The Scars of Your Love Ch 10
"And I know...I know that this is not the same at all, but I do know how it feels to keep a part of yourself shut off, to keep it I know how lonely that can make you feel. But Alex, you are not alone.
"I can't do this without you."
"No, you don't have to."
Alex and Kara Danvers
Earth 38 (2 days ago)
The sand is cold and wet and the wind is whipping around her but Lena does not care as she stretches out her legs, knowing that the waves will eventually reach her. The sound of the surf crashing onto the shore almost hypnotic though she can pick up Alex's slow approach towards her. Maybe she has a gift after all, some superhuman sensory focus that's only attuned to Danvers' and Luthors'. Or maybe she's just finally accepted that she'll never have her sight back and has to fully rely on all her other senses in order to make her own way in the world now.
"I bet it's beautiful here." Her words almost floating away on the wind but Alex hears her anyway as she settles down next to her friend. The concept of friendship not foreign though the last really good friend she had was Vicki and that had turned out so badly because she had been blind to her own feelings. And Maggie was a friend too though she hopes that she has not fully decimated that particular friendship and there was still an opportunity for salvage.
At least this time, she knows that she truly cares for Lena but her heart belongs to Maggie and she just needs to tell her that, the next time she sees the detective. While she's terrified of the rejection, she knows she has to take the chance and even if Maggie may not feel the same way she just needs to finally be true to herself. "It is..." She glances at Lena's side profile, acknowledging that she was a very beautiful woman and Kara was one lucky girl. "Though I'm betting that my little sister would really not be looking at the view if she were here right now."
She sees Lena smile, a wisp of one really but at least it's there. The thought of Kara always making her feel like she could do anything or almost anything. The longing in her voice unmistakable, "I miss her even if we haven't been together for more than those few hours. I miss her so much. You must think I sound crazy." Her voice going soft at the end as if she does not want confirmation of that fact from Alex.
"If that makes you crazy, I'm almost afraid of what you think of me considering that I haven't even told Maggie how I feel and I'm missing her so much, it actually hurts." She bumps her shoulder against Lena's, the commiseration between them just cementing their bond further.
Lena knows that she won't ask Alex for anything more. That the woman sitting next to her had already sacrificed so much, like Kara and like her dad. She wants to help end all of it for them and on her terms. She knows exactly what her brother and mother were capable of and that Lillian would never stop in her quest to destroy everything unless she did something. "Yeah...at least It'll all be over soon." Alex picks up on her tone immediately and it throws her because its resigned and nowhere near the hopeful slant she had held onto for the past two months.
If anything, it was Alex that had nearly given up those first few weeks. The toll of cutting herself off from the DEO and not getting anywhere with finding her father. It had made her just a bit more reckless when Lillian sent her out on missions but Lena had been there to support her. Taking care of her injuries and reminding her of their shared mission. So hearing her sound like she's finally given up makes her want to help Lena more than ever. "Lena, I promise.."
"No." Lena's voice is firm as she cuts Alex off, "Kara expects you to be alive and I will not let her down." She's finally come to terms with her own destiny. Knowing that she can end the Luthor line and that Lillian will want to finish her off herself. She just needs to ensure that when the time comes, she let's Lillian get as close to her as possible. Without her sight, meant that she needed to risk it all in order to redeem their sins and hopefully survive it.
She stands up slowly dusting the sand away and breathing in the salty air, her hand outstretched as she waits patiently for Alex to take it. The strong grasp giving her more comfort than any hug Lillian ever bestowed on her. "We need to rest, we have a big day tomorrow."
Earth 38 (The present)
Kara focuses on the sound of Alex breathing through the comms. She remembers curling up with Alex in those first few years she had been on earth, just focusing on hearing her big sister draw air into her lungs and exhale. Learning how to focus her hearing and drown out the cacophony of sound assailing her at every second.
Alex always so patient with her, controlling her breathing each night and letting her stay close until she could get herself under control. Right now though, she feels anything but as she stares at the closed vault door, wishing that her X-ray vision would kick in. The sound of Alex in her ear at least comforting as she curls her hands into fists and focuses her attention on the door, willing her powers to just kick in.
