Only Us
Chapter Ten
Elly held Chloe against her chest as they laid together in Chloe's bed.
Breaking the silence that had existed between them since they fell into bed together and made love to one another, Elly said, "I can't believe I nearly told my family we were going to bed together. Do you think they knew what I did actually mean or did they accept the excuse of sleeping on your couch?"
Chloe sighed as she rested her head on Elly's chest, "Is there a part of you that did want them to find out? Maybe not that way with Finn pushing your buttons just by talking to you but did you want them to know?"
"I don't know," Elly whispered still unable to commit her feelings for Chloe, "Of course a small part of me wants them to know about us. I just don't know how to have that conversation with them. And I suddenly realize that I do not want Finn to know about you. If he does and he gets his memories back or he truly is faking his amnesia, he's going to target you and I couldn't live with myself if he hurt you. I need to protect you."
"So are you keeping us in the closet because you're still afraid to tell people about us or because now you think it's protecting me by not telling people so Finn doesn't find out and tries to hurt me?" Chloe asked sadly.
Elly couldn't answer her girlfriend.
"You can't keep doing this, Elly," Chloe whispered, "You can't keep raising my hopes up that we will be a couple, making love to me and then just come up with another reason why you don't want people to know. I can't keep doing this every night. I want more from you."
"I know," Elly whispered back as she ran her hand across Chloe's lower back but didn't reassure Chloe that she could give her more.
Chloe ignored the fact that Elly couldn't assure her more, then suddenly remembering what happened before Finn had tried to introduce himself to her, "As much as I didn't like meeting Finn after everything he's done to you…I guess we were lucky that Karl and Susan came home when they did. Two minutes later and I never would've been able to look them in the eyes for the rest of my life. I can't believe you almost did that thing to me right there on their couch."
Elly giggled unashamedly, "I can't believe I almost did that thing to you right there on their couch. I'm not capable of resisting you no matter where we are though I should've had enough sense to move it to my room. Two minutes later and you wouldn't have been the only one unable to look Susan and Karl in the eyes for the rest of your life. I am sorry that I pulled away from you the way I did. I kind of left you to fix up your clothes alone when it was my desperation for you that left you sitting there like that."
"Yeah, that was a little awkward," Chloe confessed.
Elly nodded, "Right, I'll restrain my desperation for you and keep that just for your bedroom and shower as that is not the way I would want to come out to my family."
Chloe smiled at the thought that Elly may have thought of ways that she could come out to her family and took that as a sign that maybe one day her girlfriend will be ready to have that conversation with them.
Elly pressed her lips against Chloe's forehead, asking a question that was playing on her mind, "Chlo, will you be here with me when I wake up in the morning? I know I shouldn't even have a right to ask if you'll be here when I wake up after the way I treated you for weeks but I…I really want you to be here in the morning. I don't ever want to wake up without you in my arms."
"I'll be here," Chloe whispered but didn't look Elly in the eyes as her mind wandered to the reason why she had abandoned Elly in bed that morning; she left to go have a coffee with Haley.
Elly finally asked her the question that had been playing on her mind all day but she'd been avoiding it, "Aaron told me you left me in bed this morning as you got a message from little-miss-harmless-random-adorableness…my words, not his…and had coffee with her. Was it coffee between work colleagues or a date?"
Chloe felt her heart racing as she felt uncomfortable talking about another woman whilst she laid there on top of Elly's naked body but she eventually answered, "I thought it was just a coffee between work colleagues…but there were definite date-like-qualities about the coffee meeting."
Elly breathed deeply, trying not to show her jealousy, "Do you want to date her?"
Chloe still couldn't look Elly in the eyes, "I'm having drinks with Hales after work tonight and I think that might be a date."
"Right," Elly whispered, trying to hide her pain, asking again, "Do you want to date her?"
"I want to date you," Chloe reminded Elly, "But you won't let me. I told you that I can't keep hiding this relationship forever and I want to take our relationship public one day soon and you don't want to. You told me I could date other people if I needed to be with someone in a public relationship as long as I still come to bed with you each night. Have you changed your mind about stopping our relationship been a secret and that it will eventually in the near future be known to our friends and family?"
Elly couldn't answer Chloe.
Chloe sighed, "I want to be with someone who isn't afraid to be seen with me when we are in the community. I love you and I love been with you every night but if you can't give me what I want…I'm not giving you an ultimatum but yes if drinks tonight with Hales is a date then I want to date her. She's not afraid of been seen with me and she doesn't keep me at a distance the way you do."
Elly felt a tear prickling her eye but refused to let it slide down her cheek, "Will you come home tonight and still be with me or will you go home with her tonight?"
"It's just a date, Elly, I'm not ready to sleep with her and I don't see myself been ready to anytime soon, you're the only person I'm sleeping with tonight," Chloe decided.
