sorry it took so long, it was hard to figure out where to go, I set my self up for a drop and then got distracted. Anyway here it is, thank you to everyone who reviewed.
Reviews are so loved.
Disclaimer is in Chapter 1
A soft cough woke her, she hadn't realized she had fallen asleep again; every little thing made her feel tired now. But a moment later she realized why she had slept so well and what the noise had been about.
Her head was rested on Lou's shoulder and her man was still sleeping with his arms around her; and one hand in a, though comfortable, rather awkward position. Sara was settling into one of the chairs by her bed. As Catherine looked around she realized that the bed was still tipped up.
Suddenly she remembered why his hand was there and the whole conversation that had lead up to it. Her cheeks flushed and she pulled the covers up to help mask the clear show of affection.
" You know I don't care. How was your alone time?" Sara asked, a grin plastered on her face.
" I think it was good. We needed it. I think I fell asleep on him but I think he needed the sleep too. Whats in the bag? You didn't happen to bring him some food did you?" Catherine asked, eyeing the extra bag beside Sara's chair, there was the usual backpack and then an extra grocery bag. She knew Lou needed to eat, usually he ate like a race horse but in the past four days he had barely left her side since his last shift.
" Yes, among other things. Are you feeling sore? You look stiff." The brunette commented.
" Most likely she is, she hasn't had her oral pain medication in two days; only the drip." A nurse cut in holding out a med cup. " I'll let you take these and bring you some food shortly; we didn't want to wake either of you and your vitals were stable so we left you."
" I have some food for her, it is liquid." Sara told the nurse as she took the med cup and handed it to Catherine. With a nod the nurse was gone and Sara offered her a glass of juice that had thickener in it. Though she found the consistency disgusting it was thinner than what she had been getting and it tasted good. She downed the pills easily, she immediately noticed that she felt stronger; but there was an ache in her stomach.
" I take it you are feeling better? You hungry?" Sara asked, digging through the grocery bag for a moment.
Catherine nodded and she watched as Sara pulled out a pudding cup and a container wrapped in tinfoil.
" I actually cooked, just for you. You wanna feed yourself?" The brunette grinned, setting a spoon on the tray.
Again Catherine nodded, not completely sure that she could, but she would try. After only a few bites she began to struggle to swallow, it was as if her throat didn't want to cooperate; the gurgling cough in her throat got Sara's attention. She closed her eyes as she felt Sara's fingers at her throat and a second later the food was down. Her friend helped her finish the meal but she didn't feel as up beat as she had before; she was still completely dependent on someone else.
After a few minutes Sara toggled the bed control to lay her down, and then grabbed Lou's foot; making the detective jump. He groaned and sat up fast , jarring Catherine. She immediately felt pain flare through her body. A second later he had turned back, realizing what had happened; she almost laughed at how worried he was. She was glad that Lou cared but at the same time she wished he wouldn't look at her as a breakable doll. Once she convinced him she was fine he took off for the bathroom and Sara helped her do her stretches.
The exercises were helping to keep her legs and arms from cramping up and atrophying. Right now she knew there was nothing that could be done about her core; those muscles had been cut and were diminishing quickly. She wouldn't be able to work on them for a long time. As it was she had already been told that the soonest she could hope to leave the hospital was ten days after surgery and even then she would still have to be looked after.
" Are you comfortable Catherine?" Sara asked as she finished the routine.
" I'm pretty good, the pills are starting to kick in." She answered, trying to figure out what she was doing to make Sara worry.
" Then relax your back, you're all tensed up. You've been laying in the same position since you got out of surgery, is it bugging your back?"Catherine hadn't realized she had been trying to keep the pressure off of her back but in truth she may have been. She watched her friend fuss for a moment before her gown was pulled up and the covers down. Suddenly she wanted to touch the stitches, and find out exactly where they were ; she had yet to see more than a glimpse of them.
She let Sara poke at them a bit before her hand crept in closer; Sara immediately stopped her.
"I just want to know where they are and..." She trailed off, not sure how to word it.
With a sigh Sara guided her hand down to the first stitch and up to the last. The skin didn't feel tender anymore and she freed herself from Sara and poked her way back over them, finding the more sensitive spots ; she just started a third pass when Sara stopped her again.
