(Author's Note: This Chapter is the result of listening to too much angsty music, reading too much LxLight fanfiction and generally being a freak. Don't worry; this isn't going to be a complete romance fic, and it's not going to be Yaoi at all in this storyline. But I had to put in a little bit of LxLight, if only to further the plot in the future (and explain a bit of L's mentality towards Kira). Enjoy my attempt at writing angsty romance. And if romance between two guys freaks you out, then what the hell are you doing reading my work? But this shouldn't squick you too much. The soundtrack to this was just two songs, both on replay. They were Ashes and Wine by A Fine Frenzy, which I have already mentioned once (amazing song; beautiful voice), and my new favourite song, Have Faith In Me by A Day To Remember. Enjoy.)

Six Years Ago…

The bells were unusually loud that night, as he'd told Light. He knew that it was probably just himself being weird again, but he'd always been able to hear the sound of church bells particularly loud. It was one of his earliest memories, after all. A time when he'd been ruled by his emotions… he was pathetic.

He dragged himself out of his thoughts and focussed on the now; the drip, drip, drip of water from his sodden hair onto the floor, and the sound of Light Yagami's breathing as he, the world's greatest detective, dried the feet of the man he was certain was Kira.

It was odd. L was justice. By rights, he should hate Light Yagami. And he did… he hated Kira with all his heart. But he hadn't been lying when he'd said that Light was his first ever friend. Besides Watari, of course, but Watari didn't really count. There was something about Light… something that reminded L of himself. No, that wasn't it… there was something compelling about him that…

L stopped trying to describe it, because he couldn't. It was impossible for L, who had spent his whole life faking emotion, to put into words the feelings of a real, tangible emotion.

Once more he tried in vain to clear his head, and focussed on drying the soles of Kira's feet. And then he felt something touch his hair, and then his head. He looked up, and Light Yagami was leaning forwards, holding a towel.

"Here. You're soaked."

Light started to dry L's hair, and L let him as he continued on his feet. And something passed between them – the detective and the killer. Something that words couldn't describe.

"Ryuzaki…"

Light's voice was soft, kind. L looked up, startled. Light was looking at him almost tenderly, with an innocence about him that L hadn't seen in him before.

"Please… look at me."

L did; closer than he ever had before. And without analysing.

"I'm not Kira. I promise you I'm not Kira. And I can't go on knowing that you think… I don't want you thinking that I am."

L was slightly confused, but didn't show it.

"I'm not convinced that you are Kira, Light."

A lie, right there.

"I told you, it's only a small probability."

Another lie.

"But there is still a possibility."

Light looked down.

"I wish there was some way to make you trust me… to tell you that I'm not a murderer. Knowing that you think that… it's hurting me."

Light's face honestly looked like he was in pain. Some kind of underlying sadness there… it was strange. If this was an act, it was too cheesy. And yet it didn't seem like an act…

"Why would it hurt you?"

Light clenched his fist in frustration, putting the towel down.

"Because I… It's hard for me, Ryuzaki. I can't say this to you. I'm sorry."

He stood up, and L stood up as well before he could stop himself.

"Tell me, Light. What's on your mind?"

He was curious now. Incredibly curious; why was Light acting so strangely?

Light looked at him, now standing up, and L unconsciously took a step forwards; the Light here was real. L was sure of it. This Light was insecure… scared, even. Hurt that L would think ill of him. Maybe he wasn't Kira… no, all the evidence pointed that way.

Light looked down.

"Ryuzaki… L… You told me that I was your friend. You were lying… I know that. But… look, about you thinking I'm Kira. Have you ever ignored the evidence and… listened to your heart?"

L shook his head.

"I don't listen to my heart; I've been told by many reliable sources that I don't have one."

Light's expression was one of pain, as if every word said was physically hurting him.

"I… Ryuzaki… I know that I'm being stupid. I know this isn't right or good or helping at all… but I'm listening to my heart now."

L was really confused now. What was he talking about? What was he… Was he really trying to say that…

Suddenly L felt hands grab his shoulders, and he flinched, eyes closing. He felt breath ghost across his face, and slowly opened his eyes. Light was level with his face, their noses almost touching. The smell of peppermint hung in the air; the gum that Light had taken off Matsuda earlier.

"Ryuzaki… I'm not Kira. If I was Kira… I couldn't love you like I do."

L couldn't think. This wasn't right. This wasn't supposed to happen. Light was Kira, and if he let things run their course, he would be executed for that… Justice would prevail.

But there was no way that the boy in front of him could be Kira.

No, he was acting. He was trying to mess with his head. L was never duped. L's emotions were never toyed with. This couldn't be happening.

"Ryuzaki…"

Light's voice again. Soft. Tender. Beguiling.

"Please. I swear to you… I'm not Kira."

And L let go. He just let go of everything. He'd deal with the consequences later.

