck a few coins into the slot wondering who she should call. She could call her folks, but they hadn't talked since Maggie died, choosing to ignore her like when she had married Ponyboy, as if she were to blame for her own daughter's death. Maybe she was.. Sherry shook off the thought and rummaged through the address book. She turned to the third page. and then dialed 918-573-4892 and waited. The phone rang, once, twice, three times. Sherry drummed her fingers against the silver of the small, metal phone cubical. Maybe he wasn't home yet, maybe...
"Howdy, Mathews residence. how can I be helping you today."
Sherry stifled a laugh. Somethings, at least, would never change.
"Keith, it's me Sherry..."
"Sherry?" he sounded shocked. 'Are you okay?" though he refused to talk to Ponyboy over much of the past two years, more out of concern than anger, he had kept in constant contact with her. He was always calling her, to check on the both of them, full of advice, just as Darry had been.
"I'm gonna ring the kid's neck, acting that way. You ought to take Darry's advice and leave him awhile, snap him to his senses. He ain't ever gonna get his life together if we keep coddling him. You got to think of yourself..."
Sherry winced as the baby kicked her in the side. "I'm fine. I'm actually at the airport..."
'Don't tell me you got yourself on a plane, Sherry you got be what, seven months along..." He sounded concerned and incredulous. She smiled. He'd always been a good friend.
"Steve said Ponyboy's having his six months. I wanna be there. I thought..." She paused. What exactly had she been thinking? She'd just show up and he'd wanna come home with her, just drop everything and things would be back to normal again. She bit her lip.
Keith laughed. "You thought you'd surprise him. Kid's going to be in for a shock that's for sure." He paused for a moment and returned to talking, this time much more serious. "The kid misses you something awful. You should see him, moping around like a little puppy."
Sherry removed her hands from the cubicle and fiddled with her hair. "he could have come home anytime. it's not like i told him to leave."
"Na," Keith drawled, "but you left, same thing. He's so afraid of hurting you again. that he'd rather keep his distance. Won't say it of course , you know how stubborn he can be, being a Curtis and all, but I'd bet anything that's what it is. Kid needs a good swift kick in the pants."
Sherry laughed inspite of herself. "I suppose you also think i'm just the one to do it to."
'Well," Keith said amused, "you know what they say about red-heads.." Sherry felt her face flush with warmth. yep, same old Keith.
"I'm aware," she said. Behind her a well dressed man cleared his throat. Sherry held out one finger, just a minute more. 'Listen Keith, I've got to go. Do you think you can pick me up. I'm at Tulsa International, near terminal eight."
"Sure thing, just let me get Jason to watch Kimmy, if I can get him away from the boob tube, and I'll be right there."
"Thanks Keith, you're the best.'
"Aw shucks, you're making me blush."
Sherry rolled her eyes. 'Alright, I'll see you in a few then," she said, hanging up and heading for the bathroom and then towards the exit.
She sighed as she walked to the outside entrance, nothing in hand except the purse on her shoulder. Her back and feet ached something fierce and she found she needed to pee again. her stomach rumbled with hunger. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, hoping that Keith would soon be there. If he didn't, she might found herself reboarding the plane to go right back home again.
Before she could have a chance to turn around, a car horn beeped and she jumped. The black Camaro screeched to a halt and Keith Mathews stepped out, grinning. Tall and a little stockier than he had been the last time she had seen him, he still had his famous side burns, though his hair had begun to recede, and sported a rather auburn mustache. He grinned and drew Sherry into a warm hug.
'umph."
He sat her down. "Geeze, you've put on weight. You'd think you were pregnant or something." She didn't know whether to smack him or laugh.
"You're a riot, you know that?" Sherry asked. "I don't see how Kathy puts up with you."
Keith grinned and helped her into the car. "It must be my glowing personality and rugged good looks."
Sherry rolled her eyes. "Must be."
Keith got in the car and they drove off, leaving the airport behind them.
"Kid really does miss you," he said as they pulled up to a red light near the edge of the city limits. "He's never been so good at saying these things but I can tell. " Sherry sighed. her gut wrenched and she was not sure if it was because of the baby or the fact that she too, missed her husband terribly.
Keith pulled off when the light turned green and the engine roared. He strummed the steering wheel. "he is doing better these days though. Ain't touched a drink and he put some weight on. You know Judy and Darry. Biggest pair of mother hens I ever saw in my life. Never can leave their house hungry." He said. Of course he forgot to mention that he had been eating them out of house and home himself for the past twenty years, whenever he came round to visit.