" Catherine they are a lot better than they were, almost all of the swelling is gone and the redness is settling out. They still need a long time to heal, if you poke enough you will hurt your self. They aren't irritated at all so they cant be bugging you, I am thinking it might actually be your back; bedsores can form quickly and it has already been five days. I'm going to roll you and you need to tell me if it hurts." The brunette fixed the gown and Catherine nodded.
She felt her friend's hand under her and then she was rolled onto her side, Catherine felt Sara turn her shoulders and then her hips; she turned her head. She felt the pressure under her spine relax and then a little against her stitches. It didn't hurt but it wasn't the most comfortable either; it felt better than being on her back.
" Cath, I'll be right back. I'm going to find a nurse." Sara told her, something in her friend's voice made her nervous; she didn't want to deal with anything else right now.
A few seconds later she heard Sara explaining to the nurse that her back was red and felt the probing fingers. " I will go get the doctor." The nurse told them without saying anything as to what was going on.
Finally the doctor came in and again touched her back; this time the woman told her something. " Hi Catherine my name is Dena Craiggs I will be overseeing your care and eventually your out patient care. You have the beginning stages of pressure sores."
Catherine felt gentle fingers brush over her shoulders and then her but and finally her heels; it only served to remind her how exposed she was. " The sores come from lying in the same position for a long period of time. In your case the difficulty is we have nothing to compare your healing process to. This isn't a common occurrence. I'm going to get ultra sound equipment in here and we will see if we cant get you up into a wheel chair." The woman moved so that Catherine could see her face.
The doctor was young and pretty, she couldn't help but wonder how long the woman had been working. Yet she had a reassuring smile and Catherine felt safe. She heard a tray roll into the room and the nurse was dismissed; there was slight irritance in the doctor's voice. The tone became reassuring again as Catherine was told that she was going to be rolled and they were taking off the gown.
She lay still watching the screen as best she could as the doctor probed the wand over her stomach, as the wand moved lower Catherine found herself thinking of the baby growing inside of her; she was torn between logic and wishful thinking. " Can you see anything of the baby? Is it to early to tell if it is okay? If there is infection or harm because of this?"
" It is very early, the embryo is not barely a week old. I don't know that I will be able to see anything but I will check, if there is any infection we should be able to find that. The rest will have to be determined as the baby develops." The doctor told her moving the wand even lower, working it around a bit before speaking again. " It is to early to see anything much of the embryo, it will only be a few cells right now but there is no sign of infection. I need to check to see how your body is pulling back down there anyway so I will check for any visible problems but other than that we will have to wait."
Catherine nodded and when told allowed her knees to be lifted and let the doctor continue her exam.
She felt Sara hovering by her shoulder through out, knowing her friend was trying to be understanding and preserve any modesty she had left. The doctor then helped her into a fresh gown and lowered the bed rail.
" Like I said I don't have any study or common case to compare this to so I am going by what your body is telling me. It looks like everything is starting to heal so we are going to get you up into a wheel chair to sit for a bit. It will relieve the pressure on your back and it is another step closer to going home." The doctor told her.
" Can I try walking? Just a little bit?" She pushed, honestly unsure if her body would cooperate for that but she wanted to try.
" Okay how about we walk to the bathroom and back? Your friend and I will support you but if you feel any pain I need you to tell me." The doctor answered hesitantly.
Catherine nodded and Sara moved closer. The doctor showed Sara how to turn her legs and then together they turned her so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed, she felt the change in position. Catherine was glad that they let her sit a moment because she felt the twist in her body and it wasn't pleasant.
Both propped one of their shoulders under hers and pressed their hands onto each others backs; keeping the pressure off of her and making a cradle for her to lean on . Slowly she stood, immediately feeling the lack of use of her legs.
The walk was slow but sitting in the bathroom was rewarding; it felt like a step towards life. She watched as Dena brought the wheel chair to the doorway; they weren't going to let her walk back. It puzzled her that the doctor had stayed, she knew this was the job a nurse would do. She let them help her into the wheel chair and move her back to the bedside.