"Okay," Elly whispered sadly, hating herself that she was driving Chloe towards another woman for needing something that Elly couldn't bring herself to give Chloe, "I'll be busy tonight with the tutoring anyway so I'll come over here when I've finished and we can have some dinner together. You…go have drinks with her."
Chloe sighed as she closed her eyes, wishing her girlfriend would find a way to fight for her and prove once and for all that she wanted to be in a public relationship with Chloe.
The couple quietly fell asleep in one another's' arms, both worried how the next evening could end up affecting their relationship.
The next evening, Chloe and Haley headed straight to the Waterhole after work. It was Friday night and they were both looking forward to the upcoming weekend and not having to work. Haley was new to the area and was hoping Chloe would offer to show her around the place.
Haley still couldn't get a read on Chloe, she was very good at her job, had Paul, Terese and Leo all organised so they could do their jobs and not have to worry about other problems that had popped up at the hotel. Haley didn't know how Chloe managed to be three executive's assistants even though technically she was only meant to be Terese's. Haley only had Pierce and his businesses to worry about.
Haley was still working out of Chloe's office but after the first day had migrated to the meeting table sitting opposite Chloe's desk so she could stare at the blonde during moments of boredom. This morning Terese had offered to organise Haley an office of her own but Haley was surprised when Chloe backed her up that they were comfortable working together in the office and Terese didn't need to go to any trouble to find another room.
Chloe didn't spend any time at work discussing her private life and whilst Haley didn't push her too much on the issue, she was still curious to learn Chloe's story. Chloe had opened up a little bit during their coffee the previous morning and Haley had learnt that Chloe was the third of four siblings and had 3 brothers, 1 that she currently lived with, 1 that lived across the street from them and the youngest was back in Adelaide where she grew up.
Haley and Chloe walked into the Waterhole and sat together on the bar stools at the corner of the bar so they were facing each other with Chloe facing the entrance to the bar. Haley still couldn't get a read on Chloe when they sat close enough together that their legs grazed against each other's but Chloe didn't say a word or move her leg away.
"Do you come here often, Chloe?" Haley asked.
"The Waterhole is just about the only place I visit for a drink and good meal. There is a good nightclub in the city, Back Lane Bar, that we hit up when the occasion is good but I like to stay local, Hales," Chloe explained.
"I like what I've seen so far," Haley flirted, "Of the town, it seems like a good place to be. Pierce raved about this place for so long I'm not surprised he decided to move back here when the chance came up to. Do you want to get dinner too, or just drinks, Chloe?"
Chloe shook her head at the prospect of dinner, "Just drinks…I think I'm supposed to have dinner with a friend tonight, I can't really remember what the plan was. Work was long and tiring today and I have no idea what I decided on this morning. Is just drinks, okay, Hales?"
Haley nodded, curious as to who Chloe would be having dinner with, "No problem. Are you free for dinner tomorrow night, Chloe?"
Chloe blushed at the thought that Haley was asking her out again before they had barely started this date, if it was actually indeed a date, and then tried not to think of Elly as she agreed, "Sure, that sounds nice, Hales."
"We could go to a nice restaurant in the city, get away from the Waterhole for at least one night, Chloe," Haley offered.
Chloe nodded, "I'd like that, Hales."
A few minutes later the pair had ordered a drink each from Shane and were starting to delve into a conversation about how they came to be working their respective jobs, Haley's past of growing up in a small country town before moving to the city to study at university and then moving across the country in search of better career opportunities, Chloe's past travel adventures, her desire to come home to Australia to spend time with her brothers and her living situation with Aaron and David on Ramsey Street and how much Chloe loved living in a house that had both a pool and spa.
Chloe wasn't prepared to reveal much of her past, returning to Australia after Mel stole all her money and abandoned her in a foreign country owing money to local businesses, Chloe's Huntington's diagnosis, let alone the debacle of her relationship with Mark due to sleeping with his fiancé. Though she felt bad for concealing some of her past misdeeds and misadventures she also reasoned if this was a first date then she couldn't scare Haley off immediately and she was sure Haley had stories of her own she wasn't sharing yet.
Chloe was surprised by how free-flowing their conversation was going with no awkward breaks what-so-ever and it became evident quickly that this was definitely a date. Elly was still on Chloe's mind as she always was and Chloe felt bad that she was on a date with another woman. Chloe was still trying to convince herself she wasn't making a mistake by wanting to date someone who was comfortable dating her in public. Though Chloe was still waiting for Elly come to terms with their relationship and was prepared to keep waiting for Elly she knew she couldn't wait forever and when Elly had insisted that Chloe date other people Chloe had taken Elly at her word that it wouldn't come between them.