'And it's a good thing too," he continued. 'You know Steve ain't never been able to cook and if you don't tell Ponyboy to eat anything but chocolate..."
"He won't..." Sherry finished. her husband could eat like an actual horse for days on end and then get so wrapped up in whatever he was doing that he would forget about getting any food to eat, except for the chocolate candy he kept at his desk. It had been worse the past two years. He didn't even bother with the chocolate and among many other things, that was what had worried her.
Keith laughed. 'yep. You know good old Sodapop used to say if they made a chocolate cigarette, the kid would have it made. Shame he ain't kicked that habit too." The baby kicked and the baby lurched before she could respond to what Keith had said. She felt green.
"You okay Sherry?" he asked, and she nodded. Even though she wasn't. Everything below hurt like it was on fire.
"I'm fine," she said wearily. "I'm just a little tired from the flight is all," she lied.
"You sure you're okay to go to the meeting tonight?'
Sherry nodded, though in reality she was not all too sure.
She waited in the back of the meeting hall, hidden from view from her husband and his friends. Only Keith knew she was there and he wasn't telling.
"I want it to be a surprise," She told Keith, as he dropped her off early, albeit reluctantly. "If he sees me too soon, he might bolt. you know he would. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to scare him off.
Keith ran a hand through his thinning hair. He grimaced. "I don't know Sherry, it don't seem right. You not feeling good and all..."
She forced a smile. "It'll be fine. It's just for a couple of hours or so. I'll go across the street and get a snack or something. I'm a grown woman, I think I'm pretty capable of taking care of myself."
He gritted his teeth. "Well if you're sure."
Sherry nodded. "I am." She gave him a quick hug. "Now shoo, before anyone suspects."
"Alright.."
She waved Keith off. Her stomach clenched again, cramping and pulling. Sherry bit her lips. It was nothing, she told herself. Just nerves, or false labour pains. She'd had them enough with Maggie. It was fine things were fine, just fine...
The first three members of the AA had given their speeches. Sherry waited with baited breath, every orifice of her body riving in agony, her heart fluttering. She wondered what she would feel when he finally hit the stage, if she was this nervous now.
There was not much time to think about though, because there was, parting though the crowd and stepping to the podium. Keith was right; he had put on some weight. His shaggy hair was no longer dull and lifeless, and it had been cut. His clothes were neat and pressed. All he wore was a pair of blue jeans, a white t- shirt and a man's dress jacket, but he looked so handsome then; even with his faded running shoes on.
Sherry felt her throat go dry. This was the man she had married, handsome and healthy and whole." She lowered her gaze, hoping he didn't see her as he made it to the podem. He fiddled with the mike and Sherry was sure his palms were sweating. He never did like speaking in front of crowds...
The mike echoed and she winced.
'Um, hi," her husband said, "My name is Ponyboy..."
There was a roar of laughter and Sherry watched her husband grimace. She smiled.
'What's your name?"
"Ponyboy Curtis" his face flushed.
"That's an original and lovely name." Sherry replied.
He seemed to perk up then, grinning. "My dad was an original person," he said smugly, "I've got a brother named Sodapop. it even says so on his birth certificate."
The laughter died down and he continued. "My name's Ponyboy Curtis and I'm an alcoholic." he paused and Sherry could tell, he was nervous."Yesterday marks six months sober for me."
The room filled with clapping. Sherry watched as her husband's cheeks turned red. She smiled. proud of him, but it turned to a grimace when she felt the pains again. Even so, she watched as he continued. They would pass, they always did with Maggie.
"I had my first drink when I was thirteen, got a little drunk and decided ironically enough, that I didn't much like it. go figure." he licked his lips. "That was just after my folks were killed in a car wreck. Guess you could say death tends to follow me around. Lost my best friend not long after that and then my brother in Nam. things got pretty rough but I never really hit the bottle until about two and half years ago."
He clutched the podium and Sherry felt her eyes water. She knew what was coming. her husband closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sherry could see the tears pulling.
"My wife and I, we," his hands and shoulders were shaking. 'we lost our little girl, Maggie." his breath hitched. "Meningitis," he said, "She was only four. We left her with a sitter while we went on business and we got this call. She was in the hospital. Not much longer and she was gone. My little girl..."