She watched as the doctor fussed with her charts and Sara made the bed; again she felt useless. When the woman put down the clip board and went for a drawer she began to pay more attention; the blonde had found a brush. She felt the woman move to stand behind her and slowly her hair was pulled back. Catherine knew how gross her hair had to be, it had been more than five days since she had showered, and it didn't seem to bother the doctor what so ever. She recognized the braid as it formed and then was tucked up at the base of her neck and somehow secured; it felt good to have it away from her face. Curiosity finally got the better of her.
" Why are you doing this?" Catherine asked, seeing Sara perk at the question; knowing her friend had probably been wondering the same thing.
" Its my job." Came a quick reply, the doctor immediately pulling away. Just as fast Catherine caught her wrist; feeling the slight pull in her shoulder and was instantly thankful that the woman didn't pull away but just stopped.
" Braiding my hair and helping me walk is not really your job. My sister is a nurse and my job has put me in enough hospitals to know that. Why did you stay after giving me the okay to get up?" Catherine asked again, trying to ignore the disappointment at a gesture so simple being felt right through her; it would have been a decision she'd have regretted if the doctor hadn't known how to react.
" Because four years ago you stayed with my sister and brought her back to me and my family; I will never forget it." Dena answered, a hint of something in her voice that Catherine couldn't place; just as she couldn't place the woman.
Sadly she looked at green eyes, apologizing for not being able to remember. She could not place the woman, there were so many victims and families and right now she just wasn't on the ball; her mind was only half focused on the world as her body was also demanding her attention. The woman just smiled.
" You don't remember and that's okay because it tells me something else; something good. It means you didn't give my sister special treatment, that is just how you handle victims and you cant know what that means to me." The woman paused and Catherine didn't know what to say; she was glad when the young doctor continued. " Three years ago you took a rape case from another CSI. It was active but just not being given any thought; you proved that when you closed that. But you did more than just take the file and close it. You came to my family's home and talked to Kayla, you cared and I don't know if you ever found out but she kept her rapist's child and is raising him and does not regret it. She says it is because someone showed her that every life has value; you showed her that and me that. You had to push to do it and it did hurt; it was hard to know that a friend had done such a thing. We never really saw you again after the trial; didn't get a chance to talk."
Catherine tried to open her mouth but her brain was in shock; she could not remember the case. She knew what to say and as a mother knew how useless the words were; that was why she had come up with her own speeches for victims and families. It wasn't that they were rehearsed, each was slightly tailored to the situation; but it wasn't going out of her way. That was doing her job.
" My sister was suicidal before you took the case, the CSI before didn't care, interviewed her at the hospital and never followed up. She felt used and useless; that no one cared. We knew it was coming and were sort of waiting until the evening you showed up; you came to the house four times and then helped her prepare for court, to hear the trial just outside the doors." Catherine realized that Dena had crouched and taken her hand.
" But that's my job." She finally found words and realized that her voice sounded just as shell shocked as she felt.
" Well it wasn't CSI Carlson's and it gave me back my sister so it meant something to me. I honestly didn't hear your name and ask for your surgery or your file but, well, it was a bit of a daunting one and I just agreed to assist until I got into the operating room and took a peek under the cover. Forgive me for the invasion of privacy but it is a personal policy to know who I am working on; even if it is just their face. It was a bit of a shock to realize who it was but after that when the head surgeon was asking to pass it off I jumped." Green eyes locked with Catherine's and both were silent for a moment.
" I am not technically a surgeon with the hospital, I just volunteer; I am actually part of a emergency response team that is on leave for the next year after two and half years in Iraq trying to help civilians. If you ever figure out who my family is you will understand a bit better. I left shortly after the trial."
The room was still dead silent.
" I also was curious if you don't have a OBGYN for your pregnancy I would continue to monitor it, my sister runs a practice that I can work from; medicine runs in my family. She did truly bounce back because you cared and I would like to prove that we care and we remember; there are probably a lot of people who remember you whom you just don't know about." The doctor squeezed her hand and stood, Catherine stared up at her; still at a loss for words. Her stomach was twisting, she wasn't sure what it was from, she felt guilt and honour and fear and confusion. " I will check in on you later. That's a promise."
Catherine nodded, staring after her silently, she just didn't know what to think. She wished she could remember the case. Sara's voice pulled her back from her thoughts. " I guess that proof of full circle. Our work does change lives, even when it feels like we destroy so many. You kept that family together. Want me to find that case?"