At least she feels better, like she can breathe again. Though she knows that she'll only feel complete when she sees Lena again. The longing she feels so new to her. She never felt this way before or at least not to this level. Even with James, all she can remember was the fact that she constantly felt tentative and unsure of what she truly wanted apart from that initial flush and excitement of something different.
With Lena, she feels a connection, a link that stayed with her as she traverse timelines and one borne out of an amazing and loving shared experience. One that she can still recall with such clarity. How Lena felt in her arms, like she belonged there. Kara starring into glass green eyes and blown pupils after one of their many kisses that made it seem like Kara was sitting on her rooftop in Midvale starring up at the midnight velvet sky.
The smell of Lena and the sounds she made as they came together. It made her feel invincible and apparently, its as good as a kryptonian adrenaline rush as she feels her powers finally and slowly flooding her body, her hearing still not fully there though she can faintly pick up Alex's heartbeat, strong and fast as she takes out one Cadmus agent after another, giving instructions to the DEO agents that she runs into.
Kara feels the impetus to go to Alex and help but has to hold herself back, because she takes her promises to heart. She knows that Alex will find J'onn and Winn and most definitely Lena and she needed to ensure that Lillian and her minions never get their hands on the Alien tech she had been tasked to protect.
Instead, she closes her eyes and attunes her senses, trying to pick up that other distinct heartbeat she's memorized. Along with Alex's and Winn's, Kara eventually focuses on Lena's. She knows she's straining herself and she probably needs more time but she needs to hear Lena's heart and when she does, she let's out the breath she's been holding, and just focuses on its steady and comforting rhythm. "Alex...Winn's in the server room with J'onn and Lena's on the fifth...no sixth floor."
Alex nods before realizing that Kara can't see her, "Vasquez should be with Lena but I'll..." She doesn't always hear fear in Kara's voice. Most times it's when she's in the line of fire and Kara doing her own thing. Their comms link the only connection and Kara's fear tends to bleed through the line because she can't be there to protect Alex. Right now, Alex knows that her sister is fearful for Lena as much as she is worried about her.
From that very first meeting with Clark standing next to her, Kara has never underestimated Lena. Time and again, she had seen first hand how strong Lena was, despite everything that had been thrown at her, she had survived and thrived and even if she didn't realize it then, Kara had been attracted to her.
Her feelings finally coalescing when Lena had kissed her in her office. That singular kiss making her realize that she wanted to kiss Lena back. Had probably wanted to do it for some time, each interaction they had heavy with underlying emotions. And all she could recall then was feeling the need to prolong each meeting.
So she does not underestimate Lena now even if all she wants to do is leave her post and go to her, "J'onn needs help. You can take the route from the server room and maybe use the service elevator to get to the sixth floor, if it's still working. Lena's heartbeat is still steady but Winn's is too erratic."
"Are you sure?" Alex has always walked a fine line between duty and family. Always trying to serve both masters and never quite succeeding when it mattered. But she does trust Kara and makes her way towards the server room.
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"Its good to see you standing." J'onn embraces Kara, his arms pressing around her, cocooning her, letting her feel his love and relief.
"Its good to see you too." She whispers and hugs him back, relishing in not holding back her strength and feeling his hug in return. They've almost reached Lena and the rest." Kara knows that Alex has not made it through unscathed, her heartbeat still strong though her breathing slightly impacted by a fractured rib or two.
Winn also stepping up and helping Alex get to where she needed to be. And J'onn just places his hand on her shoulder when she gasps, tears forming in her eyes as she finally hears Lena's voice. She doesn't even need to ask as she hears Alex pass the Comms link over to Lena.
"Lena"
"Is that really you?" "I remember everything." Their voices blending together, the relief and love palpable in the short exchange.
"You did it...I knew you could. You really did it Lena. I.." Kara senses it more than anything, that electric like current in the air, that ozone like smell of hot kryptonite. J'onn picking it up as well. Her attention split between Lena's frantic voice that's so clear now, her powers finally fully restored as she rushes to grab another Comms link, her words to Alex succinct and clear, "You don't let Lena anywhere near here..Alex..Promise me...You keep her safe."
"Copy that. You do what you have to do and I'll see you later."Alex's words like a balm, allowing her to focus on what she needs to do to make it back to Lena. Her X-ray vision confirming what her other senses had picked up on.