He let out another shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair. Sherry could tell he was crying, she was too.
"After that, everything seemed to go to hell. I just couldn't cope. That bottle started looking pretty good and soon I was spending more time with the bottle than with my wife. "Some days, I couldn't even take care of myself., couldn't get out of bed. Sherry did everything for me and I treated her like crap, yelled at her, beat her once." He shuddered.
"I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that," he said, "wouldn't blame her if she didn't either."
Sherry closed her eyes and clenched her fist. she took a deep breath, trying to will away the pain. Of course she forgave him.
"I guess you can say shit hit the fan about six months ago. She told me she was pregnant and I just couldn't deal. I said some pretty awful things to her, ran out and got trashed. I came home and we fought. I shoved her a little harder than I meant too. She left me and it was probably the smartest thing she ever did. Gave me time to think. When she came home a few days later I'd called a buddy of mine. He checked me into a center here and I haven't seen her since."
Sherry closed her eyes and listened as he went on.
"Getting sober again was the hardest thing I've ever done and I still don't know if I can keep it up. At first, all I could think about was how much i wanted another drink. Then maybe I wouldn't have to think about what a shitty husband I was or how I wasn't sure I even wanted to be a dad again or if I even knew how. I'm still not..."
Sherry felt her heart lurch.
"My friend, the one that died. His dad was an alcoholic too. Used to beat him with a two by four, yell and scream at him, make him feel less than worthless. Another friend, his dad was one too. Never had a kind word to say, kept throwing him out. Always was apologizing for the shitty way he treat'em. Nobody deserves that. And then with Maggie... I don't know if I'll ever be ready to be a dad again, or a husband. Don't even know if I should even get that chance..."
He sighed. "but I wanted to get sober for them... For my wife and the baby, but especially for my little girl. I hate to think of her looking down on me and wondering what happened to daddy. Why is he such a screw up? You know..."
Ponyboy shuddered again and left the podium. the room burst with applause. Sherry could see Darry and the rest of the adult members of their much blended family upfront, clapping wildly and she smiled, waiting for the meeting to end so she could go up and see him, knowing Keith would be distracting the rest of them.
She waited, in baited breath, loins stills on fire, and goosebumps crawling up and down her spine. Finally, the meeting was over. People began to disperse, to mingle and talk in their own little groups.
Sherry eased up from her chair, nearly collapsing again from the effort and headed toward the exit, where she knew her husband would be headed for a smoke.
And sure enough, that's where he was. He was fumbling for a packet that she could see hanging out of his back jeans pocket. Sherry licked her lips. It was now or never.
"Ponyboy!" she called. He whipped around, frozen. His face pailed and he dropped the pack of cigarettes to the ground. His eyes scanned her up and down in disbelief, stopping to stare at her swollen belly. His finger twitched and he gulped.
"Sherry..."
She forced a smile through the pain. "Hey handsome."
"What, what are.. I mean." He sounded completely flustered.
"Don't be mad," she begged, "Steve told me, i guess he's just so proud of you, you know. He wanted me to know and I've missed you so much." Hot tears fell down her cheek. "And I just had to come.. I.." Now it would seem that she was flustered.
Neither moved for a second then Ponyboy lowered his gaze. 'I, you shouldn't have come." He said flatly.
Sherry stepped forward, clutching her pregnant belly. She bit her lip. "I know," she laughed sadly for fear if she didn't she would sob. Maybe it came out that way anyway. She really didn't care. "but I'd never forgive myself if I didn't. I miss you."
His shoulders shook but he didn't say a word.
She tilted her head, letting out a sob. "a letter with some cash now and then don't cut it. it's too quiet without you. Come home Pony just come home."
"Sherry I..." he never got to finish that sentence.
Sherry yelped as another pain spasm hit her body, more terrible than before. She could barely breathe and her pants were thick with blood. The room span and she felt dizzy. She fell to the floor.
"Sherry, Sherry." her husband called, rushing to her side. Sherry felt suddenly cold, the room span faster and faster as the pain came on faster and faster. She found it hard to breathe as cold terror hit her.
Ponyboy grabbed her hand. 'Sherry," he called. "Cherry..." he said finally, using the old nickname, but she could no longer hear him as the room went dark and she passed out. The room grew still and silent as everyone turned to see what had happened. You might have heard a pin drop were it not for one man's frantic screams. "Not again."