As the pair found themselves ordering a third round of drinks, Chloe suddenly realized that the pair had been talking for more than an hour and she was enjoying the company of her co-worker. Haley was doing all the little things right, the ones that Chloe desperately wanted Elly to be capable of, staring deep into her eyes like they were the only two people in the bar, leaning towards Chloe when she was talking, clearly captivated and giving her complete attention, flirting obviously but not outrageously with Chloe, and didn't hold back in regularly placing her hand on Chloe's knee when Haley was keeping Chloe's attention to her own stories.
After more than an hour of conversation, it was finally broken momentarily when Chloe's phone beeped with a text message. Chloe waved it off that she didn't need to check it but Haley insisted that she did as she knew that Chloe had some kind of dinner plans and didn't want to keep her from them. Chloe unlocked her phone, and saw the message was from Elly.
"Hey baby, I've had a terrible evening, can you call me? I need to hear your voice. XOX"
Chloe hesitated for a moment before looking back up at Haley. She was completely torn in the moment to immediately call Elly and find out what had happened whilst also fighting the urge because she had spent the better part of the last two months dropping everything for Elly despite Elly continuing to hold her at a distance. Not to mention the fact that this minute Chloe was getting to know Haley.
"Looks like my dinner plans are on, I'll have to head out in ten minutes after I've finished this drink," Chloe lied to Haley, reasoning that Elly could wait ten minutes and she would call her as soon as she was out of Haley's earshot, "I'm sorry Hales, I was really enjoying myself,"
"No problems at all, I can't keep you all to myself all night long even though I want to," Haley flirted with Chloe and placed her hand on Chloe's knee squeezing it to show she meant what she was saying, "Do you still want to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"
Chloe couldn't help but smile back at her, "That'd be nice. Do you want to pick me up or decide on a restaurant and I'll meet you there?"
"Text me your address, I'll pick you up," Haley offered, "Besides I wouldn't mind checking out this pool and spa of yours, not to get in them but it'd be nice to see your place more than your front door."
"Are you doing anything on Sunday, Hales?" Chloe asked before she could stop herself and upon Haley shaking her head, Chloe asked her, "I was planning on spending Sunday by the pool as the weather looks to be fantastic which is surprising for a Melbourne autumn and need to take advantage of it…do you want to come over to my place and hang out with me by the pool?"
"I'd like that," Haley agreed.
The pair soon found themselves back into their conversation about their past as they decided to enjoy the last few moments of their date before Chloe had to leave.
A few minutes later Elly was outside walking through the Lassiters complex headed to the Waterhole to drown her sorrows with a drink or two after a rough night before she wanted to head to Chloe's place for dinner and the evening with her girlfriend. Trying not to take it personally that Chloe hadn't called her back immediately as she had asked, Elly reasoned that Chloe hadn't seen the message.
Debating to herself over whether calling Chloe would be too much especially after the number of times Elly had tried contacting Chloe earlier that week. Finally, unable to avoid the desperate need to hear Chloe's voice even if it was only her voicemail message, Elly pulled up Chloe's number in her contacts and called the number.
Elly held her phone to her ear as she opened the door to the Waterhole.
The next minute seemed to slow down for Elly as she entered the bar and saw Chloe sitting at the bar with Haley.
Elly smiled for half a second at the sight of her girlfriend despite the fact Chloe was there with another woman.
Elly suddenly became aware of the song playing in the bar in the background and as she listened to the lyrics as the next minute passed the song resonated with Elly as it somewhat reminded her of the situation she had put Chloe in.
"Dancing with a Stranger" - Sam Smith
"I don't wanna be alone tonight
It's pretty clear that I'm not over you
I'm still thinking 'bout the things you do
So I don't want to be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight"
The smile was wiped from Elly's face when she watched on as Chloe, who hadn't noticed her across the room, heard her phone ringing, picked up her phone, checked the caller ID, put the phone face down back on the bar and from what Elly could make out from lip reading, said to Haley, "I don't need to answer, it's not important, I'll call her back in a little while."
"Can you light the fire?
I need somebody who can take control
I know exactly what I need to do
'Cause I don't wanna be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight"
Elly's face fell at Chloe's action. Elly felt her hand droop back to her side, her phone no longer near her ear.
Though she wanted to leave the bar immediately Elly couldn't walk away and whilst at first it looked promising for Elly, as she watched Chloe and Haley say goodbye to one another, it only got worse when Elly had to stand there unable to do anything as Haley lent forwards and captured Chloe's lips in a deep kiss.
"Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new
Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger
Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new
Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger
Dancing with a stranger"
Elly's mind raced with thoughts - Why can't I be brave enough to do that? I wouldn't be standing here watching my girlfriend kiss another woman. Chloe deserves someone who can do that for her. This is all my fault.