"Metallo..."
"And Hank Henshaw." The sound of metal on metal, loud and reverberating. "They're going to blow up the door." She sees the explosives being paced in the hole created by Hank and brings up her cape to cover J'onn and her own body as best she can, the blast pushing against her as she collides with J'onn, both of them falling to the ground.
J'onn's prepared though as he twists around at the very last second, using his speed and momentum to get back on his feet and pulling Kara up, his focus on the two intruders. "You handle Hank and I'll take care of Metallo."
Kara does not hesitate as she propels herself towards Hank Henshaw, barely avoiding the laser he shoots in her direction and revelling in the force of the contact that she makes as she collides with him, sending him back through the vault door. She does not relent in her attack and can see that J'onn does not either as he fights to keep Metallo from using the kryptonite in his chest against her.
She's still keeping tabs on Alex and Lena though, her Super hearing attuned to them and their heartbeats until she picks up on Alex's racing one even as she realizes that Lillian Luthor has her hands on Lena.
Her punches getting increasingly frantic as she tries to take Hank down, needing to finish the battle as quickly as possible so that she could go to Lena's aid. Her focus split and wavering, which gives Hank an opportunity to go on the offensive, pinning her down, his laser slashing Kara across her bicep.
J'onn remembering how Alex had disable Metallo that first time as he grabs a Trombusan staff, thrusting it upwards as Metallo rushes him, the metal tip piercing the kryptonite armor and sending the Cadmus agent to his knees.
Kara swallows her cry of pain as she tries to keep track of Lena's heartbeat, now slightly speeded up but still no where near Alex's racing one. She pushes against Hank's arm that's pressed against her throat. Gasping for air as soon as the arm is removed, her eyes blinking as she takes in J'onn holding his doppelgänger in a vice grip. It gives her just the opening she needs as she reaches back and puts as much power into the punch that she can muster. Sending both Hank and J'onn backwards and crashing into the shelves.
She does not wait though as she sees Hank finally collapse to the ground and rushes out, her Super speed sending her towards Lena in seconds.
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Alex is at least grateful that her gun is loaded even if she cannot get a clear shot as she moves in tandem with Lillian, trying her best to get her one chance. She tries so hard to push through her immense fear of losing Lena as it nearly overpowers her. Instead, she bites down on her tongue, drawing blood but at least keeping her focused on the woman who was responsible for hurting so many of the people she cared for in her life.
All Alex can hear is the rush of blood in her ears, and the way her heart almost beats out of her chest even if Lena looks just too calm considering Lillian is just about to pull the trigger. All she can hope for is a clear shot or that Kara comes to save the day because she needs her Sister and she does not have anything else left that she can do. Apart from being there for Lena and taking the shot if she could.
Lena can't believe that her plan has finally worked in her favor as she feels Lillian press the gun to her temple. Her trigger finger already twitching and Lena knows she has this one chance. Her left hand brushing across Lillian's forearm around her throat as if she's trying to ask for release but then falling away as Lillian tightens her hold further.
Lena closes her eyes and wills herself to see Kara in her mind's eye. They way her eyes sparkle so blue, the feel of her lips on hers and that half smile that Lena knows is solely meant for her, signifying a connection that could defy time. The micro needle, containing the fast acting poison created by her mother to kill aliens, already doing its work. The one that she's been keeping on her ever since they escaped Cadmus. Too small to feel but its effects almost immediate as she feels Lillian's tight grip on her throat begin to loose, the gun in her right hand falling noisily to the ground.
Lena's legs suddenly giving out because the adrenaline rush she had been riding on has finally dissipated and she cannot seem to stop her own fall but at least she sees her mother's inert body hit the ground first. Her eyes slipping shut as she braces for her body to collide with the floor. Only all she feels is the warmth surrounding her, so different from her expectation of hitting the cold concrete floor.
The sense of finally belonging overwhelming her as she feels Kara's strong arms embrace her and hears that beautiful voice in her ear. "I've got you, Lena...I've got you." She does not hold back any longer as she let's go, her consciousness slipping under because she knows that Kara is finally there with her and she's finally able to rest.
End Part 10