"I…"

He couldn't say it. He couldn't admit that…

"I…"

L closed his eyes; he didn't want Light to be Kira. It was almost inconceivable. But all the evidence pointed that way. Logically, Light had to be Kira. The Thirteen Day rule had to be a fake, and Light had to be Kira. But L couldn't feel what he was feeling now for a murderer. Could he? L found to his surprise that he was shaking; he wasn't cold, so was he… nervous? He didn't remember the last time he'd been nervous.

"Please. I'm not a murderer."

L braced himself as all the evidence was thrown away, and he ignored his head for the first time in years.

"I know, Light."

Lawliet stayed motionless, feeling the name of the worst mass murderer in history under his fingertips. The stone was cold; icy to the touch. But Lawliet barely even noticed. He shook his head to try and clear out the memories. The one time where he'd let himself go. The one night he'd opened his heart… the one night he'd even acknowledged that he had a heart. He'd revealed his soul to the worst criminal in history… and because of that lapse in judgement, he had died, as had so many more people. He'd let his emotions rule for just a few moments, and he'd lost. He hated himself for that. Proof, if any more were needed, that emotions were the bane of any investigator. And Light had beaten him.

He'd manipulated him, and in the end, Lawliet had fallen for it just as Misa, Takada and all the other girls had. And yet… Lawliet couldn't bring himself to hate him. He just couldn't…

"Light…"

Light nodded, realising that he was gripping L's arms too tightly and letting go.

"Yes, Ryuzaki?"

L closed his eyes, looking away. What he wanted to say would sound so strange. It wasn't like him at all… and yet…

"What did you mean? When you said that Kira couldn't love me?"

Light laughed slightly.

"I… Anybody else would have figured that out by now. But I guess you can't be good at everything. Kira couldn't love you, which means that I'm not Kira… because I think I do."

L nodded, his brain whirling through hundreds of reasons why this was just an act. But he ignored them. He'd already told Light he believed him. That was probably a lie. Light was probably lying to him now. Lying was a part of L, and if Light was Kira, then it was a part of him, too. But… L didn't want it to be a lie. And if it was, it was a beautiful lie.

L took a shaky step back.

"Are you telling me that you love me, Light?"

Light looked away, shivering.

"I don't know… if I could love anyone, I think… I think it would be you."

L nodded, trying to stay professional and analytical about this.

"Alright. And would it be reasonable of me to suggest that if you do feel this way, you have some desire that I feel the same way for you."

Light chuckled, blinking slowly.

"You… you always say the weirdest things. But yeah, I suppose you're right."

L took a step forwards, and then a little half step. They were the same height… it would be so easy. A new experience… just a little forward motion…

"And… hypothetically speaking, if I returned the sentiment… what would be the next step. What… normally happens?"

Light smiled, gently taking L's hand. Both their fingers were cold from the rain outside.

"I… You're really useless at this, aren't you?"

L shrugged.

"I wouldn't know."

Light gently reached upwards, and using the back of his hand, he brushed L's sodden hair out of his face, caressing his cheek.

"Well… there's no normal about this, Ryuzaki. But if there was… I'd probably do this."

Lawliet opened his eyes, and tenderly ran his finger along the top of the gravestone.

Light Yagami.

The murderer who had stolen his first kiss. The murderer who had shown him that he had a heart.

And the murderer who, just a few hours later, revealed that it had all been a lie. The murderer who had eventually brought about his own death.

Lawliet stood up, looking with a mixture of disappointment, regret, admiration and fondness at the cold stone. Then he bowed his head.

"You always were a strange person, Light Yagami. I wonder if you actually meant what you said… but it doesn't matter now."

He smiled slightly, and put his hands back in his pockets.

"I miss you, Light."

And Lawliet looked once more over the grey stone before turning and walking away, turning his back on the man Light Yagami could have been and walking back towards the car.

Ryuk was sat on top of it, flicking through his Death Note, and looked up when Lawliet approached.

"You took your time, Lawliet."

Lawliet didn't look up, instead just getting into the car.

"I apologize, Ryuk. I was just saying my goodbyes. Now, we need to go and plan for your career as a model."

Ryuk chuckled, and got into the shotgun seat.

"Alright, you're the boss. But let's go, already; I need an apple."

Lawliet started the car, and left Light Yagami behind him. He was gone, now. Nothing more than a memory in the rear-view mirror of his car.

(Author's Note: I'm in conflict with myself about this Chapter. It pretty much wrote itself, and felt really right; I feel that it explains the character of L a bit better now, and sets the stage for future emotional angst. But the original author hated the whole Yaoi pairing thing… I don't even know. I'm going to keep this, and hope that you guys like it, and I apologize to Shinigami117 for butchering your story. Don't worry; there will probably be no more Yaoi after this.

On another note (Hahaha, anybody get that?), and I apologize for nagging (bad boy), please consider entering the competition outlined in Chapter five; I kind of need a Shinigami, and it would be kind of boring designing one myself. However, if you have any other character ideas that you want to give me, feel free; I'll probably be introducing several OC characters in the background, the way this is going. Keep living, guys. See you next time.)